9 Varieties of Play

The 9 play varieties are: move, music, chat, feel, art, imagine, touch, random, suspense. Rather these are the fun ‘nicknames’ i have given them. we will explore all of the categories of play in depth and how they relate to each other. you can categorize play types in many ways, i chose this way to show how different play types relate and intersect. play types are all different patterns of energy as perceived through different senses.

Each play variety has ‘flavors’ within that type. like red, blue, green, or fast, slow, jittery, or happy, sad, reminiscent. Normally i don’t think about play varieties while i am playing, i don’t categorize them, yet it can help to be aware of it before hand, like you have to plan or set up an environment where play can happen, you plan to not plan, that’s the sort of paradox or zen of it. it’s about taking it in, and then trusting your subconscious to do it all without having to think about it.

These categories are just base categories, like primary colors, there are countless secondary categories or even new categories you can create by combining and modifying the different play types. i’ve included many subcategories of play also. i numbered the play varieties to give them emphasis, but they have no order.


Attributes of Play

Before we start, these are some characteristics of play itself that apply to all types of play.

Play is an activity done primarily for enjoyment, yet can have huge productive and creative benefits. It’s about doing what contributes to our personal feeling of enjoyment much more then it is about impressing others with the most clever joke. And allowing the subtle energy of my enjoyment to become a force that benefits others too.

Play often involves something new, or something you haven’t done for a period of time. Play involves variety, more then repetition. Or even a new twist on something done before.

Play can be random. It needs no linear order or logic. Play usually involves a degree of randomness, choosing between equally appealing options for the sake of creative freedom and being unique. The freedom to be random is a big one we often lose sight of, allowing ourselves to be random liberates us, frees our natural need for movement in this moment we can’t take time to calculate or predict.

Play has a harmony or rhythm. It has many different ‘notes’ or actions, yet occasionally they will repeat, or return to a theme, to familiar ‘notes’ to from a ‘harmony’. a sense of familiarity. This is because play is constructive, not pure destructive chaos, it has an organic order or resonance.

Play involves two or more people or objects interacting. Person with person, person with object, person with person with object, etc.

Play is collaborate and constructive more then it is competitive or destructive.

Play builds into an energetic flow, play produces energy, and the benefit of this flow increase the longer it continues without interruption.

People and objects in our universe that do not play or move for too long will lose energy.


9 Varieties of Play

1) Move












2) Music, 

a sequence of sounds that repeat and vairry to from a melodic harmony, going all the way from the particle level, to creating waves of energy large enough to be heard by our ears and felt by multiple senses.

3) Chat, 











‘chat’ is the cutesie nickname i give it, but the meaning of this type of play is language and music. the word ‘chat’ implies a relaxed conversation. puzzles and games are similar in that they involve many combinations, like a code that can be put together in many ways, symbols that represent physical things and abstract concepts, the gateway to imagination.


games, card games, video games. using constraints can actually add to the freedom of the play experience in a paradoxical way. like creating ‘suspense’ makes the reward better often. games are a mixture of what i call puzzle, compete, and suspense play. there is some kind of specific objective and props involve that take it different places, produces a different experience then a conversation might go where the only limit is imagination. the quality of having different types of constrains, different rules, and different objectives is what makes each game fun and interesting.

Letting Loose

Much of our human lives are already constrained with limits like gravity, or mortality, needing to eat sleep and work, so often we just want more time to let loose without rules, so that is why we have the other forms of play.


Imagine, to simulate reality or fantasy possibilities inside ones mind, believe it or not i find the mind can simulate and stimulate all these senses from inside itself, meaning, when the heart has absorbed enough energy, the mind can be like a virtual reality machine, creating experiences that feel almost repeal inside itself, like a dream, but with practice you can control your dreams, or even create something similar while you are awake. the power of imagination is a great tool for simulating reality, and it also has the power to imagine beyond reality, to explore things that ‘could be’ gaining types of freedom you body may not have.

Work Play/ Purpose Play, the play of making chores, the work you have to do (to keep society running) into fun, so you can enjoy them more and get through them easer, with energy to spare so you can enjoy the play of your choice afterward. in addition it’s always good to question which work you really do need to keep society running, and what is just ‘collective unconscious’ patterns of ‘false knowledge’ humans repeat in fear of not knowing what to do with their free time. this is a huge topic i will talk more about later. most ideally you can turn your work into your passion / vise versa, so the activities you love most are the activities that most benefit the world, that way you become like perpetual motion, creating and innovating in the world actually gives you energy, so you keep creating more and don’t run out (until your like 100 years old lol)

9 Varieties of Play

4) Take In


feelings sensations and energy inside the body usually sparked by an outside person place thing, or a thought or another feeling inside the body itself. also sparked by visuals, sounds, smells, etc.






enjoying all the types of energies and sensations that happen inside your body while you play, often prompted by inspiration / sensation from the outside world, or also can be purely internal at times (like when you dream or close your eyes and ponder/feel)

this is the play of witnessing something, an event, a person, a thing, a place, a flower, a tree, the natural beauty of life and the world.. too often witnessing is seen as purely passive or uninvolved, witnessing is not given credit for the amount of activity that happens inside the body as we witness something that touches us emotionally. witnessing if a fundamental and underrated play type, that allows us to relax and receive energy for a change in a world that gets stuck in the mode of producing and giving, to point of self sacrifice. in witnessing or ‘take in’ play we receive and nourish the energies and needs of the body. take in play happens in conjunction with all the other types of play, we play with our bodies, interacting with the external world, and we feel something inside our bodies as we do this. and both the external and internal energetic reactions flow in and out together in a harmony, it is important that both happen together or felt in back and froth. often we get too focused on one or the other, just navel gazing internal reflection, or external people pleasing with a loss of our own emotions and relaxed self. we need to find the rhythm of both.

take in play is important, a huge category that is often overlooked, because it happens inside the body on an energetic level where our eyes can’t see it, it is primarily felt. and it is not selfish, it is essential in listening to people, fully ‘taking in’ what they are saying, and in our own well being. as they say ‘love yourself to love others’. this helps give a bit more description about the meaning of that phrase. play for me shows me ‘how’ to love myself. as well as receiving light energy, like sunlight, and biophotons, or residual human energy.

Share: sharing play is ‘take in’ or witnessing play that is shared by two people, also highly important bonding experience. to witness something together. such as we both went to the park, and we both witness the beauty of this same great tree, and saw the rare bird that landed on it.

listening is part of take in play, and is essential in conversation between people, while one person is speaking or engaging in language play, it is essential that the other person is doing ‘take in’ play, listening to what the first person is saying, visualizing it, taking it in, then the two people alternate roles. speaker becomes listener. giver becomes receiver. it is important that we listen or ‘take in’ the other persons story/ words in an enjoying way, this is not selfish, or slow, we must take our time to ‘take in’ what they say. the act of ‘take in’ is where we get our fuel for all the other types of expressive play. that silent witnessing is essential and not a passive un-outgoing trait. it is important that we ‘take in’ the persons story, not the words, but the essence of there story that we relate to, as they speak, and that we not worry about what our response will be, as people too often do when talking. people over focus on what their spoken response will be because we think the material outward play is all that matters, we don’t see that feeding the internal energy body with deep listening, pausing, relaxing, is -equally- essential. conversation thrives when we alternate between ‘take in’ listening to the persons story, or ‘verse’ as i call it, -and- then moving to language play / music play, play you speak and express with you body,

the alternation of receiving play, and expressing play, similar to breething in, and breathing out, like verses in a song, is essential in play or conversation between people, to cultivate the growing bond.

We grow up thinking conversation is like school work, when really it is much more like -music-. it is all about rhythm and harmony, and playing, speaking, creating, interacting for the pure felt joy of it, it’s what ever and when ever feels good, it’s about doing whatever you want, more then it isn’t, because that makes others feel good too. it’s doing what you feel. it’s often random. but it’s not over focused on material pleasures like eating mountains of cake, it’s bout energetic satisfaction, it’s about enjoying the energetic field, the atmosphere of fun and harmony and people.

5) Random Play: so often play has totally random origin, and this is essential. we wait, hours days and life times we wait, just for someone to tell us what to do. why won’t my dreams come true yet? maybe in 5 more years that girl will go out with me. no. it will never happen. the big secret is you don’t have to wait a single moment. when you use the right portion of randomness to grow your play, you can create fun right out of thin air. the fabric of our universe, at the base level everything is quantum foam, a random dance of wild vibrating particles. i like the phrase ‘wild compassion’ because i see living beings as being part ‘wild’ part ‘compassion’. half animal, half angel. the ‘wild’ is the martial side. life is a constant flood of random material information, chaos. yet all these random disorganized things in life can be converted into vital meaningful energy as though with the snap of your fingers. you just have to see it as -play-. it rains, i can tell a story about something good that happened to me in the rain. i see a picture on the wall, it reminds me of a weird girl i half dated, that improves my mood. better play is often intentional, basket balls that are carefully crafted to be basket balls for just the right bounce and light weight touch for the game. but as you play basket ball, all the random factors, the force of the wind, the sunlight, effect the ball, effect your mood, it’s random, but it is also meaningful, because no 2 games are the same, each day is full of subtly different factors, putting you in a position that you have to adapt each day, for a different experience of the game of life. instead of seeing random events as a hindrance, i see it as something that will give a new twist to my day or week, make it unlike any other. that that variety fuels my energy in the long run. without all that random different stuff going on in the universe, the day gets boring, and we all actually lose energy! sometimes all you have to do is control things less, and fun just starts appearing out of no where! it wants to happen. it can be scary at first not to plan everything, but when you learn to go with the fun opportunities that appear, you see that they have a rhythm, and unseen yet real energy field, a safety net that holds you in them, in the experience of play and the magnetic joining of people. when you can’t think of anything to say, but it feels like silence isn’t right either, you go with random. we think random is meaningless. yet it is actually -essential-, is what so many people never get. randomness is the makeup of the universe, and randomness is great fun! when there is a moment that feels missing something, whenever there is, i go with something random, it comes from somewhere, maybe something reminded me of it, maybe it was something we were talking about an hour ago, a day ago, maybe it’s something cool i was waiting for a good time to mention, it can get more basic, random colors, random feelings, focusing on something fresh in your mind feels good, it’s whatever pops into my mind, something around me probably made me think of it, but it’s not important that i know that, now that i have it, i feel a little better, and i turn it into part of the conversation, something slightly related to previous topics, or a totally new topic, (remember the alternative is not thinking of anything to say at all when you may really want to) it doesn’t have to be something all that smart, often the best roots of creativity and connection between people are simple, basic, a simple feeling, being captivated by a color, a sound, a few notes of music, something pleasant. energy is simple, but our eyes can’t see wave energy, so we always overlook it! we need it. now that you have this new random thing in your mind, see if you can speak it some how.

Leading by making Decisions

random play is about taking from a series of equally good or decent options, and choosing one. not waiting for someone else to tell you what you want to do. not needing a ‘cool friend’ to follow around at the party to do all the talking and start conversations for you. understating the power of being a little random, gives you the edge, it makes the difference that makes you the leader, and not just a follower. it’s recognizing that the world really is full of randomness, people want action, and it doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to feel good! random play is often a great go to strategy to make a decision. someone has to keep the action going, if not you their will be more long pauses of boredom, then people will learn not to look to you for anything, you become cemented as the follower. randomness is not being afraid to act without a reason. notice that randomness can feel good in your life. for me randomness is like exposing the code to the universe, all along i thought people were these orderly logic directed beings.. but often it’s the opposite, we are directed by feelings, desires, that are often the opposite of what we say we want, we all seek emotional satisfaction that comes through quantities of light energy we get through other people, and we seek entertainment, and chaos can be very entertaining. I spent my life trying to appeal to the logical minds of people.. and it’s fruitless.. you must appeal to the heart, and the heart wants fun, and fun is wild, random, unpredictable, and even selfish, rather by putting the self first, you end up benefiting others the most too. the heart needs randomness because the universe is largely random, it is mostly quantum chaos, and empty space. the visible world is very deicing, because matter and the things we see, only make up a small percentage of our universe. we spend our lives acting like we are reacting to permanent separate and still objects and people, but really that is a thin vail our eyes can perceive, really underneath it’s true nature is a dancing whirlwind, a chaos of energy and a race to escape the nothingness of the void. the heart wants meaning, but most of that meaning has to be foraged from random materials, that’s what we’re working with.


Enjoying Standing Out, Thriving in the Weirdness and Uncertainty

There’s something big to be said for enjoying the weirdness of it all. Not being afraid to stand out or ‘look weird’ in public. Even thriving off the attention, even the little odd unpredicted moments. there’s a lot of random chaos in life, and learning to stand in it, and enjoy it, among people, is a great asset. i used to ware very plain clothing because i felt uncomfortable with too many people noticing me, going back to some middle school thing about being teased.. but that’s over. What i didn’t see was that I was actually denying myself a lot of energy. I was never caught looking ‘weird’ or off guard, yet i was actually waisting energy running from what is essentially a ‘bluff’, a false threat, even if a girl rejected me, or something points out something insulting to me now, i am really not effected that much, the fear of teasing was disconnecting me from so much social energy, it’s not even funny, it’s better to be with the group, even if you get a weird comment thrown at you now and then, it’s just ignorance, i see now it’s not worth missing out on all the good people and good energy that is in many social groups, and with time i have gotten better at attracting the types of people that are my ‘peers’, not having to just ‘settle for whatever’ like a barrage of subtle arrogance or insults, i find by spending more time going out to meetups for example and being around groups, i am much more relaxed and much less likely to attract the sort of people that drop insult implications on you. Now i enjoy wearing bright colors or clothing with interesting deigns or patterns, because it attracts that attention, and that’s real energy and it feels good. And it doesn’t have to mean everyone is talking to you, it’s subtle attention, and there is a lot of energy to be gained in that. You don’t have to over do it either, it doesn’t really have to be crazy like Mysteries (the pickup artist) ‘Peacocking’. Even just a bit of color, variety, style, has energy benefits and attractive qualities.


Guilt and Regret is not Worth it

When you make a choice you have to fully see it though, enjoy it and believe it can work, if you worry about what you ‘could have’ done, that sense of worry or guilt effects your ability to enjoy the choice you made, so it becomes biases, it seems like the choice you made is less good. if it really turns out not to be good, then you’ve learned and that is positive. let go of negative thoughts, try not to do too many things at once. make a choice to go somewhere and then really enjoy being there. then afterwords you can reflect on the experience. so be careful your not being in 2 places at once in a ‘that could have been better kind of way’. for example maybe everyone is telling you ‘this event is the ‘right thing’ to do’ but you need time for yourself that hasn’t been met. when you take that time for yourself, don’t spend too much time wondering ‘maybe there’s yet some other innovative way i can make this work even though it goes against my needs’ you have to trust to some degree that you know yourself and keep things simple.

Unspoken Dialogue

Their is always an unspoken dialogue between people. it’s part of the ‘take in’ play, the play of shared witnessing. just by you laughing, when you are doing something together with people, they will intuit to some degree why you laughed. you can convey a lot without words. too many people just focus on the words, or they do have the unspoken connection, but no idea they are doing it, it is just totally intuitive for them, and they can’t tell another person how to have the same skill. but it is possible to have it all with practice and an open mind. just by physically being around people and focusing on positive emotions. both these things together, is essential. you form an energetic resonance with them. most conversation is grounded in and begins in this invisible cultivation of energy that -dose not- require words. this unspoken dialogue is best though of as a bio-electromagnetic field that grows between people over time, or biophotons. subtle bio-energy that circulates between living beings when they gather and powers life.

Learning through Experience

trusting subconscious intuitive memory

& heart memory

often the random thoughts or observations, like a ‘random generator’ going all the time in it’s own relaxed periodic rhythm, is something that benefits you -first- as play should be. you have to put your joy and wellbeing first, so others can get the benefit of your genuine company. the random observations are where i get my best material. i see the face of an actor or politician on tv, and it reminds me of a loved movie, or a think that person did that everyone is talking about. this is another category, ‘collective jokes’ some jokes, funny or interesting news, is just in the atmosphere. the internet helps in finding this, what’s poplar this week. i am randomly reminded of one of these ‘collective jokes’ (jokes that are new or popular in the public consciousness) from the combination of the thing/person i saw just now, and the random thing it trigger in my mind, now i have that random thing, a joke, it doesn’t have to be brilliant or never said before. usually as long as it’s the first time i’ve said it today or this week, it is funny because everyone wants to hear something funny, it doesn’t have to be genius. and when you get better at it it become easy to put new twits on things. it has to be something people can relate to on a feeling emotion level. they remember the ‘feeling’ of the person you mention, the joke about that person, the way that person or movie made them feel, you trigger feelings in other people just by mentioning something, and this strengths the feeling bond. the mutual ‘take in’ play resonance. so that joke is random, the think that inspired it is semi-random, yet both come from a pool, a bracket of topics and things my subconscious brain knows people will relate to or might know about. the less you think about it or try, the easer it is for your brain to remember without having to try. it’s not supposed to take effort. it is the fun itself and feeling of joy that encodes memories. so my brain over time has built up a huge collection of topics and fun-sparking words people will relate to, fun funny, interesting, or meaningful. it’s a huge collection, and just by wanting it my mind will recall one randomly, or generate something new from random stimulus. do not worry about memorizing stuff, this creates stress, stops the fun. it’s all about fun. just start with whoever random joy based things come into your mind, see if they make you feel better. then see if the joy thing you thought of helps you think of a conversation topic, if it can be brought into the convo somehow.

Seeing past the matrix of false beliefs

Questioning basic Assumptions

collective ignorance

a lot of these stuff turns out to be frighteningly simple, like ‘oh, that makes sense’, when you see how complex you’ve been making it this entire time.. but that’s just the problem is that so many large groups of people go about communication in an overly complicated way that we are convinced this is the right way, deeply convinced, so that it is hard to accept how simple it can be. and not being able to see this wave light resonating energy between people with our 2 eyes makes it all seem mysterious and esoteric. but it is actually very simple. while some things may turn out to be intuitively simple, true to your feeling, like ‘of course’, this may actually also mean accepting some pretty profound things about our universe.

At every step of the way their will be people trying to convince you that things need to be more complicate then they are. even after you find success, they will still try to convince you the tedious way is better, because this is -all they have ever known-! even after you find success they wouldn’t be able to share the free insights you give them, because they are so deeply used to doing things the hard way! it’s hard to comprehend that so many of the beliefs of global society can be flat out wrong! that herd mentally is powerful, and pulls us into believing things we don’t even realize we believe.

False beliefs often have a degree of truth in them, they allow us to ‘get by’, and it’s the reason they hold on and stick around.. they have certain advantages, -yet- they prevent us from gaining something even better.

Forcing my body to work and to ’be confident’ gets it working, yet the lifestyle of self forcing all the time doesn’t get my body working well, it becomes a life of hollow actions without feeling behind them.

Not looking at or talking to strangers gives me safety, yet it prevents me from harnessing all the much greater energy of the community.

Flow Energy,

the multiplying exponentially growing energy of the continued flow of play.

energy of play builds in flow, and that energy multiplies, doing the same thing, like art project or walking for a period of time is good because it builds the energy of flow, the unbroken growing cultivation, the joining streams of energy getting stronger over time.

at the same time variety is good. so you are often balancing your need for flow, with your need for variety. taking breaks. doing different things. getting back in the zone with a particular favorite endeavor.

Learning something Without Realizing you haven’t really Learned it

it takes time to explore all the different ways you can play, you can’t learn it all in one month, their are so many combinations, ways to gather people, or just ways of enjoying yourself, you can’t let people tell you play doesn’t matter, because it takes hours to cultivate the full power of theses vital world changing energies, there isn’t a more important thing to to. and it takes months and years after you understand play and human energy is important, for you to truly explore and become experienced with all the different ways you can play and unite people in play, all the types and modes and play, your personal rhythm, you have to really understand how essential your own wellness is, the effect it has on others, when you understand that, you become devoted to it, the wellness that is created when people/parties of people gather. and you continue making subtle changes over the months and years, playing in different ways every day in part because that is what play is, but also actually improving or evolving the way you play, you can get better, finding your rhythm, after looking at the world this way for a while, you get better at intuiting peoples needs and thoughts. recognizing tell tale patterns that inhibit peoples natural play state. knowing what thoughts set you off.. what places make you feel great.. you get better over time, and it’s all subconscious, it has to be, you trust your heart to take it in, to learn it though real life real time experience, so you don’t pause to think about every little thing, you just know, because the feeling tells you, you’ve been there before. you don’t even have to know why you know, that’s just a crutch, the needing to know, you will feel it. feel the future, to sound poetic about it. it is important that your skills improve as part of the play itself, meaning it doesn’t take effort. it exists to enhance the flow. i don’t memories 1000 little tricks. everything i know is 100% experience, from being out in life, and trying suability different things each day after day, not even thinking about it, because thinking about it isn’t using your heart. when you can actually hear your own thoughts, your not thinking any more, that’s just a hard loud chamber of fear echoes, it’s not actually really ‘thinking’. it’s more like ‘i’m trying to relax myself because all societies bullshit is making be stress and afraid even if i’m so used to it i don’t realize it’. in truth i believe important information is all recorded by the heart as feelings.  like a good computer, it’s all fast smooth, and automatic, totally natural, without effort. all you have to do is experience life, and your heart and brain recored all the important information without you trying. (of course nothing is perfectly black and white. at times stoping to ask your bring something, your brine might have an answer your heart just isn’t ready to feel, and only your brain can kick in with the hard rational truths in this part of your life your mind knows yet your heart isn’t ready for. so their are exceptions to many things) but so often in our society we are brought up memorizing ever little thing. and we don’t trust our intuitive mind at all. “our society worships the slave and doesn’t trust the master” – Einstein said, referring the creative mind as the master.

Release Play

To compliment the play of ‘take in’ play varieties of music, language, movement, and art are a ‘release play’, they are the play of ‘setting something free’ inside and out from the body that wants to be -expressed-. trying to hold it still, hold it in, it’s healthy. this expression or release, or ‘set free’ play, is also essential, and too often we do think we have to hold it in for fear of societies misguided rules and values that don’t actually promote health on the community level. our culture forces people to sit still for hours and days, stemming from the fact that we don’t know what else to do on the community level so we follow the larger example blindly in fear, that larger example having no guarantee to be right. we must learn that it is essential to ‘set free’ our need to play, to move, and shake, our bodies, and dance, and mingle, just on the felt impulse or whim, to always allow the natural desire for movement and not feel the need to hold it in to be ‘proper’. just by getting up and moving we set free so many more opportunities for relationships and friendships that can’t happen when we spend hours of our day sitting still in rows or alone. it is important that humans be totter in the the same room, yet move around freely, this movement seeming almost ‘random’ according to our standards today, yet this moment is actually deeply purposeful and healing because it is releasing our cellular need to move ourselves and engage with the world in a real tactile felt way. we must listen to our need to move, both -subtle movement- and broader strides, you see people having ‘subtle moments’ all the time, and these are essential to our health, when someone puts a hand on their head, stretches an arm behind their back, all these subtle movements are essential because they release tensions, they attract positive energy attention of others, almost like a ‘subtle dance’, they release the felt needs of the heart, and importantly they show that we are being in constant motion, i don’t have to run 5 miles a day to show that i am healthy, even what you might call a ‘natural’ or ‘graceful’ fidget, a subtle stretch, hop of glee, a reposition of the body, stretching both arms back, stretching the spine, just because it feels good and not because ‘you should’ all these little movements feed our constant need for subtle moment. too often we hold still all day, then spend 1 hour with intense running or work out, this is most unnatural and we wonder why we have tight as rock stiff / sore muscles the next day or lactic acid buildup… Really the body thrives in a state of constant subtle motion, with broader bigger motions also happening in a rhythmic regular way though the day, like simply walking across a room (which we sometimes disregard as important when we still still at a desk job not moving for 7 hours, even just breaking it up with some kind of movement every 20 minutes helps, when you listen to your body and feel the befit of this rhythmic moving, you won’t have to think about it methodically), even thoughts and feelings are part of this motion. the motion of energy inside the body. larger movements like walking and running also come from a feeling place. i talk a lot about subtle motion here because it is something vital we don’t give its due or credit to really at all in our society. so move and play! subtle moment, notice those little movements other people make, and you make during your day, and realize it is not random! it is part of the healing.

There are cultures were people will be hit for these types of ‘subtle movements’ that can be considered ‘out of line’, or where it is not custom to make eye contact with men and women or strangers, basic cultural behaviors can often simply be wrong so to speak, but they have this matrix (the movie) like effect in that we don’t question them or notice they are there.

Variety: all the forms of play are all about variety, the play of switching between different flavors, colors, etc, and the play of switching between different types of play.

Layered play: the play of combining and recombining different types of play.

the most sophisticated multilayered kind of play. this play is about the many layers.this is the play of evolved minds, the play of humans. the play of many layers.

Surprise: play is all about something new, something different something fresh. the play of the unexpected. just by enjoying one thing, it means you are not doing something else, and thus you are creating distance and time for that other thing to feel new and different again. while you are at the mall.. you are enjoying yourself there, and forgetting the sensations of being on the beach.. so when you finally get back to the beach, it really feels like a fresh and different experience, because you are not their every hour or every day. knowing this helps because i know if i get board of a particular activity, all i have to do is leave it for a few hours, a few days, do something else, and when i come back, that activity i love will be fun again, i will have fresh reined love for it. too often we live life in a melancholy wondering why things that used to make us happy don’t any more. it’s because we find one thing we love, and then we sap the ‘play value’ out of it by doing it too long. we don’t alternate our activities enough for the sake of enjoyment. we get addicted to the specific ’material’ of something, because we don’t understand the varieties of play, and how to use the act of play to create energy from ourselves and all things. take note of the thing you love, then find something different, then come back to the first thing, then try the first think in different ways. always recombining different things and ways of playing in different ways.

6) Art,



location of things, color, often visual, contrast, variety, balance, the aesthetically pleasing and organize location of objects and furniture in space helps the flow of energy. just as a beautiful painting that conveys emotion is more pleasing and uplifting then a splotch of mud. even art that appears random often has an emotion it conveys, stimulating the play and sensory feeling circuits inside the body of those who witness the art. art is a visual language, and a language of physical objects and gestures, which our eyes can see. while music is a language of sound, unseen to the eye, yet just as powerful. looking at a painting, taking in the beautifully of a landscape, this is the play of ‘art’. it’s important to set up your house to have an aesthetic just as you would paint a painting, or write a article in a way that catches the readers interests.

Object Play: playing with things, objects, toys, props, dolls, play weapons. play objects also become a focal point for attention and energy and play possibilities even before or weather or not you pick them up. play usually tends to involve and interaction with an object of some kind, or the environment, so this is an attribute that applies to most varieties of play, that play involves objects, play is an interacting between things and people, or people and people.

7) grow/Empower, Suspense

spending, healing, the play of changing the world. bringing cultural change to large places.

possibly a sub category of ‘move’ because it relates to distance. suspense details with much longer distances that move.

all play emerges from a dormant or suspended state, released from the fabric of the universe that binds it.

manifesting empowerment in people can be seen as the act of sharing skills that release ‘suspense’ or tension.

we are all born into some degree of suspension or tension and fulfillment in life is learning the ways to release that tension. however counterintuitively the tension itself is what created the joy of release.. while often their is an imbalance or surpluss of tension in our world, there are times when we do want to crease suspense, like the suspense of the journey that builds to a desertion, the suspense in a game, a mystery, a good tv show. simply creating suspesen or delay adds to the reward or unveiling later on. it creates depth and dimension. this is the mysterious play, the spiritual experience, the rewarding feeling at the end of a long long journey you didn’t think you could survive. the play we don’t see, the illusive, the chills of transformation experience, touching the divine. it is the play of shadows, of challenge, pushing the limits. empowerment is the opposite or the release of suspense, yet the two may actually create eachtoehr if you look beyond the universe itself. a person wise beyond this world might say taking a wound, is, being empowered.

our universe is not a ’neutral zone’ and can be considered a giant dome of ‘suspense play’. everything is a challenge that tests our limits. a quest for survival and to discover the mysteries of life. we are so used to this subtle challenge that pulls on us that we don’t realize it is there. very real challenges pull on us every day. calling it ‘suspense play’ is a kind way of putting it. there may be other universe where this isn’t so. you could say we are suspended beneath a heavy piece of anti-matter. our universe is a suspense dome that spans 46.5 billion light-years at least, it appears infinite, yet our universe is a place defined more by it’s constraints then it’s freedoms. so i pose that it is not infinite, but simply extremely large. it is possible to stretch the fabric of our dome universe, so this constraint may lose its meaning.

8) Compete,

the thrill of testing your skills against another, not a way of life, but fun now and then. too often this is the only type of play we know as adults. it is more of a subset then a primary way of play.

9) Touch,










most and many activities usually combine a few or many different types of play at once, for example:

move + art + suspense = adventure

the physicality of moving your body, the suspense of the long journey, the distance traveled, and the art, the beauty of the visual landscape, your reward, combine to create the experience we all know as ‘adventure’ a composite of many types of play. you can also include the internal ‘take in’ body sensations, the feeling of aliveness, but ‘take in’ these internal feelings happen in combination will all types of play, so are not unique to adventure.

Modes of Interpersonal Play

play is usually between people, but can happen individually. when people gather play and energy possibilities multiply in a major way. but alone time does have it’s place and importance too.

the 9 varieties of play can each be experience in a few different modes between people.

Parallel, Together Alternating, Together Witnessing, Individual

Alternating = 2 or more people exchange in a back and forth of play

Witnessing = we witness the same thing, like a third person, a third thing different from the 2 or more players. 2 or more people share the act of witnessing an event or the play of another(s).

Parallel = multiple people sit near each other, yet play on their own almost as though alone, with games, art, projects, things, yet as they play they enjoy the subtler or residual benefits of each others company, connections and positive feelings still building, sometimes exchanging a laugh.

All forms and modes of play follow the rule:

Be with others, play for your heart

Too often social play turns into ‘entertaining’ one person places themes as the ‘enteraitrer’ at the other persons judgment and expense. genuine play counterintuitively involves being near others yet putting your enjoyment and wellbeing first in many ways, enjoying yourself so others can enjoy being with you.

Even after you have felt the real power of play and human energy in your life, for me there were still assumptions, beliefs i did not even realize i was making that held me back, preventing me from realizing the full power of play. such as i used to think play was mostly about doing specific activities, but i didn’t realize how much my own thoughts and feelings are part of that playful experience, and how i can use them to cultivate much richer experiences of play.

Play doesn’t have to be about burning up all your physical energy in rigorous sports and work out like i used to think, if i enjoy a sport now, i enjoy what i’m feeling now, i’m less concerned about winning, and i go at my own rhythm and pace, yet this actually makes me more coordinated, and more likely to win if i feel i want to. now even watching a movie or tv can be a way to cultivate energy, society taboos it as lazy, yet this is sort of a myth, for me a lot of the real play is a mellow or relaxed cultivation of energy in the body. it’s more about receiving an experience then it is forcing out energy to appeal to others. counterintuitively by culturing energy at your own pace, you gather something that is attractive to others, that illusive charisma or sex appeal that i could never seem to get before no matter what i did. because it’s not about what you do, it’s about cultivating a feeling, thus energy. people will say ‘what do you mean you’re watching a movie to gain energy? don’t you have to use will power to earn success’ we have to break societies myths and not just accept things because they are repeated to us. in a fair universe hard work might equal success, but our universe is not a fair one, and maybe that makes it fun in a way.

Human civilization is an intricate system, and we have to learn just how to work it, you can learn exactly where the right buttons are, and restructure our world around an architecture of play! that’s why life is a constant change, a constant process of questioning, and adapting. sometimes asking enough of the right small questions suddenly blows open a huge door you didn’t even notice what their. sometimes change means accepting things about ourselves we didn’t want to, but truths that seem uncomfortable at first pay off big time! lean from you mistakes and feel know shame in having been wrong at all! don’t identify with it, it’s not your fault what you didn’t know! (for me assuming our Universe was of course the primary one was an assumption it didn’t even occur to me i was making, and that effects the way i think, i would start all my thoughts with the assumption that our reality is the main reality all other realities are based around, and even that may not be true! huge assumptions we don’t even realize we are making! we can assume or Universe is the only universe, or that it is an important universe. the way the earth is not the center of the solar system and the sun is not the center of the universe.. as people used to think.. i have a theory that our -entire universe- is not the strongest point of gravity, nor is it the metaphysical center of an infinitely dimensional Nirvana, but perhaps something closer to a pimple in a much lager world that obeys laws that are nearly opposite to the laws of our world..(i came to this through process of elimination.. in my book ‘Inverse Theory’) but honestly you don’t need to thinking about all that now.) we assume our world is the ‘main reality’ and that such a main reality is ‘fair’ that things are as they appear.. and i see these assumptions greatly limiting peoples options to what they can and can’t do every day. many people might not trust a sick person to give them wisdom, because in a fair world a wise person might not be sick.. we think people are pushed because they deserved it, when it is almost always the opposite. unfairness is built into the very laws of physics. death is random, there is so much luck that determines every life. we see it, yet we don’t fully register it, part of us doesn’t believe it, thinks we are above it.

(For example in this ‘Larger World’ or Over World, what we call outer space in the distance, would instead be a white, or rainbow, ‘everythingness’ people and objects instead of being made of zillions of brittle little atoms and molecules (these atoms are full of energy that vibrates and cycles around at rates so fast you could consider it to be ‘explosive’ in a way there is a lot of inherent subtextual violence in the very building blocks of our world), would look similar, yet be made of one pure mass of light energy, with infinite depth like its own other dimension. some things would look hauntingly similar to how they look in our universe, yet their physical make up would be 100% different, just made of pure light, yet behaving it ways that defy what we’ve come to know as ‘physics’, people there would like so beautiful, that people we used to think were beautiful on earth, would look deformed. what we call ‘physics’ are more like principals of living inside of a void. outside our world, in the ‘Over World’ our universe might look something like a shady puddle you can fall into, like quicksand. not strong enough to pull you in, but you can choose it for the adventure. many things in the Over World are similar to how they are here, just larger, more expansive more realized versions of them. higher highs, as well as some darker depths even. But the one striking mark of the Over World is that everything begins in life, and returns to life. Where in our world, everything begins in death, and returns to death. the over world has mountains and clouds and flying cities, it’s not a world of no rules, nor a place of white feathered angels and strtic pure ideology, it’s a wild party of freedom, some places have more rules, some places have less. honestly i have no attachment to ‘hopes’ or whatever, it’s just interesting to think about this place as a mirror world, that fills in the necessary gapes to a master equation i’ve been piecing together my entire time on earth. you can infer something from it’s absence, and slowly connect the dots. honestly i feel like a know more then i want to, its more power then i’m used to, at least in terms of the power of the written word, and sometimes i leave my writing unfinished intentionally. In the Over World what some call God is obvious and impossible to ignore, you are drawn to her without control or reason, like the force of nature and eternity, and you become her and access all her limitless power. Where on earth you can deny god or any supernaturally unifying forces for your entire life and say that you are correct in a way to do so.

After death you learn that most souls of earth are not evil, it is material suffering that distorts them and forces them into what they are not, actually increasing their goodness in a way through the unreal trials. all souls soon after acquire the power of God, which is relative to the power every other soul gained from their journey, it’s not a competition, it’s about sharing experiences, and enjoying the release. death is the ultimate orgasm, when decades of suffering is released into free space. which sort of implies the greater your suffering the greater your orgasms and power will be after you die and enter the Over World.. however there is a hidden catch or evil in this, that if you seek too much suffering, you end up chasing hypothetical benefits in the future, and create an infinite loop of suffering. after death you return to earth to seek more suffering to seek out the same high you felt the first time you died, from a suffering that was never intended in the first place. it may be the unintended suffering that produces a greater high. but in the end the high is short term power, and not the lasting strength we really were seeking all along. it’s sort of illusory, like a trick of mirrors. it apersa like something is there, then it flickers away. the tale of the trixter God who became entranced by the dancing light at the center of a void.)

I feel like success in life is about cultivating these different types of play energy over hours and days, until you just glow with it, and are naturally changeling good energy into the community, uniting the community, a lot of it actually seems obvious to me now, but society really teaches us to value material accomplishments over our own energetic wellbeing. we value abstract things that don’t make sense at all because it is so routine, so common in the larger society. like the idea that pain benefits our physical health.

Another big one is that society has a real hard on for the brain. when most of my success has been about discovering the power of the heart, the human heart is the real powerhouse for most of our energy. i find the mind functions best as the tool of the heart, the heart is like the sun, the battery, and the mind is the software. our society builds a shit tone of software for the brain, but doesn’t feel the battery at all.

And by ‘society’ i really just mean the collective unconscious, large groups of people following previous generous of people following previous generations of people that don’t know what they are doing, but it creates the illusion that we know, because that makes us feel safe, in other words it is about fear behavior of humans and animals on mass scales, under the guise of illusion of ‘knowledge.’

Often it doesn’t help to call people out all the specific times you see them doing this unhelpful behaviors, because they will just see it as ‘truth’, ‘clear facts of life’, the best think you can do is to notice it, and not be pulled into it, to know it isn’t truth. this is about letting go of pride, and that give you a lot of power, you know that you have an edge by cutting out unhelpful patterns others might not question, but your not bragging about it. you have to let go of your desire to be right, to be recognized or given credit for the time being. it can be hard to see other suffer if you think you have something that can help. but the only way to change their beliefs, is to slowly create a shift through practicing or ‘playing’ the varieties of play in your daily life. fighting peoples beliefs on the brain or ‘software’ level just plays into societies problems. Play has to be felt and cultivated on the heart level, the heart to heart level, as an experience. it’s about holding back what you know and waiting to the right moment when it is emotionally ready to be understood. for now, just play!

Working too Hard? (excessive exercise, excessive meditation, ‘social skills’, & over self sacrifice)

Yeah this is the big one. Lots of time is spent sitting still at work, even in free time we keep working, reaching for distant dreams. We become molded by a pervasive culture of stress, stillness, and drain. It’s all around us, but we can’t see it, it’s just ‘normal’.

It’s not just what we’re doing, but if we enjoy doing it. One can enjoy life even when the body is seemingly still on the surface, your thoughts feelings internal energy can rise. Yet enjoyment is not an easy thing to learn. Sometimes it takes courage just to enjoy and be ourselves if it’s not the common way around us.

Meditation is one method of drawing attention to the present, yet one has to be carful; We keep focus on a ‘still clear present’ mind during the day. But not a fun mind, not a creative mind. Problems could be right in front of us, but we miss them because we’re stiff, too still, drained. (there is a lot of promotion of “stillness”, meditation, clear mind, and leaving it at that without also mentioning the other side, how stillness can become a drain without enjoyment, a playful perspective of life) Ironically over-focused attention leads to dry energy, it stops being fun, we don’t feed our bodies, and we actually miss things. We are still and we miss the fun, we loose energy. More and more people meditate, but now you have all this stiffness, dry energy. A body that remains still for too long, actually starts to loose energy. An enlightenment that never comes. A master could come and say ‘these mediators still have ego, they just don’t get it yet’ but maybe the problem is that so many meditators are ‘too dedicated’. Matter is always in motion, but that gets forgotten. Subtle but powerful, staying true to natural motion seems scary. My body wants to move or have fun, but I don’t understand why, I feel like I need an explanation or reason to justify my actions before others.

Joy/uplift and social connection/fun is a bit more ‘dynamic’ but dynamic seems scary, so it’s easy to follow the herd, we just end up sitting there and sitting there. or working and working with diminishing returns. herd mentality support of mediation blindspots that even this has a dark side. That relaxing in a fundamental way, involves enjoying, letting loose. Social fun isn’t something that’s not as easy as it sounds. It gets forgotten. Perhaps healthy fun is the hardest lesson, we should teach or role model.

Not to mention all the ‘get fit’ stuff, singular or excessive focus on exercise, with no inclusion of the energetic body.  I myself can get fit while lounging in the park, siting in a restaurant; WHAT yes: just feeing off the laughter merriment and light energy of people around me. Good feelings+experience give my body a physiological benefit.

I used to just wait and wait for the food to come, only focused on the pleasure sensors in my brain. Now I’m enjoying a myriad of subtle energy sources and finding play in everything, the conversation. Feeding light energy to the physical cells of my heart. I go to the gym too sometimes, but because it’s fun, adventure.

Maybe I’m diligently doing yoga or meditating every morning, but I’m not simply enjoying my self, my life in general. My body builds muscles, but on the cellular and energetic level / internally, I’m becoming stiff. Drying out. Because I’m not enjoying myself. Not feeding the energetic body, the light/photon energy in my cells. What’s going on inside your heart and body matters. Fun feeds the cells, but how do you quantify fun? To the heart having fun feels easy and satisfying, but around people we forget this at times, we start looking for a more cut and dry answer, then something as simple as fun, becomes illusive. The answer is in the heart. Fun feels good. We are constantly reliving a myriad of energies around us. Enjoying the good perceptions feelings and sensations, more good feelings build. Creating vibrational genesis that creates actual energy.


People running and lifting, the same routine each day months and years, but a lonely exhausted heart remains, you get great muscles, big muscles, tight abbs, but look down to the cellular level, and there is no energy, vita, life force. There are so many other more dynamic subtle ways to vitalize energy all around me if I simply notice and enjoy them.

Maybe I’m a confidence coach and I’m teaching people to be confident. We are trained to ’speak up’, talk ‘louder’. We form association that being connected and forcing effort are the same thing. We learn a series of ‘social skills’ without also taking into account what we feel. Subtle feelings of connection that build. Noticing if we feel afraid in the gaze of others. If we enjoy looking at each other. So much of current teaching can just be external action without the other, the feeling.

Maybe I work at a soup kitchen and I’m being ‘of service’ for spiritual gain/reason. … I’m putting in the hours and work — and yet, unknown to me, 1. I don’t feel worthy of eye contact/ ‘hanging around’ people just because, or 2. I don’t know how to find fun in what I do, I’m so used to feeling empty/stressed that I identify this as a good thing. .. Inside my body attention becomes magnetized to negative sensations that drains physical body energy keeping the body feeling negative/empty. We my sacrifice the self for others as way to fill the void. We get mixed results yet without a better solution we identify or justify negative signs as ‘progress’, ‘pain is gain’ total bull. So many things that can go wrong only focusing on the physical action without also the internal.

The Energetic Heart & Body

The body gives off a healing energy and exchanges energy with other humans even when we are doing or saying very little at all. The human body emits small measurable intensities of light, known as biophotons, from the eyes and skin. (Dr. Fritz-Albert Popp.) (Herbert Schwabl, Herbert Klima. Spontaneous ultraweak photon emission from biological systems and the endogenous light field.) Humans are constantly exchanging small amounts of light energy. This biolight is healing to ourselves and other people around us. Are bodies have a system for receiving biolight from each other, storing it in our cells and DNA. “Cellular damage can be virtually repaired, within hours, by faint beams of light.” (Popp) Biolight and other energies exchanged between people exist “just below our conscious perception.” (Rollin McCraty)


If someone is too focused on  achieving tangible goals or getting the approval of others they never notice their own inherent worth. Though we can’t see biolight particles with our eyes, we can act with an awareness of these energies and arrange more opportunity to simply receive their benefit. Biolight is a type of resource that can only come from being with people. The amount of light is seemingly small but the effect is significant over time. We don’t have to make an effort to produce it, because it is already  being produced.

Our eyes alone possess an incredible power to help others relax, feel safe; central in this naturally occurring light exchange between people.We allow ourselves to feel comfortable with various types of eye contact. I allow my eyes to move around and go where they want to go. It is important to know that we can take pressure off needing words to substantiate ourselves. So many modern modes of relation focus largely on intellectual concepts and words. The truth is we can in fact look at someone, anyone, in their eyes, without words needing to be exchanged, and this is vital and healthy. People just like the sense that someone is paying attention to them, they feel heard, it feels good and natural.  Biolight travels at the speed of light, though it takes the heart time to absorb it.  I believe it may also be able to effect people from long distances such as 100 feet. For example one can feel and benefit from the energy of an entire crowd. It may be more effective at closer distances. This may sound like turning love into science. Yet I believe that this awareness of our bodies may reduce suffering and enable us to thrive.

“Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

The Dalai Lama

The Heart plays a significant role in the body in addition to pumping blood. It is key in powering this energetic biolight system in the body. “The heart generates a powerful pressure wave that travels rapidly throughout the arteries much faster than the actual flow of blood.” (Rollin McCraty) “The magnetic component of the heart’s field, which is around 5000  times stronger than that produced by the brain, is not impeded by tissues (muscles, skin, organs) and can be measured several feet away from the body (with Superconducting Quantum Interference Device (SQUID) based magnetometers.)” (The Energetic Heart: Bioelectromagnetic Interactions Within and Between People Rollin McCraty, Ph.D.)   In addition to the brain, the heart and the gut actually contain neurons. This heart intelligence informs the brain more then was previously understood. Our feelings or intuition are an evolved decision making system. When we learn to trust our feelings without fear they can guide us to what is needed both individually and collectively. Feelings of the heart can actually be felt physically by other people near us. If someone has an anxious heart it can actually be uncomfortable for a person ten feet away if they are also anxious or in energetic drain. If someone is feeling a natural or un-efforting satisfaction, this can be felt and is attractive to someone ten feet away and more, and is also healing to another with an energetically drained heart. The energetically satisfied heart is not only less effected by anxiety of others it is healing to them. Without a full heart the mind is more easily encumbered by fear and self doubt. Constantly thinking in search of complex solutions, but never satisfied.  Physical contact, a touch on the shoulder, hugging, is also an important way of generating energy and connection with people. A socially isolated person may feel threatened by touch. Prolonged social isolation, stillness, and time in dismal environment is actually draining to the human body. Experiments on monkeys showed that if you remove a monkey from it’s environment; if you take a monkey away from the other monkeys, but continue to feed it, it will actually die. It was said that monkeys who were given a soft object to hug survived the social isolation, but they were still considerably weaker then the monkeys who remained in their natural habitat.  Social isolation will make someone physically week, fragile. In light of this we should move in at a general and gradual rhythm, adjusting differently depending on the person. Being cautious with an isolated person so they feel safe.

We can also exchange biolight with animals. It is possible that a larger person may emit more then a smaller person, a young man may emit more than a baby. The fully mature heart emits more. A happy person will emit more then a small cat (of similar emotional state). But a cat may emit more then a depressed person. At the same time babies and children will emit a lot because they instinctively know to make eye contact and feel free to play; social insecurity in society has not yet set in. Children and young people will often emit a lot of biolight because their bodies are very healthy and they feel free to express play (thus releasing the stress in their cells). Knowing about biolight and play can restore youth to a degree. We can use this awareness to get more out of relationship, and be with people that help us feel good.

I used to think that other people, girls I liked, peers I wanted to meet, ‘had the love,’ the ‘bright eyes’. We’ve all felt or seen it. I would sense it from people. All my life I was expecting the other person to ‘show the love’. I thought if someone didn’t that meant they didn’t like me. But now I see the ‘bright eyes’ more as a phenomena that arises between people. I was putting too much pressure on the other expecting it from them. It was never there’s to give. The ‘bright eyes’ is something that arises over time between two or more people.

This social benefit is essential to us all. We learn that we can simply receive this human light energy and over time our heart and cells are charged with it. We become ‘fulfilled’ ‘uplifted’ ‘naturally high.’ (Naturally Social)

Beings of Light

All forms and evolutions of life may be the expression of light trying to survive against decay. The light is the true self. The human, is a material thing that channels light to stay alive. Consuming other objects helps fuel the process of change. – Play – or having fun, is another way we repel decay, flowing with the process of change. As one thing decays or ‘is no longer fun’ we find something new that ‘is fun.’ Super Mario jumps from one block to the next as they fall from under his feet. Each block is a transient thing. The process of change itself is life. Light is the true eternal. The one thing we can receive that does not change. Love. Light is the expression of love in a material Universe.

Humans are like ‘fungus,’ strange beings that share light energy with each other to survive, in a world that decays. We are Gods sealed inside material things. The Sun, Trees, oxygen, water, provide the ecosystem that makes us, mammals, more dynamic life, possible. We walk, outside the primordial soup. Yet our material bodies belong to the Earth. It’s the circle of life; we live by relying on each other and our world. Inside a human are many strange bones and organs. We are material creatures that have evolved to survive chaos and decay, harnessing play, to our advantage, and light. Science describes entropy as the tendency of things to move towards increasing disorder. In a vast Universe, life is the exception. …Humans may have more potential for creativity then any creature before. A large body of light (a human) can repel decay, it acquires an ‘aura’. A depressed, socially isolated, or severely injured person has less ‘aura’ and becomes more vulnerable to all kinds of sensitivity and illness. Even this aura  doesn’t last forever.

Weather patterns, city buildings, bugs, animals, human beings, this is all the crazy journey of light to survive in the vacuum of space. Being inside the Universe means relinquishing your divine power to be ‘mortal.’ By flowing with the process of change or ‘play’ we reverse decay, for a time. We can thrive inside the material Universe. A being with the right awareness could enter the Universe and suffer much less then those before her. It’s a game, you can win you can lose. There are many ways to play. It’s not a fair game. “God does in fact play dice” to quote quantum physicists and contradict Einstein. Everyone is dealt random cards, that is how the game is played. Both order and chaos exist in this reality.


“Biophotons, or ultraweak photon emissions of biological systems, are weak electromagnetic waves in the optical range of the spectrum (i.e. light). All living cells of plants, animals and human beings emit biophotons. A photon is a single particle of light but is too faint to be seen by the naked eye. However, biophotons have been detected and verified using photomultiplier tubes. While a few organisms, such as certain deep sea fish, emit quite considerable intensities (thus being easily visible), much lower levels of light, which can just be detected with photomultipliers, can be found in all kinds of other living beings.”

Einstein was fascinated by light. He proved that matter is governed by the speed of light. …Humans channel light, in particular through their eyes. The eyes literally may be the window to the soul. There may be a direct connection between the eyes and the heart. Light is both emitted and received by the eyes, absorbed into the heart itself – and all the bodies cells. Humans, and other animals, convert light into biolight, and share this light with each other in order to survive. We call this love. Living creatures change the organization (or coherence) of light particles, photons, to support living systems; turning them into biophotons, a type of light energy that is suited particularly to generating life.

Light perhaps in it’s nature is infinite, but space-time (the Universe fabric) defines, or breaks it up, it into finite (limited) particles; or quantums of light. Photons. This world contains both Heaven and Hell. Light is heaven. Space is Hell. You can come to the Universe and have an experience of both, or just one or the other. It’s not about how good you are, but how aware you are. Many never find the awareness they need through no fault of their own. God (infinity) has been chopped up into a ~ googolplex (very large number) of tiny pieces, like someones giant Lego set. Both beautiful and dangerous to play with souls in this way. Shame on you God.

Our world is like an Anti-Verse. Death is the anti-God that rules here. Perhaps the true center of Divine is outside. Life, trees, plants, animals, humans, light itself, all expressions of the divine bleeding through into our world. Stem cells. Sperm cells. Eggs. These are the ‘acrobatics’ light does to survive within the space-time vacuum. It is a vacuum  in the sense that all light has been sucked out save the stars, us, everything else, the byproduct of star energy.   In a metaphorical sense you could say this is the world of the undead. The living dead. The reason we don’t see it this way is because we need positive thinking even more to survive in this world. We are material things come to life. Animated skeletons with flesh. The millions of microorganisms crawling in my skin are the stamp of our origin, the mark of what we are. We are beautiful, yet we evolved from the bugs, the amebas, the primordial soup. This is the creepy anti-world. Here it is death, outer space, that has the final say. Against a crushing darkness, it is all the more important that we surround ourselves with the people and things we love. (Excerpt from In-verse Theory. This is a philosophical fun change of pace)

Depletion vs Depression vs Stress


Depletion is different from, yet can make our bodies more susceptible to, stress or depression. This was a side note in anther article, but then i realized it deserved it’s own article.

I call this low energy state ‘depletion’ or ‘drain’ but it is NOT the same as depression… or sadness, even though they can feed into each other. Depletion is an absence of photonic light energy in the body, like physical exhaustion, while sadness is an emotional response to an event or circumstance. This is not a clear distinction at all for many people, but it is very distinct and can be offensive to confuse them. Depletion is also not the same as stress, yet a depleted body will fall into a state of physical strain or stress much more easily, so they are connected in that way. Our society knows a lot about stress, but for me -depletion- (cellular energetic depletion) is an even bigger underlying root problem we know almost nothing about too often. For a while i was even calling depletion depression and then i had this moment where i was like, “wait, these are two importantly different things”, but when people repeat something a lot, it boggles your brain, it influences you. You want to say what is ready to be understood, yet you don’t want to be a sucker and completely give up on the point you were making just because your afraid of push back.


Depletion is about the absence of energies our eyes can’t see (waves of light and sound, and magnetism), though we CAN see the EFFECTS of this energy or the effects of it’s absence. On the other hand, we often blame stress or anxiety because they seem like more tangible phenomenon, easer to spot and articulate, yet it’s really only half or 45% of the story. In fact if i have a hard day i will tell people i’m stressed because they get that right away, if i tell them i’m depleted they don’t know what i’m talking about, or think that i’m depressed and try to talk it out of me. If you say exhausted that implies you were working out, but you can become very depleted just from standing still too long, being still to long is actually uncomrtble for the body and causes energy to leek out. You can become depleted just form being near stressful people too long, or being stuck in a very blank drab unstimulating room.

Deprssion is it’s own signicant and different thing, it may not be a choice, it can be deep built up sadness caused by many absences or negitive events happening over years. I may not be doing depression justice, this article is more about depletion so i’ll stick to what i know, and the definitions have been been blurred, i wonder that a lot of what we call depression stress or anxiety in my mind is really rooted in and caused by depletion. And the words do matter because they can have different implications. The word -depletion- hits home for me that many of these problems are rooted in a physical absence of energy in the cells, not just an emotion or a ‘choice’ that certain people are not making… and not laziness or a lack of will power either. Depletion is a significant absence of energy that effects the material body, it can be caused by many things, and often is caused by many things at once, not just one, or rather the absence of many things or factors that should be there. It’s illusive because the body can repell or bounce back from one negative element, so we can never find that ‘one cause’ depletion usually happens when there are so many negative elements in ones life, that it causes their energetic body to collapse in on itself. It requires many cures, or positive influences. That’s why one ‘cure’ may not be enough. The body is strong and often it takes more then one thing to bring it down, in many cases. So lets explore all those factors!

Environment matters a lot. I often see coaches working with depleated people and trying to ‘motivate’ them out of it. And this is what leads to the viciosu cycle of stress, we think we are not good enough, never trying hard enough, if i just try ‘harder’ it will work.. it never does. The truth is being depleated is actually very hard already, and the solution is to soak up some good energy. To find the right enviomrents, the right self-talk, learning to treat yourself with kindness, learning you deserve to put yourself in places that make you feel good, hang around people that make you feel good. rearranging your furniture, bringing more color and light into your house, putting up pictures that make you feel good, putting your wellbeing first. being around others, yet not chasing and sacrificing yourself for them. you can’t ‘motivate’ the photons back into your bodies cells. it’s actually a very enjoyable process, it’s about finding the rhythm and preactii reining these energeties. I spent a long time battling and stressing and moting myself to succeed, but i found it very furitless, stress that creates more stress, it eventually leads to a kind of insanity, and your willing to do anything and believe anything (i see this all the time), and that only gives feul to the idea that ‘trying harder’ in this self forceful way will lead to results. At the end of the day i’m not offering immortality, it’s just a series of subtle yet significant shifts…. It can be easy to say ‘open more windows?’ that’s not that important’, or ‘decorate my house with colorful inspiring posters?’ i’ll get to that another time, or ‘variety sounds good but i like this activity more, so i will do this one acitivy all day’, yet when you combine all these energetic benefits, your standard of wellness can increase a lot, it magnetically shifts the body/heart, to create an upwards pull, your own gravitational center if you will, you cutlavte enough personal satisfaction or deep vital energy, that you over come the exhaustive pull over gravity (not enough to fly) but you body will feel a lot lighter and more agile.

It’s a critical mass, where the positive forces in your life overcome the negative forces, it involves everyone and everything, but you don’t have to think about it all or make it complicated, it’s a lot of suble benefits, but it adds up to create a dramatic shift, where now effereltiess momentum, photoic and magnetic energy, is working in your personal favor. before it was bleeding out into the ground. but now reaching a certain mass of energy, it becomes perpetual motion, ‘flow’ as many call it (without always explaining all the forces involved) and this body energy can make so many parts of life a lot easier and more beneficial to people around you. a depldated body suffers AND pulls people around them down too, like a black hole, it sucks in so many ways and is the hardest thing ever. Cultivate a critical mass of energy, and you benefit and others benefit. Depilated people are not bad or lazy. There are so many stigmas about this it is crazy. When we realize that people who fall into the pull of gravity, these downward energies, and arcually just waiting for their potential energy to be unblocked, we begin to see many more people as comrades, and support and love them rather then critize them because we think they are ‘not trying’, which can’t be farther from the truth.

My top 9 Weirdest Dreams


My 9 weirdest and most profound dreams.

I used to not dream very much, or remember my dreams, and when i did they were very boring, like literally repeating the most boring parts of the previous waking day lol. My dad complains of something similar.

Later I got into meditation, I began to look forward to my dreams as a place of insight and even fun. I also got into lucid dreaming, or realizing that I could have free choice and control in my dreams, which i disovered before realizing that was a thing. Anyway i’ve since lessened mediation somewhat and become more about ‘living as play’ but thats another topic. Now my dreams continue to be liberated and interesting, even more so then before. I just see the dream as a continuation of the play of my waking life. it doesn’t even need to have a message, dreams for me now are often just pure fun, I don’t need a message so often to ‘fix something’ in my life, yet if there is a message now and then to help me get around a problem in waking life that can be fun too. These are some of my most profound dreams from the last 5 years when my life got more interesting. (I apologize for typos, this is sort of stream of consciousness)


My Guru

I was at a spiritual event in real life, that night I dreamed I was at home or in a hotel, I looked into a mirror, only my reflection was my guru, a man i looked up too in real life, I said ‘is that you rinposhe’ but then the mirror went blank and i had no reflection. then i left my body some how.

… It was almost like the dream was telling me.. that I was my guru. that I could be anything I wanted. and that seemed to be the conclusion I ultimately reached. that i looked too much to teachations and other to tell me what to do in my life, and ultimately I was already realized, alreatred the guru, already inglighed, and when I thought I wasn’t, things just went down hill.


Stowe-away Cat

A small fat white cat is hiding unlearnteahd a floorboard soaking weed, then people coem in to try and ‘exterminate’ the cat, but my mom comes in pleeding and defending the cat.

Staragne because I felt I was the cat in the dream, yet I had been very buddhist at the time, and against all indulgence at the time, so it was strange to dream of myself as a weed smoking cat.


Gothic Girls’ Command

I was in a big wear house or a furniture store. I saw a blond girl dart gleefully away to my left, I couldn’t quite keep up with her, then to my right i saw a gothically dressed girl sitting on a box, black hair, black dress. she was interesting to me. she said “crawl under that floor boards” so i did. there was some crawl space. i would to whatever she needed. then i saw a spider, and she said “eat that bug”, so i did. it actually felt hard and painful somehow, it felt like a somewhat wrong choice to make. i woke up. 

…interesting I felt the gothic girl was attainable for me, so I did a few semi-extreme things to please her, yet thinking back the blone girls mind frame seemed much healthier, just pure frolicking glee wandering free… yet i felt she was out of my reach. so i settled for following orders from someone who was a bit crazy.. because i felt i couldn’t have the other. but maybe i could. …. so that was my analysis, if it makes sense. for the record i love gothic style, i think the dream was more a symbolic ‘dark girl,’ an idea of a girl or an idea of how to work for success that actually instead leads me to a more literal darkness .


Far Away Planet

All of humanity had moved to this other planet. I felt the vast nothingness of space around me, and it felt like this small planet, it’s gavity my fade away at any time, and i could fall out into the vast distance of space. Im afraid of heights.  And without gravity, up is down and down is up, it’s like i could be falling forever. it’s scary to feel like there is no ground anywhere. it felt like all the planets in space are crumbling and disappearing.

This one is fear of being alone, fear of outer space, and the reality of it. We people of earth are -really- surrounded by a huge vat of outer space, empty space that travels light years and light years away, and we are ~surprised~ when we feel afraid or lost!



One of the weirdest and darkerst ones, this was one of my first big dreams but i save it till now because it’s a big one.


I was watching a large airplane take off over dark and ominous skies. The takeoff seemed decent, yet soon it was clear that menacing dark mountains were below and the craft was flying low. The airplane swerved up & down, trying to stay in the air but nearly crashing into mountains multiple times. The airplane moved and curved almost like a snake or a spine. The plain was taking another dive, and had to fly underneath a suspension bridge, then immediately it pulled back up to dodge yet another mountain. For a moment I felt proud that the plain pulled this off. But then the plain immediately crashed into ANOTER even larger mountain. The plain was down, deviation… I found myself walking towards the plain to check out the wreckage. I entered the plain. There were bodies strewn all about, some even stuck to the sealing. It was a big double decker plain. I climbed up to the second floor. This is where it actually gets weird. …Strangely… this room was calm, nicely lit even. …8 men sat perfectly unharmed. They were all bald, identical looking, wearing star trek like uniforms. They all resembled Ken Wilber actually, the spiritual thinker. ..They were having a complex intellectual dialogue, oblivious of the dead below. ..There was also one old Russian woman there, she was operating a complex fortune telling device. They didn’t notice me, or seem indifferent to my presence. There dialogue was intense and brainy, the Russian woman sighed and had some counter advice for them, sort of like a loving argument… Then suddenly everyone vanished. The room was totally empty now, just me. Then the lights went out. My body went completely stiff, i couldn’t move. ..A dark shape appeared on the other side of the room. It looked almost human, or beast, but it was more like a shadow. I knew somehow, this was the thing that brought down the plain. The true reason for the crash. For some reason all I said to it was “are you coming?” Then I woke up.    .. In retrospect I believe that the shadow beast represented my physical body, it was a sign I was living in conflict with my own body.  the 8 men on the second floor represented my mind-mode way of living. sort of like ‘overthinking’ that may have brought down the plain, even after the plain crashed the men were still overthinking, they didn’t even notice anything bad happened. the one woman was my diminished feminine or creative energy, outnumbered by overthinking male voices. (For a while I even became fascinated with the beast, I noticed i could have these weird negative hallucinates while staring into the mirror without blinking, i would watch horror movies, and i could bring it back in my dreams…  but now i see the beast more as a stress manifestation, something i needed to let go of.) In truth it didn’t feel like there was a beast there, as soon as i addressed it in conversation, it seemed to disappear. like it had never even been there, after all it was a shadow, my own shadow.


Flying after the pointless conversation:

I’m talking to a shorth round woman, gazing into her eyes, she says “how are you”, i say “things haven’t been great lately, something is wrong, i don’t know what” i hold eye contact with her as she says “you should…” “you should” it seems she’s about to give me some kind of advice, but something isn’t right somehow, i’m not sure i buy it, i feel myself energetically pulling back, taking a breath, her eyes are glazing over, she seems a bit worried or she is becoming less interesting to me somehow. ‘you should….’ she continues, like the universe is glitching a bit. i realize i was happy just gazing at her, what ever she is about to say ‘you should…’ it isn’t right some how, i don’t even know why.. her voice fades into a whisper ‘you should…… take this pill.’ then she disappears.

It was like this falseness. Whoever she was going to say, it was just like selling me something i didn’t need. What I really need was just to gaze at her, just to feel like someone was listing, for two people to be there for each other. It didn’t need to be fixed with great advice, or a pill. what ever the advice was, it was essentially similar to handing me a pill to fix something that didn’t need fixing. gazing was the cure.

And suddenly the scene changed completly, i woke up in a hotel, i was somewhere on vacation with my family, london perhaps, i felt this amazing energy in my chest. it seemed like it’s own source of gravity. i realized had felt this before, as a child, and when traveling on great vactions. suddenly my body actually floated out of bed, i was flying, the energy in my chest lifted my body, like this was the most natural thing ever, then my body charged froward, flwying through the window and across the city. passing over beautiful city scapes. 

I call these streem dreams, where it’s like this role of beautify scenery just keeps automatically generating itself, i just keep walking or flying forward, and new senery keeps appearing, like a treadmill, the new scenery draws me fwoard and create a forward motion, that give my brain energy to generate more scenery, sort of like perpetual motion. the shift seemed to happen when i released i was content just gazing at her, and i didn’t have to do whatever she said i ‘should do’. gazing itself was the solution.


India Eyecontact

This dream actually really changed the way i looked at my life. I was on a trip in India when i had this dream. In the dream my co-workers were talking to this indian girl. i was watching them from a far on the second or third floor of a building. I was just gazing at the three of them, and suddenly my eyes met with the girls, she looked right at me, she lit up. An immeidalty, she actually climbed up the wall of the building, jumped in through the window and huged me. 

this dream had such a profound and strait forward message. all i did was make eye contact with her, and it was like she couldn’t wait to get to me. the next day i told my co-worker “i had this dream about eyecontat and it made me think” she said “do you think we aren’t making enough eyecontat with people?” i said rezliaing it sounded like an unintintal criticism “no, well, maybe -I- am not making enough eyecontat” i felt i needed to share the realization just to get somelses feed back, or just to help it stick in my mind. That day we were trying to win over a possible business associate, i remember i just made a lot of eyecontat with this new person, thinking she was attractive, she was telling us about a lot, talking fast, and there was a lot of it i didn’t understand, i remember thinking ‘is it even right to make so much eyecontt if i don’t understand a lot of what she is saying’ yet i had this strange feeling like making all this eyecoant i woudn’t normal make, was helping the exchange of energy, after the car ride and conversatoin with this person, my co-wokers talked a lot about how positive the exchange was and how happy they felt to work with this person. all i did was make eyecontat an think that this person was nice or attractive, yet i felt the uplift in my heart that it had made a difference and this was one of our better exchanges. after that i often had this feeling like i was ‘naked’, i used to rely on words so much, but now i realized so much energy could be transmitted just between the eyes of people, and i didn’t need words as often or as much. i didn’t have to stress over saying the right thing, and that made things much easier. and when i did speak, i could enjoy it more, it because more like art, and i liked the sound of each word in my moth, i felt more emotion behind it. i noticed i could say less then i used to, but it seemed to draw more people in, like art comedy or poetry.



…i’m looking in on a church from the third person. the pews (seats) are all full. only the person giving the sermon is not a person, it is very obviously and clearly a demon, large and round with huge spikes, he’s less the ‘creepy’ demon, and more the strong and powerful looking type. he is muscular. covered in dark scales. he seems evil, yet he seems ‘knowelgebul’ as he reads from a book, perhaps his power makes him seem safe for the people listening. But i don’t trust him. I am a silent onlooker in the dream, not aware of myself. but then one person stands up, interestingly he is not totally a person, he look like he’s half human half reptilian. perhaps to imply that he is ‘imperfect’, or has some demon in him too. he is also part human. he stands up suddenly and says “I reject your way of thinking” suddenly he is pulled to the back of the room, and hung on a crucifix. his arms stretched out.. you know the deal. the demon looked at him, i don’t think another word was even uttered. the demon just looked at him from across the length of the church, the demons mouth opened wide, it extended downwards in a way that seemed creepily longer then his jaw bones should reach, exposing a black pit, his throat. then the most creepy part of all, his long purple tongue extended out in an instant, reaching 50 yards the length of the church, and stabbed him right through the heart. i actually watched him writhe in angony, and then die.

believe it or not this isn’t nessarly how i feel about church, rather it is a metaphor for my life in genril, how it feels like i am sometimes in service to a demon or something evil because it is powerful, and obeying this darkness feels ‘safe’. yet i’ve never had a dream that caputred how i felt about it all so clearly. this feels like my whole life, so why have i never had this dream before? maybe because i wasn’t aware of what i was obeying. maybe i didn’t ~want~ to be aware of it. because that’s exactly what’s most sarry about the dream, is not the demon, but all the people in the seats, listening to what is clearly a demons sermon, yet they seem contented and not to notice. Something caused this one person/repile to stand up, what was it? is it a stretch to say that… maybe it was realizing that he was part reptile himself.. that librated him.

This dream is profound and i relate to it perhaps the most because there is both a profound realization of a hidden truth, followed by a dark extreme ending. It’s strange, i still feel the man was right to stand up for him self, even though it caused his death. this is actually rather christian in a way haha. the sacrifice.


Circle of knives

I’m in a park/valley with lots of fun young people around me, i see my college house mates, i walk over to talk to them, there is some kind of exchange, but it feels distanced, ultimately i walk back and don’t join them for a seat, which is what i wanted. later i’m sitting on a trampoline (like the one in my back yard) a few friends around me. i say “i wanted to connect with them, but i couldn’t get close for some reason”. one of the friends there is a girl, she looks slightly sickly, like she has been socially isolated, or puts work first all the time over friends, she said “i have a plan”. suddenly the scenery changed compleaty, i was walking, circling around a lake, i felt a knife at my back “ow!” this game isn’t fun. i speed up. a knife at my back again “ow!” but there was no way out. there were a few others with me, each had a kife, it was some strange dangerous game. who ever was too slow got cut. It felt physically painful, in a way that went beyond the dream. what i thought was someones logical plan, my plan, someones plan, to improve my life.. was now very clearly revealing itself to be a violent circle of knives.

What’s interesting is i’ve had this dream before recurring, yet it was only the kife part… i’ve never had the earlier part of that dream with the park and the trampoline. like a prequel dream. The earlier part seems to add some new insight on what caused the second part to happen. the socially isolated girl.. is part of myself, her “plan”, is the knife fight, madness, she is willing to fight to the death, to get what she is missing. because her isolation has made her mad. I think of her as the ‘sick girl’ or rather the ‘sick mind’. The circurule nature of the knife fight seems to point to that. the game is going no where, madness. …the only solution i can think of, is when i was on the trmpline, to simply not listen to the sick minded girl. similar to the woman in the ‘you should’ dream. the girl seems ‘knowledgeable’ because she makes up for her sadness by working hard all the time. yet underneath her knowledge is pure madness that can never be satisfied if it continues. reminds me of my school life. working on projects to impress people, but it was the long and wrong way to go about getting basic love and connection. i didn’t realize or feel that i was ‘good enough’ already. her plan to prove how good i was actually took me very far from what i wanted, even though it felt productive at the time, like i had solutions, like i had answers… yet almost anything else would have been better. less plotting and planning for future approval, more having fun and self love now.



The Difficult Journey: How to Stop Seeking Validation from Others

The Humbling River


So… this one can be a doozy.  Most of us aren’t even aware of the ways in which we persistently seek validation from others.  How do you address a problem you aren’t even aware that you have?  With some simple questions, of course..

So, let’s start here — a simple yes or no will help you to determine if this is or has been a problem for you,

Do you find yourself regularly displaced outside of your own experience, wondering and guessing at what another person is thinking/feeling?

Do you stop before you even start on new endeavors or projects because you are anxious over how others will perceive them?

Are you always or often the first person to say, “How are you?” or “How was your day?” to those closest to you?

Do you only show certain aspects of your personality, such as favored interests or hobbies, to carefully selected people in your life?


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Why Anime reveals our desire for Group Bonding

Often for many of us, our bodies are in what I would call a ‘low energy state’, perhaps we don’t know it, we just know ‘something is missing’. We struggle to find meaning. We long for deeper connection. Secretly wish for the recognition of pears. When this isn’t met we turn to a yearning to journey into a fantasy world. To meet “aliens. Time Travelers. and Ghost (Espers).” To quote a certain anime. Can’t this world get a little more interesting?


It’s mid winter. Haruhi is only wearing a tea shirt. But she is not cold. Her body is generating a massive amount of energy. It seems like she has nearly three times more than the others in the group. On the other hand Kozimui (in the middle) is freezing.

Haruhi is not only not cold, but she is having fun. She races ahead. What is it about her life style that allows her to generate this kind of energy?

Sure anime is fiction, but you can tell the creators are often inspired by observations of real events and experiences, because at the end of the day audiences relate to the stuff that feels ‘real’. Pure fantasy is actually less exciting because we can’t relate to it.

What generates Haruhi’s energy, her mainframe? Her willingness to take charge, and gather people, without needing a good ‘reason’? The way she can act without having to think or prepare that much before hand. The way she doesn’t care what people think of her. Probably all of the above.


Goku fights many battles on his own, but he only becomes a Super Saiyan God after gathering power with his friends.


In his battle Goku expresses sadness that he wasn’t able to “achieve this power on his own.” We see this theme of Pride play out many times in the anime series, Dragon Ball Z. By expressing this Goku lets his pride get in the way and his opponent Lord Bills gains the upper hand for a time. I relate to this in my own life, my greatest strength has come from gathering with others, but my pride gets in the way, I’ve found it hard to accept more of this power, even knowing how to get it, for the reason that it’s not ‘my’ power, it comes from the group, a shared power that goes beyond what I can do on my own.

Pride: I’ve got to do it on my own. I’ve got to suffer thought it. I am tough. I don’t need help from anyone. This will make me stronger.

Vageta puts a serious amount of effort into everything he does. He struggles, grunts, and strains. But because of his pride, he always falls behind Goku.  There is a kind of effortlessness to Goku’s power Vegata can’t seem to match no matter how hard he tries.

When Vageta abandons his pride and teams up with Goku, they attain incredible power. Power that goes even further beyond what Goku can attain alone.

“Because they were rivals, it actually makes their fusion more complete.” Old Kai, a wise elder, remarks.


I watched a lot of anime as a teen and young adult (as many do, anime is a surprising success even among adults, it is cathartic, we relate to it, it captures our emotions), something about it just captivated me like nothing else. My conscious life was very much about finding the ‘dream girl’.. but looking back what I didn’t realize was, much of the anime I watched was about a group of characters, coming together, bonding, laughing, going on adventures, all my favorite shows involved groups of characters, sometimes just goofing around, even though I consciously wanted the ‘dream girl’ I had a strong subconscious desire for group bonding, to be with a group of friends or peers. (Well the word subconscious makes it sound like some mysterious part of my brain ‘already knew’ it, and maybe it did, maybe I was afraid to admit what I needed and wanted, because it meant exploring new ways of spending my time, but it’s also true that I wanted and needed a new way of being with people, I needed it, even if I didn’t ‘know’ that i needed it, on any level of my mind.) This was definitely true for me, I can see now much successful anime has this theme, and I wonder that others are drawn to anime by this same desire to be part of a group, a club, etc, even if we often may not even be aware of this yearning, or that it is this that we are yearning for.


Sometime it feels like we are disconnected from our bodies, particularly in the modern technological era. It’s as though our body is some giant humanoid machine, like the ones from the despotic future anime Evangelion. We take orders, fight battles, we forget what we are even fighting for.

Sometimes for mysterious reasons our ‘sync ratio’ seems to be just right, “above 300” to quote Evangelion, and everything goes smoothly. Life just works. This amazing power comes out of seemingly nowhere. A body mind connection.

Other times we find ourselves hopelessly disconnected. The machine just won’t go. We don’t even know why.


The body is the strange thing, almost like an ancient alien technology.

Atuska and Shinji fight in Sync and defeat the enemy. Representing when people are in sync in an act of play, we are connected, as though by a magnetic or energetic field. In Evangelion they call this the AT field. IT takes them training and practice to get there. At first their instinct is to compete and argue, and this makes things worse, they lose the battle, by working together as friends and equals they win the battle.


.hackroots is another fun sci-fi anime. In this anime Haseo and Ovan spend a lot of time in the virtual reality game, “the world.”

When he stops moving Haseo’s (on the right) natural posture is slightly hunched. He struggles to connect to others. His body is not receiving vital energy. He feels dissatisfied and searches for this satisfaction, moving from one thing to the next, and his own vital energy can’t keep up with him. He is in a state of perpetual depletion.

Ovan has a bit of a confident older brother persona. Esoteric and intellectual. Ovan has better posture, but this is maintained with subtle conscious effort. On the surface Ovan seems to have a natural strength, but in realty his vital energy is only a bit stronger than Haseo’s. By creating an appearance of strength Ovan attracts healthy relationships into his life and thus gains some actual strength. But he may not fully be in touch with his inner power either.


Haseo will yearn for Ovan’s charisma. He may even mimic Ovan’s behavior. But he will only get mixed results. In realty even Ovan doesn’t know what he’s doing, he only seems to. This sets up a dangerous paradigm.


Kaname Chidori is a regular school girl with no military experience. However because she has a healthy life style, good friends, and is in touch with her instinctive body she is able to out wit and defeat a highly skilled combat specialist in their first encounter.


Chidori’s instincts and fully functioning perception allow her to doge bullets on reflex. The specialist on the other hand has years of training, but her body simply can not keep up physically. Chidori herself cannot understand why she is winning. The combat specialist has training in the field, yet she is a victim of abuse and is completely out of touch with the basic instincts of her body. Again these are anime characters, yet i feel like i see this same type of thing in reality, as i watch the anime it reminds me of real life experiences and people.. and the anime makes it fun and easy to identify and remember these phenomena.

The anime refers to certain characters having ‘whispered’ powers. I can’t help but wonder if these powers are a metaphor for the abilities of the instinctive human body when uninhibited by depleted (or stressed) energy. Our human bodies grow old they die. Our organic minds are slow. We are susceptiable to illness and diease. We make silly blunders all the time.


We dream of an age where all this might be changed. Where humans are enhance. A merging of human and mechiene. Some dread it, others yearn for it.

An age of artifical bodies that live forever. Think faster. Feel better. And can communicate telepathically through the net.

The Ghost in the Shell. We feel our inner reality is often hard to express to others. So much remanes unexpressed though present day language. What if one day in the future we could share our deepest thoughts and expreces by synching our minds though some kind of cable or net singnal. Would it bring us closer. Would it bring us too close?


Could this dream of connection be possible in our time. Does the body have some kind of hidden potential making these feats possible without technolgy?

We build our cities but we put the forest in danger. We advance technology, society, knowledge, but it seems at the cost and suppression of our own basic nature. We enrage the spirits within. We turn the forest into our enemy. Gods become demons that go on to harm us as much as we harm them. What is the simple yet power message of Princess Monoke?

Ashataka saves his village from a demon, yet instead of becoming a hero he is cursed where the demon touched him. He did the right thing, yet now he must bare this strange cruel sticky curse mark, possibly for all his life, and is outcast from his village. Already this movie is different and profound. It is a wound that refuses to heal, like some in my life. At first one doesn’t understand why.


But then we learn to cope. We learn to use the curse to our advantage in the ways that we can. Ashitakas curse is a good metaphor for the weirdness and relentless itch of mircrospic decease, things that effect us on the cellular level, or even just fear and negative thoughts, all the little waves and energetic pulses that can compile and bring us down, or lift us up.

Society succeeds in conquering human nature in the part of the movie when Lady Eboshi kills the Forest Spirit. This moment in the movie is really profound for me, because Eboshi  actually kills a god of goodness and nature, thinks she’s accomplished something and it certinatly was hard to do, yet she doesn’t realize she’s actually killed the source of life she and her people depend on. In modern times we have conquered the earth with our current version of society, polluting it, yet our industrial and competitive based way of life does not harness the true power of nature and the human and animal community. We are getting in our own way by not trusting nature, and other people as equals, not trusting our own nature and the creative playful self. They could have easily said the forst spirit survives and get’s payback, but it doesn’t, much is not redeemed, and that is more true to what happens in our world.


We long for a return to natural harmony.



If You Could Improve Your Life by Replacing One Word Would You?

Professional & Personal Development


I want to discuss a word that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. This word has plagued millions of people with guilt and shame and I believe that if we reduce the number of times we use this word I believe that all of us can reduce the level of guilt we have in our lives. This word my friends is the word ‘SHOULD’.

The most insidious fact about this word is that it affects millions of people without ever crossing the person’s lips. What do I mean by that? I am referring to our thoughts.

In cognitive psychology it is believed that our thoughts create our emotions and how we think about a situation will trigger an emotion.

Let’s take a look at how this word operates in our everyday thinking.

When you use the word ‘should’ in relation to yourself it can create a damper…

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The difference between letting go and running away

body & mind balance

The one thing I learned in my turbulent life was to let go – of everything. I was moved between countries, between homes, between schools and every time all was lost; not only friends and places but also things. My magic boxes full of little insignificant treasures, my clothes, my toys. The first time I was displaced I also lost the person I loved the most, she who was peace and security to me, I never saw her again. I was just about to turn seven.

That was the first time I was displaced; I found myself in a new country without any of my belongings except a teddy-bear and a school-book. I struggled to understand, to fit in, to learn the language, to not be afraid. I locked myself in a shell and lived in a fantasy-world in my head. I was beaten, mocked and un-loved, waiting for the…

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