The Energetic Heart & Body

Unknown to many, hidden to the five senses, the human body gives off a subtle healing energy. This energy is exchanged with other humans. We go about our lives chasing our ambitions, unaware of this energy source that is right there, available in our communities if we know where to look. This exchange of energy, it happens all the time when we’re are in close proximity of others, even when we are doing or saying very little at all. This ‘energy’ is subtle yet important. According to some German scientists.. the human body emits small measurable intensities of light, known as biophotons, from the eyes and skin. (Dr. Fritz-Albert Popp.) (Herbert Schwabl, Herbert Klima. Spontaneous ultraweak photon emission from biological systems and the endogenous light field.) My own spiritual and social journey to become more connected to others, while first ironically leading me into further isolation, later lead me to realize that there seemed to be some kind of ‘energy’ or vitality that would just ‘appear’ over time when large groups of people had gathered. And also in particular when those people seemed relaxed and were having fun. After years of observation and study into this it began to seem to me that humans were constantly exchanging small amounts of energy, and that energy was light itself. Like energy from the sun. Only this was a kind of living light. I began to study it and experience it and research further into this subject. This ‘group healing effect’ seemed to be a simple answer to many of my life long struggles. A simple answer that took years even decades you might say to even notice or attune to. It had very little to do with ‘social skills’ as I had always been told, and ironically had more to do with particle physics. The healing effects of the energy people emit, light. And to put it more simply, it was really about relaxing and enjoying the self in the company of others. Too long I had focused my social energies into impressing others and trying to calculate in my mind what would be the best thing to say. All that energy, my ‘light’ was being channeled into misguided intentions, put there not by my own mistakes, but rather by society itself. The advice and ‘common wisdom’ that was surrounding me. As it turned out connection and attraction had very little to do with what I ‘said’, it was all about energy, joy.

This biolight, this ‘biophotonic field’ if you will, a kind of light energy that humans emit without even trying to, it is healing to ourselves and other people around us. Our bodies have a system for receiving biolight from each other, storing it in our cells and DNA. “Cellular damage can be virtually repaired, within hours, by faint beams of light.” (Popp) Biolight and other energies exchanged between people exist “just below our conscious perception.” (Rollin McCraty)

heartfields

If someone is too focused on  achieving tangible goals or getting the approval of others they never notice their own inherent worth. Though we can’t see biolight particles with our eyes, we can act with an awareness of these energies and arrange more opportunity to simply receive their benefit. Biolight is a type of resource that can only come from being with people. The amount of light is seemingly small but the effect is significant over time. We don’t have to make an effort to produce it, because it is already  being produced.

There is a kind of mirroring and or multiplying effect that happens between people and in groups. The energy keeps reflecting off and circulating between people over minutes and hours of relaxed playful interaction and even just physically being around groups of people, the energy increases and increases.

I was fascinated to learn, five years ago when I was 25, that the term ‘biophoton’ was out there and there was a lot of research already confirming my suspicions. At the same time I felt that the research was incomplete, all through the essential discovery is there (of the body utilizing light energy similar to the way plants do.) I saw little mentioning of the way the energy seems to vastly multiply in large groups of people, or around people who are relaxed and having fun, in parallel to each other, or in the process of relationship. And no mention of the way the energy seems essential to attraction, pysical romantic and friendship, key to confidence, and they way it seems to heal many things such as ‘autism’ and any difficulties connecting with desired persons (other people). I think the current research is great, but i would much like to further it by measuring the energy and noticing any changes that occur in large groups or in festival like atmospheres for example. I think it would be interesting two measure the changes of energy in individuals in many different setting, public settings like restaurants or cafes, or in the park, at parties, and at home, at work. and see the differences. I am not concerned that everyone adopt the term ‘biophoton’. I think the term ‘deep vital energy’ is a bit better for the layman to use, it doesn’t sound so nerdy or science, although it is a bit wordy. Other words have been used such as ‘orgone energy’. Terms like ‘chi or prana’ describe the same energy, however those terms can imply effort, lots of skill, martial arts training and awareness. The ‘deep vital energy’ requires little skill. Often unskilled people will happen to be in good positive community environments that can naturally and or accidentally provided them with all this ‘vital energy’ this ‘orgone energy’. It doesn’t have that much to do with training. However you can practice to be more aware of it, and to consciously put ourselves in locations where you will naturally receive it’s benefit. I feel that the research on bio-photons doesn’t express the incredible social physical and emotional benefits of the energy, and the way it multiplies in social settings, particular ones that are relaxed or have a fun atmosphere.

When you are in these good environments you won’t even have to try to receive the befit of the energy. It will happen naturally. Mostly you will just have to make sure not to worry too much, to ‘get out of your own way’ so to speak. And the energy will continue to feel good even after the ‘good time’ is over. You have been noticing this energy all your life, it isn’t really anything new, some people like me may even lust after it, or become deeply devoted to a spiritual practice to get more in touch with it. I don’t think it has to be such a battle any more. There are many people out there who have all the natural skills they need to succeed, like they aren’t even trying, success just comes to them.

New research from 2019 indicates that the light is actually revived by single celled organisms that travel through a system of what some scientists are now calling ‘microtubules’ like basically a second circulatory system, yet smaller. In a strange way the light field really reminds me of ‘the force’ from star wars. And the micro organisms that carry light in the body, they are much like the fictitious ‘Midi-chlorians’. Particles that carry the force. This new research about biophotons and microtubules, what I was first referring to as ‘deep vital energy’, is the gateway to a totally new understanding of the body, and also key in how people connect socially, but modern science the way it is is likely to protest it for a long time to come. Just as they have held back advancements in stem cells.

It is also not unlike what is happening in archaeology now where amazing discoveries of ancient civilizations older and more advanced then we thought possible are being brushed aside because they conflict with the current established view of history. New research indicates the pyramid of Giza is actually two or three times older then previously thought possible, and it actually serves some type of advanced energy harnessing function connected to electromagnetism. As it turns out the story is much bigger, there are actually hundreds of other pyramids similar to it all around the world, many have been buried or are deep under warred, often dismissed as mere ‘mountains’ natural formations that just happen to have perfect geometry. Anyway, that’s a whole other topic.

I believe that many human struggles and perhaps even bigger struggles of the world could either be explained by absences of this ‘biophoton’ energy and or absence of understanding how the energy works. Unlike ‘chi’ or ‘prana’ the ‘deep vital’ energy can be spread out or distributed across society and communities in a way that feels random. Some families and or groups have the ‘good vibes’ and produce lots of vibrant magnetic or attractive children, others are awkward and have ‘low energy’ emission. It is very random and chaotic, and it is not anyone’s fault. If a flower doesn’t get enough light, it is not the fault of the flower that it is not growing, and it’s also not the fault of the flowers near by, and no amount of shouting or telling the flower to “grow” can make it grow. It grows from sunlight soil and water, being in a nourishing environment. That means being somewhere where it can receive the ‘energy’ to become part of it’s flow. People grow like plants, yet we place judgment on ourselves and each other all the time for things that aren’t anyone’s fault. We need to take charge of our lives and seek out and create environments that make it easier to thrive, and break the patter of what all the old voices and old habits of conditioned society tell us we ‘should’ to. What all those voices tell us ‘is right’ and start listening to what ‘feels’ right. Listening more to that feeling. It isn’t obvious. And even just listening to the feeling doesn’t mean everything will go right. The first time i tried just trusting in the ‘feeling’ never even seemed to let me leave the house. I think I got more discouraged about trusting my ‘feelings’ after that. It didn’t seem to be the first time feelings had lead me astray. And yet all that goes back to the environment thing. once I got myself out of the house and into that environment where i could ‘grow’ like the flower. The energy started to flow. I went to meetups and concerts and places where people were having fun. That was how i taught myself to succeed society. And disconnected from the old advice the forced social skills and ‘be yourself’ stuff that wasn’t working. The ‘try harder’ thing that feels like motivation yet becomes endless and fruitless over months and years.

Much new information and research is already out there yet the struggle society now faces is the tendency to get stuck in a kind of ‘group think’ a classic psychology thing that is easy to overlook, the tendency to do what the group is doing, to do what others are doing just because others are doing it. Similar to having a kind of blind faith in ‘the experts’ and other authority figures just because they ‘should know’.

This research about the ‘light energy that travels between people’ opens up a new way to understand how we connect and what makes us feel fulfilled and happy. It comes from being with people yet it adds color and joy to all other aspects of our lives, our passions and joy.

The energy continues to last inside of us even after the social gathering is over. Not unlike charging a battery. In a way we are like organic batteries charging wirelessly when we hang together in groups. It sounds silly, yet looking at it this way has made things like socializing and going to parties immensely easier for me. Now I don’t even try. I just enjoy myself. It is something you have to get used to. But with practice it becomes very easy. You keep showing up and letting go of all the old assumptions that tell you you can’t. They come from the old ‘low energy’ conception of realty I used to be in. And now people want to talk to me. We are giving off the energy all the time, it is not a choice, just noticing it is there, now i can take more time to fully enjoy it. Unlike the force or something from DBZ the energy doesn’t give us super powers, however it does connect us more to people, and to me perhaps that is a superpower lol. You can mainly notice it with how you feel, such as ‘uplifted’. You have been noticing it all your life. I did. But I didn’t know that I could have more satisfaction more often. And it wasn’t about ‘working harder’ as I thought for so long. When I notice and feel the energy around people more I tend to seek out those places and environments that made me feel uplifted, the concerts or even just going to the park. I also began to change my perspective with home life, really accepting the goodness that was already there, taking more time to enjoy it. I found that enjoying what i already had, i was attracting more. Friends of friends would stop b, suddenly they saw me in a new way. It was about both acceptance, seeing the good in what already is, and being proactive about seeking those people and places that made me feel uplifted, fulfilled, that kind of healthy good feeling. That is the feeling of the deep vital energy filling you up. To be more nerdy you can call it ‘biophotons’. It is what I am now starting to call ‘Party Therapy’ the joy of being with others yet staying connected to yourself.

I go on the news and sometimes it starts to feel like even young children have something more to offer to the conversation because they are still creative and outside pre-established assumptions, while we adults are stuck in the box. The world is changing so fast with the internet, google and youtube, information and cutting edge info is available on anything and everything in a way that is quick and easy to understand and comes at our desire and request. It is a kind of party therapy as well. If you are not using it to replace social bonds that is as I did years ago. The internet fills our generation with so much info, if you know how to use it in the right way that is, non addictive, thinking for yourself, spending most of your time experiencing the real world, the internet can keep you informed about all kinds of things. The problem is now not that we don’t have new solutions, but that we society as a whole is so attached to the old way of doing things that it can be hard to notice new information is even there. And this is really not the fault of any one individual.

Our eyes alone possess an incredible power to help others relax, feel safe; central in this naturally occurring light exchange between people. Yet it is not just about the eyes but also the heart. It is about what we feel when we gaze that makes the gaze more satisfying, and the revelation that we can influence and change how we feel, with thoughts, with belief, with our own free will, mostly we can change simply by noticing a feeling is there, just noticing we can change it we already start to change…. We allow ourselves to feel comfortable with ourselves and then with various types of eye contact. I allow my eyes to move around and go where they want to go. It is important to know that we can take pressure off needing words to substantiate ourselves. So many modern modes of relation focus largely on intellectual concepts and words. The truth is we can in fact look at someone, anyone, in their eyes, without words needing to be exchanged, and this is vital and healthy. People just like the sense that someone is paying attention to them, they feel heard, it feels good and natural. Biolight travels at the speed of light, though it takes the heart time to absorb it.  I believe it may also be able to effect people from long distances such as 100 feet. For example one can feel and benefit from the energy of an entire crowd. It may be more effective at closer distances. This may sound like turning love into science. Yet I believe that this awareness of our bodies may reduce suffering and enable us to thrive.

“Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

The Dalai Lama

The heart plays a significant role in the body in addition to pumping blood. It is key in powering this energetic biolight system in the body. “The heart generates a powerful pressure wave that travels rapidly throughout the arteries much faster than the actual flow of blood.” (Rollin McCraty) “The magnetic component of the heart’s field, which is around 5000  times stronger than that produced by the brain, is not impeded by tissues (muscles, skin, organs) and can be measured several feet away from the body (with Superconducting Quantum Interference Device (SQUID) based magnetometers.)” (The Energetic Heart: Bioelectromagnetic Interactions Within and Between People Rollin McCraty, Ph.D.)   In addition to the brain, the heart and the gut actually contain neurons. This heart intelligence informs the brain more then was previously understood. Our feelings or intuition are an evolved decision making system. When we learn to trust our feelings without fear they can guide us to what is needed both individually and collectively. Feelings of the heart can actually be felt physically by other people near us. If someone has an anxious heart it can actually be uncomfortable for a person ten feet away if they are also anxious or in energetic drain. If someone is feeling a natural or un-efforting satisfaction, this can be felt and is attractive to someone ten feet away and more, and is also healing to another with an energetically drained heart. The energetically satisfied heart is not only less effected by anxiety of others it is healing to them. Without a full heart the mind is more easily encumbered by fear and self doubt. Constantly thinking in search of complex solutions, but never satisfied.  Physical contact, a touch on the shoulder, hugging, is also an important way of generating energy and connection with people. A socially isolated person may feel threatened by touch. Prolonged social isolation, stillness, and time in dismal environment is actually draining to the human body. Experiments on monkeys showed that if you remove a monkey from it’s environment; if you take a monkey away from the other monkeys, but continue to feed it, it will actually die. It was said that monkeys who were given a soft object to hug survived the social isolation, but they were still considerably weaker then the monkeys who remained in their natural habitat.  Social isolation will make someone physically week, fragile. In light of this we should move in at a general and gradual rhythm, adjusting differently depending on the person. Being cautious with an isolated person so they feel safe.

We can also exchange biolight with animals. It is possible that a larger person may emit more then a smaller person, a young man may emit more than a baby. The fully mature heart emits more. A happy person will emit more then a small cat (of similar emotional state). But a cat may emit more then a depressed person. At the same time babies and children will emit a lot because they instinctively know to make eye contact and feel free to play; social insecurity in society has not yet set in. Children and young people will often emit a lot of biolight because their bodies are very healthy and they feel free to express play (thus releasing the stress in their cells). Knowing about biolight and play can restore youth to a degree. We can use this awareness to get more out of relationship, and be with people that help us feel good.

I used to think that other people, girls I liked, peers I wanted to meet, ‘had the love,’ the ‘bright eyes’. We’ve all felt or seen it. I would sense it from people. All my life I was expecting the other person to ‘show the love’. I thought if someone didn’t that meant they didn’t like me. But now I see the ‘bright eyes’ more as a phenomena that arises between people. I was putting too much pressure on the other expecting it from them. It was never there’s to give. The ‘bright eyes’ is something that arises over time between two or more people.

This social benefit is healing to us all. With time and practice, day after day it begins to feel more natural and instinctive to simply receive this ‘human light energy’ in the group. This is what I at first was calling the ‘love instinct’. To seek love attention and connection for the pure joy of it, for the good feeling it brings. Over time doing this the heart and mind actually self rewires so to speak, you thoughts and feelings become naturally reoriented towards seeking energy and joy and fulfillment from people and eye contact and things like laughter and the warm feelings this all brings. Feelings that become almost impossible to find when connection becomes replaced with material pleasures. Over just minutes and hours our heart and cells are charged with it. We become ‘fulfilled’ ‘uplifted’ ‘naturally high.’ (Naturally Social)

 

Beings of Light

All forms and evolutions of life may be the expression of light trying to survive against decay. The light is the true self. The human, is a material thing that channels light to stay alive. Consuming other objects helps fuel the process of change. – Play – or having fun, is another way we repel decay, flowing with the process of change. As one thing decays or ‘is no longer fun’ we find something new that ‘is fun.’ Super Mario jumps from one block to the next as they fall from under his feet. Each block is a transient thing. The process of change itself is life. Light is the true eternal. The one thing we can receive that does not change. Love. Light is the expression of love in a material Universe.

Humans are like ‘fungus,’ strange beings that share light energy with each other to survive, in a world that decays. We are Gods sealed inside material things. The Sun, Trees, oxygen, water, provide the ecosystem that makes us, mammals, more dynamic life, possible. We walk, outside the primordial soup. Yet our material bodies belong to the Earth. It’s the circle of life; we live by relying on each other and our world. Inside a human are many strange bones and organs. We are material creatures that have evolved to survive chaos and decay, harnessing play, to our advantage, and light. Science describes entropy as the tendency of things to move towards increasing disorder. In a vast Universe, life is the exception. …Humans may have more potential for creativity then any creature before. A large body of light (a human) can repel decay, it acquires an ‘aura’. A depressed, socially isolated, or severely injured person has less ‘aura’ and becomes more vulnerable to all kinds of sensitivity and illness. Even this aura  doesn’t last forever.

Weather patterns, city buildings, bugs, animals, human beings, this is all the crazy journey of light to survive in the vacuum of space. Being inside the Universe means relinquishing your divine power to be ‘mortal.’ By flowing with the process of change or ‘play’ we reverse decay, for a time. We can thrive inside the material Universe. A being with the right awareness could enter the Universe and suffer much less then those before her. It’s a game, you can win you can lose. There are many ways to play. It’s not a fair game. “God does in fact play dice” to quote quantum physicists and contradict Einstein. Everyone is dealt random cards, that is how the game is played. Both order and chaos exist in this reality.

lightbeing

“Biophotons, or ultraweak photon emissions of biological systems, are weak electromagnetic waves in the optical range of the spectrum (i.e. light). All living cells of plants, animals and human beings emit biophotons. A photon is a single particle of light but is too faint to be seen by the naked eye. However, biophotons have been detected and verified using photomultiplier tubes. While a few organisms, such as certain deep sea fish, emit quite considerable intensities (thus being easily visible), much lower levels of light, which can just be detected with photomultipliers, can be found in all kinds of other living beings.”

Einstein was fascinated by light. He proved that matter is governed by the speed of light. …Humans channel light, in particular through their eyes. The eyes literally may be the window to the soul. There may be a direct connection between the eyes and the heart. Light is both emitted and received by the eyes, absorbed into the heart itself – and all the bodies cells. Humans, and other animals, convert light into biolight, and share this light with each other in order to survive. We call this love. Living creatures change the organization (or coherence) of light particles, photons, to support living systems; turning them into biophotons, a type of light energy that is suited particularly to generating life.

Light perhaps in it’s nature is infinite, but space-time (the Universe fabric) defines, or breaks it up, it into finite (limited) particles; or quantums of light. Photons. This world contains both Heaven and Hell. Light is heaven. Space is Hell. You can come to the Universe and have an experience of both, or just one or the other. It’s not about how good you are, but how aware you are. Many never find the awareness they need through no fault of their own. God (infinity) has been chopped up into a ~ googolplex (very large number) of tiny pieces, like someones giant Lego set. Both beautiful and dangerous to play with souls in this way. Shame on you God.

Our world is like an Anti-Verse. Death is the anti-God that rules here. Perhaps the true center of Divine is outside. Life, trees, plants, animals, humans, light itself, all expressions of the divine bleeding through into our world. Stem cells. Sperm cells. Eggs. These are the ‘acrobatics’ light does to survive within the space-time vacuum. It is a vacuum  in the sense that all light has been sucked out save the stars, us, everything else, the byproduct of star energy.   In a metaphorical sense you could say this is the world of the undead. The living dead. The reason we don’t see it this way is because we need positive thinking even more to survive in this world. We are material things come to life. Animated skeletons with flesh. The millions of microorganisms crawling in my skin are the stamp of our origin, the mark of what we are. We are beautiful, yet we evolved from the bugs, the amebas, the primordial soup. This is the creepy anti-world. Here it is death, outer space, that has the final say. Against a crushing darkness, it is all the more important that we surround ourselves with the people and things we love. (Excerpt from In-verse Theory. This is a philosophical fun change of pace)

We Conquered Love, it’s almost epic

I met this amazing girl recently. I remember thinking that she was the hottest girl in my town/community, and thinking there was no way she would be interested in me. My plan was to talk to her if she wanted it, but not to ‘over focus’ on her, not to make her my main focus or romantic priority. She was inviting right away and invited me to sit next to her at this meetup event. However stuff like this happens to me now and then and i tell myself not to get ‘too attached’ just because I ‘got lucky’ and a pretty girl asked me to sit next to her. I had little connects with her for the following months. But then recently she needed a place to stay and moved in with me in my house where we live with six other friends. From that point on i told myself still not to get ‘too excited’ but after just a few days, something changed, i became much closer to her. Turns out she has a boyfriend and the cynic in me says ‘of course all hot girls are already taken’. i’m kind of selfish at this point in my life, being 29 and single, and am still wanting to pursue her. But it’s only because i also sense she has interest in me. I’ve been trying to get a girlfriend since i was 13. That makes this a 16 year quest lol. I don’t’ like to talk about it that much but i am actually a virgin. I think there is no same in this. I was ready to start a ‘virgins anominous.’ I think there is too much of a ‘race for sex’ with men, and it really isn’t something we need to validate our male pride. For the last 5 our so years i have been more interested in a quest for love then a quest for sex.

I did my best to send her the right signals to this girl. Lets call her Revanna. it’s only now and then. I try not to overwhelm her or come off as needy. They way she looked at me, looked into my eyes, and things she said let me know she liked me. When that happened i tried to give back, to send her the right signal. I like to make it a bit humorous, so it is friendly and not scary, being too direct can be scary or even crude to people. She told me she was “recovering from drug addition” so i told her “funny, many of the girls i really like seem to be recovering drug addicts.” I think she liked that. The statement let her know that i ‘really liked her’ I opened that door. But because it was indirect, it just ‘lets her know’ without forcing her to respond to it. There is a place for being more direct but in this case it wasn’t until after we made love. She told me i was beautiful so at that point it was pretty easy for me to feel safe telling her i felt the same way. I told her she was hot, and she told me i was hot. I never experienced anything so complete. At another point she was telling me that her ex needed anime porn to get off. I ended up telling her something like “I actually watch that too lol. I watched regular porn too though. I guess i need both. I don’t actually like porn that much because it feels kind of aggressive, i don’t really like watching other people have sex, so i guess technically i watch ‘videos of women’ that may or may not be porn.” I told it as kind of a ‘funny story.’ I remember thinking ‘what the fuck kind of dating tactic is this, I am telling her about porn. it was ok because she brought up the subject and i could tell from her personalty that she was ‘cool’ talking about most anything. It felt important to bring the subject up at least once because, to respond to that opening she gave me to talk a few sentences on that topic, because it lets her know that i have those desires. she had told me about her sexual inclinations, her struggle to remain committed to a single person. It felt important that i open up too, otherwise she might actually think that i was too ‘proper’ to have sexual inclination, or some shit, she might just think i wasn’t interested. in the past i would say so little that girls would think i actually wasn’t interested. even when i definitely was. I try to say just enough for them to realize that i have these thoughts and feelings, for them or girls in general, without going overboard. I think because i opened up about these stuff, she felt comfortable to continue opening further to to me, asking to hold my had and ‘cuddle me’.  At one point i was walking around with her outside, and she asked to massage my hand. I tried to make it seem comfortable and natural, like it was ordinary or totally cool, I wanted her to get that i was ok with it, often guys might go overboard and say something too sexual at this point, or say nothing at all. It is actually very simple, almost too simple, but i found that perfect middle ground. I just waited a bit and let her massage my hand, she said “how does that feel?” i said something like “that feels nice.” The old me would have said “that feels fine.” And that would have made her think i didn’t like it. A lot of these things are like strange habits. I think that “fine” is some kind of safe word, because i’m afraid in the past of saying too much. but I knew this time that it was important to say “nice” or “good” and not just “fine”. I think i probably could have done a bit more, i tend to be overly cautious. She told me that she has liked me this entire time. I remember  many times being afraid just to say “hi” to her. I realize i could have been a lot more bold, just in terms of ordinary things like saying high. This girl is 25, she is close to my age. I’ve met some girls who were a bit younger and just not interested. Because of that and my past experiences i tend to assume any girl i like won’t be interested. but that isn’t true any more. In this case she was interested, and I could have been more active in approaching her or saying hi to her. I got lucky that she moved into my house, there are six of us living here as friends. And living together made us way closer.

After things went so well with Revanna I started to reevaluate a few past relationships. I can think of a time from last year where a girl was nice to me but i thought she wasn’t ‘really’ interested. but she said things like “when are we going to go on a date Zack?” the singles were mixed. i thought maybe it was some kind of a joke. but then she was more forward the more recent times i saw her saying things like “Zack is one of my favorite people” to one of my friends. and asking me to go on a walk with her. I remember a day a year ago when we had a chance to hang out but she didn’t talk to me, here head seemed somewhere else. But maybe she just thought i didn’t like here. I think she was ‘going through shit’ but that didn’t have anything to do with me. Maybe she liked me all along. Like with Revanna, i could have included her more. This Revanna girl is so attractive that even though i wasn’t ‘sure’ she wanted to talk, i would just see her and be like “hey!” i tried to make eye contact with her. I remember thinking she wasn’t that responsive. but i think i was being to self critical. Because the next time I saw her she was driving by and she gave me a big wave, then she responded to my friend request on face book. It was that ‘delayed reaction’ effect I referred to in my Naturally Social book at one point. i have so many versions of that book i’m not even sure it made it into the final ones. Sometimes when you give ‘the love’ to someone, i mean in an appropriate way, like saying ‘hello’ they might not ‘appear’ to give back at first. they make a mental note of it and then feel more inclined to ‘give back’ in the future, to say hello in the future. we get discouraged to easily. I’ve even noticed this in myself. once this hot girl was inclusive towards me, she asked me how i was doing. but i couldn’t think of anything interesting to say. it felt like i didn’t have a ‘good’ response to her that reflected her energy / the joy i felt. but then 30 minutes later i got another chance to talk to her. it ended up being a great conversation that when way past my expectations, it just started with me wanting to ‘give back’ a good vibe that she sent me.

I was hanging out with this Revanna girl one night. She told me she wanted to “cuddle me”. We went to her room. She told me to “just relax”. It was compassionate and not ‘annoyed’ or something. It was helpful that she said that. After like 15 or 20 minutes she asked if I wanted to have sex. Like an idiot I said “maybe”. I think i get so content just cuddling or being near a girl that i don’t even want any more. I am used to a very slow rate of escalation, like years or even decades lol. But I immediately remembered that one other time in my life i turned down sex with a beautiful girl. I had my reasons. I wanted a relationship with that girl and i was afraid she just wanted one time sex. But the opportunity never came again. It would have been worth it just for the experience. Life can be so chaotic and unpredictable. I knew that another chance might not come again for like another 2 years or something lol. So after a few seconds i was like “actually, lets have sex.” It was great to have her on top of me. I didn’t realize how much rigorous humping was involved. For 16 years, from when my quest for love stared at the age of 13, till now, i just couldn’t succeed with women. I began to feel hatred inside me. I wondered if women were more ‘evolved’ then men. If they had evolved beyond the need for love. They could focus on there higher passions for art and academic ambition. While men were controlled by base desires for the booty and other sexual inclinations. I told myself stores like this out of hatred, to try and explain things, to make sense of everything. I told myself that women were better and they didn’t need us. It was great to feel this girl humping me, because it made me feel that she was just like i was, that she had the same desires i did and that we could embrace them together. In this strange place where heaven and earth intertwine. We humans are almost like angels in the way we appear yet we have this animal side to us. Society keeps us so straight laced, we block out our desires to maintain a ‘polite’ and appropriate social facade. Some of us feel so timid about our desires that the other gender doesn’t fully realize that we are ‘into’ them. We don’t find creative ways to express our passion to each other.

This girl was kicked out of her place of work for flirting too much. She had to move away to be closer to her new job. I don’t dislike her for that. Many of the girls I like have been ‘flirtatious girls’, those girls tend to have a lot of vibrant energy, because they are always ‘playing the game’, I don’t hate them for that. Love is unpredictable and they survive by keeping there options open. I might do the same thing if i was hot to the extent that everyone wanted me they way it seems to be with this girl. I’m just happy that i was in her life. This is a really beautiful girl, so when she told me i was her “best physical encounter” that really blew my mind. Even though she had to move away only 2 weeks after moving into my house, moving was the last thing she wanted, and i still feel really connected to her, we talk a lot by phone and text. Neither of us have cars, but that doesn’t stop the connection. Apparently she broke up with her boyfriend. She told me many times that she wanted to break up with him for various reaction, like he was a few years younger then her, long distance, still in school, and way to eager to get married after only being together a few months. I was tempted to say, “i won’t do any of those things” because i won’t, but i thought it was better just to listen and help with her conflict. Even though i had an obvious interest in there bring a ‘particular outcome’ as to the ending of her relationship, I didn’t push for that at all, it wouldn’t benefit me to be pushy anyway, i just acted exactly as a fried would act to listen to her and to help her make the right decision for herself. And as a separate subject in separate moments i let her know that i liked her. She told me i had a beautiful mind body and soul. she told me i was hot. I told her she was hot. I told her I loved her, “but not in a possessive way” I added. I was afraid the world “love” might be scary because it implies a ‘strong attachment’. But she said it was sweet. I still find myself being careful not to come off as too attached. I haven’t even talked to her about the boyfriend subject in a while since she moved away 2 weeks ago, but i noticed her relationship status on Facebook vanished, and 3 days later i reappeared as “single”. I can still see him posting to her on face book. It sounds like she let him down easy. Just because she is single i’m not assuming she wants to be with me. Now there is a bit more of a distance between us. But i’m not assuming she doesn’t want to be with me either. I had a few friends tell me “they didn’t want me to get hurt” from me telling them the story. that feels way to negative. I mean, any time you open that door there is the possibility of getting hurt, intact it is almost gaurenttee, yet it is worth it all the same. I am used to hot girls being really complicated and hard to get with, compared to some of the stuff i have dealt with in the past, this girl is totally easy. Even tough our time together was short lived, I’ve never felt so validated, the relationship with her felt so complete. She said all kinds of things, that she liked my smile and thought it was so genuine. She even said she liked my pelvis or some shit lol. once she started saying stuff like that it became much easier to open up and feel safe saying the feelings i had to her. I always find myself holding back a bit, i like to play it cool, i don’t want to gush or dump all my feeling on her, maybe it’s just because i’ve been hurt so many times.

There was this great moment when she was standing on the other end of the living room taking a selfie, she looked damn fine, so i said as much. I was like “damn, who is the girl in that picture, she is so hot!!” the picture on the phone was just her reflection basically in the camera of course. When i said that she got this great smile then and ran over and sat next to me. then she took a picture of me. This was another way I let her know i think she is hot but did it in this humorous light hearted kind of way.

I had all kinds of deep conversations with her but most of this was after we already had sex. People say that i have great listening skills but they only come out when i’m around really hot women lol. I’m just glad to have these skills at all. They are really simple, but it took a long ass time to get it, to get how simple it really is. It’s really simple in the short term, being with people and listening to them, but in the long run, i end up soaking up quite a lot of information and i can rattle of the most relevant insight or piece of information for all kinds of situations. The old me would always try too hard in the moment then burn out after a few hours. What i am doing now, it is like a “stylistic application of nothing” compared to what i used to do. I am just enjoining myself. I try to always grow my connections with others. I joke around now and then. I don’t make constant jokes, i take breaks and try to wait for the right moment, but people say they like my humor. My jokes are always related to what is happening in the present moment.  I’m always commenting on some kind of funny situation. I feel connected to the people in my hows, i think Revanna sensed that. so there was already a foundation for us to connect, for her to get to know me even before we stared having long conversations. I like humor, I like to take a difficult situation and put a creative spin on it, make it lighthearted, I do it because it makes me feel good, I actually do it for myself but other people like it, i like it because they like it, and they like it because i like it. Most of the deep conversations i had with Revanna weren’t till after we had sex, but they were important for furthering the relationship. She was forced to leave too soon, but it is still my most successful romantic interaction.

I think a lot of guys like me are afraid of the ‘friend zone’ this idea that if you don’t get the relationship to ‘heat up’ fast enough you will get stuck being ‘just friends’ for ever. Even the word friend starts to take a negative connotation, like it becomes senomonious with ‘not good enough’ or ‘not worth of love’ / something more. At the same time i know that becoming someones friend means you can have them around for life where if you are only romantically involved and not really friends, once the relationship is over that’s it. I’ve seen people who were dating stay friends for years after they broke up and possibly forever. I’ve also herd stories about people who were friends for years and years and finely at a certain point realizing that they wanted something more, even that they were perfect for each other. I think there is something essential that makes that difference. For me it is ‘party therapy’, it is being connected to the energy, harnessing the ‘good vibes’ of people and having self kindness, self love, being connected to yourself, etc. I believe if one can do this you can ‘break out’ of the friend zone, it does’t matter if you’ve been in that zone with someone for one year or 15 years, if you tap into the natural effortless ‘good vibes’ they will -feel- attracted to you to the point that they can’t help but want to be with you. it goes beyond logic. the friend zone becomes kind of like the matrix, it is possible to glitch out of the matrix, to unplug, by harnessing the power good vibes, and learning to be a more chill confident person. I notice i still have this fear of getting stuck in a friend zone, but maybe it is something i need to get over.

 

2019 note:

Please support me by buying my book so i can spend more time giving Natural Social Therapy (Party Therapy) to the world. I am struggling a lot with money and it is hard to get the project running or even make a basic living in today’s society.

For too long people have lived out entire lifetimes repeating basic trauma patterns and not living fulfilling lives while the rich blame the poor for being ‘unmotivated’ and many people suffer, suicide become the only way out for many. Our current society is not working. I think a better world is fully possible. All it takes is awareness.

It is Ok to be Attracted to Girls (the opposite sex)

This sounds like an obvious statement. However I used to think that it wasn’t ok to show girls you were attracted to them, not under any circumstances. I always got the feeling and the signal that they weren’t interested, and even looking at them, making eye contact could be bothersome for them. I felt the feelings were not appropriate to have at all, or even that women were ‘above’ those feelings that men had, and that I had to suppress or ignore them

However I was making a lot of false assumptions or assumptions that weren’t ‘quite true’. The assumptions came from a place of insecurity and self doubt. Low self image. There is a ‘right way’ to express those feelings, and it doesn’t even have to be that complicated. It’s just about simple stuff like saying “hello” and being around people and sending the right small yet appropriate signals. Not even to every single person, it’s ok just to say it to people you find interesting. Adding a little light hearted humor into the way you say things. And also a big one is approaching people / the opposite sex, in a way that is compassionate and helpful because frequently people are ‘dealing’ with something, and may appreciate a helping hand, literally or metaphorically, it often just means being their to listen. We think we have to use all these complex pickup-lines but often girls just want a guy who will be there to listen.

Now when I see girls I like, I am finding simple appropriate ways to let them know I like them. There is a right way and a wrong way to do this. And sometimes even if you know the right way, it might not work on certain people, like if they are too shy. Yet I’ve seen this work in all kinds of places, even at work where relationship are not allowed, I will be making tons of eye contact with cute girls/women and feeling connection and chemistry to them. It is all very ‘appropriate’. Yet keeping things appropriate allows me to feel lots of great feelings of connection or attraction without ever ‘crossing any lines.’

Even if a girl has a boyfriend she often won’t have a problem with this, because she will see you as a friend, yet the attraction will still be fully there, it is quite different from a ‘friend zone’ where she thinks you are safe or smart or reliable but feels no attraction. Just learning how to make more rhythmic eye contact and enjoy her company, focus less on your anxiety if you have that, is already a way to get out of this ‘friend zone’. I don’t agree that the friend zone is permanent, I think it can be changed in a single day if you have learned to cultivate chill and good vibes in yourself. They will always respond to the vibes and feel attracted and it isn’t about the words. Always make sure not to over-focus on her, in the moment or thought the day, cultivate good vibes through being around and enjoy the company of groups of different people, look for people you like ‘your peers’ people you think are cool, this will grow the incentive, and remind yourself ‘I deserve to be around people like this’.

Also it is very good to have many friends of the opposite sex, particular those you are attracted to, this will add to a seance of contentment so you don’t over-focus on one girl. See the beauty in many different people. As I like to say “I like all the flavors.” The blonds, red heads brunets, skinny girls, thick girls. They all have different yet special qualities. When I first began feeling attracting I would fixate on one or two girls and ignore 100 others. Now I notice just taking time to look at people more I will start to notice how attractive they are, some girls don’t stand out right away, their qualities are subtle, but when you notice them they can become very profound or even additive.

Once it took me 3 weeks to notice this girl was even attractive, but now I think she is the most cute and adorable girl I know. With some girls it is right away. Sometimes it takes me 5 seconds to notice a girl is really hot. Some qualities can be hidden at first, but when you are looking for them and know they are there you find them faster. Sure it sounds perverted in some aspects, yet by doing this I find myself noticing and feeling attracted to a broad spectrum of girls. I am seeing the unique qualities of a large group of different people. And it makes it way easier not to fixate on a specific girl.

I bumped into this pretty girl one the street who is the front desk secretary at work. I was like “hey!” I try to emote the emotion I feel in a simple way when I say hello. I don’t mean talking ‘louder’, that’s a common confusing that louder is better or more exciting. I just mean that I try to put the genuine emotion i am feeling into my voice and eyes. I notice often they will respond to that. She responded like “hey!” right back. I felt that she was fully responsive just to me showing some enthusiasm, she felt she could show it back. I haven’t had any real conversations with her before, but just giving her a “hey!” with a little energy seemed to create a connection with her the old me would have never known was possible. It was really ’emotion’ more then loudness. Just by choosing to ‘feel’ that emotion to attracted-ness or love for her, to focus on it and stir it back up in that moment as i say “hey” she can actually feel what I am feeling.

This is because emotions are chemicals in the brain and those chemicals will teleport over to her mirror neurons, just kidding, I find our current scientific view to be confining, even primitive. I like to see the emotions as energetic electric (or bioptotonic) waves or pulses generated from the heart. The chemicals and hormones are part of it, but the energetic wave part may be even more important.

Often people just ‘get louder’ to show you they are interested, this really irritates me actually, and it’s funny because when I was trying to get girls i did this all the time. It’s funny when people are like shouting in your face “hello! good morning!” And you are like “hey…” ‘back up a bit’. It’s like they are disappointed you didn’t congratulate them on their great social skills. Often these shouter type people are the ones telling me to work on my social skills. I’m like, ok, whatever you say. Often this being loud and socially forceful is what passes for ‘great social skills’ or a ‘social role-model’ in our society, it really pisses me off. Then when people get irritated by it that type of person will be like “oh it is because they don’t have social skills. they are just ‘struggling’.”

It’s annoying that being yourself is considered ‘struggling’ to some people. Going at your own pace, taking time to yourself. Not enjoying people who are forceful hyper or condescending. I’ve seen this with lots of people and not just me. If you socialize in a different way that doesn’t mean you need to read 10 self improvement books and go to rigorous yoga classes every day, you don’t need a big depressing intervention and social shaming for your ‘problem’. Maybe the way you socialize is right for you. People will always say heavy/serious and confusing things about how you need to ‘improve’ yourself. It’s a mindfuck and I’ve been so much better off ever since i just stared turning in out. I’m not ‘hiding’ or running from the truth. I just finally after many years realized that all that self improvement stuff wasn’t working for me, a lot of it is bullshit. I was running in circles all my life. Finally i realized that the common wisdom of ‘trying hard and harder’ just didn’t make sense. I socialize in my own different way, and i am way happier then i have ever been, I hang around more but i have my own totally unique methods. I just enjoy myself mostly. I see myself as worthy. Girls dig me now.

It is funny there are a bunch of people who tell me about how I am “struggling.” Because i have my own way of doing this. I’m like “I am actually a lot better then I have ever been.” The old me never got girls. But he was academically and athletically a success. I could get A’s and B’s. I could run 5 or even 10 miles a few times each week. I did martial arts. I meditated a lot. I had discipline. I was a success in many ways, but my heart was overcome by a deep emptiness. Things like love and creativity, the things that really mattered to my heart, they eluded me, i was always ‘blocked’ creatively and socially. I’m so much more satisfied now. Yet people are always looking to improve something, even now.

People are always looking to improve or tell others how to improve, but it actually becomes a deceptive pursuit. I’m like “Actually I am pretty content, I think I turned out really well.” I’ve been through some difficult situations but I have skills to handle it well, I really beat the odds. People with higher authority roles over me tell me I need to learn to love myself, that I’m not motivated, that I expect something for nothing, that I am biased by privilege, that I need to improve my social skills, they say all kinds of funny things when I don’t just ‘do what they say’ it’s a way of controlling you. It’s not real. People live there lives conforming to patterns that don’t really benefit anyone, and it is scary when you question those patterns. Because it means that they really have been hurting themselves and others all this time.

There are actually lots of beautiful girls at my work. Guess I lucked out… though I’m not allowed to have relationships with them, that’s the catch, yet I feel great being around them and I develop friendships with them. The old me would have focused on one of them and been sad that it never amounted to anything more. Now I focus on a who range of people and or girls, but I work on my friend connections with all of them. It’s not really a ‘friend zone’ because I feel chemistry with them, some more then others, it feels like good practice for the real thing. It is good experience and it also makes me seem popular or desirable. Maybe that sounds superficial but it helps when a girl comes along who actually is available. This really amazing hot girl came into my life recently and I will wright about that more in another post.

 

 

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Depletion vs Depression vs Stress

Depletion is different from, yet can make our bodies more susceptible to, stress or depression. This was a side note in another article, but then I realized it deserved it’s own article.

I call this low energy state ‘depletion’ or ‘drain’ but it is NOT the same as depression… and not the same as sadness, even though they all can feed into each other. Depletion is an absence of phonic light energy in the body, like physical exhaustion, while sadness is an emotional response to an event or circumstance. This is not a clear distinction at all for many people, but it is very distinct and can be offensive to confuse them. Depletion is also not the same as stress, yet a depleted body is weak and will succumb of physical strain or stress much more easily, so they are connected in that way. Our society knows a lot about stress, but for me -depletion- (cellular energetic depletion) is an even bigger underlying root problem we know almost nothing about too often. For a while I was even calling depletion depression and then I had this moment where I was like, “wait, these are two importantly different things”, but when people repeat something a lot, it boggles your brain, it influences you. You want to say what is ready to be understood, yet you don’t want to be a sucker and completely give up on the point you were making just because your afraid of push back.

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Depletion is about the absence of energies our eyes can’t see (waves of light and sound, and magnetism), though we CAN see the EFFECTS of this energy or the effects of its absence. On the other hand, we often blame stress or anxiety because they seem like more tangible phenomenon, easier to spot and articulate, yet it’s really only half or 45% of the story. In fact if I have a hard day I will tell people i’m stressed because they get that right away, if I tell them I’m depleted they don’t know what i’m talking about, or think that I’m depressed and try to talk it out of me. If you say exhausted that implies you were working out, but you can become very depleted just from standing still too long, being still to long is actually uncomfortable for the body and causes energy to leek out. You can become depleted just form being near stressful, or depleted, people too long, or being stuck in a very blank drab un-stimulating room. Or taking refuge from the boredom of school or work in a place that has no people. Board during the day and socially depleted in the evening. Sometimes people can be together we but the community isn’t right, no one is having fun. It takes a larger community to undo depletion sometimes, a couple anxious friendships just aren’t enough to make up for an absence of connection and harmony and fun in the larger community.

Depression is its own significant and different thing, it may not be a choice, it can be deep built up sadness caused by many absences or negative events happening over years. I may not be doing depression justice, this article is more about depletion so i’ll stick to what i know, and the definitions have been been blurred, i wonder that a lot of what we call depression stress or anxiety in my mind is really rooted in and caused by depletion. And the words do matter because they can have different implications. The word -depletion- hits home for me that many of these problems are rooted in a physical absence of energy in the cells, not just an emotion or a ‘choice’ that certain people are not making… and not laziness or a lack of will power either.

Now I think there are many cases of depletion that are misdiagnosed as depression. A depleted person is very motivated, and struggling with the physical limitations that their body just can’t do the things they want to or feel connected to people for some reason.  Antidepressants may not do the trick. Many doctors are dying to hand them out and convince you that you have depression or one of their many diagnoses that you may not have at all. Many of these so-called disorders really I find have very little to do with the mind and the brain or permanent brain damage.. that is possible, even then damage may not be in the mind maybe another places of the body. I find a lot of these so-called disorders can be healed through the right kinds of environments through the energy of people practicing being around people every day and learning to enjoy the company of others and not see others as threatening. These  experiences of being blocked or having invisible walls in life can be healed through the power of play, learning and practicing how to play in harmony with others and enjoy yourself with others and practicing experiencing this every day just for a few weeks or months.  Bringing a variety of different types of play into your day and learning to cultivate that enjoyment, that feeling in your heart. and not getting obsessed over one singular activity  over and over for weeks and weeks, but having a variety of different ways of having a fun, yet not straining or forcing your body.  I find playful experiences with others such as going on a trip an adventure with people whom I like, to be extremely healing and transformative of all my physical problems or feelings of being blocked. things like medication have actually left me sedated, increasingly tired,  different pills I’ve tried that were recommended by doctors have left me worse off. I find doctors actually persist to give me them sometimes  I want to make things worse.  it’s almost like they do this out of this intense compulsion or force of habit.  This Fear to question or go against the norm. Despite all the great results I’ve got in from the power of people and play doctors still  whimsically handout meds to, I don’t know, millions of people I’m afraid to imagine the number.  Even things like a lot of the social coaching I’ve got and the mandatory karate lessons left me feeling exhausted and burnt out, feeling like making friends is this agonizing effort but never quite gives back what you want and the people you’re really attracted to always seem unattainable.  School ever did was teach me to place my intellect before my feelings and desires to top me to feel insecure like I had to impress friends by being a really smart genius person I didn’t realize I was doing it but I was always trying to be his cleverness to when our friends but my mind will just go blank from the pressure of not having any creative are good ideas I could never  Santa follow what people are talking about but it was only because I was stressed because I was making things so much more complicated than they ever needed to be her middle school just over complicated everything and took the fun out of life. Now just being around groups of people, sometimes in the festival type atmosphere when possible, I get my daily or weekly dose of human energy I just receive the energy now, go to the places that make me feel good when possible, and I don’t see it as an effort or challenge at all it’s just like eating food. I practice this playful attitude and I just be around people and it’s very effortless and I get way more results than I did with anything else before. sometimes attractive girls walk up to me and after a few days  my top pick girl is spending entire days with me back to back and she’s holding my hand and kissing me 3 times in one day. And it all feels very natural like the way it always supposed to have been. I nearly did anything.  I kept meeting her eyes and then she would say “hey get over here!” and I would just follow her.  That’s the most rewarding feeling when a babe is telling you “get over here”.  Everything society taught me I felt so forced and calculated I could never seem to access this inner energy and power in myself. I really have to cultivate that just through a pure enjoyment an almost indulgent enjoyment of being in the company of people and people I like and places I like when possible.. AND having an attitude of play even in difficult situations. equally making the most of difficult places or circumstances by always finding the fun in my job, in class, even when I have to work a mundane job, enjoying the company of all the people at that job. But still it is really just about enjoyment and not force and pain and agony the way I was raised. (sorry I’m using text to speech now and it has an atrocious errors I’m gonna have to go back and fix them)  entire life seems like a joke holding this girls hand and it happened so effortlessly it’s almost like she’s coming onto me I didn’t even do anything she was rubbing her ass on my crotch and grabbing my hand and dragging me down the halls it’s exhilarating and unreal like I don’t even know it’s happening anymore. I used  to put so much thought into getting the right timing and I’ll grab a girls hand just to have her let go or pull away.  It’s sort of like that scene in the movie office space I’m just having a party all the time now everything I was doing before it’s just a joke, endlessly tinkering away for years at tedious art projects hoping that one day I would be famous and have a girlfriend.  Or becoming the fastest runner on my team and running these 8 mile runs and still feel like a loser who has no friends for some reason.  All this effort was absolutely for no reason. now all I do is imagine that I’m always having a party, it’s just this ‘party attitude’ and good things just keep building up.  I treat others with compassion for the suffering and challenges they go through that often get overlooked yet I’m always having fun even the compassion is part of the fun because it opens the way at all that connected energy human, to the adventure of leaning about people. Even talking about my problems can be fun because it helps me relate to people and them relate to me.

Depletion is a significant absence of energy that effects the material body, it can be caused by many things, and often is caused by many things at once, not just one, or rather the absence of many things or factors that should be there. It’s illusive because the body can repel or bounce back from one negative element, so we can never find that ‘one cause’ depletion usually happens when there are so many negative elements in ones life, that it causes their energetic body to collapse in on itself. It requires many cures, or positive influences. That’s why one ‘cure’ may not be enough. The body is strong and often it takes more then one thing to bring it down, in many cases. So lets explore all those factors!

Environment matters a lot. I often see coaches working with depleted people and trying to ‘motivate’ them out of it. And this is what leads to the viscous cycle of stress, we think we are not good enough, never trying hard enough, if i just try ‘harder’ it will work.. it never does. The truth is being depleted is actually very hard already, and the solution is to soak up some good energy. To find the right environments, the right self-talk, learning to treat yourself with kindness, learning you deserve to put yourself in places that make you feel good, hang around people that make you feel good. rearranging your furniture, bringing more color and light into your house, putting up pictures that make you feel good, putting your well-being first. being around others, yet not chasing and sacrificing yourself for them. you can’t ‘motivate’ the photons back into your bodies cells. it’s actually a very enjoyable process, it’s about finding the rhythm and practice reining these energies. I spent a long time battling and stressing and motivating myself to succeed, but i found it very fruitless, stress that creates more stress, it eventually leads to a kind of insanity, and your willing to do anything and believe anything (i see this all the time), and that only gives fuel to the idea that ‘trying harder’ in this self forceful way will lead to results. At the end of the day i’m not offering immortality, it’s just a series of subtle yet significant shifts…. It can be easy to say ‘open more windows?’ that’s not that important’, or ‘decorate my house with colorful inspiring posters?’ i’ll get to that another time, or ‘variety sounds good but i like this activity more, so i will do this one activity all day’, yet when you combine all these energetic benefits, your standard of wellness can increase a lot, it magnetically shifts the body/heart, to create an upwards pull, your own gravitational center if you will, you cultivate enough personal satisfaction or deep vital energy, that you over come the exhaustive pull over gravity (not enough to fly) but you body will feel a lot lighter and more agile.

It’s a critical mass, where the positive forces in your life overcome the negative forces, it involves everyone and everything, but you don’t have to think about it all or make it complicated, it’s a lot of subtle benefits, but it adds up to create a dramatic shift, where now effortless momentum, photonic and magnetic energy, is working in your personal favor. before it was bleeding out into the ground. but now reaching a certain mass of energy, it becomes perpetual motion, ‘flow’ as many call it (without always explaining all the forces involved) and this body energy can make so many parts of life a lot easier and more beneficial to people around you. a depleted body suffers AND pulls people around them down too, like a black hole, it sucks in so many ways and is the hardest thing ever. Cultivate a critical mass of energy, and you benefit and others benefit. depleted people are not bad or lazy. There are so many stigmas about this it is crazy. When we realize that people who fall into the pull of gravity, these downward energies, and actually just waiting for their potential energy to be unblocked, we begin to see many more people as comrades, and support and love them rather then criticize them because we think they are ‘not trying’, which can’t be farther from the truth.

 

2019 note:

Please support me by buying my book so I can spend more time giving Natural Social Therapy (Party Therapy) to the world. I am struggling a lot with money and it is hard to get the project running or even make a basic living in today’s society.

For too long people have lived out entire lifetimes repeating basic trauma patterns and not living fulfilling lives while the rich blame the poor for being ‘unmotivated’ and many people suffer, suicide become the only way out for many. Our current society is not working. I think a better world is fully possible. All it takes is awareness.

Please support us by buying books and merchandise and spreading awareness so we can devote more time to writing and spreading the party therapy message. The world has enough suffering. Healing is not about suffering. It’s about unlearning all those old habits, and learning just to be kind to yourself! My girlfriend and I are motivated yet we are struggling financially to get on our feet.

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Thanks to all the amazing people that have supported and followed this blog recently! Much more then I expected! I have some new material, but some of my best stuff is already up, so I want to circulate it a bit more! I don’t know if there is a way to direct message people, so I will thank you here!

 

Too often Pain & Sadness is mistaken for Anger & Disapproval

Sometimes we grow up feeling like we aren’t good enough. By default we expect to have to ‘earn’ others approval. That if we don’t ‘try’ or do anything impressive, our natural normal relaxed self will be disliked.

Another could be tired, exhausted, lonely, depressed, sad, about something that has nothing to do with us, yet in this ‘I’m not good enough state’, it becomes about us, we read our fears into their tiredness, we think they are tired with us, they are disapproving of us. However so often people are really just exhausted with things that have nothing to do with us, this person they just met, or a near aquenace, they aren’t really judging you very much at all, so when getting to know people, it’s really essential to see that their pain has nothing to do with us, it is not caused by something ‘we did’ just now, it has a deep history that has nothing to do with us. Then we can separate their pain from us. And people and strangers become much more approachable. When I come from a place of trust and self trust, instead of self doubt, then it becomes easier to see that this person is frequently not mad with me, that they are in fact actually sad or in pain about what can be a great many things starting before you arrived or years ago, you might just call it the inherent pain of life.

Not taking their pain personally, and not expecting them to be happy, seeing that it is ok to be drained or dogruntled actually allows the other person to feel safe, they can let down their guard, and don’t have to always ‘act happy’ they don’t have to worry about the stress of doing that. They don’t have to act happy purely to protect us from taking sadness or lameness personal, because they can see that we are accepting of all the moods. This humanness is actually a place for deeer connection than the forced happy. They see we had a hard day to and they feel our humanity. They feel closer to us, and may tell us something deep about their day they would not have said if they felt pressure to be upbeat or nice. Sometimes all the niceness becomes like a cover to protect from the fear of the silence between people, it creates pressure for everyone to act nice and upbeat yet then the sad emotions and personal human struggles never come out so we feel strangely distanced. The ‘nice guys finish last’ thing. The sadness or pain becomes a good thing, because we have accept it is there, is not about us, and it becomes something we can have compassion for, an opening to connect, a reason to just be together and listen, or lower standards and expectations. it takes off the stress of having to pretend everything is “great” all the time. We can worry less about offending each other and take more time just enjoying ourselves in each others company.

Yin Yang Haruhi

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Awakening the Innate Intelligence

Play is flowing with each enjoyment of life, then letting go of each joy and worry, to move on to the next positive playful focus. Finding that letting go into the flow of each cosmic event, actually strengthens our memory, our ability to recall that facts we need exactly when we need them with mere detail, more creative spin and new synaptic connections. Allowing some details to go forgotten, trusting our body is already doing all it needs to do to be all we need to be, this act of forgetting, letting go, actually strengths our ability to instantly & clearly recall the things that matter. By focusing on the fun more of the time, the ‘innate intelligence’ emerges on its own, it will be there, on it’s own. Because too often our society does not allow this ‘already present’ intelligence the time it needs to emerge and blossom on its own. Play is the fuel for the mind. Positive relaxing stimulating environment supports neuron generation. Play and relax at your own pace around others. Play and relaxing are both seen as legure activites, as unproductive in our society, this is why we alloys feel so stiff and dry and lonely. Doing something simple like playing and relaxing around others actually takes a kind of activism, to stand up to the rules that don’t make sense, or at lest meet the needs of your heart, do what you want and need, what makes you feel right, even when others seem to constantly tell you not to.

 

Getting high on what the group thinks

Trading in Better Judgment to get High on Group Opinions; the riptide of an unrealized/unfun and overly disciplined community

When groups gather and unite in their beliefs it creates a high feeling in every person. This can be amazing. Yet this also has a history of backfiring, in cases of Natzis or people ‘drinking the kool-aid’, people disregard science, their own intuition or health, or the heath of outsiders for the sake of uniting in their group, the high feeling this brings. The group mind-frame or shared opinion itself becomes magnetic powerful even addictive, because thinking of it links us back to all those memories and feelings of the energy that came from people, we associate the idea, the pill, the chore or the activity with the energy high.. instead of associating that good feeling with people themselves; we become intoxicated on whatever the group thinks, even when it is detrimental the the planet. Some of these group mentalities are obvious, like when people used to believe the earth was flat or the earth was the center of the universe and reject other ideas or people that still don’t believe in evolution… yet many of these ‘group mentalities’ that are just as absurd remain hidden, they have a way of blending in and seeming passible if you are not the victim of them, we don’t notice the suffering this copycat behavior causes. They get taken for fact. We distrust our long term friends in favor of mass public opinion, the things our fathers were told by their fathers who were told by there fathers. “This idea has been around, it has ‘worked’ for so many hundreds or thousands of years, so that must be proof of it’s effectiveness” we naturally think, yet an underlying element is being masked, the contagiousness of mass human thinking, and the tendency to cling to the familiar in favor of the unknown. We hold onto the familiar even to our detriment. The heart thrives on movement, change and play, free form creative silly human interaction without judgment without control… yet the fear of uncertainty exists on mass scale, it holds us back from our potential. It creates these large channels of control behavior throughout society. This needs a good term like ‘herd mentally’ or ‘mimesis’ or lemming behavior.. Perhaps ‘social riptide’. It’s like the undercurrent of something that is mostly good. I’ve also called it a false reward system, we keep coming back for a reward that seems close but is really impossibly far away, a horse that is chasing a carrot on a string. Countless people are pulled into these ruts of absurd routines that we all know don’t really make sense, yet it is just so hard to shift them, it’s easier to comply and accept our pay at the end of the day. We trade in fact or our better judgment, the whisper our heart is telling us.. for an pseudo feeling of connectedness created through preforming tasks that masses of others also take part in, it creates this sense of unity and power that is real, it adds up to being ‘good enough’ yet it prevents us from really questioning some of these menial tasks and beliefs, we give up on there being something better. The world is full of many depleted or even injured people that are being treated like they have some kind of mental problem. Some peoples lives are so devoid of fun and friendship that it becomes physically damaging over the years, then they are given some random label out of a hat like “autistic, add, bi-poloar, adhd, schizophrenic, psychotic, borderline personality” it gets repeated and repeated. We are taught simplistic and pointless skills we already know. When I see a seriously injured or starving person I sometimes make the joke to myself “he must be autistic” because this is basically the way doctors think. It’s a cruel joke so I don’t say it, yet people are starving without relationship or meaning in their lives, living in constant low energy and stress.. and doctors call them “autistic”, they might as well be starving or victims of war and disease. This thinking keeps us focused on our own problems, it keeps us ‘self-improving’ instead of focusing on positive self image, having an I’m ‘already awesome’ mentality that is needed for healing, it keeps us insecure, it might all be ok if there was more value in creating fun safe healthy relationships in society. We learn to ‘prove’ our worth to other people, instead of how to enjoy being around people, we feel we are not ‘exciting’ or important enough already, we get caught in a stress loop of always improving, it’s never enough, it prevents us from taking time to really enjoy the feeling of having fun with others day after day, from that fun really charisma can blossom. Yesterday someone my mom hired was teaching me how to “ask for things” so much of my life has been spent learning things i already know. At one point in high school someone came to my house to teach me how to sound out consonants and vowels, as though school wasn’t already an endless overflow of dry lifeless data. It feels like there just aren’t enough places where people gather just to have fun, there is always some demeaning label attached like “we are here to fix your learning disability or social disability” or something. These terms teach people they aren’t equal, they don’t have worth, they have to spend life “overcoming” themselves, overcoming something basic in their bodies, that we should dislike our selves or our own minds, this is a stressful way to live. You need to really love your body and mind, to see yourself as brilliant, (even if you have some sever brain damage) we really need this type of self loving view to heal. The ‘self-imporivng’ view sounds great, yet it is a stressful way to live. I was just watching an interview and I read in the comments that the actor was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Great yet another person diagnosed with some rediclious disorder. As though he has ‘two personalities’. He probbably just got tired over years of being teased for his unpopular roal, maybe years of being lonely, not finding meaning in our twisted society. You could call it ‘two personalities’ or you could just call it being angry. More like being really really angry and defeated in life.

The group seems too contrived, yet it can be ‘good enough’.. Being alone feels liberating at first (like when Elsa ‘lets it go!’), we can finally do whatever free creative thing we want, yet soon this too doesn’t feel right, we become lonely, worse, we become empty. Either way we can’t win. Eventually we crawl back to society.  There is a third option, to change society, but it doesn’t have to be all that overwhelming. It can start simply by changing the way we are around people. The ripple effect of an attitude, a way of being, and small daily actions.

We get a high from connecting to ‘society’ simply because it involves many people, yet that society is full of habit, drone behavior that is no where never its full creative potential. We trust the ‘word,’ the rules of society, when it is really the people in that society that are giving us the good feeling. That feeling is just the tip of what it could be, if each person followed their creative impulse together in the group. Having fun on the large adult scale is considered so unconventional in our current world. We can shift society. The sleeping impulse for fun is in everyone. Our creative and compassionate potential is untapped in part because of the weight of the ancient patterns of many minds. And also because it is part of our learning. Having fun on the group scale is a technology in a way. A method of harnessing human energy. I call it the ‘light-play intelligence’. It is an intelligence of the heart. The heart is like an engine that runs on the ‘dual fuel’ of human energy and having fun. Having fun means having fun, yet also finding the fun in the practical tasks of life. It is natural, yet it can be learned. Learning why fun matters makes us more resilient to the habitual patterns that try to dry up our good time. Shifting just 10% of society is a movement for example, it is enough to make the spread become increasingly contagious. Putting values like self love self kindness, community creativity and equality first. So many people think they need to be better stronger faster smatter, the stressful rat race to nowhere. We can reprogram the world, we start by simply believing it is possible each day. Giving it time even when the effects seem small. The ripple effect is small at first yet it becomes increasingly powerful.

 

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Harnessing Sexual Energy

Sexual Energy Cultivation

This section is only true for the male body but as women it could help to understand too.

I struggled allot feeling depleted even as a young teen. I remember a time when life just seemed to become more depressing and I didn’t know why. At the point in my life when I was being spiritual and motivated to the highest degree, I once went an entire year where I only masturbated 4 times. During this year my energy was much higher then ever before, and my social charisma, I also spend time working an internship at a spiritual retreat I enjoyed, and meeting women with my dating coach. Yet I felt a clear connection between not masturbating and energy increase. I had heard some yogis speak of this and I thought it was worth seeing how far I could draw it out, just how much energy could I get from this. the thing was I really didn’t understand why it worked, and that made me both more likely to give in later on, and more likely to be too hard on myself. I became about denying myself all desire, I thought this brought me life energy, but I was wrong.. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

my journey finding a formula

I was years later that I put it together, I found a formula. After years of denying myself all types of desires like the buddha I became very week and decrepit. I experimented a lot and eventually figured out masturbation was totally heathy in a way i now feel definitive about and actually produced a degree of energy through positive emotional and pleasure stimulation. The energetic losses and gains had to do with ejaculation and sperm. I found that by not ejaculation for days and weeks I would already see significant increase in my energy. I believe this is true for all mean. it has to do with the energy seamen contain, it is the energy of stem cells, incredible energy to produce newborn life in just one cell in millions we have and expend when we cum.

Now I enjoy the masturbation but tend not to cum very often, I just get board, the first part is enjoyable and enhanced by my increased energy, the end part is short and sweet, yet not worth feeling down for days afterwards. I tend to save it up. Yogis and buddhism can become too much about denying pleasure and I no longer promote this at all. There are two ways to get the energy increase, maybe three ways. One you just don’t masturbate that often, two you masturbate but don’t ejaculate, I prefer this or a mixture, but it takes a degree of self control or skill, but this control is easier when you express the energy increase, and cuming is totally healthy and important now and then, I still like it now and then just for the sake of it, but it can be like eating a giant cake, I don’t go there all the time.

balancing energies

Important to note, this withdrawal from ejaculation has to be done in combination with playful social activity, or manful creative activity, and time spent around people, sunlight, groups of people, in relaxed playful connections, you have to get the other healthy experience and energies of life and spend time in places and environments that make you feel good, having a playful attitude that helps you feel good. If you just are alone in a room for a year and don’t masturbate at all, it won’t increase your energy, your sperm will increase, but the lack of fun and sunlight will greatly outweigh that increase, this took a very long time for me to understand even after closely paying attention to subtle details for many years making it my life mission to understand my body and how to tap it’s energy.

The Benefits

Just going 3 days with out ejaculating, your energy will increase, your social charisma, attractiveness to the opposite sex, physical health, deep inner energy and power, strength, the increase in sperm cells will increase the energy of your entire body. This is my special hack, you can masturbate, just don’t ejaculate if you desire to experience this increase. I find this had been an important source of energy in my life, and has turned EVERYTHING around, it has got me success with women, women sitting in my lap, literally; things that would never have happened to the old me who masturbated and ejaculated EVERY DAY that was where all my energy was going as a teen, ever since I started ejaculating, my body was dumping a big portion of it’s energy into the waist bin. All that life force in the trash. It’s hard not to get that sweet final orgasm at first, but it gets a lot easier, the increase for me is so drastic that I don’t even think about it.

masturbating vs ejaculating

As a semi side note, masturbating less tends to make the masturbating more exciting. Many of us get addicted to it like a drug, I don’t recommend masturbating twice or more a day for anyone, I tend to do it once every two days on average, sometimes it’s juts once a week, I really don’t think about it. I could call this article the benefits or reduced ejaculation, but I wanted to ease you into it and say how and why first.

the limits / no limits

If you go longer and longer without ejaculating your body keeps saving the sperm and now there is more life energy flowing through your blood, your sack can reach full capacity after just 3 or 4 days of not masturbating, yet once the ‘glass is full’ so to speak, the ‘tank is full,’ now you are just beginning to reap that energy benefit. You can go on expressing energy increases for weeks and weeks if you can hold off that long. It’s great because you can do this however you choose, you can hold off a little on the ejaculation every week and experience benefits, you could stop totally for multiple weeks if you really feel compelled by this and just want to see how far your energy can increase. Some have gone years without doing it, but that is not required, I experience significant benefits and my social and emotional health, my social charisma and creative all increase after just days of not ejaculating, after weeks there is even more benefit, and I can masturbate as much as I want if I don’t cum, that takes skill and if you go at it too often eventually you get tired and come.

Even if I was significantly injured, I think this would still be a non-decision, I ejaculate rarely, because the increase of energy I get is so drastic it is always with it. It is even fun to see how long I can go without giving in. You can be easy on yourself and get plenty of benefits still. Start with ejaculating less, like once every three or four days, then try to go a week without. If you don’t experience benefits then you can stop, or start rather. But just this should be enough. Look for increased magnetism with the opposite sex. Increased emotions in your chest, particularly when you make eye contact with people. Good luck!