Working too Hard? (excessive exercise, excessive meditation, ‘social skills’, & over self sacrifice)

Yeah this is the big one. Lots of time is spent sitting still at work, even in free time we keep working, reaching for distant dreams. We become molded by a pervasive culture of stress, stillness, and drain. It’s all around us, but we can’t see it, it’s just ‘normal’.

It’s not just what we’re doing, but if we enjoy doing it. One can enjoy life even when the body is seemingly still on the surface, your thoughts feelings internal energy can rise. Yet enjoyment is not an easy thing to learn. Sometimes it takes courage just to enjoy and be ourselves if it’s not the common way around us.

Meditation is one method of drawing attention to the present, yet one has to be carful; We keep focus on a ‘still clear present’ mind during the day. But not a fun mind, not a creative mind. Problems could be right in front of us, but we miss them because we’re stiff, too still, drained. (there is a lot of promotion of “stillness”, meditation, clear mind, and leaving it at that without also mentioning the other side, how stillness can become a drain without enjoyment, a playful perspective of life) Ironically over-focused attention leads to dry energy, it stops being fun, we don’t feed our bodies, and we actually miss things. We are still and we miss the fun, we loose energy. More and more people meditate, but now you have all this stiffness, dry energy. A body that remains still for too long, actually starts to loose energy. An enlightenment that never comes. A master could come and say ‘these mediators still have ego, they just don’t get it yet’ but maybe the problem is that so many meditators are ‘too dedicated’. Matter is always in motion, but that gets forgotten. Subtle but powerful, staying true to natural motion seems scary. My body wants to move or have fun, but I don’t understand why, I feel like I need an explanation or reason to justify my actions before others.

Joy/uplift and social connection/fun is a bit more ‘dynamic’ but dynamic seems scary, so it’s easy to follow the herd, we just end up sitting there and sitting there. or working and working with diminishing returns. herd mentality support of mediation blindspots that even this has a dark side. That relaxing in a fundamental way, involves enjoying, letting loose. Social fun isn’t something that’s not as easy as it sounds. It gets forgotten. Perhaps healthy fun is the hardest lesson, we should teach or role model.

Not to mention all the ‘get fit’ stuff, singular or excessive focus on exercise, with no inclusion of the energetic body.  I myself can get fit while lounging in the park, siting in a restaurant; WHAT yes: just feeing off the laughter merriment and light energy of people around me. Good feelings+experience give my body a physiological benefit.

I used to just wait and wait for the food to come, only focused on the pleasure sensors in my brain. Now I’m enjoying a myriad of subtle energy sources and finding play in everything, the conversation. Feeding light energy to the physical cells of my heart. I go to the gym too sometimes, but because it’s fun, adventure.

Maybe I’m diligently doing yoga or meditating every morning, but I’m not simply enjoying my self, my life in general. My body builds muscles, but on the cellular and energetic level / internally, I’m becoming stiff. Drying out. Because I’m not enjoying myself. Not feeding the energetic body, the light/photon energy in my cells. What’s going on inside your heart and body matters. Fun feeds the cells, but how do you quantify fun? To the heart having fun feels easy and satisfying, but around people we forget this at times, we start looking for a more cut and dry answer, then something as simple as fun, becomes illusive. The answer is in the heart. Fun feels good. We are constantly reliving a myriad of energies around us. Enjoying the good perceptions feelings and sensations, more good feelings build. Creating vibrational genesis that creates actual energy.

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People running and lifting, the same routine each day months and years, but a lonely exhausted heart remains, you get great muscles, big muscles, tight abbs, but look down to the cellular level, and there is no energy, vita, life force. There are so many other more dynamic subtle ways to vitalize energy all around me if I simply notice and enjoy them.

Maybe I’m a confidence coach and I’m teaching people to be confident. We are trained to ’speak up’, talk ‘louder’. We form association that being connected and forcing effort are the same thing. We learn a series of ‘social skills’ without also taking into account what we feel. Subtle feelings of connection that build. Noticing if we feel afraid in the gaze of others. If we enjoy looking at each other. So much of current teaching can just be external action without the other, the feeling.

Maybe I work at a soup kitchen and I’m being ‘of service’ for spiritual gain/reason. … I’m putting in the hours and work — and yet, unknown to me, 1. I don’t feel worthy of eye contact/ ‘hanging around’ people just because, or 2. I don’t know how to find fun in what I do, I’m so used to feeling empty/stressed that I identify this as a good thing. .. Inside my body attention becomes magnetized to negative sensations that drains physical body energy keeping the body feeling negative/empty. We my sacrifice the self for others as way to fill the void. We get mixed results yet without a better solution we identify or justify negative signs as ‘progress’, ‘pain is gain’ total bull. So many things that can go wrong only focusing on the physical action without also the internal.

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the Power of Play

Say I’m playing tennis, sparring an opponent, playing piano, even playing a video game, I’m actually using ‘play’, my enjoyment of the act, to generate energy and become better at what I’m doing while I’m doing it. If I’m sparring an opponent: I’m feeding off their natural human energy field, and enjoying the act of sparing, feeling all these stimulated energies, enjoying the strategy of the match, enjoying my outward perceptions – while at the same time I do the practical action, a punch a kick, (or hitting the tennis ball). Letting actions happen without much effort. Always balancing between practical/physical action, yet slowing down to enjoy the process of what I’m doing, feeling my connection to the environment. The feed of color and energy it gives me. Feeling my own growing heart energy or feelings of aliveness. Enjoying the rise of the other persons energy. Basking in the growing current circulating between us.

I see play as an actively healing force, for adults and kids. Both a playful perspective, to find fun and build good feeling, and play in action. It sounds almost too easy, yet when I was around people, I would freeze up, thinking more and more, but never quite connected. I forgot simply to enjoy, to play. That was my blind spot. Along with not seeing myself as ‘already good’. Something so basic, became illusive. Always reaching, yet getting further away. I did all kinds of extreme meditations, confidence work, before arriving at this kinder towards self understanding. In the past I might expose my ‘play’ self with an old friend. But with larger groups or new people, I would stiffen, over focus on the words, and forget to actually enjoy myself. Play can take a little courage, simply to drop who I think I need to be. Not the courage to fight a battle, the courage not to (dude I’m messing with your mind). To reveal the self that just enjoys, in the same way I do when I’m alone watching my favorite show. Not reaching too hard for external things, but enjoying what is felt now. I reveal I am ‘weird’, even then it is actually good, the unusual moment becomes an excuse to create more play.

I had this amazing connected camp experience back when in teeny years. Someone said “loosen up, have fun.” A few days with this on my mind. And it was amazing. Hugging. New friends. Yet the experience eventually was lost, faded to memory. You have this sound bite of wisdom “loosen up, have fun” that applies to a field of people / friends, for a period of time. I can loosen up and have fun at home, but it doesn’t have the full effect. Your back in daily life, others get caught in work school patterns, the atmosphere of fun and natural connection fades a lot, so it’s harder to find. Soon I forget even to have fun when I’m alone. We work and work, yet does the stress even help us get more done?

Attraction and love isn’t just ‘etherial magic.’ Both play and natural human presence builds actual physical-eletric energy in the body; heart field energy – particle and wave energetics. Magnetic energy. Heat and sound too. Vibrations creating more vibrations. Actual photons, partial energy, is constantly bouncing off us weather we want it to or not. (My electrons sharing with your electrons, it’s an orgy of partices and waves) The energy is going somewhere, negative or positive, we might as well take control. Gradually over 10 seconds, minutes, hours, electrical pulses generate magnetic uplift, good energy builds and builds. Play and relaxed enjoyment releases stress, both setting energy free, and allowing the body to receive more fresh energy.

Play and environmental feeds create energy when alone; and in the social field it is even more effective – combining/multiplying with the energies of other people to create good health & satisfaction for all in the groups effect range. When you look at something person or object, you only see it because light is bouncing off it and hitting your eyes. That light can travel quite far. The visual is actual photon energy. Colors are different frequencies. Even more fun vibrations to subtly uplift you. Giving the heart a little boost when I notice and bask in it. Gradually building energy.

SocialFieldBiophotonEnergeticsStressful thoughts or over focus on past worries, distant abstractions: creates stress, makes it harder for the body to receive / notice these sources of light and play. Receiving these energies is vitalizing, and at the same time, our bodies themselves are in motion, so play is remembering to enjoy in or express that motion. I don’t just wait hours and hours for the light to fill me (I’ve actually done this in my learning process, you get some effect, but play when used in addion to light awareness you get more empowering results/traits, interacting with people, creative fruition,  even more body energy/health), because now I’m just ‘waiting’ and I miss the play. Waiting too long it gets boring, stiff (yet many monks will do this, because we don’t have a better answer, getting a little energy feed, but not the full picture). At the same time if I just play and don’t relax/ enjoy light, I can over-stress my muscles, exhausting more then is created. I play and at the same time take time just to bask in that light feed. There is this balance. Your body learns to get the hang of it. It wants to happen, but our bodies learn to repress it, it seems weird embarrassing silly not important.

We must give ourselves permission. For the heart it is important. We find enjoyment in an adapt to different situations. We balance the right amount of enjoying/receiving and action/play at any moment. It feels increasingly easy intuitive fulfilling.

I also find a lot of compassion or a good-sadness feeling arises with this. Even sadness feels rich/profound. I feel more connected feelings to people in general now doing this. And sadness for their struggles which I now see more perceptively. I used to blame myself a lot whenever things wrong, but now I see everyone struggles like I did in similar ways. More energy is flowing through my body, exchanging with ones surroundings, so richer feelings and noticings happen as result. I often notice the struggles around me, it actually feels good – I relate to it emotionally. It is beautiful seeing the complexity and understanding the forces at work. Understanding it I feel I can help, being supportive in a subtle way. It is empowering to feel you can help and uplift other people, and enjoy it at the same time.

I’m carful not to trigger fear or push others when they’re worn out, just by thinking about someone a person can feel your connection. At the same time we all need fun so I bring it in (unless it’s really a bad time). Even when I’m not speaking or acting play, I’m still enjoying my thoughts or noticings. I keep building uplift even in times when speaking or physical action isn’t called for or allowed. With more experience you get used to the right balance, and it gets easy. The body remembers on its own.

You can’t recreate play with fear / an overanalyzing mind. At times it actually takes courage to break a non-play mold and just enjoy while in the presence of others who can be in a stress or mind heavy zone. Yet we all want this good feeling, even if we don’t understand the source. Being a leading example of simple low stress enjoyment. This enjoyment attracts what we want without having to reach.

How can we learn, if everything we hear is cast in self doubt?

As a teen+young man I used to think if someone found out a solution for why relationship was so difficult, why meeting people was so difficult, (specific details about why I seemed to go blank around people, why I felt connected at rare times, knew it was possible, just didn’t find it most times), etc; if someone found these answers I thought it would be “big news” “popular information” …But now I wonder if all along there were people how had insights that could have helped me, but I saw the world through fear and self doubt, so I didn’t even notice. Perhaps even the fear of the entire ‘herd’ (community), prevented important awarenesses from becoming common knowledge.

One can go main stream, but that takes a combination of health and wisdom that can be rare. How many other voices are ‘on the right track’ but go unheard because of fear or doubt. How many books did I read, but instead of enjoying the material, I just kept being reminded of my own incompetence? Some school teacher voice in my head, telling me to focus and get better, but I’m not even enjoying the book or aware I should be. Now I enjoy what I read, and it feeds me energy, I take in much more, with no effort at all, it actually gives me a charge.

I wonder that often people who are wise only really get there after they are injured.. and yet people don’t want to take the advice of injured unattractive people; or the opposite, people are healthy, yet they stay ignorant, because the world feeds off their material beauty, no mater what they do, so they don’t have to learn or change their ways, regardless of how they effect people around them, there are aways more/other people willing to follow their material power status or looks. Now when i’m looking for advice, i don’t just take it from the ‘shiny people’. In fact it is usually the ugly, the crippled, and the damaged that have the most to say. Yet i say this, injury is not a -requirement- for wisdom. In fact getting the advice of the injured may be the best way to stop the cycle of pain and repeating history, to -prevent- injury, and succeed in life.

My fear, or habit, kept me doing things for years that I knew in my heart wasn’t working. Or following advice that didn’t feel quite right. It was ‘good enough’ to scrape along. My own self doubt (negative feelings) kept me down, a cycle; it kept me from noticing & enjoying my environment; and it kept me from noticing the truth, that others were just as lost as I was. Seeing in a positive light helps me discern the helpful from the not helpful; seeing the good in someone that has both good and bad, when in the past I was more likely to wright off an entire possibility. Perhaps through play and enjoying human presence we can learn, learn the architecture of our own aliveness.

Fields of Light and Play

All objects have an electromagnetic field. And humans produce a light field that specially benefits others humans. I trust that these fields of human light and play are there, even thought I can’t see them. Just allowing my body to receive human light energy. Play also creates a subtle cumulating energy, even though I may not see it all the thoughts, observations myself and others have, particle interactions, sound, heat, subtle momentums, that contribute to this phenomenon. Or someone has visible energy but I may not see that the source is play.  Understanding play and light in groups (at a party for example) is a bit like surfing a wave; surfing on a sea of biolight. Every person is a different sized wave, and they are in motion. When in harmony the waves flow together. It’s not tedious or mechanical like building a robot. (Though if you understand environment and body energetics even the complicated task of a robot will be easier.) If you get nervous or worry too much you fall off your board and take a dive. But even then you can float back up if you aren’t afraid or embarrassed from the fall. You stay positive and connected. Literally floating (just not enough  to actually fly) on electromagnetic energy around you. Or maybe you crash into another surfer, you stay calm and positive focused in play; you can re-find you balance. biolightbanner Tapping into child energy. This inner body energy wants to move. For a child who is used to conducting energy, running up the stairs takes less effort then staying still. Staying still for too long takes effort and may feel unnatural to one who has felt this other way of being. The waves rise in harmony with each other. Like a song we may start with some surface oriented lines or ‘verses’ “this is good food” “did you get a drink?” “I love this song”, but then maybe a ‘chorus’ or high moment comes out of nowhere “wow I didn’t know we had ______ in common.” Yet not attached to it, the wave falls, gently. Yet rises again. We enjoy the subtle moments too, without fear of ‘serious face’. All our ‘instruments’ or human heart fields are slowly building a harmony. These invisible currents of light and play between people, within ourselves, they carry us. We can’t see the energy, but we trust it to carry us, we feel the growing connection, and then we visibly do look brighter in our eyes and skin. I often have ‘flying’ dreams, and I associate this feeling with being ‘uplifted’ by biolight (biophoton) energy produced by people and play. Receiving biolight is like flying on an invisible wave.

Play in Conversation

(or applicable tips) Go to an event, fair, park. Find someone who looks mildly relaxed, not completely preoccupied. Maybe 50 % of the people are in this decent mood. Approach them without needing a ‘reason’. Play and connection are your reason. Perhaps ‘play’ sounds silly. Then think of it in a subtle way. Play is your ability to enjoy. Underlying all people have this need for human company and some kind of enjoyable experience, so talking to strangers is not as silly as many of us think, or we fear it is, in fact it is actually essential and community building. People are build to need each other, even those who don’t know this, still need it on the cellular level, and will thank you and feel grateful without knowing why, when you feel practiced and relaxed with this yourself.

Notice a person, visualize some vague sense of what the person might be thinking feeling based on their situation, their environment. Think about this, and then let the thoughts go. Draw attention to the pleasant (sensations, fun noticings); imagine the energy within you, focus attention on what makes you feel good, notice all the color and environment energy your body is receiving.

Walk up to them.

Nice you may already feel an ‘energetic connection’ with them even before they overtly notice you. This connection may come from your eyes or skin.

Say “I love your art” (if they’re painting) or “I love you outfit”. Even if you’re not an artist, or clothing designer, they may be happy just to see someone is interested. It gives them a chance to tell someone what they are doing, why they are doing it. It feels like a connection has happened.

Or use a statement “I love the park”

A question “hows the food here”

Or ask them for directions.

Or “What book are you reading?” Enjoy each sentence at a time. Don’t focus too much on what you will say next. Don’t fear a ‘serious face’ from them. A neutral sign is not a bad sign. Even if someone is a bit grouchy, they may not be conscious of it, and it may not be directed at you. As you talk instead of forcing energy, notice a subtler benefit, one that is less flashy, but easy, effortless to maintain. (‘Serious face’ is a reflection of the other person’s energetic state and not a rejection of you. What makes it more confusing at first is that they may ‘act happy’ towards other people. But exposing ‘serious face’ to you or someone that was unexpected is not a bad sign; it can even lead directly to more intimate connection, skipping the ‘front’ sage completely. Often what we encounter may just be a ‘neutral face’ but fear makes us read it as critical.)

Feel a light energy connection between us. My energy is what it is, it doesn’t have to be any higher or lower then where it wants to be. Doing this, they may take your lead and ‘shift’ down with you. More intimate types of connections or honest omissions may happen. They feel they can lower their guard. “I hate this job” they may say. But that’s honesty, it’s connection, progress. A lot of people may be suffering, I promote talking about it; just being their to listen “I relate to that”. it’s a sign of intimacy. at the same time, I am enjoying my own thoughts and perceptions, even if talking about something difficult. I visualize a situation they describe, they can see I am thinking about them, they feel like I am listening.

At the same time, I weave in more uplifting conversation. I am not obligated to the heavy, the serious or stressful, sometimes the heavy serious conversation magnifies us down too long and becomes unproductive. We are afraid to ‘break the mold’. I am not afraid to weave in some fun observation or action into the conversation. Everyone has a wanting for this natural uplift, they may not act on it or know how to, but you can. Channeling an uplifting energy, even in subtle ways.

Look directly at sometimes eyes, or alternate, looking at their forehead for example, or just slightly away. Looking at some’s skin still creates connection as well. Skin emits and receives biolight. Peripheral eye contact is also connection. If direct gaze feels intimidating at times, you can we’ve between these other modes. Yet even if you stare at someone (with a good(ish) heart feeling), over time they may start to like it. What you feel in your heart effects the energy your eyes emit. Even neutral/calm feelings are good to create this connection, better then negative and fear. You don’t have to be at your best.

I’m in a state of play, but if it feels like I’m ‘reaching’ for energy, trying too hard, feeling stress on my body; then I slow down, draw action to more simple or relaxing thoughts perceptions or feelings. There may be a on going adjusting as  your body gets the hang for this play and biolight based interaction.

You are not limited just to approaching people in this way, even subtle benefits of being around people, subtle connections, are an accomplishment. If you don’t have a long connection, don’t see this as a failure. Keep enjoying subtle sensations at the event. Don’t feel you are ‘supposed’ to do anything. Notice if connections start to happen, even without you’re thinking about them. Merely by your enjoying yourself, and wanting it to happen. Your gaze is at eye level, eyes moving around. Not afraid of meeting someones, yet not needing to do anything either. Your eyes start to meet someones. They ask your for directions. “isn’t this a great fair?” “do you know where this booth is?” now you’re having a conversation. And it just began as some pleasant sessions in your heart combined with eye movements. – Notice it’s not just what my eyes are doing, but also what my heart is feeling, that has this subtle (or not so subtle) effect on people and in myself. – As you talk, notice they’re wanting to connect in their voice, their eyes. Or if they don’t show it, don’t be afraid, they may have ‘tired face’ but this doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Give it time and see if there is a shift. If they still seem negative with no change after like 40 seconds, you can back out. There may be many other people that do want to connect. It takes repeated experience, to know when someone is very not interested / busy, and when it is just your fear reading into it. Even if they start off not interested, with time, they may become interested. Magnetism gradually arises.

Create positive associations with going to social events or work. I feel good about it even before I’ve arrived. Instead of feeling “I should do this, but I really don’t want to,” negative thoughts that drain you. Visualize things you do enjoy about work/events, or recall past good experiences going as far back as childhood, even if it was just one time, a moment. Let a good feeling move your body, carry you to the event. Notice when negative thoughts are triggered during your day. Do the thoughts help? Perhaps just by this noticing you will be less likely to be triggered next time. Keeping focus in positive or pleasant.

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I like to find ways to included multiple people when possible, sometimes one in one for too long could be tiring depending on your mood, don’t feel oblighated to talk to someone for hours if it feels like they demand too much or you are not into it for some reason.

Maybe just having a friend with me to return back to, you don’t want to crowd someone new you are meeting with all your friends.. Just the act of sitting or relaxing in a place that has a lot of people, i find helps me receive the human energy, so i don’t get low energy or drained from the talking part of things. talking used to be drainign for me. now i see being with people as an act of receiving energy and brining energy into the body, the body natural emits energy, so you are not ‘taking’ someones energy, when people are alone, the energy just shoots off into space and is waisted, so you are essentially receiving free energy just by being near people. excess energy the body naturally continuously emits, designed to heal other people, or cure the ‘low energy’ i used to deal with. i place a lot of value on enjoying that act of being near people, i don’t rely overly on words like i used to, i use them like poetry; so at least half or more of the time is spent just relaxing and enjoying. and ultimately people enjoy just being near people. because i’m not over focused on ‘pleasing’ people, i don’t get drained like i used to, i am meeting people, standing or sitting with them, but at least half of the time my awareness is on myself (while i gaze at them) on my wellbeing, i notice myself relaxing, almost like a ‘social mediation’ or ‘multiple person gazing meditation’ i talk in a way that brings enjoyment to me, as well as the other person, i focus a good amount of attention on my own enjoyment of whatever I’m talking about, because the other person will actually respond positively to those ~emotions~ it is not actually selfish as i might have thought in the past, i can’t get drained from talking now, because i use talking as part of the process of creating energy for myself, and that energy expands to others, it’s the best and only way to increase their energy as well. i enjoy the feelings whatever i’m talking about or imaginationing creates in me, i feel it increasing my energy, both when i’m talking to people, or just thinking to myself, so talking is specifically there to increase my energy. it is more an act of art, then just purely information or instructions of some kind. this way of being doesn’t allow me to get exhausted like i used to all the time, the whole point is increasing my energy, so others feel the benefit too. love yourself to love others.

Sometimes saying no to one person actually makes you more connected to the group, that’s important too, it actually takes courage to say no. When i was longle i would go to an event and get pulled on by the more desperate people, because i could feel safe with them, and then i would be indebted to them somehow. The lonely me would cling to one person at an event and say ‘hey i’m socializing!’ but acutely i wasn’t getting the energy of the group, i was spending hours over focusing on one person, trying to ‘please them’ with their approval. Sometimes actually the courage to say no or pull away from some more anxious or demanding people, frees you up to attract and connect to the people that are on the more relaxed satisfying plane or dimension. Now i sit back, and allow myself to feel an expanded energy connection with the group. Some people are caught in loops that can’t actually be pleased, and the best thing you can do for them is to not indulge a bottomless void, and instead focus on cultivating the energy of entire group. I remember have to cut someone off once at an event, but i was so i could focus on being connected to the group energy, and i felt so much positive energy that night, that i remember the guy i felt i sort of ignored was still very positive towards me, and remember me years later. the best way to please people is to focus on your personal wellness.

I used to socialize to ‘win friends’ and it’s still a similar go i have, but now i socialized to cultivate energy in my being, it is though i am ‘already connected’ to people. i’m not earning or winning them over so much. They are sort of an extension of myself via light energy, that strengthens just as we spent time together. Yet at the same time i don’t fear the ‘lows’, and i don’t see others ‘low energy’ as a personal rejection of myself, as i used to. I used to believe most people were rejecting me by default. Now whoever i am i tend to assume most people want / are built to need that energetic connection with another person, they want my company by default, even if they have their own fears or trust issues, beyond that, they are build to want ‘me’ / you. i don’t have to do anything extra exactly or put on a talent show. Now i can see someones ‘tiredness’ is about their state of being and not a rejection or response to ‘me’. and i can even have compassion for the tiredness, and find the right topics or rhythm that seem best for them (as well as myself), and not feel i have to ‘act happy’ to impress them, like we often do, which can actually be bad because it’s stressful, or adds more stress when often people tend to be a bit tired because of their jobs or some dissatisfaction in life, people want their off time to be a release from work and stress. I used to act more energized then i felt, pumping out big energy all the time to win people over, yet all my social interactions would end in burn out, i didn’t even realize i was doing this, it was the only way i knew, the only way many of us know, this battle to ‘earn’ friends. now i don’t have to pump out big energy to impress people, because now i now the subtle ‘already there’ connection is more powerful, because it allows two or more people to join their rythems without stress, and cultaive energy in a growing not draining way.

And make no mistake, the energy you cultivate together will greatly exceed any energy you can force out on your own through stress and effort. It is only ‘subtle’ in the beginning. That subtle beginning is important so it talk about it allot. that subtle beginning, (those subtle feelings of connection you ease into at first with people) IS the way to get to the really being energy and charisma that you want.

Bring up topics you enjoy. Ask questions. Talk about what they enjoy. Gaze and listen without worrying about a response. Focus on pleasant sensations. In terms of what you say, try different ways at it. Allow you mind to relax, and as you focus on pleasant sensations, see what thoughts surfaces. Visualize what the other person is feeling. Even if you forget what your talking about. Do not be embarrassed about forgetting. keep taking in positive observations inspired by your environment, focusing on pleasant sensations, then another random thought or thread enters your mind. turn that into conversation. “I’m hoping to check out that booth.” this occurs to you. “Oh are you an artist?” they say “Actually I’m a writer” “That reminds me of this interesting show when they did ____” “It’s interesting the way everyone here is _____”  as you relax into the conversation, more things start occurring to you. You start having preceptive thoughts and observations. “look at the way that person is doing that” “that reminds me of” “they must be feeling” “these video games look cool, I’m sad I haven’t played them, but now i’m noticing they are all direct copies of Mario.” you start having more complex perceptions without trying to. “do you want to watch this show with me?” “are you hungry?” “lets go play that dancing game.” One moment I’m having complex perceptions, the next i’m saying “lets eat” or “look at that funny cat over their”. I’m not attached to ‘sounding intelligent.’ More neurons are firing, but this is a product of having fun, and not actually because i’m ‘trying to sound intelligent’. the neuron firings themselves are play, vibrational genesis.

These are exercises to un-condition the ‘entertaining’ mode of conversation. Ask them if they want to hang out again, get a contact, but notice how much enjoyment comes out just in the present, even in a five minute interaction.

Or maybe we’re walking side by side, and my mind drifts a bit, I’m having all kinds of complex perceptions, while keeping the other person in my relaxed awareness. .. Maybe i’m wondering about this persons childhood. Noticing the way that person guarding the door over there is inhibiting the rooms energy. Thinking about the next thing i want to do. Noticing the flow of energy in the room or area, the quality of the connection. I may be noticing all this, but all I say is “do you want to go dancing on Tuesday?” not even related to what I was thinking. All these other noticings may not even come up in the conversation. Yet they are fun and relaxing, it feels good to let loose like this at times. And maybe later on, something I had pondered comes into the conversation. I only noticed it because I was with someone yet able to enjoy myself at the same time.

Allow your mind to wander when your around people, while at the same time feeling the energy benefit of the people. Even while you’re in conversation, you mind may wander a little. We focus intensely on each other out of a wanting to connect, yet all this focusing actually creates stress, and makes us less preceptive. This free floating awareness, while being physically with people, allows us to connect to our own being, while being with others.

After many experiences now my mind has a greater backlog of interesting topics and ways to connect I can re-access more quickly. Also my body has built a muscle memory for connection. Many things may happen, or click on, at certain times, while i may not be thinking about it. My body has an instinct. Being social feels natural, desirable, something to look forward to. I just spend time ‘hanging around’ but my body is learning things, subconscious learnings that happen. My mind records information without me trying to. When I’m in a state of play or pleasant enjoyment, my mind may remember all kinds of things about people, that I can use the next time we meet. The playful mindset makes the information click.

The Energetic Heart & Body

The body gives off a healing energy and exchanges energy with other humans even when we are doing or saying very little at all. The human body emits small measurable intensities of light, known as biophotons, from the eyes and skin. (Dr. Fritz-Albert Popp.) (Herbert Schwabl, Herbert Klima. Spontaneous ultraweak photon emission from biological systems and the endogenous light field.) Humans are constantly exchanging small amounts of light energy. This biolight is healing to ourselves and other people around us. Are bodies have a system for receiving biolight from each other, storing it in our cells and DNA. “Cellular damage can be virtually repaired, within hours, by faint beams of light.” (Popp) Biolight and other energies exchanged between people exist “just below our conscious perception.” (Rollin McCraty)

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If someone is too focused on  achieving tangible goals or getting the approval of others they never notice their own inherent worth. Though we can’t see biolight particles with our eyes, we can act with an awareness of these energies and arrange more opportunity to simply receive their benefit. Biolight is a type of resource that can only come from being with people. The amount of light is seemingly small but the effect is significant over time. We don’t have to make an effort to produce it, because it is already  being produced.

Our eyes alone possess an incredible power to help others relax, feel safe; central in this naturally occurring light exchange between people.We allow ourselves to feel comfortable with various types of eye contact. I allow my eyes to move around and go where they want to go. It is important to know that we can take pressure off needing words to substantiate ourselves. So many modern modes of relation focus largely on intellectual concepts and words. The truth is we can in fact look at someone, anyone, in their eyes, without words needing to be exchanged, and this is vital and healthy. People just like the sense that someone is paying attention to them, they feel heard, it feels good and natural.  Biolight travels at the speed of light, though it takes the heart time to absorb it.  I believe it may also be able to effect people from long distances such as 100 feet. For example one can feel and benefit from the energy of an entire crowd. It may be more effective at closer distances. This may sound like turning love into science. Yet I believe that this awareness of our bodies may reduce suffering and enable us to thrive.

“Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

The Dalai Lama

The Heart plays a significant role in the body in addition to pumping blood. It is key in powering this energetic biolight system in the body. “The heart generates a powerful pressure wave that travels rapidly throughout the arteries much faster than the actual flow of blood.” (Rollin McCraty) “The magnetic component of the heart’s field, which is around 5000  times stronger than that produced by the brain, is not impeded by tissues (muscles, skin, organs) and can be measured several feet away from the body (with Superconducting Quantum Interference Device (SQUID) based magnetometers.)” (The Energetic Heart: Bioelectromagnetic Interactions Within and Between People Rollin McCraty, Ph.D.)   In addition to the brain, the heart and the gut actually contain neurons. This heart intelligence informs the brain more then was previously understood. Our feelings or intuition are an evolved decision making system. When we learn to trust our feelings without fear they can guide us to what is needed both individually and collectively. Feelings of the heart can actually be felt physically by other people near us. If someone has an anxious heart it can actually be uncomfortable for a person ten feet away if they are also anxious or in energetic drain. If someone is feeling a natural or un-efforting satisfaction, this can be felt and is attractive to someone ten feet away and more, and is also healing to another with an energetically drained heart. The energetically satisfied heart is not only less effected by anxiety of others it is healing to them. Without a full heart the mind is more easily encumbered by fear and self doubt. Constantly thinking in search of complex solutions, but never satisfied.  Physical contact, a touch on the shoulder, hugging, is also an important way of generating energy and connection with people. A socially isolated person may feel threatened by touch. Prolonged social isolation, stillness, and time in dismal environment is actually draining to the human body. Experiments on monkeys showed that if you remove a monkey from it’s environment; if you take a monkey away from the other monkeys, but continue to feed it, it will actually die. It was said that monkeys who were given a soft object to hug survived the social isolation, but they were still considerably weaker then the monkeys who remained in their natural habitat.  Social isolation will make someone physically week, fragile. In light of this we should move in at a general and gradual rhythm, adjusting differently depending on the person. Being cautious with an isolated person so they feel safe.

We can also exchange biolight with animals. It is possible that a larger person may emit more then a smaller person, a young man may emit more than a baby. The fully mature heart emits more. A happy person will emit more then a small cat (of similar emotional state). But a cat may emit more then a depressed person. At the same time babies and children will emit a lot because they instinctively know to make eye contact and feel free to play; social insecurity in society has not yet set in. Children and young people will often emit a lot of biolight because their bodies are very healthy and they feel free to express play (thus releasing the stress in their cells). Knowing about biolight and play can restore youth to a degree. We can use this awareness to get more out of relationship, and be with people that help us feel good.

I used to think that other people, girls I liked, peers I wanted to meet, ‘had the love,’ the ‘bright eyes’. We’ve all felt or seen it. I would sense it from people. All my life I was expecting the other person to ‘show the love’. I thought if someone didn’t that meant they didn’t like me. But now I see the ‘bright eyes’ more as a phenomena that arises between people. I was putting too much pressure on the other expecting it from them. It was never there’s to give. The ‘bright eyes’ is something that arises over time between two or more people.

This social benefit is essential to us all. We learn that we can simply receive this human light energy and over time our heart and cells are charged with it. We become ‘fulfilled’ ‘uplifted’ ‘naturally high.’ (Naturally Social)

Drain & Stress Culture

 

Socially disconnected stress patterns, or trauma, are passed down through the generations. These traumas arise not exclusively from physical actions. Often these feelings of disconnect and resulting stress patterns can come from a general absence in the community. Something that didn’t happen. Stress patterns or habits have the guise of accomplishing something, making us better, when they actually keep us in disconnect, taking us away from our social and playful nature. These patterns involve a basic assumption of being ‘not already deserving’ of relationship. This assumption happens on an instinctive level for the human, it is all that is ever known, it is difficult to imagine a different way it could be. The water in which we swim.

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A few people don’t know they ‘belong’ and it spreads. Fear associations with people in the mind. The problem is in the mind, the solution is in the heart. These insecurities or traumas of absence take root in the foundation of entire civilizations. We think we need status or power to be attractive to or loved by others. Insecurity is everywhere so no one thinks to question it; like the water in which we swim. We never notice our own basic worth. The social value that we already have, simply by existing. This sea of biolight is everywhere, I can be connected the moment I walk into a space. More people means more potential biolight. More relaxed eye contact and play, means more biolight that circulates.

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In the West we prioritize academics and intellectual intelligence – ‘processing speed.’ We value the intellect, the mind, first. Instead of emotionally relating to each other, we end up treating ourselves and others like objects; problems to be fixed, successes to be accomplished, a competition to be won; instead of energetic creatures that need safety connection and play. We relate through our minds, the intellect is first. We accomplish things with will power and mental focus instead of allowing and receiving naturally occurring feelings of love or passion. The heart becomes secondary. There is no space or awareness to feel emotion in relation to each other, to know we are already deserving of this bond.

Education in our society is a product of the Industrial Age. We are ‘productivity’ focused. Producing honor students, that make it to the Ivy League, that run competitive business. Yet when some are the best, it implies others are the worst. We strive to achieve great success, because deep down we feel that we don’t ‘already matter.’ The focus on competition, achievement, intellect, could be seen as a type of nation wide insecurity, a social fear spanning across a nation, and beyond. We prioritize intelligence, status, and economic success as a culture to  socially validate ourselves. “What are you studying?” “Where do you work?” We ask these questions the moment someone walks in. We simply don’t know what else to talk about. As a culture we feel the need to compete and be the best. To validate ourselves. We want that feeling of recognition. It’s not wrong to want to feel good, to feel love. However going after it this way, it is always somehow beyond reach.  Some are able to thrive within this system, many are not. Yet even those who are beautiful, intelligent, successful, who achieve every standard, deep down they still feel confusion, insecurity. They are loved, they are famous, yet the attention they get feels like it comes for the wrong reasons. One finds popularity, fame, yet they don’t feel loved for who they already are. The fame actually becomes a burden. It feels like an act, that will at some point fall apart. Others get the money, the success, yet it doesn’t complete them, something is always missing.

Many of our struggles come from an over focus on the mind, and our solutions involve a focus on the mind. Instead of paying attention to the (energetic) needs of the heart, we as a culture focus on career achievement.  School, the therapeutic process, a business, and more, often become ways of a qualified person teaching a student specific skills which focus inwards on individual success. …When in fact I believe seeking out playful, creative relationship itself is the healing medicine that is needed and largely missing. We relate through knowledge and skills, that our in fact ways of socially qualifying, validating ourselves. We don’t value the relationship itself.  We only make eye contact when we have important words or clever statements. We do this because we don’t feel that we already matter in relation to each other.   Relationship is scary; it’s dynamic, not as solid and straight forward as a simple conversation tactic, multiple choice problem, or breathing exercise; yet relationship is the essential piece to well being.

Everything in Western culture encourages sitting still for long periods of time, schools, work, even movie theaters, restaurants. It is possible this prolonged culturally ingrained stillness creates an energetic drain on the body, (adding to the drain that is already there from social disconnect.) We value ourselves as separate individuals, the inward antisocial focus adds to the state of drain. Moving feels exhausting. Yet in truth not moving may be even more exhausting. We are creatures of movement. With prolonged stillness the body falls into an energetic depression, a slump. One can no longer identify that movement feels good. As creatures of play and movement, many times moving is less exhausting than staying still. I believe we should get in touch with the bodies natural playful movement in our life; Not running miles to be ‘productive,’ but simply expressing a little regular movement. Noticing that it feels good.

The productivity achievement focus in our culture drains the love that circulates in the community. There isn’t enough love energy (biolight, life force) going around to raise most people to a place of feeling naturally –secure-. When ‘anxious attachment’ (people who don’t feel deserving or safe in relationship) pervades in the community this gives rise to avoidant people. Being cut off from the current of social energy, these avoidant people live in a state of constant drain or low body energy. They receive no energy from the community (if you can call it a community.) They’ve never experienced a feeling of sustained safety and play in relation to people.

All too often these ‘no belonging’ people will develop all kinds of troubles and be identified as having a ‘brain disorder,’ when in many cases the underlying problem may be something much more basic. Many of what we call ‘brain disorders’ may be rooted in a basic social energetic absence. This is a quality of the heart and not a problem of the mechanics of the brain. A matter of not feeling safe or socially deserving, effecting the entire nervous system, creating a state of disconnect and drain.

The social confidence that does happen in our society is almost like a ‘happy accident.’ Love and play want to happen, but it’s almost by accident that stress patterns in some communities end up not being as bad, that love and play can naturally occur. Many people are aware of the importance of safety and play on an instinctive – emotional level, but not on a conscious level. These semi-secure people have confidence in relation to each other, in relation to other semi-secure people; yet their security falls apart in relation to an insecure person, or an insecure collective; (from anything to an extreme introvert, a bully, or even a business.) This conditional security many have is not a true recognition of basic human goodness, otherwise it would be powerful in and of itself and would spread and heal insecure people.

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It doesn’t have to take decades of self-discovery to become radiant. Some children and young people acquire qualities of confidence, charisma, and radiance immediately just based on their family, community, and environment; how happy and warm his or her community was.  We must learn to feel safe and light hearted in the gaze of others. To make eye contact without having to ‘earn it,’ because it benefits us and others, while at the same time listening to the needs of our hearts. With the right approach trauma or stress patterns / habits, and life long personal and relationship conflicts, can be healed fairly quickly. A life changing experience of play and safety can be created. We must give the heart what it needs. Fritz-Albert Popp’s Biophotonics, Stephen Porges’s Polyvagal theory, Diane Pool Heller’s Attachment Theory, and Heart Math research, and my own experience, are all beginning to show this. Leading to an energetic heart based understanding of the human body. (from Naturally Social)