Once in middle-school I was saying something to a teacher after class, I put one finger up in this weird kind of way, sort of like this goofy hand gesture ‘I’m making a point, yet playing on myself at the same time’, I didn’t know why I was doing it, I just felt like it. She touched her finger too mine in an et. kind of way. and said “I just felt like touching it” at the time I thought she was making fun of my weirdness. But now I think that it was an act of play, for both of us. However weird, that was one of our most connected moments.
I have 1000 examples like this. Times I thought people were indifferent, rejecting, making fun of, that weren’t true, they were actually opportunities for play or subtle connection.
All this time I thought I was seeing the world the way it was, uncomfortable, loud, noisy, smelly, bothersome, but now I think I was just catching the debris, my negative heart field was magnetizing and picking up more negative energy, negative sensations, creating a negative perception of reality that became real. Now it’s like literally stepping into a different reality. Drawing attention to positive sensations, I begin to have more positive sensations. You really have to commit and believe the world is bright, when I’m deep in the rut of not knowing a happy life.