Too often Pain & Sadness is mistaken for Anger & Disapproval

Sometimes we grow up feeling like we aren’t good enough. By default we expect to have to ‘earn’ others approval. That if we don’t ‘try’ or do anything impressive, our natural normal relaxed self will be disliked.

Another could be tired, exhausted, lonely, depressed, sad, about something that has nothing to do with us, yet in this ‘I’m not good enough state’, it becomes about us, we read our fears into their tiredness, we think they are tired with us, they are disapproving of us. However so often people are really just exhausted with things that have nothing to do with us, this person they just met, or a near aquenace, they aren’t really judging you very much at all, so when getting to know people, it’s really essential to see that their pain has nothing to do with us, it is not caused by something ‘we did’ just now, it has a deep history that has nothing to do with us. Then we can separate their pain from us. And people and strangers become much more approachable. When I come from a place of trust and self trust, instead of self doubt, then it becomes easier to see that this person is frequently not mad with me, that they are in fact actually sad or in pain about what can be a great many things starting before you arrived or years ago, you might just call it the inherent pain of life.

Not taking their pain personally, and not expecting them to be happy, seeing that it is ok to be drained or dogruntled actually allows the other person to feel safe, they can let down their guard, and don’t have to always ‘act happy’ they don’t have to worry about the stress of doing that. They don’t have to act happy purely to protect us from taking sadness or lameness personal, because they can see that we are accepting of all the moods. This humanness is actually a place for deeer connection than the forced happy. They see we had a hard day to and they feel our humanity. They feel closer to us, and may tell us something deep about their day they would not have said if they felt pressure to be upbeat or nice. Sometimes all the niceness becomes like a cover to protect from the fear of the silence between people, it creates pressure for everyone to act nice and upbeat yet then the sad emotions and personal human struggles never come out so we feel strangely distanced. The ‘nice guys finish last’ thing. The sadness or pain becomes a good thing, because we have accept it is there, is not about us, and it becomes something we can have compassion for, an opening to connect, a reason to just be together and listen, or lower standards and expectations. it takes off the stress of having to pretend everything is “great” all the time. We can worry less about offending each other and take more time just enjoying ourselves in each others company.

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Awakening the Innate Intelligence

Play is flowing with each enjoyment of life, then letting go of each joy and worry, to move on to the next positive playful focus. Finding that letting go into the flow of each cosmic event, actually strengthens our memory, our ability to recall that facts we need exactly when we need them with mere detail, more creative spin and new synaptic connections. Allowing some details to go forgotten, trusting our body is already doing all it needs to do to be all we need to be, this act of forgetting, letting go, actually strengths our ability to instantly & clearly recall the things that matter. By focusing on the fun more of the time, the ‘innate intelligence’ emerges on its own, it will be there, on it’s own. Because too often our society does not allow this ‘already present’ intelligence the time it needs to emerge and blossom on its own. Play is the fuel for the mind. Positive relaxing stimulating environment supports neuron generation. Play and relax at your own pace around others. Play and relaxing are both seen as legure activites, as unproductive in our society, this is why we alloys feel so stiff and dry and lonely. Doing something simple like playing and relaxing around others actually takes a kind of activism, to stand up to the rules that don’t make sense, or at lest meet the needs of your heart, do what you want and need, what makes you feel right, even when others seem to constantly tell you not to.

Getting high on what the group thinks

Trading in Better Judgment to get High on Group Opinions; the riptide of an unrealized/unfun and overly disciplined community

When groups gather and unite in their beliefs it creates a high feeling in every person. This can be amazing. Yet this also has a history of backfiring, in cases of Natzis or people ‘drinking the kool-aid’, people disregard science, their own intuition or health, or the heath of outsiders for the sake of uniting in their group, the high feeling this brings. The group mind-frame or shared opinion itself becomes magnetic powerful even addictive, because thinking of it links us back to all those memories and feelings of the energy that came from people, we associate the idea, the pill, the chore or the activity with the energy high.. instead of associating that good feeling with people themselves; we become intoxicated on whatever the group thinks, even when it is detrimental the the planet. Some of these group mentalities are obvious, like when people used to believe the earth was flat or the earth was the center of the universe and reject other ideas or people that still don’t believe in evolution… yet many of these ‘group mentalities’ that are just as absurd remain hidden, they have a way of blending in and seeming passible if you are not the victim of them, we don’t notice the suffering this copycat behavior causes. They get taken for fact. We distrust our long term friends in favor of mass public opinion, the things our fathers were told by their fathers who were told by there fathers. “This idea has been around, it has ‘worked’ for so many hundreds or thousands of years, so that must be proof of it’s effectiveness” we naturally think, yet an underlying element is being masked, the contagiousness of mass human thinking, and the tendency to cling to the familiar in favor of the unknown. We hold onto the familiar even to our detriment. The heart thrives on movement, change and play, free form creative silly human interaction without judgment without control… yet the fear of uncertainty exists on mass scale, it holds us back from our potential. It creates these large channels of control behavior throughout society. This needs a good term like ‘herd mentally’ or ‘mimesis’ or lemming behavior.. Perhaps ‘social riptide’. It’s like the undercurrent of something that is mostly good. I’ve also called it a false reward system, we keep coming back for a reward that seems close but is really impossibly far away, a horse that is chasing a carrot on a string. Countless people are pulled into these ruts of absurd routines that we all know don’t really make sense, yet it is just so hard to shift them, it’s easier to comply and accept our pay at the end of the day. We trade in fact or our better judgment, the whisper our heart is telling us.. for an pseudo feeling of connectedness created through preforming tasks that masses of others also take part in, it creates this sense of unity and power that is real, it adds up to being ‘good enough’ yet it prevents us from really questioning some of these menial tasks and beliefs, we give up on there being something better. The world is full of many depleted or even injured people that are being treated like they have some kind of mental problem. Some peoples lives are so devoid of fun and friendship that it becomes physically damaging over the years, then they are given some random label out of a hat like “autistic, add, bi-poloar, adhd, schizophrenic, psychotic, borderline personality” it gets repeated and repeated. We are taught simplistic and pointless skills we already know. When I see a seriously injured or starving person I sometimes make the joke to myself “he must be autistic” because this is basically the way doctors think. It’s a cruel joke so I don’t say it, yet people are starving without relationship or meaning in their lives, living in constant low energy and stress.. and doctors call them “autistic”, they might as well be starving or victims of war and disease. This thinking keeps us focused on our own problems, it keeps us ‘self-improving’ instead of focusing on positive self image, having an I’m ‘already awesome’ mentality that is needed for healing, it keeps us insecure, it might all be ok if there was more value in creating fun safe healthy relationships in society. We learn to ‘prove’ our worth to other people, instead of how to enjoy being around people, we feel we are not ‘exciting’ or important enough already, we get caught in a stress loop of always improving, it’s never enough, it prevents us from taking time to really enjoy the feeling of having fun with others day after day, from that fun really charisma can blossom. Yesterday someone my mom hired was teaching me how to “ask for things” so much of my life has been spent learning things i already know. At one point in high school someone came to my house to teach me how to sound out consonants and vowels, as though school wasn’t already an endless overflow of dry lifeless data. It feels like there just aren’t enough places where people gather just to have fun, there is always some demeaning label attached like “we are here to fix your learning disability or social disability” or something. These terms teach people they aren’t equal, they don’t have worth, they have to spend life “overcoming” themselves, overcoming something basic in their bodies, that we should dislike our selves or our own minds, this is a stressful way to live. You need to really love your body and mind, to see yourself as brilliant, (even if you have some sever brain damage) we really need this type of self loving view to heal. The ‘self-imporivng’ view sounds great, yet it is a stressful way to live. I was just watching an interview and I read in the comments that the actor was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Great yet another person diagnosed with some rediclious disorder. As though he has ‘two personalities’. He probbably just got tired over years of being teased for his unpopular roal, maybe years of being lonely, not finding meaning in our twisted society. You could call it ‘two personalities’ or you could just call it being angry. More like being really really angry and defeated in life.

The group seems too contrived, yet it can be ‘good enough’.. Being alone feels liberating at first (like when Elsa ‘lets it go!’), we can finally do whatever free creative thing we want, yet soon this too doesn’t feel right, we become lonely, worse, we become empty. Either way we can’t win. Eventually we crawl back to society.  There is a third option, to change society, but it doesn’t have to be all that overwhelming. It can start simply by changing the way we are around people. The ripple effect of an attitude, a way of being, and small daily actions.

We get a high from connecting to ‘society’ simply because it involves many people, yet that society is full of habit, drone behavior that is no where never its full creative potential. We trust the ‘word,’ the rules of society, when it is really the people in that society that are giving us the good feeling. That feeling is just the tip of what it could be, if each person followed their creative impulse together in the group. Having fun on the large adult scale is considered so unconventional in our current world. We can shift society. The sleeping impulse for fun is in everyone. Our creative and compassionate potential is untapped in part because of the weight of the ancient patterns of many minds. And also because it is part of our learning. Having fun on the group scale is a technology in a way. A method of harnessing human energy. I call it the ‘light-play intelligence’. It is an intelligence of the heart. The heart is like an engine that runs on the ‘dual fuel’ of human energy and having fun. Having fun means having fun, yet also finding the fun in the practical tasks of life. It is natural, yet it can be learned. Learning why fun matters makes us more resilient to the habitual patterns that try to dry up our good time. Shifting just 10% of society is a movement for example, it is enough to make the spread become increasingly contagious. Putting values like self love self kindness, community creativity and equality first. So many people think they need to be better stronger faster smatter, the stressful rat race to nowhere. We can reprogram the world, we start by simply believing it is possible each day. Giving it time even when the effects seem small. The ripple effect is small at first yet it becomes increasingly powerful.

Harnessing Sexual Energy

Sexual Energy Cultivation

This section is only true for the male body but as women it could help to understand too.

I struggled allot feeling depleted even as a young teen. I remember a time when life just seemed to become more depressing and I didn’t know why. At the point in my life when I was being spiritual and motivated to the highest degree, I once went an entire year where I only masturbated 4 times. During this year my energy was much higher then ever before, and my social charisma, I also spend time working an internship at a spiritual retreat I enjoyed, and meeting women with my dating coach. Yet I felt a clear connection between not masturbating and energy increase. I had heard some yogis speak of this and I thought it was worth seeing how far I could draw it out, just how much energy could I get from this. the thing was I really didn’t understand why it worked, and that made me both more likely to give in later on, and more likely to be too hard on myself. I became about denying myself all desire, I thought this brought me life energy, but I was wrong.. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

my journey finding a formula

I was years later that I put it together, I found a formula. After years of denying myself all types of desires like the buddha I became very week and decrepit. I experimented a lot and eventually figured out masturbation was totally heathy in a way i now feel definitive about and actually produced a degree of energy through positive emotional and pleasure stimulation. The energetic losses and gains had to do with ejaculation and sperm. I found that by not ejaculation for days and weeks I would already see significant increase in my energy. I believe this is true for all mean. it has to do with the energy seamen contain, it is the energy of stem cells, incredible energy to produce newborn life in just one cell in millions we have and expend when we cum.

Now I enjoy the masturbation but tend not to cum very often, I just get board, the first part is enjoyable and enhanced by my increased energy, the end part is short and sweet, yet not worth feeling down for days afterwards. I tend to save it up. Yogis and buddhism can become too much about denying pleasure and I no longer promote this at all. There are two ways to get the energy increase, maybe three ways. One you just don’t masturbate that often, two you masturbate but don’t ejaculate, I prefer this or a mixture, but it takes a degree of self control or skill, but this control is easier when you express the energy increase, and cuming is totally healthy and important now and then, I still like it now and then just for the sake of it, but it can be like eating a giant cake, I don’t go there all the time.

balancing energies

Important to note, this withdrawal from ejaculation has to be done in combination with playful social activity, or manful creative activity, and time spent around people, sunlight, groups of people, in relaxed playful connections, you have to get the other healthy experience and energies of life and spend time in places and environments that make you feel good, having a playful attitude that helps you feel good. If you just are alone in a room for a year and don’t masturbate at all, it won’t increase your energy, your sperm will increase, but the lack of fun and sunlight will greatly outweigh that increase, this took a very long time for me to understand even after closely paying attention to subtle details for many years making it my life mission to understand my body and how to tap it’s energy.

The Benefits

Just going 3 days with out ejaculating, your energy will increase, your social charisma, attractiveness to the opposite sex, physical health, deep inner energy and power, strength, the increase in sperm cells will increase the energy of your entire body. This is my special hack, you can masturbate, just don’t ejaculate if you desire to experience this increase. I find this had been an important source of energy in my life, and has turned EVERYTHING around, it has got me success with women, women sitting in my lap, literally; things that would never have happened to the old me who masturbated and ejaculated EVERY DAY that was where all my energy was going as a teen, ever since I started ejaculating, my body was dumping a big portion of it’s energy into the waist bin. All that life force in the trash. It’s hard not to get that sweet final orgasm at first, but it gets a lot easier, the increase for me is so drastic that I don’t even think about it.

masturbating vs ejaculating

As a semi side note, masturbating less tends to make the masturbating more exciting. Many of us get addicted to it like a drug, I don’t recommend masturbating twice or more a day for anyone, I tend to do it once every two days on average, sometimes it’s juts once a week, I really don’t think about it. I could call this article the benefits or reduced ejaculation, but I wanted to ease you into it and say how and why first.

the limits / no limits

If you go longer and longer without ejaculating your body keeps saving the sperm and now there is more life energy flowing through your blood, your sack can reach full capacity after just 3 or 4 days of not masturbating, yet once the ‘glass is full’ so to speak, or the ‘tank is full’ now you are just begging to reap that energy benefit, and you can go on expressing energy increases for weeks and weeks if you can hold off that long. It’s great because you can do this however you choose, you can hold off a little on the ejaculation every week and experience benefits, you could stop totally for multiple weeks if you really feel compelled by this and just want to see how far your energy can increase. Some have gone years without doing it, but that is not required, I experience significant benefits and my social and emotional health, my social charisma and creative all increase after just days of not ejaculating, after weeks there is even more benefit, and I can masturbate as much as I want if I don’t cum, that takes skill and if you go at it too often eventually you get tired and come.

Even if I was significantly injured, I think this would still be a non-decision, I ejaculate rarely, because the increase of energy I get is so drastic it is always with it. It is even fun to see how long I can go without giving in. You can be easy on yourself and get plenty of benefits still. Start with ejaculating less, like once every three or four days, then try to go a week without. If you don’t experience benefits then you can stop, or start rather. But just this should be enough. Look for increased magnetism with the opposite sex. Increased emotions in your chest, particularly when you make eye contact with people. Good luck!

Fun Loving Community, & the ancient rut of anti-playfulness

We all need a fun loving community. It takes activism to make it happen, we have to actively fight for a shift in a world that is clinging to patterns and distant abstract rewards that don’t really ever give back. Societies structure has its slow personal rewards, yet just going along with it contributes to a greater loss of life, to illness and injustice unchecked by the unplayful stiff serious completive hierarchical system in place. I collect my pay at the end of the day, I put in effort and suffering and collect my small cookie, my small reward, yet these industries we work for happy ignore the suffering of the many for short term personal gain. It’s not even greed or evil, it’s just habit. Lazy unawareness. Fun sounds simple, yet their is so much counter-fun in our society, it helps no one, the habit is so think and ancient that it goes unquestioned; yet at the same time it wants to change, the heart naturally desires love & playfulness & the power of human equality, we all desire that community that puts love and fun first, it juts needs a little fun push from every person! A playful calm attitude around others. Making little playful changes at home. Requesting little playful changes at work. Talking leadership of events and outings. Every small step matters. Just brining a little more play into each day. Hanging around a little long at times when people have gathered, when people are ‘hanging out’.

So much of society is structured, yet we need that unstructured fun to take our well being to the next level. We always feel like we are longing for something more, yet the values our world promotes, keep us down, focused on our faults, endlessly self improving, it takes a total flip in our thinking to break free of it. To feel how much power we already have if we just enjoy ourselves a little more, inject a little play into each day. Free our creative impulse. Set up playful spaces and hold playful gatherings. To follow the fun wherever it wants to go. At first we are fighting against all kinds of restrictions. Play is unimportant, play is unproductive. Just relaxing and playing is not accomplishing anything. This relaxed cultivation of playful energy with others is hugely revitalizing yet it becomes all to rare in our lives. Yet the more we challenge these boundaries and say “hey we all enjoyed that outing, that event” more people find the time to make it happen. A single playful event gives us so much energy that 10 hours of work turns into 2 hours of work, and we find ourselves with more free time, we find we can make the time to have more events like these, that playful gatherings are worth setting aside time for. To get out of the mental strain of papers and desk jobs and endless grunt work, and into the physical revitalizing world and power of our bodies, the power of people at play!

The Power of Deep Listening

Listen just to listen, don’t worry about your response. People enjoy having someone who listens and thinks about what they’re saying. By listening to them talk and say whatever is on their mind and thinking about what they’re saying they can feel you thinking about them and it makes them feel closer to you. Visualize what they say. Feel/imagine yourself experiencing their experiences, living in their shoes. Relate what they say to yourself, to times in your life. But allow them to share everything on their chest before feeling like you have to interject with something interesting or clever. If you think of something relevant wait before sharing wait till it feels like the right moment for them. The more you listen you may think of something even better even more relevant that would’ve never crossed your mind. Don’t worry about having a clever response to everything. It feels good just to be together and just to have someone who will hear us out, someone we can share deep things with, things others don’t have time for, that others might judge us for. Listen without judgment trust that the other is as deep and wise as you are or deeper and wiser, yet living in different circumstances, make no assumptions and trust that there’s much they have experienced that you have not, just as you have experienced much they have not. It is fun and healing just to hear their story, just to be there to have some of that experience, years of their life, their different and or related experiences, downloaded into you for free without judging it or seeing yourself as better than it. Not a competition about who suffered the most we become happier and stronger when we realize that we are all in this together. When we see each other as it equals deep healing happens, we thrive off each other’s energy and we are lifted much higher then we can ever go by fighting and competing with each other. No one is better. It feels good for the other person just to get it off their chest. And when we listen without worrying about a response we end up noticing a lot more, we pick up a lot more in the conversation. Listen with your heart.

Rejection?

 

What is rejection?

I remember times going to bars, and finally getting the courage to walk right up to girls that were on the dance floor, asking them “do you want to dance?” one just said to me straight up “No.” and grinned like it gave her a fucking thrill to reject me. Another girl was sitting down and seemed available to talk to, but when i asked her she said “i have a boyfriend” right off the bat. not even time to just talk, she had to end it cold and quick, even though she was sitting there alone, in one of the main places where people come to meet people. This will happen a lot, the real realization it just when it doesn’t get to you any more. rejection is not a reason to stop trying. on two separate occasions i just walked up and sat next to a girl (i had never seen before) in a mall dining court, and she looked at me like i was a total weirdo. but i’ve done this at malls or parks maybe ~100 times~ in the last 5 years (and you could do much more), and more often there is a conversion, something good happens, maybe i get a phone humor. That’s why the most important thing is when that 1 out of 10 girl says “No” like you are the biggest loser on the planet, not to let it get to you! I lived so much of my life in fear of rejection, really just assuming i was already rejected. in a way you could say i had already ‘rejected myself’. I was pre-rejected to save girls the time and effort of rejecting me. sort of like the opposite of Mysteries ‘pre-selected’ lol. Now i see so much of it was my mind frame, and when it went on long enough, i finally just decided to commit to going out and walking up to people, and that made me realze i could change my attired, and assume ‘by default’ that people and girls do like me, and want to talk to me. I say ‘attided’ because the term ‘mind-frame’ focuses on the mind, where ‘attitude’ is like a feeling you cultivate and chose to focus on. Our culture are lady puts a lot of weight on the ‘mind’ and this was part of the problem for me. People are attracted to the energy, the feeling, first and fore most, so i put my energetic well-being first.

One time i was at a dance club, asking a girl, who was with a few friends, if she / they wanted to dance, and i was getting better, this time i was already dancing as i said it. …i was getting mixed positive and negative signals from them. finally this 4th onlooking girl, must have decided i was being too loud, and she walked over, grabbed my arm firmly, and walked me out of the club. That was a pretty harsh blow for one of my earlier and more courageous attempts to meet a woman in a new place. Yet some how i saw it as progress, because it was something that had never happened before, i was pretty determined now so i could see past the rejection, that there was a lot more to learn and adjust.

compare-apples-to-apples.jpgSometimes a rejection cuts to your core and makes you feel sad, and it’s not even something you can ‘choose’ not to feel. You just have to embrace it, and let it slid off you. But the bigger point is that i lived in fear or what is really just a moment, and happens less often then not. And i was perceiving a lot of rejection that -wasn’t actually there-. Often people are a bit exhausted or tired from their jobs or general boredom with life, and i would see this ‘low energy’ of the other person, as a personal rejection of me. it sort of mirrors, and they also see my low energy, or state of ‘backing off’ as a rejection of them. Now i see it for what it is, not as a judgment of me in any way, but that people can often be a bit ‘drained’ and that that is the best place to meet them, i don’t have to ‘act super happy’ i can instead sort of ‘tune in’ to that ‘chill’ frequency, because i know ‘mellow energy’ is not in any way equal to rejection, it’s closer to ~relaxation~. Sometimes you are so excited to talk to someone atravie that you start acting super happy and jumpy, but often they my perfre more of a ‘chill vibe’, because maybe they are pelted by lots of guys already, or especially if they have had a hard day. Even if they are pelted by lots of guys they had to reject, they still ‘have room for desert’ so to speak, as in they’re still hoping one person they are comfortable with does come along. even one guy who is on that right balanced vibe of calm and playful can turn an exhausting day into a good day. Once i watched an actress talk to one hundred guys she was signing autographs for, she looked exhausted, and i almost walked out of the line thinking, ‘she probably doesn’t want to talk to yet another guy’, but then i had this thought, i’m just going to be there to send her good vibes and help her relax / cheer up. I took over the talking so she didn’t have to keep repeating her same old speal, and i actually felt like i saw something change in her. Like she lit up and relaxed.

635895246024855434655902584_rejection1.jpgYou will get a lot of these ‘micro expressions’ that look like rejections, drop outs of energy, or negative thoughts about you, but they OFTEN do NOT have anything to do with you, nothing to do with something you ‘did’ or ‘did not’ do; the real truth is these subtle drop outs in the ‘vibe’ are very normal, these little drop outs of energy may actually be ~necessarily~.. because they are caused by just when someone is thinking too hard, or remembered they left their wallet in an open location and felt afraid, the brain sucks up actual energy in the body, it can cause the eyes to go dull for a moment, and -look- like rejection, but it is actually just the energy being taken by the brain, very deceiving if you don’t understand it, or are falsely expecting to be rejected. It took me like a decade or two to figure this out! To notice i was misreading it. And it’s not ~complicated~, it’s just having a bad social self image caused me to see things differently.

Rejection.pngWhen there is a subtle energetic break like this, you can just alter your rhythm, or continue the converstion, if you take it as rejection, then it becomes rejection, it makes you look fearful and insecure. Most often it is not rejection, it’s more like human inmprefection, it only becomes rejection if like 30 seconds pass and it seems more obvious they are trying to pull their ~entire body~ away. But i lived a lot of my life seeing these rreally subtle expressions as rejection, when they are not! they are in no way rejection! Now i don’t see these micro moments as rejection, so i don’t feel the need to over compensate, and ‘act happer’, i can just allow a pause, or calmly continue the conversation. It’s not the worst thing in the world if you accidentally ‘over talk someone’ and miss that they are -acutally- trying to leave, i feel like there is a tendency in our culture to be ‘in a hurry to go nowhere’, so it may not be the worst reason to delay, these skills of meeting people are ultimately the most important thing anyone can really do weather or not they know it.

Another important point to further it this home, is that the universe isn’t quite ‘as it appears’ i find everything has a sort of ‘time delay’ to it. For example if i decide ‘today i will have a confident self loving attitude’ it will take like 3 hours of me doing that before other people start to notice ‘wow there is something confident and cool about that guy’. there is always a sort of build up, a cultivation, to everything you do. It takes time for energy to travel through space, almost like sound echoing through a sea. Space is sort of fluid, and a lot of time has to be spent just being near people, before real energy and clear communication can be transmitted.

Just being near people, after this ‘delay’ passes as you talk or ‘just be’, giving it time, both (or all) people will feel the exchange of energy in your heart(s). It’s closer to ‘cultivating’, then boring ‘waiting’, hey that rhymes. Don’t ‘wait’, cultivate! It’s like ‘how’ you ‘cultivate’ that matters, how you feel, focusing on the good things. Also ‘where’ you are as you ‘cultivate’ matters a lot. Even when i meditate, i prefer to do it outside and near people, because there is more energy circulating out there. Now my mediation is more of a cultivation, cultivation of energy, calm fun and positive emotion, in the heart itself. Energy makes a huge difference in attracting people. And it starts with loving yourself, and loving yourself -while- being near people. Anything fun or positive can be a means to cultivating energy. I don’t me hyper enthusiasm that you ‘force out’ to get people to like you. This is more of a deep inner body energy, that you ‘breath in’ like air, you continuously take into your body from environmental stimulation, and then circulate / generate in your body, almost like perpetual motion.

A lot of stuff is being delayed, but these ‘delays’ are NOT rejections. When u see they are just ‘delays’ a whole new world of (🎵A WHOLE NEW WORLD🎵sorry) a whole new world of energy possibilities opens up. You are exactly the deep interesting chill vibe person she or he wants to talk to, but it may take them a few minutes to ‘warm up’ to u, just to simply notice. You could have ‘love at first sight’ with someone who has already ‘warmed up’, but i find this is more reliable. The world is full of overlooked beautiful souls that back out and feel they are rejected to early.

In a way it is sort of similar to ‘looking past appearances’, and embracing the ‘time delay’ of energy, and the fruit that energy bares. You can still have a physically attractive person, but this opens you up to more people, in my case, because the energy of multiple people, cultivating that energy into your body, is actually the only way to get an attractive person or any kind of relationship. If your in a situation that talking to someone that isn’t your type, helps you get connected to a group of people, it’s worth it, it opens doors to new friendships, and everyone feels better now that more energy is going around. You are not indebted to someone just because you have talked to them. I don’t want to lead someone on because i know what it’s like to be led on, but when it’s about making the group happy, you transcend all that. Socializing helps the good of the community.