Star Wars Next Trilogy (Ideas)

I have emerged from my basement. I bringith forth treatments for the next few star wars movies set to come out in 2022.

Disney has agreed to purchase my treatments, but says they are under no obligation to use them or any of my ideas. however there is an implication that we are ‘friends’ and that by purchasing them that well you know we are “on good terms”, like “we cool” so they probably will use them, but later when they don’t I will feel betrayed.

Episode 10 — Star Waz — The Dorks Awaken

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Also known as — the Last Skywalker Awakens (working title)

also known as — the Last Gungan, Jar Jar Awakens

(JJ and I are talking about making the logo rainbow and to have a gay pride them with the whole movie.)

Script:

— filler episode —

I will buy time as much as possible. This episode is a “Story for another time” as (Maz Kanata would say.)  I’ve spoken to JJ and he admits we are a bit low on ideas but he thinks we can slide by on this one and play it safe rehashing some old themes. There will be puppets.

Lots of important action needs to happen. The next director can figure out the story details later in the next movie. That is for Ryan Jonson to do, the fans will like whatever he comes up with.

Episode 11 — The Rise of Jar Jar Binks

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(Jar Jar, Rule of Two)

(Co directed by Zwackery Zweevel (my discrete pen name) and Ryan Johson)

At the start of the movie Snoke returns. He had many clone bodies, he was embarrassed about being palpatine’s puppet, that is why he was created (as was obvious all along if you were really paying attention) but over time he grew his own consciousness and personality that was apart from palpatine’s control.

Our heroes and other villain characters have gathered for a big showdown with Snoke.

“It was I who allowed Palpatine to be resurrected. It was I who ….” idk. Snoke

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“I see all endings and possibilities!” Snokes voice booms. “I see the very thoughts in your mind! I cannot be betrayed!!” he is pretty epic.

Snoke address everyone in the room. People are afraid.

Snoke hears the thoughts of people in the room. They are wondering about his true identity. Many excited onlookers wonder who Snoke is. …Is he Mace Windo?? That seems most likely….

It is very annoying, Snoke is telepathic and hears all the thoughts.. It is annoying.
“I’m just Snoke!!” He booms.

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“Not yet.” Mace Windu arrives.

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“A jedi can survive a fall from a great hight.” He says. He is horribly disfigured from his electrocution and fall and severed hand during revenge of the Sith. Windu’s face is covered in electrocution burns. (Lucus decided it was ok that Windu ‘may have survived’ so wala!) He draws his purple lightsabor.

Snoke hits him with a massive surge of force lighting … he goes flying out the window / windu, and meets the same fate.

Many people are shocked. Shocked because this debunks the Windu is Snoke theory many were sure about. But none are as Shocked as Windu!! (eletra shocked)

“Maybe he is Darth Plaguies!!” Someone shouts. “… Maybe he is King Joffrey” Another cries. Everyone is trying to guess at the true identity of Snoke.

“That’s it!! I’m just friggin Snoke!!!”

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Then Jar Jar appears and stabs him.

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Ohhh that hurts. Snoke is killed immediately.

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Jar Jar takes the throne.

“Mesa been waiting a long time for this.”

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Rey Skywalker Palpatine confronts Jar Jar.

“Mesa smiling to see you!” Jar Jar says.

“I killed Sidious!” Rey shouts.

Jar Jar smirks. “Mesa CREATED Sidious!!” The big reveal we have all waited for. Expectations fully subverted.

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“So it was him all along… pulling the strings… it was Jar Jar” Rey Skywalker Palpatine says. The truth is finally understood. Leia and Kathleen Kennedy both understood the truth that all along Sidious had been pulling the strings, but now Rey understood the truth truth that all all along Jar Jar had been behind Sidious as well!

Jar Jar reveals that his true source of power is the “Toxic Fandom”

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“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hatred of the Prequels. Leads to the dark side!” Jar Jar hisses.

When all the fans hate Jar Jar, Jar Jar — feeds — on their hate, growing stronger with the dark side. Aka the ‘Dork Side’.

(This may end up being a very ‘controversial’ movie. A truly brilliant masterwork that ‘subverts expectations’ to the fullest.)

Rey is afraid. Jar Jar is way too powerful!!

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That is when Luke Skywalker’s force ghost appears to help Rey.

Rey tosses him a lightsaber.

Luke grabs it.

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then he tosses it over his shoulder.

“Nahh!” is all he says.

….I think Luke has had enough with this whole thing. Then he just fades out.

Luke was kinda depressed because his favorite TV show “Holiday Special” (it centers around Wookies and Jawas I think) was canceled. So he had a crisis of faith, became a hermit. “It is time for the Jedi to end. I came her to die.” he says later in the movie. I suppose he is a ghost now anyway though…

Flashback to 10 years ago………

It turns out George Lucas wrote treatments for episodes 10 to 12 and they were actually quite detailed. True brilliant masterworks. Undiscovered, unnoticed.

Lucas was mad Disney rejected them. He put them in a clear plastic box and cast them into the river.

Things that should not have been forgotten were lost. Years later the most unlikely creature found them at the bottom of the river while he was diving… a Snoke.

Snoke opened the treatments… he read Lucas’s masterworks and saw they were truly brilliant, it brought Snoke to tears.

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For years Snoke stayed in his cave pouring over Lucas glorious star wars treatments, they painted a picture of an alternate timeline where everything was just much more interesting, even though Snoke himself wasn’t even in this story, he loved them anyway. “My precious” he said.

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That was when hard core lucas fans appeared and attacked Snoke and took the treatments.

This was the event that broke Snoke and turned him to the dark side.

“They took MY PRECIOUS!!!!!”

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……….

Now years later Jar Jar is a shadow over the galaxy. Rey follows the clues, the trail of  Lucas’s inigmatic lost Star Wars ‘Sequel Sequel’ treatments. Finally she finds them.

…The story must continue, and Lucas is all they have left now. Disney failed, and Darth Jar Jar just became even more powerful.

A group of hard core fans have Lucas’s treatments.

Rey has to convince them to hand them over.

“the cannon timeline is ruined” the fans insist  “the EU is all we have left now”

Rey tries to convince them there is still hope for the canon timeline, and that Georges treatments could save them all. But they will have to give her the treatments.

They insist they cannot, the treatments are too precious. “My precious” they say. They can risk giving them to anyone, they are kept in a vault.

“You must believe!” Rey says. “Dreams are built on hope.”

“We can’t. We just aren’t… that invested in your character. We don’t know your weaknesses, we don’t care about your backstory, what is your personality?” The toxic fandom fans say..

“This is my weakness.” Ray says “I don’t give a shit.”

Rey channels her full power to push the dorks aside and break in to the vault. The power of her long lost first ancestor she has been reincarnated from, Mary Rey Sue, the first Jedi, the first avatar, the last air bender….AND her immense power from her Palpatine bloodline. She breaks in and gets the treatments and force pushes all the nerds away. Truly insidious.

She takes the treatments to Jar Jar.

Jar Jar is full of rage, but when he reads over lucas’s treatments he burst into tears…

“That is all mesa wanted!!!” it turns out he isn’t even in the sequel sequel treatments (or the sequel treatments) but it doesn’t matter. Because george’s script is glorious.

That is when George Lucas appears,

…..his midichlorians… are amazing,

you can just see it in his hair.

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“Disney may have went too far in a few places.” Lucas grins.

Lucas will save this falling trilogy with a last minute script amendment.

“What a twist!” JJ Abrams remarks, full of excitement and he watches from the sidelines. “This part was even better in the episode 11 novelization!”

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Jar Jar looks at the ground…. Mesa so filled with hate… but finally everything he wanted had come true…. He never actually thought this would come to pass.

“The truth is…. Mesa too filled with rage. Mesa never expected mesa dream to happen. Mesa can’t let go of the dark side!!!” Jar Jar continues attacking people. The hatred has gone on too long. Even this act of kindness can’t reverse all the hate that has happened. He is of the dark side now. Jar Jar is unhindged. He begins letting out goofy Jar Jar noises and shooting people dead at random with force lightning.

Lucas gaters teh force around him. He is powerful. “Jar Jar…. you were the key to all this!! You were supposed to be a funnier character than we’ve ever had….. Not leave star wars in darkness!!!!”

Then another person… a secret Jedi…. Steps out to protect jar jar.

It is Kathleen Kennedy.

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She ignites a blue light saber. It is luke’s original light saber. Only it isn’t. She just thinks it is because she wasn’t really paying attention. That is not that essential though anyway. That’s a story for another time.

Lucas “Kathleen… you were my friend.” Lucas speaks in that funny mubely way he does sometimes, which makes the moment a bit humorous when everything else about it is serious. “You were supposed to be my woman on the inside. You were supposed to filter my ideas into Disney. Not join them!! You were there specifically to keep my ideas in the game. Not leave them in darkness!!!”

“Um….” Kathleen says… she forgot her lies. She looks at JJ Abrams who stands off to the side.

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“Don’t look at me!” He laughs nervously.

“The force is female!!!!” Kathleen cries.

Kathleen and Lucas spar. It is intense and epic. Way more epic than anything we have seen thus far. Lucas has the unparalleled power of a glorious lone wolf director. Kathleen has the financial backing of the Disney corporation behind her. They were once friends… not bitter rivals. It is not a fun battle.

Lucas uses the force. Kathleen uses the force. Kathleen brings down a heavy metal beam to crush Lucas, Lucas grabs it with the force and pushes it aside. Kathleen looks pissed and a bit afraid or surprised.

The rivalry between Kathleen and Lucas is more bitter than between Lucas and Disney, because Kathleen was supposed to be Lucas’s friend, the betrayal is stronger. Lucas sold star wars to white slavers… but she was supposed to be his person on the inside. It turned out that both she and Bob Igar had been working for the Sith.

Lucas throws Kathleen Kennedy out the window. She is floating in space.

“It is done.” Lucas says “Kill the past. Let it die if you have to.” he ignites an extremely cumbersome additional two mini saber blades on the hilt of his saber (like Kylo Ren). “Owoch!!” it burns his hand and he drops it. “Damn this is impractical. Who would design a saber like this!!” It is frustrating, the star wars universe is not the way he left it.

The camera pans over to JJ Abrams.

Abrams avoids eye contact. “Real sets! Real puppets!!” He says.

Kathleen is floating in space. We zoom in on her freezing body. Kathleen unlocks the ‘Marry Poppins’ force ability and flies back in. She is a level 62 force user.

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They are fighting again.

“What do the sequels have. No new words, new stores, new technologies… nothing. Just copies of the originals. They are safe movies. Not good movies.” Lucas says.

“WE didn’t know what to do!! We created a movie FOR THE FANS!!” Katleen says “What do you expect of me George!” She is a wreck. She knows she is getting let go.

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“They wanted strong females. Strong females! This isn’t like harry potter!! We had no SOURCE MATERIAL! There are no comics. There are no star wars books!!”

“You have the expanded universe!!” Lucas says. “Hundreds of expanded universe novels.”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS” Kathleen cries. “I don’t speak dork!!!!”

“We will see what the senate has to say about that!!” George says to Kathleen.

“I am the Senate!!!” Kathleen hisses.

“Not yet!!” Mace window says again. He is climbing back in through the window. (windu). He is even more disfigured then he was before. “A jedi can survive a fall from a great height.” He says again. Drawing his purple saber.

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Kathleen hisses and hits mace with an intense blast of force lighting.

“UNLIMITED POWER” She shouts.

This time mace Windu uses ‘vapad’ his ‘force anger’ technique to absorb some of the lightning. Mace Windu has almost zero plot armor protecting him. He probably will die according to the direction of the script…… Mace has a 99.66% chance of going out that window again. … yet there is something cold and steely and epic about his gaze… it is chilling… his badass stare might just win the day.

Jar Jar attacks Windu from the other side. Windu whirls around. It is an epic dual.

Kathleen hits Windu with force lightning again. This time he is too preoccupied with Jar Jar. The lighting lifts him up into the air and sweeps him out the window (windu) again. He falls to his hypothetically implied death.

(He might survive though. A jedi can survive a fall from a great height.)

Katleen has occupied Lucas, Jar Jar is dangerous and free to kill….

Anikins force ghost appears to fight Jar Jar while Lucas fights Kathleen. Ankin the chosen one gets his redemption moment. George is writing the script now so we are allowed to have good scenes.

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Jar Jar is taking damage now. He is at half power. He is down to only one Jar.

“Goodbye old friend.” Anakin says to Jar Jar. He is conflicted about this, Jar Jar is an old friend. It is bittersweet.

“Mesa smilin too–” jar Jar starts to say through tears…

Then Anakin chops off Jar Jars head in a vicious brutal manner.

“I killed them. I killed them all. They are like animals. So I slaughtered them like animals!” Anakin says.

“Take a seat young Skywalker” Mace Windus force ghost says.

Anakins ghost fades away.

“It’s over Kathleen. I have the high ground.” Lucas says.

“You underestimate women’s empowerment.” Kathleen hisses.

Kathleen spirals through the air in a Sith like motion.

Lucas cuts off all her limbs in a single motion.

“I Hate you!!!!!” Kathleen hisses.

“We may have gone too far in a few places.” Lucas says with some remorse as Kathleen catches fire, it is brutal.

“Well guys” Lucas addresses all the actors and writers and effects artists in the room. (dead Snoke and dead Jar Jar are still there too.) “Lets get cracking.” His use of langue is comically anticlimactic considering we are about to get a new Lucas made script for EPISODE 12.

“Not yet!” Bob Iger from Disney steps in.

“What is it Bob?” George says.

“You’ve had your chance. the fans weren’t happy whit the Prequels. JJ is still here. Disney wants to stick with him on the next trilogy… and maybe the Wiess brothers.”

JJ laughs nervously in the background.

“Not this old hubbub rubbish again.” George sighs. “JJ had his shot too.”

“A fair point. How about this. You have to write the epised with JJ’s help. But if you and JJ fight to the death, and you win, then you can write it without his supervision.

JJ laughs nervously again.

“Alrighty!!” Lucas says. He ignites his green saber.

JJ ignites a blue saber. then he drops it.

“Actually i don’t know how to use this.” He laughs.

Then an army of Snoke clones burst out of the back room.

“They are a hive mind.” JJ grins. “They all work for me!!!!”

Lucas has to fight all the Snoke clones at once.

“I’m getting ideas all ready!!” JJ says. “Lets call this star wars Episode 12, Attack of the Clones!!”

“Damn it JJ, that’s Episode II!” Lucas says.

“Attack of the Snoke Clones!!” JJ Says.

“This isn’t a Snoke!! Stop Snoking around” Lucas says.

“Be careful not to Snoke on your aspirations!” JJ says. Capturing Lucas in a force choke temporarily. JJ looks sadistic as he chokes Lucas. Lucas summons even more medichlorians and breaks free. His power is so immense. His hair is so amazing.

The Snoke clones all uses force lighting on Lucas. It is an electrical nightmare. Windu would not be pleased. But Lucas has an amazing Yoda like ability, he uses a green force energy to absorb all the lightning.

Lucas defeats all the clones.

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JJ laughs again, then in a loud rattling blast of chaotic noise and dark energy JJ transforms into the smoke monster from lost and flies away in a creepy snake like motion, slithering out the window (windu).

A polar bear watches in the distance. As if he is contemplating weather to come forward.

“Hello there” Lucas says.. “You there, you have something to say don’t you?”

The polar bear, cautiously comes forward…

“I know what is going on here.” He says. “It will all make sense in season 6. But you have to watch the next six seasons.” then he fades away.

Lucas feels really confused… and mostly lost. JJ is a master of suspense.

the polar bear fades back in for a moment. “By the way, i have a new gig on his Dark Materials. Great show. I highly recommend it.” then he fades away again.

“Well guys….” “it’s time to…” Lucas pauses… looking over his shoulder… he is starting to feel paranoid that someone else will interrupt him again… “lets get cracking!” There. He said it. No one interrupted.

“Not … ….. YET!”

Someone enters the room. (we are still in Snokes throne room… but it is also like a movie set kind of)

A big shadowy figure…

The figure… is a very large man… obese even … on an electric wheelchair.

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It is Plinkett. The angry star wars Prequel critic.

…Behind him is an army of angry star wars fans… Lucas and Anakin defeated Jar Jar… and JJ.. but they were only manifestations … of the true crisis …… now Lucas will have to face the toxic fandom itself. the fandom menace…

“No one hates star wars more then star wars fans.” Yoda once said.

All of them, the fans, are protected by heavy layers of plot armor. The truth is… this is what George had been most afraid of . Plinkett totally destroyed and roasted his Star Wars Prequels in the Plinkett Critiques. George was hoping Plinkett would not show up here on this day. He was hoping that maybe the arthritis had gotten to him by now. But now… he’s still alive and kicking.

“What is a Pilnkeet?” A spectator in the background asks. Not everyone knows who Plinkett is, ti’s very confusing.

“A Plinkett is a tool you use to dismantle star wars movies.” anther replies.

“You destroyed our childhoods…!! Don’t think we can forgive you yet!” Plinkett says. “you ravaged our dreams. Now we will destroy you!”

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He fires a rocket from a missile launcher that is part of the arm of his bulky black  wheelchair.

Using a technique taught to him by Kylo Ren… George Lucas uses the force to stop the rocket mid flight. He crushes it… rendering it inert.

Now Plankett is getting serious. For the first time ever…. Plinkett stands up… getting up off his wheelchair.. His legs are feebly and vaniey.. with arthritis… they almost don’t support his immense weight. He falls to one knee.. Several of his angry fan supporters help him back up to his feet.

Blankett firers a massive blast of force lighting at Lucas. there is so much hate in him.. and the fan around him …. the toxic fan base… make it ever stronger.. they are all wearing gray Sith robes and chanting.

“The Prequels are not bad movies!!” George Lucas says.

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“Nooooooooooo!!!!” Plinkeet screams. “I have not lived all this time through liver failure just to see another rendition of the Star Wars Prequels!!”

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“The trade federation crisis on Naboo was a cool idea!” Lucas says.

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Plinkeet can’t listen to this. he shrieks and covers his ears temporary stopping the force lighting. just hearing this like like having sand in his ears. it is course rough and irritating. just having someone say the Prequels are “good movies” is a cruse.. it spreads.. it gets everywhere. …..It is important to gather critical thinking fans together, to make sure that blasphemous talk like that is shut down.

“I was raised on star wars” PlinkeeEet fires back “Lucas.. are like my FATHER!!”

“Nooooooooo!!!” Lucas shouts. “Nooooooo!!!!” He shouts again.. This is the last thing he want to hear. He is just desperate for the chilling agony of this realization of him having any familial relation to Plinkett to stop.

PlinkeeEeeEet continues firing this river of force lighting at Lucas who is struggling to block it. There is so much hate… this is way stronger then the lighting from Kathleen or Snoke.

Lucas might be strong enough to be this… but the truth is .. his hope is fragile… part of him wonders if Plantlike is right… maybe I really did ravage their childhoods?  It plays on his self doubt. A fear he has always had… Lucas is backing down… he is being defeated.

Suddenly the force ghost of every Jedi significant to the plot appear around Lucas to help him. Ashoka, Anakin, Kit Fisto, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Obi Wan, Jabba the Huts tail Rat, Dexter Jetster, Watto… Also the ghost of Goku appears right next to Lucas, just behind him (like from the end of the kid Gohan vs Cell scene)

Plunkeete is really angry now. He keeps firing back more lighting… but Lucas is slowly walking forward.

“I am ALL the Sith!!!” The fat in his cheeks trembles with rage.

Plinkett is struggling…. over the years he has needed increasing amounts of Ada-van to numb the pain of his drinking and obesity. His cartoonification falls off. This is his true face behind the Sith mask.

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….Earlier JJ dropped a blue light saber.

Lucas uses the force to draw it all the way from across the room. Now he holds 2 sabers. one green, one blue.

“And I am all the Jedi” Lucas says. with the exact speed and movement choreography as Rey in the Rise of Palpatine.. I mean Skywalker.

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it is such a cool line. it makes the seen so unique and unpredictable… It’s like poetry, it rhymes. Plinkett is blown up. Bam. he just bursts.

all the fans amscray.

Lucas falls to the floor… he is tired… so tired. That last battle was harder then the others… it took all the life out of him.

Kylo Ren climbs in through the windu (The mace window. the window has been named after mace now. in honor of his death. This movie will also have a long funeral seen to honor the death of Mace Window following this battle (if the battle does in fact have an end, we are still writing the script. Each movie of the new trilogy will be primarily dedicated to the death of a Jedi from the previous much older trilogies.).).. Kylo looks beat up … he must have fallen out earlier… he is dying, his value to the plot is dying I mean…. but he gives the last of his life force, his story significance… to save Lucas who is at risk of developing heart trouble after all this excitement. Kylo Ren gives his life force to Lucas.. kisses him unexpectedly without even a single date or romantic conversation… and then fades away.

Before proceeding with the main plot.. all the characters… friends .. aliens.. side characters.. protagonist. this new trilogy has 3 lead protagonist. the new Rey Fin and Poe.. but we haven’t even met them yet... (they will be played by Chloe Felicity and Dafne) we had too much unresolved ’emotional baggage’ and nostalgia value to take care of from the previous films.. the plot stops … we take a 5 minute break to morn the loss of Mace Windu at his funeral. everyone cries. A lead protagonist was so distracted by Mace’s death that he stops fighting and gets his head chopped off.. this was back an hour ago during the Snoke Clone wars. The funeral scene is longer in the extended version of the film.. we only get five minutes of it here.

Now Lucas has a world full of people who want to help him make the next episodes.

He hires a writer. The writer writes 50 pages based of Lucas’s ideas.

The writer has some depression… just a spell of writers block. He says “I can’t get the story to flow, it isn’t flowing.”

Lucas says. “Ok”

They give up.

(To be fair Lucas is a bit disheartened after all this time… I don’t know… maybe it had something to do with the “you r888888 our childhood” comment).

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Rise of Skywalker; Addressing Fan Hate; (and bonus Darth Jar Jar thesis)

My thoughts on the new star wars.

Sometimes I feel frustrated with the fan base of how much they hate anything. I feel happy to see star wars finally back after it’s fifteen year absence. There’s a lot I enjoy about the new movies, and many of the problems they do have are classic Hollywood storytelling limitations, like focusing on action instead of plot. Or using suspense to hide a lack of plot.

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(You can really feel jar jar’s power in this shot. Props to JJ Abrams. Jar Jar is a real role model to adults and teens everywhere, Binks is a guy who can keep things lighthearted, but also channel immense dark side rage. Jar Jar is an Icon for edgy teens carrying the heavy responsibilities of millennial ambitions like getting better at mine craft and fortnight. Lonely fans identify with the way Jar Jar is hated on the internet, and being outcast by his own kind. And when Jar Jar reveals his true Sith self in Star Wars Episode 11, it inspires other outcast star wars fans to channel their own inner rage for political gain.)

The force awakens was like a copy cat movie, stalling to buy time. it didn’t do that many interesting things, maybe at the very beginning, like when kylo stopped that laser. Kylos force anger is comically exaggerated and actually makes him look childish and non threatening. The most terrifying thing about Kylo Ren is his absence of back story. The total absence of any reason to relate to him or justify his motivates, and it’s scary potential to derail the entire excitement of the story. Kylo Ren turns bad because “Snoke”? Do they realize how not interesting that is. People think good story is about powerful wizards and great battles…. but really it is about character. Game of Thrones… Lord of the Rings… those are actually stories about character development. The characters drive the stories in good stories… when the story is driving the characters the entire time… that becomes 2 dimensional.
I liked the last Jedi, but it felt like a filler episode at times, it was drawn out, the character development details were not there, even though I liked to plot. (they go on this whole crazy journey just to learn about ‘failure’ and it turns out the stubborn annoying general (Holdo) with her plan, was actually right) I liked that Luke has a struggle of faith, even though it was exaggerated over the top. They did not explain it well enough to justify. A kid goes bad, bam, Luke the great Jedi has a forever melt down, but it was an interesting concept. One of the best parts of the movie was when Luke talks about Palpatine, because it’s nice that they -finally- did something to show that these movies are connected and that Luke has had time to learn more about the past actually. But that only goes to show how much better and more detailed the old movies were, just being reminded of them was like the best part.

 

Rise of Skywalker

(spoilers, don’t read until you watch)

I loved it
when we see Kylo talk to Rey, and fight Rey, he redeems his character, he seems threatening.
i loved the return of Palpatine, even though it is missing all explanation, and was too obvious, too easy a choice, it fits thematically with the story of star wars, which is so important because Star Wars was at risk of loosing it’s theme, it’s purpose.

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I loved JJ’s lost. and loved his ideas, but people have since pointed out that he is good at ‘creating suspense’ without unveiling much of anything. and you can see that with the sequel trilogy. however i just loved the new one. The first two movies are like filler episodes, you could condense them into 30 minutes and put this movie on top of it, and then call it something cooler like “Rise of Palpatine” because that sounds more creative and has a double meaning. Titles like “Last Jedi” “Skywalker” “Force Awakens” Those are all attempts to borrow on the previous greatness of star wars. they are ‘safe’ titles, as they are also ‘safe’ movies. Not so creative as “Attack of the Clones” “Revenge of the Sith”. You can tell just from the title that these movies are different then the previous ones. Even to someone who isn’t fully paying attention you look at the title and feel a bit discouraged because you know there won’t be anything truly new. (I think the words Sith and Clones were mentioned in the OT, but they were certainly not the focus, it was brave,or just natural, of Lucas to bring the creativity to explore those ‘history’ elements of the story)

there were many things in Rise of Skywalker that fit with the essence of star wars even though they lacked explanation that could have made it much more interesting. it leaves it open to imagination, but it would have been better with explanation. like when Palpatine says “I am all the Sith” that is really interesting, but they have never introduced this concept, and at no point is there further explanation of it. it has cool implications. It’s the same thing with Palp’s resurrection. We don’t see it on screen. that is just bad. his return is the most shocking part and we don’t even see they was people react to it. That aside, From the very beginning, and if you read the (Darth Plaguius book) they have suggested that Palpatine and his master were learning how to use the force to create life and defy death. but it would have been better if they had a flashback of Palatine falling down the shaft after Vader throws him. then somewhere else much latter, maybe on the sunken death star, or in his dark sith building on Exogol, he just ‘wakes up’ in this clone body that he had prepared ahead of time.IMG-3941 that would make sense. another less practical method, is that someone uses both technology and a sith ritual to conjure his spirit back into a new body, a new cloned vessel for him, sometime later, but I like to keep it on the technological side. there is opportunity for so much interesting technology, story, and philosophical dialogue, but they just don’t go there.

i like that idea that ‘intention’ can lead you to the light side or the dark side, even more so then action. if Rey kills Palatine out of desire for Revenge she could be possessed by the will of the Sith and the dark side, if she kills him out of necessity, to protect the people and the fleet, she is still true to the light side, her mortals. but they give this no explanation, and there is so much room for interesting dialogue around this. all that is to be expected with American action movies where they expect. It was just so much better then it could have been. And i was concerned more then once, like concerned Palpatine would die too easy, which did happen in one of JJ’s “Six endings” that they filmed. Episodes seven and eight were like two time watch movies. Meaning i watch them twice. where all the other star wars movies i could watch them once a year, so that’s like 20 watches. George created those movies. These movies have more classic Hollywood stile of action and less complex dialogue and world building detail. Hollywood thinks people don’t like that. It’s too much of a risk, a break from the formula, the formula of big exploding robots. So i feel we should encourage movies like this for going in the right direction. I never expected them in a million years to go with the “Rey is a Palpatine” twist, and that was exactly what myself and many other fans wanted. And i think Ryan Jonson’s idea was of having her be “Nobody” sends a really inspiring message that you can succeed without being from an important bloodline. But the Rey Palatine thing ties into the essence of star wars, that you are not your parents, you are not your past, you can change things. but it is scary because it means recognizing the temptation for the dark-side in you. There were many cool concepts they could have elaborated on but didn’t. But I’m still glad they put it out there.

IMG-3877It would have been cool is Palpatine after he drains Rey and Kylo, they are too week to do anything, so Palpatine boards a ship, and flys away somewhere, maybe there is some place he can go to increase his powers, or find a new apprentice, he becomes the “Emperor” again, or the “Supreme Leader”. That would be a cool moment, to have the old Palpatine return, now that he is juiced up on life juice. That way the movie has more plot, where before many of the different planets Rey goes to are just to draw out the suspense and don’t add anything to the story or characters. Cut that out. Palpatines return to being the Emperor could be like a stage three of the movie. Rey and Kylo experience failure. but now they are on the right course. they are united together. and the true evil is revealed. Palpatine gets a chance to demonstrate his political cunning, his ‘two faced’ nature, which is the reason he is interesting. and not just be this ‘classic evil monster guy’ that he is in the movie. In the prequels he was one of the most motivated and sophisticated two faced villains of all time. Here he is just ‘evil guy’.

Kylo’s death at the end of the movie is ok. but it’s just for drama. it’s like some ‘hack’ to make your movie seem like shakespeer. But they had an opportunity to further the ‘message and purpose’ of star wars. by having kylo has to live on with his sin and redeem himself. that would be interesting, like Boyaga stops being a storm trooper. Kylo now has to redeem himself, though there is way more to redeem for him. It would be cool, knowing people like Fin and Poe will hate his guts for a long time. But Rey will love him. I liked that they kiss, even though it doesn’t make sense because they have like very little dialogue after he turns good. People think dialogue is ‘mundane’ to ‘basic’ to be important. I like the kiss though because you can feel attraction without talking. and he sacrificed his life to bring her back.

But it would be more interesting to see them both living on together, redeeming the force together light side and former dark side working together. they learn to deepen their understanding of the force and accept things they couldn’t accept before. like some kind of link between the light and dark side, where before they were separate and divide. no one wants to forgive Kylo, but they need his help to stop Palpatine, and when people like Fin start to see the good in Kylo that helps strengthen them with the force. Getting past the anger and revenge stuff.

Now that Palpatine is seen to be a serious real danger, that the battle can potentially go either way, it’s more exciting to see this next fight because Palpatine has beaten them before and we don’t even know if he has played all his cards yet. He is going somewhere to become even more powerful. Maybe he is contacting some other sith. Or maybe like some kind of fallen Jedi, that would mirror Kylo as the former ‘sith’ kind of. Rey vs Palatine, Kylo vs fallen Jedi person. There seems to be this idea that the story has to revolve around Rey Kylo and some other big villain guy and you can’t introduce new ‘key’ characters, additional characters have to be majorly less significant then the main two or three. that limits the story. it is fear to show creativity. the Star-wars Prequels introduced new formidable opponents all the time. It felt like each movie had two major villains, it was dynamic, where the new star wars, there are only two or three villains, Palpatine, Snoke, Kylo, who are a true threat, and even then kylo is defeated in the first movie, and is unstable like a child.

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In conclusion, what is the meaning of Jar Jar? George Lucas said, in the outrageously out of context statement “Jar Jar is the key to all this”. what did he really mean by that?

Over the decades Jar jar has played an integral role in star wars. His central position in starwars is only highlighted all the more so by his total absence from Epsidoes 7 to 9. While Jar Jar has disapred from the big screen, seemly taken a humble bow, his infamy on the internet is stronger then ever in recent years. “Good Gooo00oood” To quote the Dark Lord of the Sith, all hail my master Supreme Chancellor Palps. Binks has been at the heart of many memes and hilarious youtube videos.

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Maybe Lucas meant that in their hated of Jar Jar, the fans themselves abandoned our Gungan friend. Jar Jar had little guidance, and screen time, and in his isolation he fell pray to the dark sides manipulations and granted emergency powers to Supreme Chancellor Palatine.

Which allowed the secret Sith lord to turn the Republic into the Empire, aka Disney. We abandoned jar Jar Projected our sadness over lost Original Trilogy nostalgia in the Prequels onto the goofy funny innocent Gungan. when the fans delved too far into their hatred, they awakened the Belrog of Kylo Ren. the  sad edgy over hyped Vader Copycat (Who is redeemed only by the great acting of Adam Driver).

The fans blinded by nostalgia for the Original Trilogy, projected their hatred onto Jar Jar, witch lead to haters on the internet, witch lead to Lucas handing Star Wars to Disney, witch lead to Disney rejecting Lucas’s Sequel Trilogy Treatments, because of fear that the fans hated Lucas’s newer ideas, and they coped the Original Trilogy in the new films to please the fans as they themselves say. They made safe movies.

As the philosopher Nitchie said “when tho doth hate Star Wars Prequels, be careful tho doth not becomith onto the dark side.”

Argo, we the fans, in our hatred of Jar Jar, we became Darth Jar Jar. We turned ourselves and star wars to the dark side, into the dark side Empire of Disney capitalism. Lucas foresaw all of this when he channeled the force through his high medichlorian count, thus the true meaning of his statement “Jar Jar is the Key to all this” finally unveiled decades later in a random blog post.

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The truth is…

 

I am a fan of the prequels.

 

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Star wars was already good. But the OT fans hated the Prequels so relentlessly for not being exactly like the originals, for being a wildly new and different kind of star wars story, that Lucas became discouraged and gave star wars to Disney. And Disney also felt uneasy to included any of Lucas’s ideas for this very reason. Ironically the fans who thought they hated Lucas’s ideas, hated the Disney films that were designed specifically to give them what they thought they wanted.

Ironically

200_s

And finally Disney not knowing what to do for their third final film, finally went back to Lucas for help, and that was when they created a movie everyone could enjoy that actually went back to the heart of star wars. they didn’t even have to think that much. the material is already there, they just had to evoke it. All they had to do was bring back the “Sith”, just putting that word in the film was a risk they had not been willing to take before, because “Sith” is a prequel word. Yet it evokes so much lore, so much depth and history and demotion to star wars, what hte new movies were lacking.

 

Fans of the OT, raved on the Prequals for their ‘bad dialogue’, but the thing is that is so irrelevant, or at least secondary to what star wars is about. those movies sold so many copies, and inspired hundreds of EU novels. The OT fans came out about their hatred of the Prequels, and my generation, the ‘younglings’ of star wars, followed suit to our elder star wars fans. But those of us like me who grew up with the prequels, we loved them, and i even think Jar Jar is hilarious, Jar Jar is 1000 times more hilarious specifically because so many people hate him to this ridiculousness degree. but yeah, I’m glad that episodes II and III became more adult. Kid Anikin was not important to the story. It was like a marketing thing to make the movie appeal to children, even though Star Wars obviously has themes that are serious to the fullest degree.

Addressing the ‘bad dialogue’ of the prequels. that is something that can be learned from. not a sign that Lucas was some kind of unhinged creative gone off the deep end. as a visionary it’s not his job to get the specifics of dialogue, and he could have hired someone else to review his dialogue and improve it. it is something to learn from. not a sign of the end of star wars lol. but it became the end when fans attacked Lucas as a person. that was scary. to me he is still an idol.

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You also hear about the overuse of ‘CGI’ witch is infuriating, because Lucas basically invented CGI. i saw a documentary about it. it is amazing. i had no idea. I thought he was just the idea man, but the company he started revolutionized the modern movie making industry into what it is today. and those movies use CGI in ways that are more fascinating then even most movies today use it. People should have been in awe of the CGI and instead it was criticized for going to far. But that is normal considering it was just invented for them to be excited about it.

When you look at the plot lines of the Prequels they are all so dynamic and exciting compared to the new trilogy. And there is all kinds of deeper meaning that isn’t even mentioned in the dialogue. Such as how on the surface Anakin is a spoiled brat, but in reality it is the Jedi who push him over the edge by being to strict. Anakin is a guy who is motivated by love, he loves his mother and wife, and the Jedi reinforce that he keep these feelings a secret rather then open up about them. It kind of reminds me of when people are really optimistic relentlessly all the time but hide their problems and can’t stand to hear others mention a problem in the world. The Jedi are ‘selfless’, yet they don’t have the whole picture. and when i wanted the movies as a kid i always figured Anakin was the bad one, and the Jedi were good, but over time watching this movie over the years there is so much more to glean from it. Palpatine pushes Anakin to the dark side by planting a vision of his wife dying into his head, and we never even get this ‘on screen’. but you can infer that it happened. as you can infer, that Palpatine only had so much influence over Anakin because his support system in Obi Wan and the Jedi Council was not actually that strong or emotionally deep. It was just like this absolute buddhim kind of “let go over everything” attitude, that sounds noble, but isn’t even human really. the Jedi were selfless, they saw themselves as beyond human.

rrr

The Sith are selfish. they channel the shadow self, and even though they are truly evil, they actually have a hidden message to teach the Jedi about something they do not understand or accept about themselves. the Jedi have abstracted themselves out of reality. and it is there if you look for it. when anakin says “I”M sorry Obi Wan, I’ve just been so frustrated with the council lately.” you see it, that he is missing a support system, and it is not because he doesn’t want one, it is the opposite, he wants the wisdom and guidance of the jedi, but he feels, he just knows something is missing. because being with Padame feels right, even though it is forbidden. he is driven by these big love emotions that make him powerful with the force, more so then other Jedi. because he doesn’t understand these emotions, he is turned to the dark side.

As a kid I always saw Obi Wan as the good guy, and he is a real role model and cool character, but in a strange way I always felt like Qui Gon gin was even cooler. and someone pointed out that Qui Gon understood the contradictions of the Jedi council, he was not a ‘grey Jedi’ but in fact the opposite, he was a true Jedi, he saw Anakins potential, but after he died, Obi Wan didn’t know what to do other then whatever the Council told him to do. Qui Gon was a Jedi who trusted his own intuition even over the collective advice of the council. we know little about him. but i like to think that he was more liberated, in a good way, liberated from the ‘hive mind’ kind of thinking.

The movies -never- take credit for how brilliant they are. there is no character in the movie who points it out (as you see in many anime), or puts into words what is really going on, their are so many gray areas, and it is up to the audience to see the deeper meanings.

 

As an aside, why is it that bilbo Baggins reminds me of my mothers mother (a round happy surviver of depression). and Palpatine reminds me of my fathers mother (paranoid, cunning, wise).

Palpatine “I have waited a loooong time for this… to welcome my grandson.”

“You will take a seat”

“You will eat a prune”

“We will chat while I play jeprody reruns all day in the background.”