It is Ok to be Attracted to Girls (the opposite sex)

This sounds like an obvious statement. However I used to think that it wasn’t ok to show girls you were attracted to them, not under any circumstances. I always got the feeling and the signal that they weren’t interested, and even looking at them, making eye contact could be bothersome for them. I felt the feelings were not appropriate to have at all, or even that women were ‘above’ those feelings that men had, and that I had to suppress or ignore them

However I was making a lot of false assumptions or assumptions that weren’t ‘quite true’. The assumptions came from a place of insecurity and self doubt. Low self image. There is a ‘right way’ to express those feelings, and it doesn’t even have to be that complicated. It’s just about simple stuff like saying “hello” and being around people and sending the right small yet appropriate signals. Not even to every single person, it’s ok just to say it to people you find interesting. Adding a little light hearted humor into the way you say things. And also a big one is approaching people / the opposite sex, in a way that is compassionate and helpful because frequently people are ‘dealing’ with something, and may appreciate a helping hand, literally or metaphorically, it often just means being their to listen. We think we have to use all these complex pickup-lines but often girls just want a guy who will be there to listen.

Now when I see girls I like, I am finding simple appropriate ways to let them know I like them. There is a right way and a wrong way to do this. And sometimes even if you know the right way, it might not work on certain people, like if they are too shy. Yet I’ve seen this work in all kinds of places, even at work where relationship are not allowed, I will be making tons of eye contact with cute girls/women and feeling connection and chemistry to them. It is all very ‘appropriate’. Yet keeping things appropriate allows me to feel lots of great feelings of connection or attraction without ever ‘crossing any lines.’

Even if a girl has a boyfriend she often won’t have a problem with this, because she will see you as a friend, yet the attraction will still be fully there, it is quite different from a ‘friend zone’ where she thinks you are safe or smart or reliable but feels no attraction. Just learning how to make more rhythmic eye contact and enjoy her company, focus less on your anxiety if you have that, is already a way to get out of this ‘friend zone’. I don’t agree that the friend zone is permanent, I think it can be changed in a single day if you have learned to cultivate chill and good vibes in yourself. They will always respond to the vibes and feel attracted and it isn’t about the words. Always make sure not to over-focus on her, in the moment or thought the day, cultivate good vibes through being around and enjoy the company of groups of different people, look for people you like ‘your peers’ people you think are cool, this will grow the incentive, and remind yourself ‘I deserve to be around people like this’.

Also it is very good to have many friends of the opposite sex, particular those you are attracted to, this will add to a seance of contentment so you don’t over-focus on one girl. See the beauty in many different people. As I like to say “I like all the flavors.” The blonds, red heads brunets, skinny girls, thick girls. They all have different yet special qualities. When I first began feeling attracting I would fixate on one or two girls and ignore 100 others. Now I notice just taking time to look at people more I will start to notice how attractive they are, some girls don’t stand out right away, their qualities are subtle, but when you notice them they can become very profound or even additive.

Once it took me 3 weeks to notice this girl was even attractive, but now I think she is the most cute and adorable girl I know. With some girls it is right away. Sometimes it takes me 5 seconds to notice a girl is really hot. Some qualities can be hidden at first, but when you are looking for them and know they are there you find them faster. Sure it sounds perverted in some aspects, yet by doing this I find myself noticing and feeling attracted to a broad spectrum of girls. I am seeing the unique qualities of a large group of different people. And it makes it way easier not to fixate on a specific girl.

I bumped into this pretty girl one the street who is the front desk secretary at work. I was like “hey!” I try to emote the emotion I feel in a simple way when I say hello. I don’t mean talking ‘louder’, that’s a common confusing that louder is better or more exciting. I just mean that I try to put the genuine emotion i am feeling into my voice and eyes. I notice often they will respond to that. She responded like “hey!” right back. I felt that she was fully responsive just to me showing some enthusiasm, she felt she could show it back. I haven’t had any real conversations with her before, but just giving her a “hey!” with a little energy seemed to create a connection with her the old me would have never known was possible. It was really ’emotion’ more then loudness. Just by choosing to ‘feel’ that emotion to attracted-ness or love for her, to focus on it and stir it back up in that moment as i say “hey” she can actually feel what I am feeling.

This is because emotions are chemicals in the brain and those chemicals will teleport over to her mirror neurons, just kidding, I find our current scientific view to be confining, even primitive. I like to see the emotions as energetic electric (or bioptotonic) waves or pulses generated from the heart. The chemicals and hormones are part of it, but the energetic wave part may be even more important.

Often people just ‘get louder’ to show you they are interested, this really irritates me actually, and it’s funny because when I was trying to get girls i did this all the time. It’s funny when people are like shouting in your face “hello! good morning!” And you are like “hey…” ‘back up a bit’. It’s like they are disappointed you didn’t congratulate them on their great social skills. Often these shouter type people are the ones telling me to work on my social skills. I’m like, ok, whatever you say. Often this being loud and socially forceful is what passes for ‘great social skills’ or a ‘social role-modle’ in our society, it really pisses me off. Then when people get irritated by it that type of person will be like “oh it is because they don’t have social skills. they are just ‘struggling’.”

It’s annoying that being yourself is considered ‘struggling’ to some people. Going at your own pace, taking time to yourself. Not enjoying people who are forceful hyper or condescending. I’ve seen this with lots of people and not just me. If you socialize in a different way that doesn’t mean you need to read 10 self improvement books and go to reigrious yoga classes every day, you don’t need a big depressing intervention and social shaming for your ‘problem’. Maybe the way you socialize is right for you. People will always say heavy/serious and confusing things about how you need to ‘improve’ yourself. It’s a mindfuck and i’ve been so much better off ever since i just stared turning in out. I’m not ‘hiding’ or running from the truth. I just finally after many years realized that all that self improvement stuff wasn’t working for me, a lot of it is bullshit. I was running in circles all my life. Finally i realized that the common wisdom of ‘trying hard and harder’ just didn’t make sense. I socialize in my own different way, and i am way happier then i have ever been, I hang around more but i have my own totally unique methods. I just enjoy myself mostly. I see myself as worthy. Girls dig me now.

It is funny there are a bunch of people who tell me about how I am “struggling.” Because i have my own way of doing this. I’m like “I am actually a lot better then I have ever been.” The old me never got girls. But he was academically and athletically a success. I could get A’s and B’s. I could run 5 or even 10 miles a few times each week. I did martial arts. I meditated a lot. I had discipline. I was a success in many ways, but my heart was overcome by a deep emptiness. Things like love and creativity, the things that really mattered to my heart, they eluded me, i was always ‘blocked’ creatively and socially. I’m so much more satisfied now. Yet people are always looking to improve something, even now.

People are always looking to improve or tell others how to improve, but it actually becomes a deceptive pursuit. I’m like “Actually I am pretty content, I think I turned out really well.” I’ve been through some difficult situations but I have skills to handle it well, I really beat the odds. People with higher authority roles over me tell me I need to learn to love myself, that I’m not motivated, that I expect something for nothing, that I am biased by privilege, that I need to improve my social skills, they say all kinds of funny things when I don’t just ‘do what they say’ it’s a way of controlling you. It’s not real. People live there lives conforming to patterns that don’t really benefit anyone, and it is scary when you question those patterns. Because it means that they really have been hurting themselves and others all this time.

There are actually lots of beautiful girls at my work. Guess I lucked out… though I’m not allowed to have relationships with them, that’s the catch, yet I feel great being around them and I develop friendships with them. The old me would have focused on one of them and been sad that it never amounted to anything more. Now I focus on a who range of people and or girls, but I work on my friend connections with all of them. It’s not really a ‘friend zone’ because I feel chemistry with them, some more then others, it feels like good practice for the real thing. It is good experience and it also makes me seem popular or desirable. Maybe that sounds superficial but it helps when a girl comes along who actually is available. This really amazing hot girl came into my life recently and I will wright about that more in another post.

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Depletion vs Depression vs Stress

Depletion is different from, yet can make our bodies more susceptible to, stress or depression. This was a side note in another article, but then I realized it deserved it’s own article.

I call this low energy state ‘depletion’ or ‘drain’ but it is NOT the same as depression… and not the same as sadness, even though they all can feed into each other. Depletion is an absence of photonic light energy in the body, like physical exhaustion, while sadness is an emotional response to an event or circumstance. This is not a clear distinction at all for many people, but it is very distinct and can be offensive to confuse them. Depletion is also not the same as stress, yet a depleted body is weak and will sucumb of physical strain or stress much more easily, so they are connected in that way. Our society knows a lot about stress, but for me -depletion- (cellular energetic depletion) is an even bigger underlying root problem we know almost nothing about too often. For a while I was even calling depletion depression and then I had this moment where I was like, “wait, these are two importantly different things”, but when people repeat something a lot, it boggles your brain, it influences you. You want to say what is ready to be understood, yet you don’t want to be a sucker and completely give up on the point you were making just because your afraid of push back.

Depletion is about the absence of energies our eyes can’t see (waves of light and sound, and magnetism), though we CAN see the EFFECTS of this energy or the effects of its absence. On the other hand, we often blame stress or anxiety because they seem like more tangible phenomenon, easer to spot and articulate, yet it’s really only half or 45% of the story. In fact if i have a hard day i will tell people i’m stressed because they get that right away, if i tell them i’m depleted they don’t know what i’m talking about, or think that i’m depressed and try to talk it out of me. If you say exhausted that implies you were working out, but you can become very depleted just from standing still too long, being still to long is actually uncomfortable for the body and causes energy to leek out. You can become depleted just form being near stressful, or depleated, people too long, or being stuck in a very blank drab unstimulating room. Or taking refuge from the boredom of school or work in a place that has no people. Board during the day and socially depleated in the evening. Sometimes people can be togeathwe but the community isn’t right, no one is having fun. It takes a larger community to undo depleation sometimes, a couple anxious friendships just aren’t enough to make up for an absence of connection and harmony and fun in the larger community.

Depression is its own signicant and different thing, it may not be a choice, it can be deep built up sadness caused by many absences or negitive events happening over years. I may not be doing depression justice, this article is more about depletion so i’ll stick to what i know, and the definitions have been been blurred, i wonder that a lot of what we call depression stress or anxiety in my mind is really rooted in and caused by depletion. And the words do matter because they can have different implications. The word -depletion- hits home for me that many of these problems are rooted in a physical absence of energy in the cells, not just an emotion or a ‘choice’ that certain people are not making… and not laziness or a lack of will power either.

Now I think there are many cases of depleation that are misdiagnosed as depression. A depleted person is very motivated, and struggling with the physical limitations that their body just can’t do the things they want to or feel connected to people for some reason.  Antidepressants may not do the trick. Many doctors are dying to hand them out and convince you that you have depression or one of their many diagnoses that you may not have at all. Many of these so-called disorders really I find have very little to do with the mind and the brain or permanent brain damage.. that is possible, even then damage may not be in the mind maybe another places of the body. I find a lot of these so-called disorders can be healed through the right kinds of environments through the energy of people practicing being around people every day and learning to enjoy the company of others and not see others as threatening. These  experiences of being blocked or having invisible walls in life can be healed through the power of play, learning and practicing how to play in harmony with others and enjoy yourself with others and practicing experiencing this every day just for a few weeks or months.  Bringing a variety of different types of play into your day and learning to cultivate that enjoyment, that feeling in your heart. and not getting obsessed over one singular activity  over and over for weeks and weeks, but having a variety of different ways of having a fun, yet not straining or forcing your body.  I find playful experiences with others such as going on a trip an adventure with people whom I like, to be extremely healing and transformative of all my physical problems or feelings of being blocked. things like medication have actually left me sedated, increasingly tired,  different pills I’ve tried that were recommended by doctors have left me worse off. I find doctors actually persist to give me them sometimes  I want to make things worse.  it’s almost like they do this out of this intense compulsion or force of habit.  This Fear to question or go against the norm. Despite all the great results I’ve got in from the power of people and play doctors still  whimsically handout meds to, I don’t know, millions of people I’m afraid to imagine the number.  Even things like a lot of the social coaching I’ve got and the mandatory karate lessons left me feeling exhausted and burnt out, feeling like making friends is this agonizing effort but never quite gives back what you want and the people you’re really attracted to always seem unattainable.  School ever did was teach me to place my intellect before my feelings and desires to top me to feel insecure like I had to impress friends by being a really smart genius person I didn’t realize I was doing it but I was always trying to be his cleverness to when our friends but my mind will just go blank from the pressure of not having any creative are good ideas I could never  Santa follow what people are talking about but it was only because I was stressed because I was making things so much more complicated than they ever needed to be her middle school just over complicated everything and took the fun out of life. Now just being around groups of people, sometimes in the festival type atmosphere when possible, I get my daily or weekly dose of human energy I just receive the energy now, go to the places that make me feel good when possible, and I don’t see it as an effort or challenge at all it’s just like eating food. I practice this playful attitude and I just be around people and it’s very effortless and I get way more results than I did with anything else before. sometimes attractive girls walk up to me and after a few days  my top pick girl is spending entire days with me back to back and she’s holding my hand and kissing me 3 times in one day. And it all feels very natural like the way it always supposed to have been. I nearly did anything.  I kept meeting her eyes and then she would say “hey get over here!” and I would just follow her.  That’s the most rewarding feeling when a babe is telling you “get over here”.  Everything society taught me I felt so forced and calculated I could never seem to access this inner energy and power in myself. I really have to cultivate that just through a pure enjoyment an almost indulgent enjoyment of being in the company of people and people I like and places I like when possible.. AND having an attitude of play even in difficult situations. equally making the most of difficult places or circumstances by always finding the fun in my job, in class, even when I have to work a mundane job, enjoying the company of all the people at that job. But still it is really just about enjoyment and not force and pain and agony the way I was raised. (sorry I’m using text to speech now and it has an atrocious errors I’m gonna have to go back and fix them)  entire life seems like a joke holding this girls hand and it happened so effortlessly it’s almost like she’s coming onto me I didn’t even do anything she was rubbing her ass on my crotch and grabbing my hand and dragging me down the halls it’s exhilarating and unreal like I don’t even know it’s happening anymore. I used  to put so much thought into getting the right timing and I’ll grab a girls hand just to have her let go or pull away.  It’s sort of like that scene in the movie office space I’m just having a party all the time now everything I was doing before it’s just a joke, endlessly tinkering away for years at tedious art projects hoping that one day I would be famous and have a girlfriend.  Or becoming the fastest runner on my team and running these 8 mile runs and still feel like a loser who has no friends for some reason.  All this effort was absolutely for no reason. now all I do is imagine that I’m always having a party, it’s just this ‘party attitude’ and good things just keep building up.  I treat others with compassion for the suffering and challenges they go through that often get overlooked yet I’m always having fun even the compassion is part of the fun because it opens the way at all that connected energy human, to the adventure of leaning about people. Even talking about my problems can be fun because it helps me relate to people and them relate to me.

Depletion is a significant absence of energy that effects the material body, it can be caused by many things, and often is caused by many things at once, not just one, or rather the absence of many things or factors that should be there. It’s illusive because the body can repell or bounce back from one negative element, so we can never find that ‘one cause’ depletion usually happens when there are so many negative elements in ones life, that it causes their energetic body to collapse in on itself. It requires many cures, or positive influences. That’s why one ‘cure’ may not be enough. The body is strong and often it takes more then one thing to bring it down, in many cases. So lets explore all those factors!

Environment matters a lot. I often see coaches working with depleated people and trying to ‘motivate’ them out of it. And this is what leads to the viscous cycle of stress, we think we are not good enough, never trying hard enough, if i just try ‘harder’ it will work.. it never does. The truth is being depleated is actually very hard already, and the solution is to soak up some good energy. To find the right enviomrents, the right self-talk, learning to treat yourself with kindness, learning you deserve to put yourself in places that make you feel good, hang around people that make you feel good. rearranging your furniture, bringing more color and light into your house, putting up pictures that make you feel good, putting your wellbeing first. being around others, yet not chasing and sacrificing yourself for them. you can’t ‘motivate’ the photons back into your bodies cells. it’s actually a very enjoyable process, it’s about finding the rhythm and preactii reining these energeties. I spent a long time battling and stressing and moting myself to succeed, but i found it very furitless, stress that creates more stress, it eventually leads to a kind of insanity, and your willing to do anything and believe anything (i see this all the time), and that only gives feul to the idea that ‘trying harder’ in this self forceful way will lead to results. At the end of the day i’m not offering immortality, it’s just a series of subtle yet significant shifts…. It can be easy to say ‘open more windows?’ that’s not that important’, or ‘decorate my house with colorful inspiring posters?’ i’ll get to that another time, or ‘variety sounds good but i like this activity more, so i will do this one acitivy all day’, yet when you combine all these energetic benefits, your standard of wellness can increase a lot, it magnetically shifts the body/heart, to create an upwards pull, your own gravitational center if you will, you cutlavte enough personal satisfaction or deep vital energy, that you over come the exhaustive pull over gravity (not enough to fly) but you body will feel a lot lighter and more agile.

It’s a critical mass, where the positive forces in your life overcome the negative forces, it involves everyone and everything, but you don’t have to think about it all or make it complicated, it’s a lot of suble benefits, but it adds up to create a dramatic shift, where now effereltiess momentum, photoic and magnetic energy, is working in your personal favor. before it was bleeding out into the ground. but now reaching a certain mass of energy, it becomes perpetual motion, ‘flow’ as many call it (without always explaining all the forces involved) and this body energy can make so many parts of life a lot easier and more beneficial to people around you. a depldated body suffers AND pulls people around them down too, like a black hole, it sucks in so many ways and is the hardest thing ever. Cultivate a critical mass of energy, and you benefit and others benefit. Depilated people are not bad or lazy. There are so many stigmas about this it is crazy. When we realize that people who fall into the pull of gravity, these downward energies, and arcually just waiting for their potential energy to be unblocked, we begin to see many more people as comrades, and support and love them rather then critize them because we think they are ‘not trying’, which can’t be farther from the truth.

Too often Pain & Sadness is mistaken for Anger & Disapproval

Sometimes we grow up feeling like we aren’t good enough. By default we expect to have to ‘earn’ others approval. That if we don’t ‘try’ or do anything impressive, our natural normal relaxed self will be disliked.

Another could be tired, exhausted, lonely, depressed, sad, about something that has nothing to do with us, yet in this ‘I’m not good enough state’, it becomes about us, we read our fears into their tiredness, we think they are tired with us, they are disapproving of us. However so often people are really just exhausted with things that have nothing to do with us, this person they just met, or a near aquenace, they aren’t really judging you very much at all, so when getting to know people, it’s really essential to see that their pain has nothing to do with us, it is not caused by something ‘we did’ just now, it has a deep history that has nothing to do with us. Then we can separate their pain from us. And people and strangers become much more approachable. When I come from a place of trust and self trust, instead of self doubt, then it becomes easier to see that this person is frequently not mad with me, that they are in fact actually sad or in pain about what can be a great many things starting before you arrived or years ago, you might just call it the inherent pain of life.

Not taking their pain personally, and not expecting them to be happy, seeing that it is ok to be drained or dogruntled actually allows the other person to feel safe, they can let down their guard, and don’t have to always ‘act happy’ they don’t have to worry about the stress of doing that. They don’t have to act happy purely to protect us from taking sadness or lameness personal, because they can see that we are accepting of all the moods. This humanness is actually a place for deeer connection than the forced happy. They see we had a hard day to and they feel our humanity. They feel closer to us, and may tell us something deep about their day they would not have said if they felt pressure to be upbeat or nice. Sometimes all the niceness becomes like a cover to protect from the fear of the silence between people, it creates pressure for everyone to act nice and upbeat yet then the sad emotions and personal human struggles never come out so we feel strangely distanced. The ‘nice guys finish last’ thing. The sadness or pain becomes a good thing, because we have accept it is there, is not about us, and it becomes something we can have compassion for, an opening to connect, a reason to just be together and listen, or lower standards and expectations. it takes off the stress of having to pretend everything is “great” all the time. We can worry less about offending each other and take more time just enjoying ourselves in each others company.

Awakening the Innate Intelligence

Play is flowing with each enjoyment of life, then letting go of each joy and worry, to move on to the next positive playful focus. Finding that letting go into the flow of each cosmic event, actually strengthens our memory, our ability to recall that facts we need exactly when we need them with mere detail, more creative spin and new synaptic connections. Allowing some details to go forgotten, trusting our body is already doing all it needs to do to be all we need to be, this act of forgetting, letting go, actually strengths our ability to instantly & clearly recall the things that matter. By focusing on the fun more of the time, the ‘innate intelligence’ emerges on its own, it will be there, on it’s own. Because too often our society does not allow this ‘already present’ intelligence the time it needs to emerge and blossom on its own. Play is the fuel for the mind. Positive relaxing stimulating environment supports neuron generation. Play and relax at your own pace around others. Play and relaxing are both seen as legure activites, as unproductive in our society, this is why we alloys feel so stiff and dry and lonely. Doing something simple like playing and relaxing around others actually takes a kind of activism, to stand up to the rules that don’t make sense, or at lest meet the needs of your heart, do what you want and need, what makes you feel right, even when others seem to constantly tell you not to.

Getting high on what the group thinks

Trading in Better Judgment to get High on Group Opinions; the riptide of an unrealized/unfun and overly disciplined community

When groups gather and unite in their beliefs it creates a high feeling in every person. This can be amazing. Yet this also has a history of backfiring, in cases of Natzis or people ‘drinking the kool-aid’, people disregard science, their own intuition or health, or the heath of outsiders for the sake of uniting in their group, the high feeling this brings. The group mind-frame or shared opinion itself becomes magnetic powerful even addictive, because thinking of it links us back to all those memories and feelings of the energy that came from people, we associate the idea, the pill, the chore or the activity with the energy high.. instead of associating that good feeling with people themselves; we become intoxicated on whatever the group thinks, even when it is detrimental the the planet. Some of these group mentalities are obvious, like when people used to believe the earth was flat or the earth was the center of the universe and reject other ideas or people that still don’t believe in evolution… yet many of these ‘group mentalities’ that are just as absurd remain hidden, they have a way of blending in and seeming passible if you are not the victim of them, we don’t notice the suffering this copycat behavior causes. They get taken for fact. We distrust our long term friends in favor of mass public opinion, the things our fathers were told by their fathers who were told by there fathers. “This idea has been around, it has ‘worked’ for so many hundreds or thousands of years, so that must be proof of it’s effectiveness” we naturally think, yet an underlying element is being masked, the contagiousness of mass human thinking, and the tendency to cling to the familiar in favor of the unknown. We hold onto the familiar even to our detriment. The heart thrives on movement, change and play, free form creative silly human interaction without judgment without control… yet the fear of uncertainty exists on mass scale, it holds us back from our potential. It creates these large channels of control behavior throughout society. This needs a good term like ‘herd mentally’ or ‘mimesis’ or lemming behavior.. Perhaps ‘social riptide’. It’s like the undercurrent of something that is mostly good. I’ve also called it a false reward system, we keep coming back for a reward that seems close but is really impossibly far away, a horse that is chasing a carrot on a string. Countless people are pulled into these ruts of absurd routines that we all know don’t really make sense, yet it is just so hard to shift them, it’s easier to comply and accept our pay at the end of the day. We trade in fact or our better judgment, the whisper our heart is telling us.. for an pseudo feeling of connectedness created through preforming tasks that masses of others also take part in, it creates this sense of unity and power that is real, it adds up to being ‘good enough’ yet it prevents us from really questioning some of these menial tasks and beliefs, we give up on there being something better. The world is full of many depleted or even injured people that are being treated like they have some kind of mental problem. Some peoples lives are so devoid of fun and friendship that it becomes physically damaging over the years, then they are given some random label out of a hat like “autistic, add, bi-poloar, adhd, schizophrenic, psychotic, borderline personality” it gets repeated and repeated. We are taught simplistic and pointless skills we already know. When I see a seriously injured or starving person I sometimes make the joke to myself “he must be autistic” because this is basically the way doctors think. It’s a cruel joke so I don’t say it, yet people are starving without relationship or meaning in their lives, living in constant low energy and stress.. and doctors call them “autistic”, they might as well be starving or victims of war and disease. This thinking keeps us focused on our own problems, it keeps us ‘self-improving’ instead of focusing on positive self image, having an I’m ‘already awesome’ mentality that is needed for healing, it keeps us insecure, it might all be ok if there was more value in creating fun safe healthy relationships in society. We learn to ‘prove’ our worth to other people, instead of how to enjoy being around people, we feel we are not ‘exciting’ or important enough already, we get caught in a stress loop of always improving, it’s never enough, it prevents us from taking time to really enjoy the feeling of having fun with others day after day, from that fun really charisma can blossom. Yesterday someone my mom hired was teaching me how to “ask for things” so much of my life has been spent learning things i already know. At one point in high school someone came to my house to teach me how to sound out consonants and vowels, as though school wasn’t already an endless overflow of dry lifeless data. It feels like there just aren’t enough places where people gather just to have fun, there is always some demeaning label attached like “we are here to fix your learning disability or social disability” or something. These terms teach people they aren’t equal, they don’t have worth, they have to spend life “overcoming” themselves, overcoming something basic in their bodies, that we should dislike our selves or our own minds, this is a stressful way to live. You need to really love your body and mind, to see yourself as brilliant, (even if you have some sever brain damage) we really need this type of self loving view to heal. The ‘self-imporivng’ view sounds great, yet it is a stressful way to live. I was just watching an interview and I read in the comments that the actor was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Great yet another person diagnosed with some rediclious disorder. As though he has ‘two personalities’. He probbably just got tired over years of being teased for his unpopular roal, maybe years of being lonely, not finding meaning in our twisted society. You could call it ‘two personalities’ or you could just call it being angry. More like being really really angry and defeated in life.

The group seems too contrived, yet it can be ‘good enough’.. Being alone feels liberating at first (like when Elsa ‘lets it go!’), we can finally do whatever free creative thing we want, yet soon this too doesn’t feel right, we become lonely, worse, we become empty. Either way we can’t win. Eventually we crawl back to society.  There is a third option, to change society, but it doesn’t have to be all that overwhelming. It can start simply by changing the way we are around people. The ripple effect of an attitude, a way of being, and small daily actions.

We get a high from connecting to ‘society’ simply because it involves many people, yet that society is full of habit, drone behavior that is no where never its full creative potential. We trust the ‘word,’ the rules of society, when it is really the people in that society that are giving us the good feeling. That feeling is just the tip of what it could be, if each person followed their creative impulse together in the group. Having fun on the large adult scale is considered so unconventional in our current world. We can shift society. The sleeping impulse for fun is in everyone. Our creative and compassionate potential is untapped in part because of the weight of the ancient patterns of many minds. And also because it is part of our learning. Having fun on the group scale is a technology in a way. A method of harnessing human energy. I call it the ‘light-play intelligence’. It is an intelligence of the heart. The heart is like an engine that runs on the ‘dual fuel’ of human energy and having fun. Having fun means having fun, yet also finding the fun in the practical tasks of life. It is natural, yet it can be learned. Learning why fun matters makes us more resilient to the habitual patterns that try to dry up our good time. Shifting just 10% of society is a movement for example, it is enough to make the spread become increasingly contagious. Putting values like self love self kindness, community creativity and equality first. So many people think they need to be better stronger faster smatter, the stressful rat race to nowhere. We can reprogram the world, we start by simply believing it is possible each day. Giving it time even when the effects seem small. The ripple effect is small at first yet it becomes increasingly powerful.

Harnessing Sexual Energy

Sexual Energy Cultivation

This section is only true for the male body but as women it could help to understand too.

I struggled allot feeling depleted even as a young teen. I remember a time when life just seemed to become more depressing and I didn’t know why. At the point in my life when I was being spiritual and motivated to the highest degree, I once went an entire year where I only masturbated 4 times. During this year my energy was much higher then ever before, and my social charisma, I also spend time working an internship at a spiritual retreat I enjoyed, and meeting women with my dating coach. Yet I felt a clear connection between not masturbating and energy increase. I had heard some yogis speak of this and I thought it was worth seeing how far I could draw it out, just how much energy could I get from this. the thing was I really didn’t understand why it worked, and that made me both more likely to give in later on, and more likely to be too hard on myself. I became about denying myself all desire, I thought this brought me life energy, but I was wrong.. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

my journey finding a formula

I was years later that I put it together, I found a formula. After years of denying myself all types of desires like the buddha I became very week and decrepit. I experimented a lot and eventually figured out masturbation was totally heathy in a way i now feel definitive about and actually produced a degree of energy through positive emotional and pleasure stimulation. The energetic losses and gains had to do with ejaculation and sperm. I found that by not ejaculation for days and weeks I would already see significant increase in my energy. I believe this is true for all mean. it has to do with the energy seamen contain, it is the energy of stem cells, incredible energy to produce newborn life in just one cell in millions we have and expend when we cum.

Now I enjoy the masturbation but tend not to cum very often, I just get board, the first part is enjoyable and enhanced by my increased energy, the end part is short and sweet, yet not worth feeling down for days afterwards. I tend to save it up. Yogis and buddhism can become too much about denying pleasure and I no longer promote this at all. There are two ways to get the energy increase, maybe three ways. One you just don’t masturbate that often, two you masturbate but don’t ejaculate, I prefer this or a mixture, but it takes a degree of self control or skill, but this control is easier when you express the energy increase, and cuming is totally healthy and important now and then, I still like it now and then just for the sake of it, but it can be like eating a giant cake, I don’t go there all the time.

balancing energies

Important to note, this withdrawal from ejaculation has to be done in combination with playful social activity, or manful creative activity, and time spent around people, sunlight, groups of people, in relaxed playful connections, you have to get the other healthy experience and energies of life and spend time in places and environments that make you feel good, having a playful attitude that helps you feel good. If you just are alone in a room for a year and don’t masturbate at all, it won’t increase your energy, your sperm will increase, but the lack of fun and sunlight will greatly outweigh that increase, this took a very long time for me to understand even after closely paying attention to subtle details for many years making it my life mission to understand my body and how to tap it’s energy.

The Benefits

Just going 3 days with out ejaculating, your energy will increase, your social charisma, attractiveness to the opposite sex, physical health, deep inner energy and power, strength, the increase in sperm cells will increase the energy of your entire body. This is my special hack, you can masturbate, just don’t ejaculate if you desire to experience this increase. I find this had been an important source of energy in my life, and has turned EVERYTHING around, it has got me success with women, women sitting in my lap, literally; things that would never have happened to the old me who masturbated and ejaculated EVERY DAY that was where all my energy was going as a teen, ever since I started ejaculating, my body was dumping a big portion of it’s energy into the waist bin. All that life force in the trash. It’s hard not to get that sweet final orgasm at first, but it gets a lot easier, the increase for me is so drastic that I don’t even think about it.

masturbating vs ejaculating

As a semi side note, masturbating less tends to make the masturbating more exciting. Many of us get addicted to it like a drug, I don’t recommend masturbating twice or more a day for anyone, I tend to do it once every two days on average, sometimes it’s juts once a week, I really don’t think about it. I could call this article the benefits or reduced ejaculation, but I wanted to ease you into it and say how and why first.

the limits / no limits

If you go longer and longer without ejaculating your body keeps saving the sperm and now there is more life energy flowing through your blood, your sack can reach full capacity after just 3 or 4 days of not masturbating, yet once the ‘glass is full’ so to speak, the ‘tank is full,’ now you are just beginning to reap that energy benefit. You can go on expressing energy increases for weeks and weeks if you can hold off that long. It’s great because you can do this however you choose, you can hold off a little on the ejaculation every week and experience benefits, you could stop totally for multiple weeks if you really feel compelled by this and just want to see how far your energy can increase. Some have gone years without doing it, but that is not required, I experience significant benefits and my social and emotional health, my social charisma and creative all increase after just days of not ejaculating, after weeks there is even more benefit, and I can masturbate as much as I want if I don’t cum, that takes skill and if you go at it too often eventually you get tired and come.

Even if I was significantly injured, I think this would still be a non-decision, I ejaculate rarely, because the increase of energy I get is so drastic it is always with it. It is even fun to see how long I can go without giving in. You can be easy on yourself and get plenty of benefits still. Start with ejaculating less, like once every three or four days, then try to go a week without. If you don’t experience benefits then you can stop, or start rather. But just this should be enough. Look for increased magnetism with the opposite sex. Increased emotions in your chest, particularly when you make eye contact with people. Good luck!

Fun Loving Community, & the ancient rut of anti-playfulness

We all need a fun loving community. It takes activism to make it happen, we have to actively fight for a shift in a world that is clinging to patterns and distant abstract rewards that don’t really ever give back. Societies structure has its slow personal rewards, yet just going along with it contributes to a greater loss of life, to illness and injustice unchecked by the unplayful stiff serious completive hierarchical system in place. I collect my pay at the end of the day, I put in effort and suffering and collect my small cookie, my small reward, yet these industries we work for happy ignore the suffering of the many for short term personal gain. It’s not even greed or evil, it’s just habit. Lazy unawareness. Fun sounds simple, yet their is so much counter-fun in our society, it helps no one, the habit is so think and ancient that it goes unquestioned; yet at the same time it wants to change, the heart naturally desires love & playfulness & the power of human equality, we all desire that community that puts love and fun first, it juts needs a little fun push from every person! A playful calm attitude around others. Making little playful changes at home. Requesting little playful changes at work. Talking leadership of events and outings. Every small step matters. Just brining a little more play into each day. Hanging around a little long at times when people have gathered, when people are ‘hanging out’.

So much of society is structured, yet we need that unstructured fun to take our well being to the next level. We always feel like we are longing for something more, yet the values our world promotes, keep us down, focused on our faults, endlessly self improving, it takes a total flip in our thinking to break free of it. To feel how much power we already have if we just enjoy ourselves a little more, inject a little play into each day. Free our creative impulse. Set up playful spaces and hold playful gatherings. To follow the fun wherever it wants to go. At first we are fighting against all kinds of restrictions. Play is unimportant, play is unproductive. Just relaxing and playing is not accomplishing anything. This relaxed cultivation of playful energy with others is hugely revitalizing yet it becomes all to rare in our lives. Yet the more we challenge these boundaries and say “hey we all enjoyed that outing, that event” more people find the time to make it happen. A single playful event gives us so much energy that 10 hours of work turns into 2 hours of work, and we find ourselves with more free time, we find we can make the time to have more events like these, that playful gatherings are worth setting aside time for. To get out of the mental strain of papers and desk jobs and endless grunt work, and into the physical revitalizing world and power of our bodies, the power of people at play!