Rise of Skywalker

My thoughts on the new star wars.

Sometimes I feel frustrated with the fan base of how much they hate anything. I feel happy to see star wars finally back after it’s fifteen year absence. There’s a lot I enjoy about the new movies, and many of the problems they do have are classic Hollywood storytelling limitations, like focusing on action instead of plot. Or using suspense to hide a lack of plot.

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(You can really feel jar jar’s power in this shot. Props to JJ Abrams. Jar Jar is a real role model to adults and teens everywhere, Binks is a guy who can keep things lighthearted, but also channel immense dark side rage. Jar Jar is an Icon for edgy teens carrying the heavy responsibilities of millennial ambitions like getting better at mine craft and fortnight. Lonely fans identify with the way Jar Jar is hated on the internet, and being outcast by his own kind. And when Jar Jar reveals his true Sith self in Star Wars Episode 11, it inspires other outcast star wars fans to channel their own inner rage for political gain.)

The force awakens was like a copy cat movie, stalling to buy time. it didn’t do that many interesting things, maybe at the very beginning, like when kylo stopped that laser. Kylos force anger is comically exaggerated and actually makes him look childish and non threatening. The most terrifying thing about Kylo Ren is his absence of back story. The total absence of any reason to relate to him or justify his motivates, and it’s scary potential to derail the entire excitement of the story. Kylo Ren turns bad because “Snoke”? Do they realize how
I liked the last Jedi, but it felt like a filler episode at times, it was drawn out, the character development details were not there, even though I liked to plot. (they go on this whole crazy journey just to learn about ‘failure’ and it turns out the stubborn annoying general (Holdo) with her plan, was actually right) I liked that Luke has a struggle of faith, even though it was exaggerated over the top. They did not explain it well enough to justify. A kid goes bad, bam, Luke the great Jedi has a forever melt down, but it was an interesting concept. One of the best parts of the movie was when Luke talks about Palpatine, because it’s nice that they -finally- did something to show that these movies are connected and that Luke has had time to learn more about the past actually. But that only goes to show how much better and more detailed the old movies were, just being reminded of them was like the best part.

 

Rise of Skywalker

(spoilers, don’t read until you watch)

I loved it
when we see Kylo talk to Rey, and fight Rey, he redeems his character, he seems threatening.
i loved the return of Palpatine, even though it is missing all explanation, and was too obvious, too easy a choice, it fits thematically with the story of star wars, which is so important because Star Wars was at risk of loosing it’s theme, it’s purpose.

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I loved JJ’s lost. and loved his ideas, but people have since pointed out that he is good at ‘creating suspense’ without unveiling much of anything. and you can see that with the sequel trilogy. however i just loved the new one. The first two movies are like filler episodes, you could condense them into 30 minutes and put this movie on top of it, and then call it something cooler like “Rise of Palpatine” because that sounds more creative and has a double meaning. Titles like “Last Jedi” “Skywalker” “Force Awakens” Those are all attempts to borrow on the previous greatness of star wars. they are ‘safe’ titles, as they are also ‘safe’ movies. Not so creative as “Attack of the Clones” “Revenge of the Sith”. You can tell just from the title that these movies are different then the previous ones. Even to someone who isn’t fully paying attention you look at the title and feel a bit discouraged because you know there won’t be anything truly new. (I think the words Sith and Clones were mentioned in the OT, but they were certainly not the focus, it was brave,or just natural, of Lucas to bring the creativity to explore those ‘history’ elements of the story)

there were many things in Rise of Skywalker that fit with the essence of star wars even though they lacked explanation that could have made it much more interesting. it leaves it open to imagination, but it would have been better with explanation. like when Palpatine says “I am all the Sith” that is really interesting, but they have never introduced this concept, and at no point is there further explanation of it. it has cool implications. It’s the same thing with Palp’s resurrection. We don’t see it on screen. that is just bad. his return is the most shocking part and we don’t even see they was people react to it. That aside, From the very beginning, and if you read the (Darth Plaguius book) they have suggested that Palpatine and his master were learning how to use the force to create life and defy death. but it would have been better if they had a flashback of Palatine falling down the shaft after Vader throws him. then somewhere else much latter, maybe on the sunken death star, or in his dark sith building on Exogol, he just ‘wakes up’ in this clone body that he had prepared ahead of time.IMG-3941 that would make sense. another less practical method, is that someone uses both technology and a sith ritual to conjure his spirit back into a new body, a new cloned vessel for him, sometime later, but I like to keep it on the technological side. there is opportunity for so much interesting technology, story, and philosophical dialogue, but they just don’t go there.

i like that idea that ‘intention’ can lead you to the light side or the dark side, even more so then action. if Rey kills Palatine out of desire for Revenge she could be possessed by the will of the Sith and the dark side, if she kills him out of necessity, to protect the people and the fleet, she is still true to the light side, her mortals. but they give this no explanation, and there is so much room for interesting dialogue around this. all that is to be expected with American action movies where they expect. It was just so much better then it could have been. And i was concerned more then once, like concerned Palpatine would die too easy, which did happen in one of JJ’s “Six endings” that they filmed. Episodes seven and eight were like two time watch movies. Meaning i watch them twice. where all the other star wars movies i could watch them once a year, so that’s like 20 watches. George created those movies. These movies have more classic Hollywood stile of action and less complex dialogue and world building detail. Hollywood thinks people don’t like that. It’s too much of a risk, a break from the formula, the formula of big exploding robots. So i feel we should encourage movies like this for going in the right direction. I never expected them in a million years to go with the “Rey is a Palpatine” twist, and that was exactly what myself and many other fans wanted. And i think Ryan Jonson’s idea was of having her be “Nobody” sends a really inspiring message that you can succeed without being from an important bloodline. But the Rey Palatine thing ties into the essence of star wars, that you are not your parents, you are not your past, you can change things. but it is scary because it means recognizing the temptation for the dark-side in you. There were many cool concepts they could have elaborated on but didn’t. But I’m still glad they put it out there.

IMG-3877It would have been cool is Palpatine after he drains Rey and Kylo, they are too week to do anything, so Palpatine boards a ship, and flys away somewhere, maybe there is some place he can go to increase his powers, or find a new apprentice, he becomes the “Emperor” again, or the “Supreme Leader”. That would be a cool moment, to have the old Palpatine return, now that he is juiced up on life juice. That way the movie has more plot, where before many of the different planets Rey goes to are just to draw out the suspense and don’t add anything to the story or characters. Cut that out. Palpatines return to being the Emperor could be like a stage three of the movie. Rey and Kylo experience failure. but now they are on the right course. they are united together. and the true evil is revealed. Palpatine gets a chance to demonstrate his political cunning, his ‘two faced’ nature, which is the reason he is interesting. and not just be this ‘classic evil monster guy’ that he is in the movie. In the prequels he was one of the most motivated and sophisticated two faced villains of all time. Here he is just ‘evil guy’.

Kylo’s death at the end of the movie is ok. but it’s just for drama. it’s like some ‘hack’ to make your movie seem like shakespeer. But they had an opportunity to further the ‘message and purpose’ of star wars. by having kylo has to live on with his sin and redeem himself. that would be interesting, like Boyaga stops being a storm trooper. Kylo now has to redeem himself, though there is way more to redeem for him. It would be cool, knowing people like Fin and Poe will hate his guts for a long time. But Rey will love him. I liked that they kiss, even though it doesn’t make sense because they have like very little dialogue after he turns good. People think dialogue is ‘mundane’ to ‘basic’ to be important. I like the kiss though because you can feel attraction without talking. and he sacrificed his life to bring her back.

But it would be more interesting to see them both living on together, redeeming the force together light side and former dark side working together. they learn to deepen their understanding of the force and accept things they couldn’t accept before. like some kind of link between the light and dark side, where before they were separate and divide. no one wants to forgive Kylo, but they need his help to stop Palpatine, and when people like Fin start to see the good in Kylo that helps strengthen them with the force. Getting past the anger and revenge stuff.

Now that Palpatine is seen to be a serious real danger, that the battle can potentially go either way, it’s more exciting to see this next fight because Palpatine has beaten them before and we don’t even know if he has played all his cards yet. He is going somewhere to become even more powerful. Maybe he is contacting some other sith. Or maybe like some kind of fallen Jedi, that would mirror Kylo as the former ‘sith’ kind of. Rey vs Palatine, Kylo vs fallen Jedi person. There seems to be this idea that the story has to revolve around Rey Kylo and some other big villain guy and you can’t introduce new ‘key’ characters, additional characters have to be majorly less significant then the main two or three. that limits the story. it is fear to show creativity. the Star-wars Prequels introduced new formidable opponents all the time. It felt like each movie had two major villains, it was dynamic, where the new star wars, there are only two or three villains, Palpatine, Snoke, Kylo, who are a true threat, and even then kylo is defeated in the first movie, and is unstable like a child.

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In conclusion, what is the meaning of Jar Jar? George Lucas said, in the outrageously out of context statement “Jar Jar is the key to all this”. what did he really mean by that?

Over the decades Jar jar has played an integral role in star wars. His central position in starwars is only highlighted all the more so by his total absence from Epsidoes 7 to 9. While Jar Jar has disapred from the big screen, seemly taken a humble bow, his infamy on the internet is stronger then ever in recent years. “Good Gooo00oood” To quote the Dark Lord of the Sith, all hail my master Supreme Chancellor Palps. Binks has been at the heart of many memes and hilarious youtube videos.

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Maybe Lucas meant that in their hated of Jar Jar, the fans themselves abandoned our Gungan friend. Jar Jar had little guidance, and screen time, and in his isolation he fell pray to the dark sides manipulations and granted emergency powers to Supreme Chancellor Palatine.

Which allowed the secret Sith lord to turn the Republic into the Empire, aka Disney. We abandoned jar Jar Projected our sadness over lost Original Trilogy nostalgia in the Prequels onto the goofy funny innocent Gungan. when the fans delved too far into their hatred, they awakened the Belrog of Kylo Ren. the  sad edgy over hyped Vader Copycat (Who is redeemed only by the great acting of Adam Driver).

The fans blinded by nostalgia for the Original Trilogy, projected their hatred onto Jar Jar, witch lead to haters on the internet, witch lead to Lucas handing Star Wars to Disney, witch lead to Disney rejecting Lucas’s Sequel Trilogy Treatments, because of fear that the fans hated Lucas’s newer ideas, and they coped the Original Trilogy in the new films to please the fans as they themselves say. They made safe movies.

As the philosopher Nitchie said “when tho doth hate Star Wars Prequels, be careful tho doth not becomith onto the dark side.”

Argo, we the fans, in our hatred of Jar Jar, we became Darth Jar Jar. We turned ourselves and star wars to the dark side, into the dark side Empire of Disney capitalism. Lucas foresaw all of this when he channeled the force through his high medichlorian count, thus the true meaning of his statement “Jar Jar is the Key to all this” finally unveiled decades later in a random blog post.

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The truth is…

 

I am a fan of the prequels.

 

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Star wars was already good. But the OT fans hated the Prequels so relentlessly for not being exactly like the originals, for being a wildly new and different kind of star wars story, that Lucas became discouraged and gave star wars to Disney. And Disney also felt uneasy to included any of Lucas’s ideas for this very reason. Ironically the fans who thought they hated Lucas’s ideas, hated the Disney films that were designed specifically to give them what they thought they wanted.

Ironically

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And finally Disney not knowing what to do for their third final film, finally went back to Lucas for help, and that was when they created a movie everyone could enjoy that actually went back to the heart of star wars. they didn’t even have to think that much. the material is already there, they just had to evoke it. All they had to do was bring back the “Sith”, just putting that word in the film was a risk they had not been willing to take before, because “Sith” is a prequel word. Yet it evokes so much lore, so much depth and history and demotion to star wars, what hte new movies were lacking.

 

Fans of the OT, raved on the Prequals for their ‘bad dialogue’, but the thing is that is so irrelevant, or at least secondary to what star wars is about. those movies sold so many copies, and inspired hundreds of EU novels. The OT fans came out about their hatred of the Prequels, and my generation, the ‘younglings’ of star wars, followed suit to our elder star wars fans. But those of us like me who grew up with the prequels, we loved them, and i even think Jar Jar is hilarious, Jar Jar is 1000 times more hilarious specifically because so many people hate him to this ridiculousness degree. but yeah, I’m glad that episodes II and III became more adult. Kid Anikin was not important to the story. It was like a marketing thing to make the movie appeal to children, even though Star Wars obviously has themes that are serious to the fullest degree.

Addressing the ‘bad dialogue’ of the prequels. that is something that can be learned from. not a sign that Lucas was some kind of unhinged creative gone off the deep end. as a visionary it’s not his job to get the specifics of dialogue, and he could have hired someone else to review his dialogue and improve it. it is something to learn from. not a sign of the end of star wars lol. but it became the end when fans attacked Lucas as a person. that was scary. to me he is still an idol.

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You also hear about the overuse of ‘CGI’ witch is infuriating, because Lucas basically invented CGI. i saw a documentary about it. it is amazing. i had no idea. I thought he was just the idea man, but the company he started revolutionized the modern movie making industry into what it is today. and those movies use CGI in ways that are more fascinating then even most movies today use it. People should have been in awe of the CGI and instead it was criticized for going to far. But that is normal considering it was just invented for them to be excited about it.

When you look at the plot lines of the Prequels they are all so dynamic and exciting compared to the new trilogy. And there is all kinds of deeper meaning that isn’t even mentioned in the dialogue. Such as how on the surface Anakin is a spoiled brat, but in reality it is the Jedi who push him over the edge by being to strict. Anakin is a guy who is motivated by love, he loves his mother and wife, and the Jedi reinforce that he keep these feelings a secret rather then open up about them. It kind of reminds me of when people are really optimistic relentlessly all the time but hide their problems and can’t stand to hear others mention a problem in the world. The Jedi are ‘selfless’, yet they don’t have the whole picture. and when i wanted the movies as a kid i always figured Anakin was the bad one, and the Jedi were good, but over time watching this movie over the years there is so much more to glean from it. Palpatine pushes Anakin to the dark side by planting a vision of his wife dying into his head, and we never even get this ‘on screen’. but you can infer that it happened. as you can infer, that Palpatine only had so much influence over Anakin because his support system in Obi Wan and the Jedi Council was not actually that strong or emotionally deep. It was just like this absolute buddhim kind of “let go over everything” attitude, that sounds noble, but isn’t even human really. the Jedi were selfless, they saw themselves as beyond human.

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The Sith are selfish. they channel the shadow self, and even though they are truly evil, they actually have a hidden message to teach the Jedi about something they do not understand or accept about themselves. the Jedi have abstracted themselves out of reality. and it is there if you look for it. when anakin says “I”M sorry Obi Wan, I’ve just been so frustrated with the council lately.” you see it, that he is missing a support system, and it is not because he doesn’t want one, it is the opposite, he wants the wisdom and guidance of the jedi, but he feels, he just knows something is missing. because being with Padame feels right, even though it is forbidden. he is driven by these big love emotions that make him powerful with the force, more so then other Jedi. because he doesn’t understand these emotions, he is turned to the dark side.

As a kid I always saw Obi Wan as the good guy, and he is a real role model and cool character, but in a strange way I always felt like Qui Gon gin was even cooler. and someone pointed out that Qui Gon understood the contradictions of the Jedi council, he was not a ‘grey Jedi’ but in fact the opposite, he was a true Jedi, he saw Anakins potential, but after he died, Obi Wan didn’t know what to do other then whatever the Council told him to do. Qui Gon was a Jedi who trusted his own intuition even over the collective advice of the council. we know little about him. but i like to think that he was more liberated, in a good way, liberated from the ‘hive mind’ kind of thinking.

The movies -never- take credit for how brilliant they are. there is no character in the movie who points it out (as you see in many anime), or puts into words what is really going on, their are so many gray areas, and it is up to the audience to see the deeper meanings.

 

As an aside, why is it that bilbo Baggins reminds me of my mothers mother (a round happy surviver of depression). and Palpatine reminds me of my fathers mother (paranoid, cunning, wise).

Palpatine “I have waited a loooong time for this… to welcome my grandson.”

“You will take a seat”

“You will eat a prune”

“We will chat while I play jeprody reruns all day in the background.”

We Conquered Love, it’s almost epic

I met this amazing girl recently. I remember thinking that she was the hottest girl in my town/community, and thinking there was no way she would be interested in me. My plan was to talk to her if she wanted it, but not to ‘over focus’ on her, not to make her my main focus or romantic priority. She was inviting right away and invited me to sit next to her at this meetup event. However stuff like this happens to me now and then and i tell myself not to get ‘too attached’ just because I ‘got lucky’ and a pretty girl asked me to sit next to her. I had little connects with her for the following months. But then recently she needed a place to stay and moved in with me in my house where we live with six other friends. From that point on i told myself still not to get ‘too excited’ but after just a few days, something changed, i became much closer to her. Turns out she has a boyfriend and the cynic in me says ‘of course all hot girls are already taken’. i’m kind of selfish at this point in my life, being 29 and single, and am still wanting to pursue her. But it’s only because i also sense she has interest in me. I’ve been trying to get a girlfriend since i was 13. That makes this a 16 year quest lol. I don’t’ like to talk about it that much but i am actually a virgin. I think there is no same in this. I was ready to start a ‘virgins anominous.’ I think there is too much of a ‘race for sex’ with men, and it really isn’t something we need to validate our male pride. For the last 5 our so years i have been more interested in a quest for love then a quest for sex.

I did my best to send her the right signals to this girl. Lets call her Revanna. it’s only now and then. I try not to overwhelm her or come off as needy. They way she looked at me, looked into my eyes, and things she said let me know she liked me. When that happened i tried to give back, to send her the right signal. I like to make it a bit humorous, so it is friendly and not scary, being too direct can be scary or even crude to people. She told me she was “recovering from drug addition” so i told her “funny, many of the girls i really like seem to be recovering drug addicts.” I think she liked that. The statement let her know that i ‘really liked her’ I opened that door. But because it was indirect, it just ‘lets her know’ without forcing her to respond to it. There is a place for being more direct but in this case it wasn’t until after we made love. She told me i was beautiful so at that point it was pretty easy for me to feel safe telling her i felt the same way. I told her she was hot, and she told me i was hot. I never experienced anything so complete. At another point she was telling me that her ex needed anime porn to get off. I ended up telling her something like “I actually watch that too lol. I watched regular porn too though. I guess i need both. I don’t actually like porn that much because it feels kind of aggressive, i don’t really like watching other people have sex, so i guess technically i watch ‘videos of women’ that may or may not be porn.” I told it as kind of a ‘funny story.’ I remember thinking ‘what the fuck kind of dating tactic is this, I am telling her about porn. it was ok because she brought up the subject and i could tell from her personalty that she was ‘cool’ talking about most anything. It felt important to bring the subject up at least once because, to respond to that opening she gave me to talk a few sentences on that topic, because it lets her know that i have those desires. she had told me about her sexual inclinations, her struggle to remain committed to a single person. It felt important that i open up too, otherwise she might actually think that i was too ‘proper’ to have sexual inclination, or some shit, she might just think i wasn’t interested. in the past i would say so little that girls would think i actually wasn’t interested. even when i definitely was. I try to say just enough for them to realize that i have these thoughts and feelings, for them or girls in general, without going overboard. I think because i opened up about these stuff, she felt comfortable to continue opening further to to me, asking to hold my had and ‘cuddle me’.  At one point i was walking around with her outside, and she asked to massage my hand. I tried to make it seem comfortable and natural, like it was ordinary or totally cool, I wanted her to get that i was ok with it, often guys might go overboard and say something too sexual at this point, or say nothing at all. It is actually very simple, almost too simple, but i found that perfect middle ground. I just waited a bit and let her massage my hand, she said “how does that feel?” i said something like “that feels nice.” The old me would have said “that feels fine.” And that would have made her think i didn’t like it. A lot of these things are like strange habits. I think that “fine” is some kind of safe word, because i’m afraid in the past of saying too much. but I knew this time that it was important to say “nice” or “good” and not just “fine”. I think i probably could have done a bit more, i tend to be overly cautious. She told me that she has liked me this entire time. I remember  many times being afraid just to say “hi” to her. I realize i could have been a lot more bold, just in terms of ordinary things like saying high. This girl is 25, she is close to my age. I’ve met some girls who were a bit younger and just not interested. Because of that and my past experiences i tend to assume any girl i like won’t be interested. but that isn’t true any more. In this case she was interested, and I could have been more active in approaching her or saying hi to her. I got lucky that she moved into my house, there are six of us living here as friends. And living together made us way closer.

After things went so well with Revanna I started to reevaluate a few past relationships. I can think of a time from last year where a girl was nice to me but i thought she wasn’t ‘really’ interested. but she said things like “when are we going to go on a date Zack?” the singles were mixed. i thought maybe it was some kind of a joke. but then she was more forward the more recent times i saw her saying things like “Zack is one of my favorite people” to one of my friends. and asking me to go on a walk with her. I remember a day a year ago when we had a chance to hang out but she didn’t talk to me, here head seemed somewhere else. But maybe she just thought i didn’t like here. I think she was ‘going through shit’ but that didn’t have anything to do with me. Maybe she liked me all along. Like with Revanna, i could have included her more. This Revanna girl is so attractive that even though i wasn’t ‘sure’ she wanted to talk, i would just see her and be like “hey!” i tried to make eye contact with her. I remember thinking she wasn’t that responsive. but i think i was being to self critical. Because the next time I saw her she was driving by and she gave me a big wave, then she responded to my friend request on face book. It was that ‘delayed reaction’ effect I referred to in my Naturally Social book at one point. i have so many versions of that book i’m not even sure it made it into the final ones. Sometimes when you give ‘the love’ to someone, i mean in an appropriate way, like saying ‘hello’ they might not ‘appear’ to give back at first. they make a mental note of it and then feel more inclined to ‘give back’ in the future, to say hello in the future. we get discouraged to easily. I’ve even noticed this in myself. once this hot girl was inclusive towards me, she asked me how i was doing. but i couldn’t think of anything interesting to say. it felt like i didn’t have a ‘good’ response to her that reflected her energy / the joy i felt. but then 30 minutes later i got another chance to talk to her. it ended up being a great conversation that when way past my expectations, it just started with me wanting to ‘give back’ a good vibe that she sent me.

I was hanging out with this Revanna girl one night. She told me she wanted to “cuddle me”. We went to her room. She told me to “just relax”. It was compassionate and not ‘annoyed’ or something. It was helpful that she said that. After like 15 or 20 minutes she asked if I wanted to have sex. Like an idiot I said “maybe”. I think i get so content just cuddling or being near a girl that i don’t even want any more. I am used to a very slow rate of escalation, like years or even decades lol. But I immediately remembered that one other time in my life i turned down sex with a beautiful girl. I had my reasons. I wanted a relationship with that girl and i was afraid she just wanted one time sex. But the opportunity never came again. It would have been worth it just for the experience. Life can be so chaotic and unpredictable. I knew that another chance might not come again for like another 2 years or something lol. So after a few seconds i was like “actually, lets have sex.” It was great to have her on top of me. I didn’t realize how much rigorous humping was involved. For 16 years, from when my quest for love stared at the age of 13, till now, i just couldn’t succeed with women. I began to feel hatred inside me. I wondered if women were more ‘evolved’ then men. If they had evolved beyond the need for love. They could focus on there higher passions for art and academic ambition. While men were controlled by base desires for the booty and other sexual inclinations. I told myself stores like this out of hatred, to try and explain things, to make sense of everything. I told myself that women were better and they didn’t need us. It was great to feel this girl humping me, because it made me feel that she was just like i was, that she had the same desires i did and that we could embrace them together. In this strange place where heaven and earth intertwine. We humans are almost like angels in the way we appear yet we have this animal side to us. Society keeps us so straight laced, we block out our desires to maintain a ‘polite’ and appropriate social facade. Some of us feel so timid about our desires that the other gender doesn’t fully realize that we are ‘into’ them. We don’t find creative ways to express our passion to each other.

This girl was kicked out of her place of work for flirting too much. She had to move away to be closer to her new job. I don’t dislike her for that. Many of the girls I like have been ‘flirtatious girls’, those girls tend to have a lot of vibrant energy, because they are always ‘playing the game’, I don’t hate them for that. Love is unpredictable and they survive by keeping there options open. I might do the same thing if i was hot to the extent that everyone wanted me they way it seems to be with this girl. I’m just happy that i was in her life. This is a really beautiful girl, so when she told me i was her “best physical encounter” that really blew my mind. Even though she had to move away only 2 weeks after moving into my house, moving was the last thing she wanted, and i still feel really connected to her, we talk a lot by phone and text. Neither of us have cars, but that doesn’t stop the connection. Apparently she broke up with her boyfriend. She told me many times that she wanted to break up with him for various reaction, like he was a few years younger then her, long distance, still in school, and way to eager to get married after only being together a few months. I was tempted to say, “i won’t do any of those things” because i won’t, but i thought it was better just to listen and help with her conflict. Even though i had an obvious interest in there bring a ‘particular outcome’ as to the ending of her relationship, I didn’t push for that at all, it wouldn’t benefit me to be pushy anyway, i just acted exactly as a fried would act to listen to her and to help her make the right decision for herself. And as a separate subject in separate moments i let her know that i liked her. She told me i had a beautiful mind body and soul. she told me i was hot. I told her she was hot. I told her I loved her, “but not in a possessive way” I added. I was afraid the world “love” might be scary because it implies a ‘strong attachment’. But she said it was sweet. I still find myself being careful not to come off as too attached. I haven’t even talked to her about the boyfriend subject in a while since she moved away 2 weeks ago, but i noticed her relationship status on Facebook vanished, and 3 days later i reappeared as “single”. I can still see him posting to her on face book. It sounds like she let him down easy. Just because she is single i’m not assuming she wants to be with me. Now there is a bit more of a distance between us. But i’m not assuming she doesn’t want to be with me either. I had a few friends tell me “they didn’t want me to get hurt” from me telling them the story. that feels way to negative. I mean, any time you open that door there is the possibility of getting hurt, intact it is almost gaurenttee, yet it is worth it all the same. I am used to hot girls being really complicated and hard to get with, compared to some of the stuff i have dealt with in the past, this girl is totally easy. Even tough our time together was short lived, I’ve never felt so validated, the relationship with her felt so complete. She said all kinds of things, that she liked my smile and thought it was so genuine. She even said she liked my pelvis or some shit lol. once she started saying stuff like that it became much easier to open up and feel safe saying the feelings i had to her. I always find myself holding back a bit, i like to play it cool, i don’t want to gush or dump all my feeling on her, maybe it’s just because i’ve been hurt so many times.

There was this great moment when she was standing on the other end of the living room taking a selfie, she looked damn fine, so i said as much. I was like “damn, who is the girl in that picture, she is so hot!!” the picture on the phone was just her reflection basically in the camera of course. When i said that she got this great smile then and ran over and sat next to me. then she took a picture of me. This was another way I let her know i think she is hot but did it in this humorous light hearted kind of way.

I had all kinds of deep conversations with her but most of this was after we already had sex. People say that i have great listening skills but they only come out when i’m around really hot women lol. I’m just glad to have these skills at all. They are really simple, but it took a long ass time to get it, to get how simple it really is. It’s really simple in the short term, being with people and listening to them, but in the long run, i end up soaking up quite a lot of information and i can rattle of the most relevant insight or piece of information for all kinds of situations. The old me would always try too hard in the moment then burn out after a few hours. What i am doing now, it is like a “stylistic application of nothing” compared to what i used to do. I am just enjoining myself. I try to always grow my connections with others. I joke around now and then. I don’t make constant jokes, i take breaks and try to wait for the right moment, but people say they like my humor. My jokes are always related to what is happening in the present moment.  I’m always commenting on some kind of funny situation. I feel connected to the people in my hows, i think Revanna sensed that. so there was already a foundation for us to connect, for her to get to know me even before we stared having long conversations. I like humor, I like to take a difficult situation and put a creative spin on it, make it lighthearted, I do it because it makes me feel good, I actually do it for myself but other people like it, i like it because they like it, and they like it because i like it. Most of the deep conversations i had with Revanna weren’t till after we had sex, but they were important for furthering the relationship. She was forced to leave too soon, but it is still my most successful romantic interaction.

I think a lot of guys like me are afraid of the ‘friend zone’ this idea that if you don’t get the relationship to ‘heat up’ fast enough you will get stuck being ‘just friends’ for ever. Even the word friend starts to take a negative connotation, like it becomes senomonious with ‘not good enough’ or ‘not worth of love’ / something more. At the same time i know that becoming someones friend means you can have them around for life where if you are only romantically involved and not really friends, once the relationship is over that’s it. I’ve seen people who were dating stay friends for years after they broke up and possibly forever. I’ve also herd stories about people who were friends for years and years and finely at a certain point realizing that they wanted something more, even that they were perfect for each other. I think there is something essential that makes that difference. For me it is ‘party therapy’, it is being connected to the energy, harnessing the ‘good vibes’ of people and having self kindness, self love, being connected to yourself, etc. I believe if one can do this you can ‘break out’ of the friend zone, it does’t matter if you’ve been in that zone with someone for one year or 15 years, if you tap into the natural effortless ‘good vibes’ they will -feel- attracted to you to the point that they can’t help but want to be with you. it goes beyond logic. the friend zone becomes kind of like the matrix, it is possible to glitch out of the matrix, to unplug, by harnessing the power good vibes, and learning to be a more chill confident person. I notice i still have this fear of getting stuck in a friend zone, but maybe it is something i need to get over.

 

2019 note:

Please support me by buying my book so i can spend more time giving Natural Social Therapy (Party Therapy) to the world. I am struggling a lot with money and it is hard to get the project running or even make a basic living in today’s society.

For too long people have lived out entire lifetimes repeating basic trauma patterns and not living fulfilling lives while the rich blame the poor for being ‘unmotivated’ and many people suffer, suicide become the only way out for many. Our current society is not working. I think a better world is fully possible. All it takes is awareness.

Depletion vs Depression vs Stress

Depletion is different from, yet can make our bodies more susceptible to, stress or depression. This was a side note in another article, but then I realized it deserved it’s own article.

I call this low energy state ‘depletion’ or ‘drain’ but it is NOT the same as depression… and not the same as sadness, even though they all can feed into each other. Depletion is an absence of phonic light energy in the body, like physical exhaustion, while sadness is an emotional response to an event or circumstance. This is not a clear distinction at all for many people, but it is very distinct and can be offensive to confuse them. Depletion is also not the same as stress, yet a depleted body is weak and will succumb of physical strain or stress much more easily, so they are connected in that way. Our society knows a lot about stress, but for me -depletion- (cellular energetic depletion) is an even bigger underlying root problem we know almost nothing about too often. For a while I was even calling depletion depression and then I had this moment where I was like, “wait, these are two importantly different things”, but when people repeat something a lot, it boggles your brain, it influences you. You want to say what is ready to be understood, yet you don’t want to be a sucker and completely give up on the point you were making just because your afraid of push back.

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Depletion is about the absence of energies our eyes can’t see (waves of light and sound, and magnetism), though we CAN see the EFFECTS of this energy or the effects of its absence. On the other hand, we often blame stress or anxiety because they seem like more tangible phenomenon, easier to spot and articulate, yet it’s really only half or 45% of the story. In fact if I have a hard day I will tell people i’m stressed because they get that right away, if I tell them I’m depleted they don’t know what i’m talking about, or think that I’m depressed and try to talk it out of me. If you say exhausted that implies you were working out, but you can become very depleted just from standing still too long, being still to long is actually uncomfortable for the body and causes energy to leek out. You can become depleted just form being near stressful, or depleted, people too long, or being stuck in a very blank drab un-stimulating room. Or taking refuge from the boredom of school or work in a place that has no people. Board during the day and socially depleted in the evening. Sometimes people can be together we but the community isn’t right, no one is having fun. It takes a larger community to undo depletion sometimes, a couple anxious friendships just aren’t enough to make up for an absence of connection and harmony and fun in the larger community.

Depression is its own significant and different thing, it may not be a choice, it can be deep built up sadness caused by many absences or negative events happening over years. I may not be doing depression justice, this article is more about depletion so i’ll stick to what i know, and the definitions have been been blurred, i wonder that a lot of what we call depression stress or anxiety in my mind is really rooted in and caused by depletion. And the words do matter because they can have different implications. The word -depletion- hits home for me that many of these problems are rooted in a physical absence of energy in the cells, not just an emotion or a ‘choice’ that certain people are not making… and not laziness or a lack of will power either.

Now I think there are many cases of depletion that are misdiagnosed as depression. A depleted person is very motivated, and struggling with the physical limitations that their body just can’t do the things they want to or feel connected to people for some reason.  Antidepressants may not do the trick. Many doctors are dying to hand them out and convince you that you have depression or one of their many diagnoses that you may not have at all. Many of these so-called disorders really I find have very little to do with the mind and the brain or permanent brain damage.. that is possible, even then damage may not be in the mind maybe another places of the body. I find a lot of these so-called disorders can be healed through the right kinds of environments through the energy of people practicing being around people every day and learning to enjoy the company of others and not see others as threatening. These  experiences of being blocked or having invisible walls in life can be healed through the power of play, learning and practicing how to play in harmony with others and enjoy yourself with others and practicing experiencing this every day just for a few weeks or months.  Bringing a variety of different types of play into your day and learning to cultivate that enjoyment, that feeling in your heart. and not getting obsessed over one singular activity  over and over for weeks and weeks, but having a variety of different ways of having a fun, yet not straining or forcing your body.  I find playful experiences with others such as going on a trip an adventure with people whom I like, to be extremely healing and transformative of all my physical problems or feelings of being blocked. things like medication have actually left me sedated, increasingly tired,  different pills I’ve tried that were recommended by doctors have left me worse off. I find doctors actually persist to give me them sometimes  I want to make things worse.  it’s almost like they do this out of this intense compulsion or force of habit.  This Fear to question or go against the norm. Despite all the great results I’ve got in from the power of people and play doctors still  whimsically handout meds to, I don’t know, millions of people I’m afraid to imagine the number.  Even things like a lot of the social coaching I’ve got and the mandatory karate lessons left me feeling exhausted and burnt out, feeling like making friends is this agonizing effort but never quite gives back what you want and the people you’re really attracted to always seem unattainable.  School ever did was teach me to place my intellect before my feelings and desires to top me to feel insecure like I had to impress friends by being a really smart genius person I didn’t realize I was doing it but I was always trying to be his cleverness to when our friends but my mind will just go blank from the pressure of not having any creative are good ideas I could never  Santa follow what people are talking about but it was only because I was stressed because I was making things so much more complicated than they ever needed to be her middle school just over complicated everything and took the fun out of life. Now just being around groups of people, sometimes in the festival type atmosphere when possible, I get my daily or weekly dose of human energy I just receive the energy now, go to the places that make me feel good when possible, and I don’t see it as an effort or challenge at all it’s just like eating food. I practice this playful attitude and I just be around people and it’s very effortless and I get way more results than I did with anything else before. sometimes attractive girls walk up to me and after a few days  my top pick girl is spending entire days with me back to back and she’s holding my hand and kissing me 3 times in one day. And it all feels very natural like the way it always supposed to have been. I nearly did anything.  I kept meeting her eyes and then she would say “hey get over here!” and I would just follow her.  That’s the most rewarding feeling when a babe is telling you “get over here”.  Everything society taught me I felt so forced and calculated I could never seem to access this inner energy and power in myself. I really have to cultivate that just through a pure enjoyment an almost indulgent enjoyment of being in the company of people and people I like and places I like when possible.. AND having an attitude of play even in difficult situations. equally making the most of difficult places or circumstances by always finding the fun in my job, in class, even when I have to work a mundane job, enjoying the company of all the people at that job. But still it is really just about enjoyment and not force and pain and agony the way I was raised. (sorry I’m using text to speech now and it has an atrocious errors I’m gonna have to go back and fix them)  entire life seems like a joke holding this girls hand and it happened so effortlessly it’s almost like she’s coming onto me I didn’t even do anything she was rubbing her ass on my crotch and grabbing my hand and dragging me down the halls it’s exhilarating and unreal like I don’t even know it’s happening anymore. I used  to put so much thought into getting the right timing and I’ll grab a girls hand just to have her let go or pull away.  It’s sort of like that scene in the movie office space I’m just having a party all the time now everything I was doing before it’s just a joke, endlessly tinkering away for years at tedious art projects hoping that one day I would be famous and have a girlfriend.  Or becoming the fastest runner on my team and running these 8 mile runs and still feel like a loser who has no friends for some reason.  All this effort was absolutely for no reason. now all I do is imagine that I’m always having a party, it’s just this ‘party attitude’ and good things just keep building up.  I treat others with compassion for the suffering and challenges they go through that often get overlooked yet I’m always having fun even the compassion is part of the fun because it opens the way at all that connected energy human, to the adventure of leaning about people. Even talking about my problems can be fun because it helps me relate to people and them relate to me.

Depletion is a significant absence of energy that effects the material body, it can be caused by many things, and often is caused by many things at once, not just one, or rather the absence of many things or factors that should be there. It’s illusive because the body can repel or bounce back from one negative element, so we can never find that ‘one cause’ depletion usually happens when there are so many negative elements in ones life, that it causes their energetic body to collapse in on itself. It requires many cures, or positive influences. That’s why one ‘cure’ may not be enough. The body is strong and often it takes more then one thing to bring it down, in many cases. So lets explore all those factors!

Environment matters a lot. I often see coaches working with depleted people and trying to ‘motivate’ them out of it. And this is what leads to the viscous cycle of stress, we think we are not good enough, never trying hard enough, if i just try ‘harder’ it will work.. it never does. The truth is being depleted is actually very hard already, and the solution is to soak up some good energy. To find the right environments, the right self-talk, learning to treat yourself with kindness, learning you deserve to put yourself in places that make you feel good, hang around people that make you feel good. rearranging your furniture, bringing more color and light into your house, putting up pictures that make you feel good, putting your well-being first. being around others, yet not chasing and sacrificing yourself for them. you can’t ‘motivate’ the photons back into your bodies cells. it’s actually a very enjoyable process, it’s about finding the rhythm and practice reining these energies. I spent a long time battling and stressing and motivating myself to succeed, but i found it very fruitless, stress that creates more stress, it eventually leads to a kind of insanity, and your willing to do anything and believe anything (i see this all the time), and that only gives fuel to the idea that ‘trying harder’ in this self forceful way will lead to results. At the end of the day i’m not offering immortality, it’s just a series of subtle yet significant shifts…. It can be easy to say ‘open more windows?’ that’s not that important’, or ‘decorate my house with colorful inspiring posters?’ i’ll get to that another time, or ‘variety sounds good but i like this activity more, so i will do this one activity all day’, yet when you combine all these energetic benefits, your standard of wellness can increase a lot, it magnetically shifts the body/heart, to create an upwards pull, your own gravitational center if you will, you cultivate enough personal satisfaction or deep vital energy, that you over come the exhaustive pull over gravity (not enough to fly) but you body will feel a lot lighter and more agile.

It’s a critical mass, where the positive forces in your life overcome the negative forces, it involves everyone and everything, but you don’t have to think about it all or make it complicated, it’s a lot of subtle benefits, but it adds up to create a dramatic shift, where now effortless momentum, photonic and magnetic energy, is working in your personal favor. before it was bleeding out into the ground. but now reaching a certain mass of energy, it becomes perpetual motion, ‘flow’ as many call it (without always explaining all the forces involved) and this body energy can make so many parts of life a lot easier and more beneficial to people around you. a depleted body suffers AND pulls people around them down too, like a black hole, it sucks in so many ways and is the hardest thing ever. Cultivate a critical mass of energy, and you benefit and others benefit. depleted people are not bad or lazy. There are so many stigmas about this it is crazy. When we realize that people who fall into the pull of gravity, these downward energies, and actually just waiting for their potential energy to be unblocked, we begin to see many more people as comrades, and support and love them rather then criticize them because we think they are ‘not trying’, which can’t be farther from the truth.

 

2019 note:

Please support me by buying my book so I can spend more time giving Natural Social Therapy (Party Therapy) to the world. I am struggling a lot with money and it is hard to get the project running or even make a basic living in today’s society.

For too long people have lived out entire lifetimes repeating basic trauma patterns and not living fulfilling lives while the rich blame the poor for being ‘unmotivated’ and many people suffer, suicide become the only way out for many. Our current society is not working. I think a better world is fully possible. All it takes is awareness.

Please support us by buying books and merchandise and spreading awareness so we can devote more time to writing and spreading the party therapy message. The world has enough suffering. Healing is not about suffering. It’s about unlearning all those old habits, and learning just to be kind to yourself! My girlfriend and I are motivated yet we are struggling financially to get on our feet.

https://paom.com/search?type=vendor&q=wild-compassion+tag:public

Thanks to all the amazing people that have supported and followed this blog recently! Much more then I expected! I have some new material, but some of my best stuff is already up, so I want to circulate it a bit more! I don’t know if there is a way to direct message people, so I will thank you here!

 

Too often Pain & Sadness is mistaken for Anger & Disapproval

Sometimes we grow up feeling like we aren’t good enough. By default we expect to have to ‘earn’ others approval. That if we don’t ‘try’ or do anything impressive, our natural normal relaxed self will be disliked.

Another could be tired, exhausted, lonely, depressed, sad, about something that has nothing to do with us, yet in this ‘I’m not good enough state’, it becomes about us, we read our fears into their tiredness, we think they are tired with us, they are disapproving of us. However so often people are really just exhausted with things that have nothing to do with us, this person they just met, or a near aquenace, they aren’t really judging you very much at all, so when getting to know people, it’s really essential to see that their pain has nothing to do with us, it is not caused by something ‘we did’ just now, it has a deep history that has nothing to do with us. Then we can separate their pain from us. And people and strangers become much more approachable. When I come from a place of trust and self trust, instead of self doubt, then it becomes easier to see that this person is frequently not mad with me, that they are in fact actually sad or in pain about what can be a great many things starting before you arrived or years ago, you might just call it the inherent pain of life.

Not taking their pain personally, and not expecting them to be happy, seeing that it is ok to be drained or dogruntled actually allows the other person to feel safe, they can let down their guard, and don’t have to always ‘act happy’ they don’t have to worry about the stress of doing that. They don’t have to act happy purely to protect us from taking sadness or lameness personal, because they can see that we are accepting of all the moods. This humanness is actually a place for deeer connection than the forced happy. They see we had a hard day to and they feel our humanity. They feel closer to us, and may tell us something deep about their day they would not have said if they felt pressure to be upbeat or nice. Sometimes all the niceness becomes like a cover to protect from the fear of the silence between people, it creates pressure for everyone to act nice and upbeat yet then the sad emotions and personal human struggles never come out so we feel strangely distanced. The ‘nice guys finish last’ thing. The sadness or pain becomes a good thing, because we have accept it is there, is not about us, and it becomes something we can have compassion for, an opening to connect, a reason to just be together and listen, or lower standards and expectations. it takes off the stress of having to pretend everything is “great” all the time. We can worry less about offending each other and take more time just enjoying ourselves in each others company.

Yin Yang Haruhi

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Awakening the Innate Intelligence

Play is flowing with each enjoyment of life, then letting go of each joy and worry, to move on to the next positive playful focus. Finding that letting go into the flow of each cosmic event, actually strengthens our memory, our ability to recall that facts we need exactly when we need them with mere detail, more creative spin and new synaptic connections. Allowing some details to go forgotten, trusting our body is already doing all it needs to do to be all we need to be, this act of forgetting, letting go, actually strengths our ability to instantly & clearly recall the things that matter. By focusing on the fun more of the time, the ‘innate intelligence’ emerges on its own, it will be there, on it’s own. Because too often our society does not allow this ‘already present’ intelligence the time it needs to emerge and blossom on its own. Play is the fuel for the mind. Positive relaxing stimulating environment supports neuron generation. Play and relax at your own pace around others. Play and relaxing are both seen as legure activites, as unproductive in our society, this is why we alloys feel so stiff and dry and lonely. Doing something simple like playing and relaxing around others actually takes a kind of activism, to stand up to the rules that don’t make sense, or at lest meet the needs of your heart, do what you want and need, what makes you feel right, even when others seem to constantly tell you not to.

 

Getting high on what the group thinks

Trading in Better Judgment to get High on Group Opinions; the riptide of an unrealized/unfun and overly disciplined community

When groups gather and unite in their beliefs it creates a high feeling in every person. This can be amazing. Yet this also has a history of backfiring, in cases of Natzis or people ‘drinking the kool-aid’, people disregard science, their own intuition or health, or the heath of outsiders for the sake of uniting in their group, the high feeling this brings. The group mind-frame or shared opinion itself becomes magnetic powerful even addictive, because thinking of it links us back to all those memories and feelings of the energy that came from people, we associate the idea, the pill, the chore or the activity with the energy high.. instead of associating that good feeling with people themselves; we become intoxicated on whatever the group thinks, even when it is detrimental the the planet. Some of these group mentalities are obvious, like when people used to believe the earth was flat or the earth was the center of the universe and reject other ideas or people that still don’t believe in evolution… yet many of these ‘group mentalities’ that are just as absurd remain hidden, they have a way of blending in and seeming passible if you are not the victim of them, we don’t notice the suffering this copycat behavior causes. They get taken for fact. We distrust our long term friends in favor of mass public opinion, the things our fathers were told by their fathers who were told by there fathers. “This idea has been around, it has ‘worked’ for so many hundreds or thousands of years, so that must be proof of it’s effectiveness” we naturally think, yet an underlying element is being masked, the contagiousness of mass human thinking, and the tendency to cling to the familiar in favor of the unknown. We hold onto the familiar even to our detriment. The heart thrives on movement, change and play, free form creative silly human interaction without judgment without control… yet the fear of uncertainty exists on mass scale, it holds us back from our potential. It creates these large channels of control behavior throughout society. This needs a good term like ‘herd mentally’ or ‘mimesis’ or lemming behavior.. Perhaps ‘social riptide’. It’s like the undercurrent of something that is mostly good. I’ve also called it a false reward system, we keep coming back for a reward that seems close but is really impossibly far away, a horse that is chasing a carrot on a string. Countless people are pulled into these ruts of absurd routines that we all know don’t really make sense, yet it is just so hard to shift them, it’s easier to comply and accept our pay at the end of the day. We trade in fact or our better judgment, the whisper our heart is telling us.. for an pseudo feeling of connectedness created through preforming tasks that masses of others also take part in, it creates this sense of unity and power that is real, it adds up to being ‘good enough’ yet it prevents us from really questioning some of these menial tasks and beliefs, we give up on there being something better. The world is full of many depleted or even injured people that are being treated like they have some kind of mental problem. Some peoples lives are so devoid of fun and friendship that it becomes physically damaging over the years, then they are given some random label out of a hat like “autistic, add, bi-poloar, adhd, schizophrenic, psychotic, borderline personality” it gets repeated and repeated. We are taught simplistic and pointless skills we already know. When I see a seriously injured or starving person I sometimes make the joke to myself “he must be autistic” because this is basically the way doctors think. It’s a cruel joke so I don’t say it, yet people are starving without relationship or meaning in their lives, living in constant low energy and stress.. and doctors call them “autistic”, they might as well be starving or victims of war and disease. This thinking keeps us focused on our own problems, it keeps us ‘self-improving’ instead of focusing on positive self image, having an I’m ‘already awesome’ mentality that is needed for healing, it keeps us insecure, it might all be ok if there was more value in creating fun safe healthy relationships in society. We learn to ‘prove’ our worth to other people, instead of how to enjoy being around people, we feel we are not ‘exciting’ or important enough already, we get caught in a stress loop of always improving, it’s never enough, it prevents us from taking time to really enjoy the feeling of having fun with others day after day, from that fun really charisma can blossom. Yesterday someone my mom hired was teaching me how to “ask for things” so much of my life has been spent learning things i already know. At one point in high school someone came to my house to teach me how to sound out consonants and vowels, as though school wasn’t already an endless overflow of dry lifeless data. It feels like there just aren’t enough places where people gather just to have fun, there is always some demeaning label attached like “we are here to fix your learning disability or social disability” or something. These terms teach people they aren’t equal, they don’t have worth, they have to spend life “overcoming” themselves, overcoming something basic in their bodies, that we should dislike our selves or our own minds, this is a stressful way to live. You need to really love your body and mind, to see yourself as brilliant, (even if you have some sever brain damage) we really need this type of self loving view to heal. The ‘self-imporivng’ view sounds great, yet it is a stressful way to live. I was just watching an interview and I read in the comments that the actor was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Great yet another person diagnosed with some rediclious disorder. As though he has ‘two personalities’. He probbably just got tired over years of being teased for his unpopular roal, maybe years of being lonely, not finding meaning in our twisted society. You could call it ‘two personalities’ or you could just call it being angry. More like being really really angry and defeated in life.

The group seems too contrived, yet it can be ‘good enough’.. Being alone feels liberating at first (like when Elsa ‘lets it go!’), we can finally do whatever free creative thing we want, yet soon this too doesn’t feel right, we become lonely, worse, we become empty. Either way we can’t win. Eventually we crawl back to society.  There is a third option, to change society, but it doesn’t have to be all that overwhelming. It can start simply by changing the way we are around people. The ripple effect of an attitude, a way of being, and small daily actions.

We get a high from connecting to ‘society’ simply because it involves many people, yet that society is full of habit, drone behavior that is no where never its full creative potential. We trust the ‘word,’ the rules of society, when it is really the people in that society that are giving us the good feeling. That feeling is just the tip of what it could be, if each person followed their creative impulse together in the group. Having fun on the large adult scale is considered so unconventional in our current world. We can shift society. The sleeping impulse for fun is in everyone. Our creative and compassionate potential is untapped in part because of the weight of the ancient patterns of many minds. And also because it is part of our learning. Having fun on the group scale is a technology in a way. A method of harnessing human energy. I call it the ‘light-play intelligence’. It is an intelligence of the heart. The heart is like an engine that runs on the ‘dual fuel’ of human energy and having fun. Having fun means having fun, yet also finding the fun in the practical tasks of life. It is natural, yet it can be learned. Learning why fun matters makes us more resilient to the habitual patterns that try to dry up our good time. Shifting just 10% of society is a movement for example, it is enough to make the spread become increasingly contagious. Putting values like self love self kindness, community creativity and equality first. So many people think they need to be better stronger faster smatter, the stressful rat race to nowhere. We can reprogram the world, we start by simply believing it is possible each day. Giving it time even when the effects seem small. The ripple effect is small at first yet it becomes increasingly powerful.

 

Please support me and my girlfriend by buying books to help us get started with affording a new apartment while we find jobs.

Harnessing Sexual Energy

Sexual Energy Cultivation

This section is only true for the male body but as women it could help to understand too.

I struggled allot feeling depleted even as a young teen. I remember a time when life just seemed to become more depressing and I didn’t know why. At the point in my life when I was being spiritual and motivated to the highest degree, I once went an entire year where I only masturbated 4 times. During this year my energy was much higher then ever before, and my social charisma, I also spend time working an internship at a spiritual retreat I enjoyed, and meeting women with my dating coach. Yet I felt a clear connection between not masturbating and energy increase. I had heard some yogis speak of this and I thought it was worth seeing how far I could draw it out, just how much energy could I get from this. the thing was I really didn’t understand why it worked, and that made me both more likely to give in later on, and more likely to be too hard on myself. I became about denying myself all desire, I thought this brought me life energy, but I was wrong.. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

my journey finding a formula

I was years later that I put it together, I found a formula. After years of denying myself all types of desires like the buddha I became very week and decrepit. I experimented a lot and eventually figured out masturbation was totally heathy in a way i now feel definitive about and actually produced a degree of energy through positive emotional and pleasure stimulation. The energetic losses and gains had to do with ejaculation and sperm. I found that by not ejaculation for days and weeks I would already see significant increase in my energy. I believe this is true for all mean. it has to do with the energy seamen contain, it is the energy of stem cells, incredible energy to produce newborn life in just one cell in millions we have and expend when we cum.

Now I enjoy the masturbation but tend not to cum very often, I just get board, the first part is enjoyable and enhanced by my increased energy, the end part is short and sweet, yet not worth feeling down for days afterwards. I tend to save it up. Yogis and buddhism can become too much about denying pleasure and I no longer promote this at all. There are two ways to get the energy increase, maybe three ways. One you just don’t masturbate that often, two you masturbate but don’t ejaculate, I prefer this or a mixture, but it takes a degree of self control or skill, but this control is easier when you express the energy increase, and cuming is totally healthy and important now and then, I still like it now and then just for the sake of it, but it can be like eating a giant cake, I don’t go there all the time.

balancing energies

Important to note, this withdrawal from ejaculation has to be done in combination with playful social activity, or manful creative activity, and time spent around people, sunlight, groups of people, in relaxed playful connections, you have to get the other healthy experience and energies of life and spend time in places and environments that make you feel good, having a playful attitude that helps you feel good. If you just are alone in a room for a year and don’t masturbate at all, it won’t increase your energy, your sperm will increase, but the lack of fun and sunlight will greatly outweigh that increase, this took a very long time for me to understand even after closely paying attention to subtle details for many years making it my life mission to understand my body and how to tap it’s energy.

The Benefits

Just going 3 days with out ejaculating, your energy will increase, your social charisma, attractiveness to the opposite sex, physical health, deep inner energy and power, strength, the increase in sperm cells will increase the energy of your entire body. This is my special hack, you can masturbate, just don’t ejaculate if you desire to experience this increase. I find this had been an important source of energy in my life, and has turned EVERYTHING around, it has got me success with women, women sitting in my lap, literally; things that would never have happened to the old me who masturbated and ejaculated EVERY DAY that was where all my energy was going as a teen, ever since I started ejaculating, my body was dumping a big portion of it’s energy into the waist bin. All that life force in the trash. It’s hard not to get that sweet final orgasm at first, but it gets a lot easier, the increase for me is so drastic that I don’t even think about it.

masturbating vs ejaculating

As a semi side note, masturbating less tends to make the masturbating more exciting. Many of us get addicted to it like a drug, I don’t recommend masturbating twice or more a day for anyone, I tend to do it once every two days on average, sometimes it’s juts once a week, I really don’t think about it. I could call this article the benefits or reduced ejaculation, but I wanted to ease you into it and say how and why first.

the limits / no limits

If you go longer and longer without ejaculating your body keeps saving the sperm and now there is more life energy flowing through your blood, your sack can reach full capacity after just 3 or 4 days of not masturbating, yet once the ‘glass is full’ so to speak, the ‘tank is full,’ now you are just beginning to reap that energy benefit. You can go on expressing energy increases for weeks and weeks if you can hold off that long. It’s great because you can do this however you choose, you can hold off a little on the ejaculation every week and experience benefits, you could stop totally for multiple weeks if you really feel compelled by this and just want to see how far your energy can increase. Some have gone years without doing it, but that is not required, I experience significant benefits and my social and emotional health, my social charisma and creative all increase after just days of not ejaculating, after weeks there is even more benefit, and I can masturbate as much as I want if I don’t cum, that takes skill and if you go at it too often eventually you get tired and come.

Even if I was significantly injured, I think this would still be a non-decision, I ejaculate rarely, because the increase of energy I get is so drastic it is always with it. It is even fun to see how long I can go without giving in. You can be easy on yourself and get plenty of benefits still. Start with ejaculating less, like once every three or four days, then try to go a week without. If you don’t experience benefits then you can stop, or start rather. But just this should be enough. Look for increased magnetism with the opposite sex. Increased emotions in your chest, particularly when you make eye contact with people. Good luck!