A conversation with Dr. Deborah Rozman, co-CEO of HeartMeath Institute. We discuss the development of personal heart-brain coherence and the Global Coherence Initiative.
If you are willing to make an effort, learning to love yourself is an extremely powerful and beneficial activity.
Meridians ? Well you may ask. They are the vibrational energy that flows through your body. Your health revolves around this energy. Your health revolves around balanced energy. It affects your digestion, breathe, thinking and your emotions. If your meridians are not producing balanced energy then that is when illness of some form can develop. This […]
Always happy to see validation of why the work we do at Center for Social is so important: http://www.fastcompany.com/3059481/7-reasons-why-emotional-intelligence-is-one-of-the-fastest-growing-job-skills
Once in middle-school I was saying something to a teacher after class, I put one finger up in this weird kind of way, sort of like this goofy hand gesture ‘I’m making a point, yet playing on myself at the same time’, I didn’t know why I was doing it, I just felt like it. She touched her finger too mine in an et. kind of way. and said “I just felt like touching it” at the time I thought she was making fun of my weirdness. But now I think that it was an act of play, for both of us. However weird, that was one of our most connected moments.
I think I had thought she was judging me… because once earlier in the year I borrowed this large fiction book, and she said something that implied i wasn’t smart enough to read it. I went to ask if I could take it home… and she looked at me and was like “too hard?”. I was used to this. Used to people thinking i was less intelligent then i was. and because of this I assumed she would always be condescending to me, rather then notice that was something that could change quickly depending on how i resounded to her. a relaxed response vs a stiff one. But i realize that play transcends our judgments. We all have an innate yearning for play and connection, even when society predisposes us to certain stigmas and judgments, we can transcend these quickly in play… we have moments where we go past the judgment. And part of it is learning not to expect the judgment before it is there.
I have 1000 examples like this. Times I thought people were indifferent, rejecting, making fun of, that weren’t true, they were actually opportunities for play or subtle connection.
All this time I thought I was seeing the world the way it was, uncomfortable, loud, noisy, smelly, bothersome, but now I think I was just catching the debris, my negative heart field was magnetizing and picking up more negative energy, negative sensations, creating a negative perception of reality that became real. Now it’s like literally stepping into a different reality. Drawing attention to positive sensations, I begin to have more positive sensations. You really have to commit and believe the world is bright, when I’m deep in the rut of not knowing a happy life.
As a teen+young man I used to think if someone found out a solution for why relationship was so difficult, why meeting people was so difficult, (specific details about why I seemed to go blank around people, why I felt connected at rare times, knew it was possible, just didn’t find it most times), etc; if someone found these answers I thought it would be “big news” “popular information” …But now I wonder if all along there were people how had insights that could have helped me, but I saw the world through fear and self doubt, so I didn’t even notice. Perhaps even the fear of the entire ‘herd’ (community), prevented important awarenesses from becoming common knowledge.
One can go main stream, but that takes a combination of health and wisdom that can be rare. How many other voices are ‘on the right track’ but go unheard because of fear or doubt. How many books did I read, but instead of enjoying the material, I just kept being reminded of my own incompetence? Some school teacher voice in my head, telling me to focus and get better, but I’m not even enjoying the book or aware I should be. Now I enjoy what I read, and it feeds me energy, I take in much more, with no effort at all, it actually gives me a charge.
I wonder that often people who are wise only really get there after they are injured.. and yet people don’t want to take the advice of injured unattractive people; or the opposite, people are healthy, yet they stay ignorant, because the world feeds off their material beauty, no mater what they do, so they don’t have to learn or change their ways, regardless of how they effect people around them, there are aways more/other people willing to follow their material power status or looks. Now when i’m looking for advice, i don’t just take it from the ‘shiny people’. In fact it is usually the ugly, the crippled, and the damaged that have the most to say. Yet i say this, injury is not a -requirement- for wisdom. In fact getting the advice of the injured may be the best way to stop the cycle of pain and repeating history, to -prevent- injury, and succeed in life.
My fear, or habit, kept me doing things for years that I knew in my heart wasn’t working. Or following advice that didn’t feel quite right. It was ‘good enough’ to scrape along. My own self doubt (negative feelings) kept me down, a cycle; it kept me from noticing & enjoying my environment; and it kept me from noticing the truth, that others were just as lost as I was. Seeing in a positive light helps me discern the helpful from the not helpful; seeing the good in someone that has both good and bad, when in the past I was more likely to wright off an entire possibility. Perhaps through play and enjoying human presence we can learn, learn the architecture of our own aliveness.
Hello, I’m using this blog to share life lessons. Simple learnings that took years going down the wrong roads for me to learn; hopefully future generations can take the benefit and won’t have to repeat the same level of pain. Including some basic social mistakes that were not really talked about in my time. As well as subtler learnings. Ways of tapping into magnetic uplifting energy. Accessing your heart field. Energy of light and play between people. Understanding ‘trauma’s of absence’ Problems that have no physical cause; caused by something that should be there but was or is not. Attracting what you want, without ‘battling’ for it. Opening up the discussion. Sharing the love.
I walk into a social event, and five people look at me, I could introduce myself to each one, but that could get stressful… instead I just enjoy the feeling of their eyes, pause in it and then say “Hey”, maybe all I’m thinking about is how sexy I am (positive focus). And that’s it. Then maybe I sit down at a table with 5 totally different people, because they seem chill. But there still is a connection with the first group I can return to, they’re cool with me. And even just a moment feels good. Now a girl I just met is showing me a picture of her dog. I focus on the ‘cuteness’ of the dog. She talks about the dog. I listen and respond to what lights the person up. I visualize her with her dog. And now it is cheering us both up, creating a feeling of connection, even though I’m not doing anything complicated. This positive feedback loop is happening. Focusing attention on ‘cuteness’, at the same time feeling a bio-connection with the girl, is creating a good heart feeling that effects the other person. Then while still feeling this I can add a question, learn more.
Another guy is telling me about his fan fiction, and I listen, but now he feels pushy like he’s trying to hard to sell me his fan-fiction, so I back off. I identify with how he is communicating, but I don’t have a way of helping him at this time, the best think it to just keep enjoying the group.
There is often this dual or gently alternating awareness between what I’m saying, other people, the external actions – and what I’m feeling, attention to my own enjoyment; internal goodness. At one moment I’m talking to someone, there is a pause, but I just keep gazing at them (it’s a guy, but it could be a guy or girl, non sexual.) he rests his face in his hands, now he is saying “man it’s been a long day” spilling our some of his life story. “I’ve been doing repairs on my house” There is a relaxing into the connection. I listen, and then I check back in if I feel good. It does feel good, it’s something new, it feels exciting that this personal connection is happening so easily. Mutual benefit.
Another guy is talking about his photography, I show interest, now he is showing pictures to the whole group. This feels natural. More ways too connect.
Someone is reminded of something. Now a more dynamic conversation is happening, it feels good, like ‘play’. People seem to relax into their laughter. I laugh and show interest even if it doesn’t matter what I’m laughing about. I laugh because it feels good for me, not because I’m trying to make other people laugh. Yet doing this may help others relax. The mood feels good. I feel my presence is supporting the energy, if there’s a pause I’m not afraid, instead I think of something positive, (or say something) so it creates a safety net, where one might not otherwise be. Just a bit more support to sustaining this ‘play’ flow & stronger bio-light level interaction in the group. I’m making a lot of eye contact, enjoying the conversation, the topics, like I enjoy a movie. I’m not really thinking about what anyone is thinking. more energy is building in the group by each person’s presence and state of play. My body feels loose. I find I’m using my hands or body when I respond to someone, but not really thinking about it, it just feels good. Someone looks in my eyes and then looks back to the group, almost like their drinking or sharing in my energy. I could say ‘drinking’ but it feels mutual, I feel powerful & valued.
Someone hugs me, instead of thinking ‘what should I do to get this girl to like me?’ ‘am I holding on too long?’ ‘where should my hands go?’ there is none of that. I put my hands on her back because that feels good. I am not afraid to touch her. And all I think about is ‘fuzzy cats’ or ‘this feels good’ for an indefinite time. Whatever focus helps me feel good. Now after 10 seconds of this, we both feel this heart connection; the feeling continues after the hug stopped.
After some hours I announce that I’m leaving. Someone reaches to shake my hand, and I just hold his hand for a while, he’s in this chilled out state; now someone else is talking to me, but I’m still holding the first guys hand. Goofy stuff like this. The physical connection feels good in itself, needs no justification. He says “Oh sorry” I say “It’s cool.” We didn’t know what to say, but we both sort of enjoyed it.
As I’m going to leave I scan the room a last time with my eyes. My eyes meet someones, and she says “Are you on Facebook?”
There you have an info-exchange opportunity. I just looked, but that was in itself an action which gave them permission to ask.
Or I could have asked. Many right answers.
Another day I bring a new comic book with me to the group (this was an anime meetup). I have only read the first five pages, but because it is new, I bring it, it sparks discussion. Stimulates positive thoughts/feelings in myself and others.
In the past I would have thought ‘I don’t really understand what this book is about’ ‘I don’t know as much about comics as these experts’ ‘If I bring it it will draw unwanted attention’ ‘I’m not really that smart’ ‘Conversation is all about being smart’. What I can’t see is the negative thoughts and bad self image keep me down. How much of my life did I spend this way. – Now there’s none of that. Negative is not just removed but replaced with positive.
At one point I’m hungry, I’m not embarrassed to meet my needs. I’m not self conscious to get up, if there is a good time, or if there isn’t, I just get up. I go to a cafe near by. I buy whatever I feel like eating. I’m in a ‘playful’ mode, so maybe I think of something new. I’m not so afraid/distracted that I’m on autopilot. I’m relaxed enough to buy whatever I feel like buying or even notice new things. I get a sandwich and a carrot juice. I’m walking back to the event. I notice a guy from the event. And I say hi to him. It feels effortless or magnetic. – Taking time to walk around after the conversation has released more energy for us both.
I get back to my seat at the event.
Someone says “what is that?” in a playful way, pointing to my carrot juice. In the past I would have been self-conscious. But now I’m actually thriving off this attention. “It’s carrot juice.” I say simply. It’s something new and it creates a subtle mood boost. Now I’m unwrapping my sandwich and everyone is watching me eat. But it feels like a connected experience. Someone says “I couldn’t handle all that dressing.” It’s not an insult, there is a relaxed relational quality to her statement. Just by unwrapping a sandwich I’m helping to start conversations. It’s causing a pleasant change of topic.
Now someone is talking about what they want to dress up as for halloween. Instead of just using my intellectual brain, I’m visualizing the costumes as we talk. That helps me feel good, puts a smile on my face. There is a positive feed back loop happening. Someone sees my interest and says “Maybe we could all go as super-heroes.” I enjoy the idea and at the same time I think ‘perhaps I’m more of a samurai’. We take out our phones are are showing each others pictures of costume ideas. I notice this other girl is interested in an anime type thing I align with. Yet maybe I’ll still go with the super-hero thing if it turns out that’s more fun for the group. (from Biophotonic Being)