Shouting at Flowers

This post is about how to make flowers grow faster by reading motivational speeches to them, understanding how to apply the right amount of guilt and punishment, and ‘encouraging’ them to be more responsible and less lazy.          Ok lets be real.

The heart is like a flower. You can’t make a flower grow faster by shouting motivational speeches at it (basically human society in a nutshell), or by giving the flower discipline and punishment for its ‘misdeeds’ of inherently existing in this reality. Pointing out the flowers flaws and telling it to take a good long constructively critical look at itself.

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I am thinking about the concept of ‘watering the good seeds’ in my life. Like a garden! lol. Noticing what observations were the ‘most helpful’. And just noticing them and feeling good about it. the feeling helps me remember that things are safe and good. It is a habit to go into my mind for answers instead of trusting the feeling to remember what is important. the heart knows things. it has a knowledge to it. and it learns things, all the time, even when the brain isn’t thinking.

We humans think we are so different and superior from other animals. that our intelligence makes us different and above them, alienated from them. yet at core we are very similar. we are bonded to the same primal physical needs plants and animals have. we need the light, the out doors, the social connection, food and water. nourishment. kindness. trees aren’t giving motivational seminars to other trees about how to “evict their inner wussy.” we people are a lot like trees. If you aren’t in the sunlight, you grow in funny, you tend to accumulate a lot of doubts and worries and feel empty inside. it’s not your fault that you weren’t put in the sunlight. but people will judge you harshly as though this was your personal failure. Yet as a human we do have the option to pick ourselves up and re-plant ourselves in the sunlight. for a time i moved to California. because i realized i didn’t need to suffer any more, because i genially felt happier in the sunshine and heat and i could tell the people there felt happier too, like a multiplying effect. we don’t always have that choice to move to California. i had to move back. but we can still choose to spend more time ‘in the light’ in the places that make us feel good. don’t blame yourself for the bad things so much. no one ever ‘wants’ to be bad. think about what you need and how to bring more of it into your life.

I had this dream where one or two people I know who i think of as being ‘anxious’ kept coming by and removing things from my bead room or living room. In the first part my best friend kept purchasing potted plants and putting them in his living room. Then the anxious person would come by the ‘clean up’ there was a ‘busyness’ about it. They would remove the potted plant by some kind of misunderstanding that they were doing us a service, when in fact my friend just bought that and wanted it there. “She keeps taking my plants. this keeps happening.” he said. During the dream i wasn’t really aware that the person taking the plants was anxiety driven. during the dream i figured she had some kind of reason for doing it. In the next part of the dream i kept making drawing on big pads of paper like i had wanted too for some time. the drawings were turning out pretty well but this person came by and removing them for some reason. in the dream the  people were people much older then me, so they were like role models, i would figure that what they were doing was for an important purpose, like they were taking the plants and the art for some kind of important reason. Another layer to the psychology of it all. When in fact the people taking the plants were driven by anxiety and i didn’t make that observation until after i woke up.

Looking back on it after i woke up: These were people I identified a part of myself in them. the dream was about me and not them. but i won’t say that ‘all dreams are about you’, some dreams are very much about your relationships to society or other people or the events of the day. it’s not all your goddamn fault! the kind of negative self focus is a problem in society. this relentless self improvement effort. it become like a loop. trying harder. going nowhere. I’ve learned to be kinder to myself. I realized that when i got anxious i would start ‘problem solving’ in my mind, and that emotion and the thinking about it would effectively ‘remove’ positive observations i had already made in the previous days our hours. it was like going backwards, even though it felt like i was ‘being productive’ and ‘problem solving’, i was getting caught in the fear, removing positive emotions, forgetting to notice the good things i and improvements i had already made in the previous day. The anxious people were my anxious thoughts and feelings. the ‘cleaning up’ the ‘problem solving’ / ‘being productive’ was actually removing the flowers, the fruits of the previous day.

I have to water those positive seeds, those good observations about what is going right. to get out of the fear. to grow the good things in life. so those positive observations can seep down into my heart, and i can more forward in life as a choice my emotions have made, and not as a choice my brain is forcing me to do. My brain is sort of like my mom ‘forcing’ me to be more social. I’m noticing even when i force myself to do things all the time, the things i should ‘want’ to do, it seems like courage, but just becomes another kind of stress loop. stress under the guise of courage. you should force yourself to be with people all the time. you shouldn’t force yourself to have fun. at some point you have to be honest, i -want- to have fun, i -want- to feel connected to people. the wanting is a more powerful emotion. but the fear and the worry makes us afraid to just relax and want. sometimes relaxing is scary. because when we relax we notice more. our perception expands, we notice all kinds of scary things we weren’t even aware of when we were in the stress mode, busying though life on autopilot, when we really take a moment to relax and remember what that feels like in the heart, we notice more, the good and the bad and that in itself becomes scary. so we jump back up into the mind. not even noticing the reason why, and forgetting that we ever even found away into that better stronger state of being.

The anxious people in my dream were (like) my thoughts. it came from something real, something ‘out there’ that started right from the beginning perhaps, in the early years of growing up, and shaped something ‘in here’ in me. even though the thoughts were anxiety driven. I took them for something ‘important’ or ‘productive’ and this is in my waking life. not the dream any more. in that way my relationship to my thoughts was just like my relationship to the specific people in the dream. the thoughts were ‘older’ they had been around for a long time, a habit in me from the beginning i hadn’t even noticed could be different. i just figured it was the way reality was. but when something scary happens, i didn’t need to go into my brain and think about it. i can just let it roll off me. i don’t have to use logic to make sense out of fear feelings. that isn’t ‘being productive’. just because something has been ‘going on forever’ or ‘everyone is doing it’ doesn’t make it more right.

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(Naturally Social ‘hang out space’ Event) All people have passion. All people want something. it feels good to be healthy. addition is just a trauma symptom. there are hidden traumas everywhere effecting our behavior. it isn’t a ‘disease in the mind’. it’s a feeling. a feeling of not feeling safe with people. humans and other animals are a socially driven species, we learn to function on our own for long periods and even thrive temporary when removing ourselves form the community in a bigger way, but this is a trauma coping mechanisms, not true ‘thriving’.

Being part of the community is not the same as ‘conforming’ to all it’s pressures and abstract ideals. There is something to be said about being around others yet ‘holding on to yourself’. Maybe someone is talking to you a lot and won’t stop. it isn’t your responsibility to answer their every question. what matters is that you -feel- connected to people, a sense of ease and rhythm and flow in the group. that you could relax, laugh at a joke, look into someones eyes, the words quickly can become very distracting, we get caught into this race to become ‘smarter’ that is perpetuated by society and is a huge distraction blocking the way to the true simplicity of feeling of love and connection between people when we take time to relax with each other and allow them to flow.

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We can draw out this passion in all people, adults and children, but talking about it, complementing it, etc, asking about it, sharing out own passion leading by example to thereby encourage others to share theirs. just by existing int he world we encounter lots of pain, loneliness, emptiness, it all boils down to one word, ‘suffering’. you think you have to discipline and motivate your kids al the time on top of the suffering that already inherently exists in reality, the burden of just existing in this survival based universe / plane of existence. we criticize the defeated, the poor and the injured for not being ‘motivated’ enough to seeded in life and get rich and famous. the intention is wrong, the goal is wrong, the criticism is misplaced. lots of people fight against it. but the habit is too easy, it’s too old, we are used to fighting battles against ourselves and each other we don’t even need to fight. this physiological war of winning love and motivating ourselves to be better and smarter. Society has this way of teaching us, in a subliminal or subtextual way that we are ‘inherently bad’ or inherently at fault. we start assuming we are at fault or have made mistakes. the problems in our life seem ‘logical’ when they start as something emotional we have never even notices is there. when we don’t make peace with the ‘this is my fault’ emotion, we don’t let in the happiness, the rainbow river of positive emotions that flows between us and others, so therefore we never even know it is there. we never even know what is really feels like. so problems in life seem logical, we never notice this emotion that blocks our way to an even more powerful kind of connection then we thought was possible.

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The ‘autism’ thing never made sense to me, some doctor thought i was high functioning autistic? when i was 12? yet i noticed times when the shyness would just go away completely, and that i could get more connected just by looking for more of those ‘times’. the good times. I realize I had a lot of free reign when i was young, lots of time to think for myself and be creative, it was mind-expanding and thinking deeply about the universe relentlessly even as a child, i was fascinated and always learning….. i never had to deal with the strict discipline and conditioning some families had, free thinking was encouraged in my family…… so it was hard to accept the simplistic pigeon hole of mental illness. it never really made sense to me. if mental illness is a fixed condition in the brain, they why did it just totally vanish in certain situations? i was never convinced i was ‘ill’ in the brain, yet there this habit, it is trendy to convince people of my generation they have an illness. it seemed like everyone i knew had one. it was like candy.

Sometimes i felt like i was in a ‘cloud’ and other times i felt this potability for infinite love and connection, yet the ‘cloud’ really didn’t feel like a ‘mental dysfunction’ or something that was permanent, but i didn’t really know what it was that made me feel disconnected either. and slowly over time i felt more and more disconnected, I became ‘insecure’. As i grew older i became more set in the ways of society, earning approve for the love of peers, striving to prove myself to the larger community, to ‘get the girl’. trying to get ‘smarter’ to impress people, and on the flip side of it all was this fear that there was something wrong in my brain. They told me i was learning disabled too, in elementary school. Normally i don’t even bother mentioning this.. but it is relevant. They told me these things, I knew that wasn’t true, even though as a kid i was creating complicated fantasy novels, and stop motion movies, designing computer games, and doing all kinds of things. So I really questioned what i was told regarding my ‘brain’. It really made no sense. I used to be really concerned with proving people wrong, but that really is part of the problem, so i don’t even bother with it now. the people who believe these things aren’t the people i want to be around. Something made me shy away from people as a kid. But that wasn’t ‘mental illness’. That was such a creepy way to describe people. And that was the truth, every time ‘mental illness’ came up, it felt creepy as hell, it felt fake, and depressing, what were all these adults doing? Sitting in a room feeling depressed.

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The only thing we really need to worry about in life is putting food on the table. The love part, that should be the nourishment, the healing. Sometimes i can mean that we have to flip our perspective on life to see love as the food, the sustenance, the nourishment, and not as the thing we have to ‘strive’ to become, the final ‘enlightenment’ that will make us finally truly lovable. The enlightenment is right here. you are already enlightened. you have suffered enough. just by friggin existing in this reality. With all the confusion of it all. addition isn’t laziness. addiction is a trauma byproduct. Filling the void with food and pleasure, that really needs to be filled with love (human light emission, human energy). Selfishness isn’t greed. It’s trauma. All of it is trauma. That’s what our society doesn’t get. We are afraid to let the love in. As a species. It is too strange too massive and too simple to comprehend. How could so many struggle with something so simple, how could so many follow a misguided approval seeking pattern, because it’s the hive mind, it’s our connection, when we don’t know what to do we look to others for guidance, everyone is looking to someone else, know one knows that they are doing, but thought history this has created a massive and ongoing illusion that we all ‘know’ what we are doing. the head mentality. group think. hive mind.

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Trauma isn’t something you can simply talk people out of, you can’t mind your way out of it. Trauma is much stranger then we can know, love and healing have to be felt, experienced, we are all equals in this, we are discovering truth, not inventing truth. The teacher is the learner, the learner is the teacher. Children have feelings and questions they don’t understand because society itself doesn’t have the answers, yet instead of just dismissing the question of the child as childish, i try to always look at things with a fresh take, they see the world unclouded by habit, but children are far from perfect, yet they teach us things we have forgotten with time.

Trauma is strange, because reality itself is strange. For a while I hesitated a bit to use the word ‘trauma’ because that implies we ‘know’ what it really ‘is’ that gets in the way in life. Yet Trauma is a popular concept that is easy to understand and is becoming more popular than before so I fall back on it, and don’t want to go overboard with my radical theories about what ‘really’ gets in the way. trauma is something we are ‘ready’ as a culture to understand. yet still i find it too ‘mental’ and too ‘self’ or ‘individual’ focused, it take the focus off the community dynamic and how it effects us as individuals, and off the fact that we -physically- exist in reality and are constantly effected by this, it puts us into the mind and keeps us looking inwards for our ‘faults’ to too great an extent, the same old dilemma, like a decent step up from ‘mental illness’, yet the word ‘trauma’ is a good starting place. It gets us a bit out of the ‘mental’ and more into the ’emotional’. Society as a whole is ready to ‘grok’ the concept of ‘trauma’ and that it exists beyond traumas of injury, trauma can also be from emotional injury and it is important to recognize both. and accept that you can be traumatized even when nothing goes ‘wrong’, because it is equally traumatic when nothing goes truly ‘right’ in your life, as is the case for many. Yet if i were to find a word for what really gets in the way of connection… i might upgrade it further to something like… Ok i haven’t decided yet, but fun to think about. Well i have one idea, but it is way to radical, so we will stick with this for now. Understanding Trauma has put me further in the right direction, getting into the emotions more.

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“If you could eliminate certain outside frequencies that interfered with our bodies, we would have greater resistance toward disease.” – Nikola Tesla

It’s hard to really ‘know’ the Universe, but when we group up in fear that we can’t find love and purpose in the greater community, that we can’t attract the love we want, that is trauma, we don’t think it is, we just call it, being an ‘awkward dork’, but it is, fearing we don’t belong is so unconscious, yet it gets in the way, we don’t even notice we are doing it, getting in our own way, it is instinctive, it goes deep into the emotions, and it isn’t really about the mind or the brain in a significant capacity enough though society is constantly telling us it is. it isn’t your fault for not trying harder. it’s the opposite. When i talk about Trauma i don’t want to get into that all to deep rut or pitfall of saying, “all the problems are in your mind” and you can do anything if you just have the right “mentality” this gets us sucked back up into the mind, when I talk about trauma i am really talking about emotional trauma. one way to release  is you process the past emotionally. that ’emotional’ part is key. it isn’t like a science project or a mathematical equation. emotions aren’t logical, yet they effect everything we can do. you have to feel what heeling the emotional feels like, only you can to that.

Trauma isn’t just in the past. Some psycho therapy can get really focused on the past to the exclusion of the present. The past has it’s values, we hold on to it in our emotions, and don’t even resize it, just taking time to notice feelings we are holding on to has this way of shedding light on them, and soundly there is this deep body’ release’ we just let it go, just by noticing it, we feel a shift.

Trauma can be very ‘on going’ in life, and i feel this gets overlooked, it is often happening right now. the trauma is continually ‘renewed’, ‘refreshed’ in a lonely and stressed out world. Every moment is new, and we relive the dark times. life is harder then we give it credit for being. Just existing can be hard. And that’s why having ‘fun’ isn’t ‘lazy’, it’s important to take all the fun you can get. yet have it in a healing way that connects you to people and the things that matter, not fun as  away of escaping the things that scare you, fun to fill a void never full. it should feel like the fun is lifting you higher. it isn’t just about what you are doing. often the intention is the most important part. healing is on going and not just about the past. feeling disconnected is traumatic, the trauma becomes on going because you are always disconnected when you get in that cycle, you can’t just ‘let go’ of the trauma without also ‘letting in’ the love. the light. the energy. this part often feels like it gets left out for me. We get really good at ‘letting go’ of things, us spiritual seekers, yet we also need to ‘let in’ the love, if there was an absence in our lives. When you talk about trauma as this ‘thing in the mind’ and forget the heart-love part of it, the people part, it gets very mental and circuital. WE focus a lot on the individual person when talking about trauma, it gets deeply psycho analytic and takes years and decades and life times, it’s all on you and your personal barriers that you personally individually need to overcome if you do enough deep processing work no yourself over the years…….. yet trauma is also largely and significantly a group phenomena that is ongoing in this very moment, and when you shift it in the entire group it can shift very quickly. your energy is connected to the energy of everyone else in the room. we are like these beacons of energy, these receives, we are community creatures. When you change the energy of the group decades of on going generational trauma aka deep unconscious emotional fear (emotional fear responses to social and group situations) can be shifted, it gets straight to the emotion, and shy shut don’t people open up, because they -feel- the vibrations of the group, and only the group love can create that vibration. one on one is ok, but years of relating to people and working through the problems one on one takes out an essential part of the equation. we are a group animal. and group healing shifts everything. when everyone in the group wants to heal and be vulnerable and talk about love and self love, that’s when big healing happens, you just don’t get there one on one. Even just remembering times when i was part of a group or community that valued ‘self love’ those times i really felt connected, and just the memory has be a guide to help me find that in myself, to reach out and recreate that kind of self love community atmosphere.

It took me a long time to accept this , but finally i decided i had suffered enough, it became too obvious too keep ignoring it, as much as i feel afraid of gathering, all the best times in my life had been during large gatherings. the reason i failed to see it, failed to accept it, was because i was making life unnecessarily complicated for myself. the truth was simple. the group itself was healing. it didn’t matter so much who is was talking to our how i was trying to connect with them, just being there and enjoying it was what really mattered, time and time a gain, i saw this was true. i was afraid that by becoming a more social person i would become exhausted and i wouldn’t have time or energy to write books, do the creative things that were a real driving passion in my life, i was afraid that to break my social boundaries i would have spend even more time being social, at one point i stopped even allowing myself to be alone… yet this was just anything over compensation for something. when i first started to experience ‘getting high’ on the social vibes of life, the good kind of high, i started to ‘flip the other way’ from introvert to extrovert. to rely on this social energy all the time. yet this lead to a crash.

I was forgetting an important part of myself, the passion, the art, the creativity. in my big quest to be charismatic and get the girl, ironically i left out something important, the valuable that all those ‘nerdy’ ‘social isolation’ activities acutely brought to my life. i saw it as the problem. but the art way my passion. what i need was BOTH. the people, and the fun, the strange personal private fun that was hard to fully communicate sometimes. every strange creative little thing that made me happy. all that wasn’t a distraction it was part of my spiritual quest, my human quest. all that alone time creative stuff was a major place of passion and healing that also connected me to others because it made me happy and witty and funny. There are many sources of energy in life. Now i do anything and everything that makes me happy. there isn’t any one thing that summarized my routine. My life is variety itself. Variety is the healer. I do different things not because i ‘know’ it will ‘work’ and connect me to people, but because it ‘feels’ good, and the feeling connects me to people. Everything becomes vastly less complicated when you let your feeling be your guide, your compass, your radar. it is all to common to undervalue the power of the heart and the power of feeling in our modern fast passed productive mind driven world of ambitious thinkers and noble strives. We are always getting better and stronger.

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Society is trying to heal your trauma, yet it is also creating it. it is all very confusing. maybe you should take a nap. Take a break from all these mixed messages. LOL.

Society wants us to heal, yet at the same time it is trying to hurry you back onto that peer validated ‘productivity’ track. helping you to let go of shit quick so you can get back to work folding letters and packaging boxes or waiting tables or something. It’s time to ‘achieve’. “Have you done anything productive today?” My friends mom asks her every day, she looks exhausted. And the follow up question from my deep soul self, “who cares!!??”

We do what we have to do, work is work, we go to work, make a buck, but you won’t heal if you become too ‘familiar’ with that ‘exhausted’ feeling in life.

That’s how it was for me, life was just fundamentally exhausting and sucky. even in the exhausting lame situations that you can’t avoid you have to focus on the good, the energy, the fun, and start to see that there is something really consistently good in the world. it helps knowing other people have it, and i think i was always unconsciously instinctively modelling those other people, even now, often they themselves may not know ‘how they do it’. it is more important to feel it then to know it. joy and success is like this feedback loop established over time. but it is more then ‘mentality’ it is more then the ‘mental’, the synaptic firings in your mind. healing and positive momentum in life is very emotion based, feeling based. often we talk ourselves out of feeling the feelings. we became ourselves. argue with ourselves. be the feeling is deeper then all that. it’s not your fault. feelings aren’t logical. the mind is logical. you can’t logic your way out of trauma. You just have to notice how you feel. It sounds almost too obvious. but it takes time and practice.

Exhaustion becomes so normal to people like me, that we don’t even really know what feelings feel like and they way they guide us to where the energy and power of life is. When you are really getting more and more into your feelings, they become like this compass, like this radar that leads you to where the energy and connection is in life, and you don’t even have to think that much. It’s like you life is powered by this internal magnet. and that’s what love is, it’s magnetic. It becomes so normal.. just forcing ourselves to do things all the time, we think it is ‘admirable’ yet when you create momentum with your feelings by enjoying all little things in life, that momentum carries you, and then you don’t have to constantly ‘tell yourself and ‘make yourself’ do things. life gets easier, and people treat you with more respect. it is a win win. and the other way is a lose lose. yet even people are in this ‘lose lose’ place life they need our kindness and not our criticism. the criticism is already alive and well in the minds of these people, yet the outside world is always here to provide more of it somehow. the criticism and ‘identification’ of problems … becomes the problem itself. the ‘shouting at flowers’ phenomenon. a flower is just a flower. if it doesn’t get enough light and droops over, that doesn’t mean it has ‘mental illness’. A complex neural problem of the flower that has gone wrong permanently in it’s flower brain. It doesn’t have flower autism. or flower schizophrenia. It doesn’t have restless flower syndrome, to be cured with some kind of an inorganic chemical in the shape of a pill with a fancy name like “abilify”. It’s just a goddamn flower. Stop reading into things. Stop projecting problems. You just have to keep watering those good seeds, being grateful for the things that make you happy in life day by day. that creates momentum. magnetism.

The fear, we don’t even notice we have it, but it is an instinct that gets in the way around people, we mimic what the group is doing, and we prevent ourselves from really ‘feeling’ the group vibe, enjoying the vibes, socializing becomes a type of ‘productivity’ we discuss how we can self improve and get better as individuals and people. but there is a subtle underlying stress behind it. not everyone does this, but even those who are truly comfortable don’t always notice how much anxiety is driving society itself. it is so all pervasive, so everywhere. we are afraid to challenge it. it doesn’t have to be a rebellion. it can be as simple as having self kindness and gratitude for the good things. the big ambitions in life are noble, yet they are top heavy, they make us exhausted and actually bring us down sometimes. the fear cuts us off from feeling our other emotions, like in the heart, and the emotions are what tap us into the energy, the energy the group emits, and the energy of our own creative feedback loops, the energy that connects us to the sunlight, plants animals and people around us. the vibes, enjoying the simple things, the colors of your room. this hidden fear mode, that resides in the instinctive ‘herd’ (the bonds of our animal emotional nature) cuts people off from the energy. but shifting it can be very simple the moment you start to notice it. so much of healing is as simple as ‘noticing’ things. but it can feel like stepping into another dimension. it is almost too simple, too easy to accept that life could be like this at first. when you are used to the harder way, earning love and success by being constantly relentlessly ‘productive’. a lot of it has to do with how we relate to people. you can’t really heal the trauma by being alone too long. whatever problems happen in your life, you can’t let it convince you you aren’t worthy of being around people. even when you are injured and broken, you still are connected to the love of people. we are a social species. that is how we ‘harness light energy’ we have evolved this way. because human together are like batteries, we circulates this energy, like some kind of massive organic power plant. it is very simple and effective. yet we grow up learning that attracting people is all about the ‘skills’ you have learned mentally. we live life on this ‘verbal’ demon, i can’t stand to be around people who are so ‘verbal’ and doesn’t seem to read any emotions, even the most obvious ones, yet this is the kind of person society produces. we think people want to laugh at our clever jokes, and are inspired by our brilliant statements, but the energy is even more attractive, even more healing.

Spirituality tells us that we can ‘earn’ this energy if we do lots of yoga, mediation, dieting, working out, if we really are fully devoted… yet this has a way of becoming another system of control. it is the same thing all over again. ‘productivity’. again i had to let go of all that. and get back to the simple truth. how do i feel about people. it was hard to understand at first. it seems like we are ‘independent’ units. but it took me a long time to realize that humans thrive in groups, it seems almost obvious now. it feels hard to think of yourself as ‘needing’ other people to be happy. but when you make the choice to seek groups of people more often, if you were someone like me who didn’t go to gatherings every often, you will ‘feel it’, you feel that the flow of energy is ‘natural’ and it is different then ‘neediness’ or ‘consumption’.

It isn’t neediness because you are with others, but you stay connected to yourself, you get into your body and the emotions, and out of all the mental stuff of trying to understand others minds, the competitiveness of it all, the rat race, you feel emotions and relax, and the feeling is attractive and healing. you think about what makes you happy, and that in and of itself becomes attractive, it becomes a starting place for more. Socializing is like watering plants, you grow a bit at a time, you water the good seeds, water the good thoughts, and they bare fruit and flowers. People who work too hard all the time start to look malnourished, they shrivel up, the stress isn’t natural, it feels predictable, yet notice what relationships in your life are ‘productivity based’ if you feel you need to accomplish things all the time before you can speak to someone, maybe the health value of that relationship is something to question. for some this is the only way we learn and know how to relate. it is ok to want to be friends with someone just because they make you feel calm. when you feel calm, the other person feels it too, that you are becoming more natural and connected.

the irony of it all is that people work to hard and shrivel up and feel exhausted and crash and feel lonely and don’t even know there is another modality of being in the world, a different way to ‘relate’ to the universe itself, with people and when alone. this kind of doing ‘whatever’ nourishes your emotions and feeling at any moment, this constant, heeling the feelings mode of being. it is done together and alone. it has to be both. we are a social species yet you don’t have to be constantly around people to be happy, that also becomes another system of control, a compensation mechanism for not knowing you to just ‘be with yourself’. that is also very healing. it is healing ‘creativity’. for a whole different kind of reason. socializing is very energizing for me, yet being on my own is deeply relaxing, and gives me time to cultivate this different kind of creative independence that is hard to do if you are afraid to be on your own.

You start to ‘feel’ that being around the group is the natural way, because the energy flows through you. if you don’t plug in your phone it runs out of battery. we are nothing but strange creatures floating on a big rock in space. we adapt by harnessing energy. more people = more energy. it isn’t wrong to just soak it up. to just party your way to happiness. addition is the byproduct of trauma. when the fear is gone, you see that ‘fun’ is not an indulgence, society tells us to work for love, but there is a much bigger epidemic to heal, all the productivity is not making the world better, there is so much emotional healing that needs to happen, and what we call ‘bring productive’ becomes like this anxious distraction, from the real pain, the lack of feeling like we matter in the community, to each other. You can give yourself permission to enjoy life. even when it seems almost like everyone is telling you not to. because healing yourself and feeling more healthy and vibrant is the most effective healing to others to. leading by example. and doing this isn’t as easy as it sounds, because it means face fear, letting go of what we don’t need, the stress, the attachments, not just letting go but letting in the love. you matter. you are awesome. Saying that to yourself. Saying it to others.  There is so much pain out there, yet it has this way of becoming totally invisible. people who are too disabled to work are forced to, people are sick or emotionally traumatized, but society tells them they have an ‘illness in the brain’ and call it ‘autism’. the rich treat the poor like they are unmotivated drug addicts, when really no one has it harder. You learn that suffering is your fault. if you are not happy it is your fault. it sounds like a motivation speech. Motivational speech GONE WRONG. Motivational speech GONE SEXUAL. just kidding. that’s a youtube joke. Ironically it is joy that is a major healer to the pain. Joy allows us to see things more clearly. Not telling people to force joyfulness and block out the sadness and bad things. but having kindness for the struggles of life. the invisible struggles. there are so many disabilities that you can’t even see with your eyes. and many others who are healthy enough still end up living life in a kind of loop, because you feel like you are not good enough, and it becomes a cycle. you start invalidating yourself. assuming others don’t want to talk to you, and you miss the real reason. sometimes people really just are busy and it isn’t your fault. when you keep going for the love and the joy, it becomes a positive feedback loop. and this is courageous. it feels good, and it is like partying for life, yet is is also a path of great courage.

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There are greedy people out there. there are people out there who abuse power. yet we choose to put them in power. a massive part of our population votes for them and supports their power. because that massive prat of the population is acting out of trauma. Ignorant people will ride that wave and use it to get rich and powerful. but the true problem isn’t the one dictator, or the criminal, the figure head, or the bad villain man, it is the massive amount of emotional trauma in the way people relate with each other, the loneliness, the projection of our inner emptiness onto the outside world in the form of hate and fear. that ‘Hitler’ that ‘bad man’ on the top, is like a distraction of sorts, a straw man / you might call him a scapegoat of sorts, he is propped up by countless people who want to feel connected and alive and purposeful -through- him. we want that shared sense of purpose, so we elect someone who makes us feel connected, we feel connected when we all rally together over something. even if that something is racism. or a chronic drive to become smarter and better. It could be money. School. Business.

There are all kinds of things we do to feel safe, to give us an ‘excuse’ to ‘belong’ around other space. Even spirituality. Spirituality is not an exception. It starts off as this amazing blessing in our lives, to take on some form of a spiritual practice.. but soon it is another system of control, we accept this is the best it will get and get into a rhythm, a comfort zone with thousands of others and stop searching beyond the routine for answers and freedom.

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(Voldemorts last dying soul in the fetal position on the left represents the condition of the ‘heart’ in an overthinking brain productive world)

Schooling makes us feel connected, yet makes us feel like we need to score A grades all the time or even A+ to be really of significance, to have ‘social worth’ to others, and that is totally upside-down as to how people really connect. it becomes a habit, thinking we need to study hard and be smarter all the time just to have social value to others. Relaxation makes us feel connected. yet we rely on these ‘pseudo communities’, these ‘excuses‘ to connect. The excuse connects us. Yet it is also a distraction, because it keeps us afraid, afraid to connect without the ‘excuse’. I have friends because i have drug buddies. I have friends because I have drug recover buddies. I have friends because of work. I have friends because i met them at college and earned their recognition by proving myself as a smart funny person…….. etc, etc. it gets problematic.

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It’s time to take love off the ‘pedestal’. Many people less qualified and way more goofy and misguided then you have an abundance of love and success in their lives, just look around, the love and it is freely available to them. if you struggle, it’s not because you aren’t good enough. many people radiate light, and have success and respect while only trying half as hard as you are already trying. many less talented and less awesome people then you have more love in their lives. shatter the illusion. love isn’t something to strive for and battle for and stress out about. it is right here. that said, it isn’t obvious. but over time, you can shift the momentum, create the feedback loop of love. you may not be the next Jesus, but if you start on a much smaller level, this way is still much easier then thinking earning the love needs to be a complex task. water the good seeds. find the love though harnessing the natural subtle energies of your body. creativity. kindness. honesty. the little things. the big ambitions crush us. miss herp and mr. derp don’t worry about big ambitions, they just love all the time because it feels good. yet this is the most powerful way to make a difference in the world and cultivate the things you want over time.

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We don’t need a ‘reason’ to connect. You don’t need a  ‘reason’ to want to walk up and talk to someone. Or to simply smile at someone. because the reason is love. Societies keeps us thinking we needs reasons to reach out. that there is something more important and more healing then being around people. It isn’t even just about the talking, it isn’t that essential to walk up to strangers and talk at them relentlessly to ‘break’ some kind of inner ‘mental limit’ as I so tried many times. But it is important to feel connected. it isn’t easy, but it could be. Sometimes it feels like the easy way is the only way. so i find ways to make it easier. We have a kind of ‘stranger complex’ in America or maybe even across the world. Everyone is a fellow human. We tend to fear strangers and people we don’t know, they could be up to no good, they could be insidious shady perverts, or they could be — ‘so good’ — that we don’t even deserve to look at them.. etc, then we are the ‘stranger’. We ‘stranger’ ourselves out of the picture. Other animals have simple minds, they don’t fear each other. They just do things as a group. They act together. Migrate together. Feel together. Herp derp. It is important not to be brainwashed though in to doing whatever people say is right, this can be a tricky distinction, be around others, yet notice the instinct to ‘copycat’ them, don’t mimic every single thing they do just to be cool or garner respect in society, first really think about if it feels right and value to you. Don’t be afraid to go agnist what you are told. the ‘assumptions’ we all make.

You can just ‘be’ around the group and feel your own emotions and unique creative happy thoughts and ‘not’ subscribe to any kind of complex ideology or peer pressure. it takes time to feel into what that even means. to do it your own way, yet still make a choice to be around people. i always got the ‘do it your own way’ prat. i know i felt 100x happier when i thought for myself, but i didn’t get, what i didn’t get, was that i could still do this, be my unique creative self, while around people. i was afraid that being around others meant loosing myself. school felt boring, too much dry information, too much stillness, to many long hours. i lost myself in the mundanity of it all. yet being at home all day with mom clearly wasn’t the answer either. hiding a way in personal passions. visiting a friend now and then, yet not being part of a bigger ‘group’.

You can go to school, be around a larger group, and still find times to ‘have fun’. You have to create the fun. Even just as a thought. It doesn’t have to be anything big, bold, stressful and courageous all the time. Fun can be as simple as it sounds. Just think about what you like. that changes your vibe. changes how you feel. you can be goofing off internally and the teacher will never know it, they will feel your joy and love you for it and know that you are a good attentive student even when you are just thinking about something like “cartoons” or “people you are attracted to” or “art projects” like 70% of the time. The courage to have fun and enjoy yourself in little ways. That can change the world.

We humans and or complex minds, create much to be afraid of. And all that becomes an excuse to disconnect. Even if you are talking to people yet afraid of what they are thinking all the time, that is a kind of disconnection, it makes you exhausted, makes you want to run back to something else that ‘feels good’, what if connection could ‘feel good’, what if ‘feeling good’ was the primary reason to do it. It wasn’t always so obvious to me.

Animals don’t make things so complicated, a herd of cows isn’t trying to raise their kids to be the next ‘baby Einsteins’ or get straight A’s to beat out their other classmates, so that they can ultimately beat out other nations in the great race for SCIENCE and advancement. Animals know how to just be. Maybe technology isn’t about getting better and smarter and making the next mind blowing complex innovation, maybe even human tech can be used to help us get more in touch with nature and ourselves. a natural technology. other animals don’t think as much as we do. it is a gift, yet it also gets profoundly in the way. Animals just gather and follow their feelings. They aren’t driven by different religions and schools of thought and prejudiced, they just gather and chill. Herp. Derp.

Getting in touch with that inner ‘animal’ you is grocery underrated. The ‘animal’ means your instincts feelings, natural social impulse to just be goofy and laugh and look at people, to think about simple things that fill you with excitement). Stuff that isn’t really about the brain. Feeling raw emotion. feelin it and feelin it. I always used to think and think about how to get women to like me. For many years it plagued me. Finally… i just stared to see myself as an ‘animal’ of sorts, like a dog just chilln with the other dogs. I imaged it like this. that’s how it felt. dropping the intellect. it was almost like being ‘naked’. It felt like i was lying to people, smiling at them, without having anything interesting planned to say, without using my brain practically at all… but they just smiled right back. and i was like ‘hey!’ this is way the hell easier then what i was doing before. i just just smile to people and listen to them talk and say very little, yet i feel connected. Dogs don’t worry about weather they are good enough, they just run right up to people. They don’t worry about there ‘intellectual contribution’ to the global conversation. they have an emotional contribution, just by existing. even in there final moments when death and illness take them, they keep trying to stand up, keep going for the love. because it just feels right for them. I’ve learned a lot from lust looking at animals. Keep things simple. And girls like that. I am true to my emotions. I can be an intellectual. But i do things first and foremost because it feels right. A moth doesn’t need an ‘excuse’ to go to the lamp, it just goes to the light.

Natural Synergy healing with sound and acupuncture “click for video”
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“In every culture and medical tradition before ours, healing was accomplished by moving energy” – Albert Szent-Györgyi (1937 Nobel Prize for Medicine)

9 Varieties of Play

The 9 play varieties are: move, music, chat, feel, art, imagine, touch, random, suspense. Rather these are the fun ‘nicknames’ I have given them. We will explore all of the categories of play in depth and how they relate to each other. You can categorize play types in many ways, I chose this way to show how different play types relate and intersect. Play types are all different patterns of energy as perceived through different senses.

Each play variety has ‘flavors’ within that type. like red, blue, green, or fast, slow, jittery, or happy, sad, reminiscent. Normally I don’t think about play varieties while I am playing, I don’t categorize them, yet it can help to be aware of it before hand, like you have to plan or set up an environment where play can happen, you plan to not plan, that’s the sort of paradox or zen of it. it’s about taking it in, and then trusting your subconscious to do it all without having to think about it.

9 Varieties of PlayThese categories are just base categories, like primary colors, there are countless secondary categories or even new categories you can create by combining and modifying the different play types. I’ve included many subcategories of play also. I numbered the play varieties to give them emphasis, but they have no order.

Attributes of Play

Before we start, these are some characteristics of play itself that apply to all types of play.

Play is an activity done primarily for enjoyment, yet can have huge productive and creative benefits. It’s about doing what contributes to our personal feeling of enjoyment much more then it is about impressing others with the most clever joke. And allowing the subtle energy of my enjoyment to become a force that benefits others too.

Play often involves something new, or something you haven’t done for a period of time. Play involves variety, more then repetition. Or even a new twist on something done before.

Play can be random. It needs no linear order or logic. Play usually involves a degree of randomness, choosing between equally appealing options for the sake of creative freedom and being unique. The freedom to be random is a big one we often lose sight of, allowing ourselves to be random liberates us, frees our natural need for movement in this moment we can’t take time to calculate or predict.

Play has a harmony or rhythm. It has many different ‘notes’ or actions, yet occasionally they will repeat, or return to a theme, to familiar ‘notes’ to from a ‘harmony’. a sense of familiarity. This is because play is constructive, not pure destructive chaos, it has an organic order or resonance.

Play involves two or more people or objects interacting. Person with person, person with object, person with person with object, etc.

Play is collaborate and constructive more then it is competitive or destructive.

Play builds into an energetic flow, play produces energy, and the benefit of this flow increase the longer it continues without interruption.

People and objects in our universe that do not play or move for too long will lose energy.

9 Varieties of Play

1) Move

dance

walking

running

travling

slipping

sliding

jumping

skip

frolic

stretch

bend

2) Music, 

a sequence of sounds that repeat and vairry to from a melodic harmony, going all the way from the particle level, to creating waves of energy large enough to be heard by our ears and felt by multiple senses.

3) Chat, 

language

communication

code

representation

symbols

geometry

sequence

imagination

think

ponder

‘chat’ is the cutesie nickname i give it, but the meaning of this type of play is language and music. the word ‘chat’ implies a relaxed conversation. puzzles and games are similar in that they involve many combinations, like a code that can be put together in many ways, symbols that represent physical things and abstract concepts, the gateway to imagination.

Puzzle.

games, card games, video games. using constraints can actually add to the freedom of the play experience in a paradoxical way. like creating ‘suspense’ makes the reward better often. games are a mixture of what i call puzzle, compete, and suspense play. there is some kind of specific objective and props involve that take it different places, produces a different experience then a conversation might go where the only limit is imagination. the quality of having different types of constrains, different rules, and different objectives is what makes each game fun and interesting.

Letting Loose

Much of our human lives are already constrained with limits like gravity, or mortality, needing to eat sleep and work, so often we just want more time to let loose without rules, so that is why we have the other forms of play.

Imagine, to simulate reality or fantasy possibilities inside ones mind, believe it or not i find the mind can simulate and stimulate all these senses from inside itself, meaning, when the heart has absorbed enough energy, the mind can be like a virtual reality machine, creating experiences that feel almost repeal inside itself, like a dream, but with practice you can control your dreams, or even create something similar while you are awake. the power of imagination is a great tool for simulating reality, and it also has the power to imagine beyond reality, to explore things that ‘could be’ gaining types of freedom you body may not have.

Work Play/ Purpose Play, the play of making chores, the work you have to do (to keep society running) into fun, so you can enjoy them more and get through them easer, with energy to spare so you can enjoy the play of your choice afterward. in addition it’s always good to question which work you really do need to keep society running, and what is just ‘collective unconscious’ patterns of ‘false knowledge’ humans repeat in fear of not knowing what to do with their free time. this is a huge topic i will talk more about later. most ideally you can turn your work into your passion / vise versa, so the activities you love most are the activities that most benefit the world, that way you become like perpetual motion, creating and innovating in the world actually gives you energy, so you keep creating more and don’t run out (until your like 100 years old lol)

4) Take In, 

feel, witness

feelings sensations and energy inside the body usually sparked by an outside person place thing, or a thought or another feeling inside the body itself. also sparked by visuals, sounds, smells, etc.

internal

receiving

taste

smell

visual

enjoying all the types of energies and sensations that happen inside your body while you play, often prompted by inspiration / sensation from the outside world, or also can be purely internal at times (like when you dream or close your eyes and ponder/feel)

this is the play of witnessing something, an event, a person, a thing, a place, a flower, a tree, the natural beauty of life and the world.. too often witnessing is seen as purely passive or uninvolved, witnessing is not given credit for the amount of activity that happens inside the body as we witness something that touches us emotionally. witnessing if a fundamental and underrated play type, that allows us to relax and receive energy for a change in a world that gets stuck in the mode of producing and giving, to point of self sacrifice. in witnessing or ‘take in’ play we receive and nourish the energies and needs of the body. take in play happens in conjunction with all the other types of play, we play with our bodies, interacting with the external world, and we feel something inside our bodies as we do this. and both the external and internal energetic reactions flow in and out together in a harmony, it is important that both happen together or felt in back and froth. often we get too focused on one or the other, just navel gazing internal reflection, or external people pleasing with a loss of our own emotions and relaxed self. we need to find the rhythm of both.

take in play is important, a huge category that is often overlooked, because it happens inside the body on an energetic level where our eyes can’t see it, it is primarily felt. and it is not selfish, it is essential in listening to people, fully ‘taking in’ what they are saying, and in our own well being. as they say ‘love yourself to love others’. this helps give a bit more description about the meaning of that phrase. play for me shows me ‘how’ to love myself. as well as receiving light energy, like sunlight, and biophotons, or residual human energy.

5) Random Play: so often play has totally random origin, and this is essential. we wait, hours days and life times we wait, just for someone to tell us what to do. why won’t my dreams come true yet? maybe in 5 more years that girl will go out with me. no. it will never happen. the big secret is you don’t have to wait a single moment. when you use the right portion of randomness to grow your play, you can create fun right out of thin air. the fabric of our universe, at the base level everything is quantum foam, a random dance of wild vibrating particles. i like the phrase ‘wild compassion’ because i see living beings as being part ‘wild’ part ‘compassion’. half animal, half angel. the ‘wild’ is the martial side. life is a constant flood of random material information, chaos. yet all these random disorganized things in life can be converted into vital meaningful energy as though with the snap of your fingers. you just have to see it as -play-. it rains, i can tell a story about something good that happened to me in the rain. i see a picture on the wall, it reminds me of a weird girl i half dated, that improves my mood. better play is often intentional, basket balls that are carefully crafted to be basket balls for just the right bounce and light weight touch for the game. but as you play basket ball, all the random factors, the force of the wind, the sunlight, effect the ball, effect your mood, it’s random, but it is also meaningful, because no 2 games are the same, each day is full of subtly different factors, putting you in a position that you have to adapt each day, for a different experience of the game of life. instead of seeing random events as a hindrance, i see it as something that will give a new twist to my day or week, make it unlike any other. that that variety fuels my energy in the long run. without all that random different stuff going on in the universe, the day gets boring, and we all actually lose energy! sometimes all you have to do is control things less, and fun just starts appearing out of no where! it wants to happen. it can be scary at first not to plan everything, but when you learn to go with the fun opportunities that appear, you see that they have a rhythm, and unseen yet real energy field, a safety net that holds you in them, in the experience of play and the magnetic joining of people. when you can’t think of anything to say, but it feels like silence isn’t right either, you go with random. we think random is meaningless. yet it is actually -essential-, is what so many people never get. randomness is the makeup of the universe, and randomness is great fun! when there is a moment that feels missing something, whenever there is, I go with something random, it comes from somewhere, maybe something reminded me of it, maybe it was something we were talking about an hour ago, a day ago, maybe it’s something cool I was waiting for a good time to mention, it can get more basic, random colors, random feelings, focusing on something fresh in your mind feels good, it’s whatever pops into my mind, something around me probably made me think of it, but it’s not important that I know that, now that I have it, I feel a little better, and I turn it into part of the conversation, something slightly related to previous topics, or a totally new topic, (remember the alternative is not thinking of anything to say at all when you may really want to) it doesn’t have to be something all that smart, often the best roots of creativity and connection between people are simple, basic, a simple feeling, being captivated by a color, a sound, a few notes of music, something pleasant. energy is simple, but our eyes can’t see wave energy, so we always overlook it! we need it. now that you have this new random thing in your mind, see if you can speak it some how.

Variety: all the forms of play are all about variety, the play of switching between different flavors, colors, etc, and the play of switching between different types of play.

Layered play: the play of combining and recombining different types of play.

the most sophisticated multilayered kind of play. this play is about the many layers.this is the play of evolved minds, the play of humans. the play of many layers.

Surprise: play is all about something new, something different something fresh. the play of the unexpected. just by enjoying one thing, it means you are not doing something else, and thus you are creating distance and time for that other thing to feel new and different again. while you are at the mall.. you are enjoying yourself there, and forgetting the sensations of being on the beach.. so when you finally get back to the beach, it really feels like a fresh and different experience, because you are not their every hour or every day. knowing this helps because i know if i get board of a particular activity, all i have to do is leave it for a few hours, a few days, do something else, and when i come back, that activity I love will be fun again, i will have fresh reined love for it. too often we live life in a melancholy wondering why things that used to make us happy don’t any more. It’s because we find one thing we love, and then we sap the ‘play value’ out of it by doing it too long. we don’t alternate our activities enough for the sake of enjoyment. we get addicted to the specific ’material’ of something, because we don’t understand the varieties of play, and how to use the act of play to create energy from ourselves and all things. take note of the thing you love, then find something different, then come back to the first thing, then try the first think in different ways. always recombining different things and ways of playing in different ways.

6) Art,

see,

aesthetic

location of things, color, often visual, contrast, variety, balance, the aesthetically pleasing and organize location of objects and furniture in space helps the flow of energy. just as a beautiful painting that conveys emotion is more pleasing and uplifting then a splotch of mud. Even art that appears random often has an emotion it conveys, stimulating the play and sensory feeling circuits inside the body of those who witness the art. art is a visual language, and a language of physical objects and gestures, which our eyes can see. while music is a language of sound, unseen to the eye, yet just as powerful. looking at a painting, taking in the beautifully of a landscape, this is the play of ‘art’. It’s important to set up your house to have an aesthetic just as you would paint a painting, or write a article in a way that catches the readers interests.

Object Play: playing with things, objects, toys, props, dolls, play weapons. play objects also become a focal point for attention and energy and play possibilities even before or weather or not you pick them up. play usually tends to involve and interaction with an object of some kind, or the environment, so this is an attribute that applies to most varieties of play, that play involves objects, play is an interacting between things and people, or people and people.

7) grow/Empower, Suspense

spending, healing, the play of changing the world. bringing cultural change to large places.

possibly a sub category of ‘move’ because it relates to distance. suspense details with much longer distances that move.

all play emerges from a dormant or suspended state, released from the fabric of the universe that binds it.

manifesting empowerment in people can be seen as the act of sharing skills that release ‘suspense’ or tension.

we are all born into some degree of suspension or tension and fulfillment in life is learning the ways to release that tension. however counterintuitively the tension itself is what created the joy of release.. while often their is an imbalance or surpluss of tension in our world, there are times when we do want to crease suspense, like the suspense of the journey that builds to a desertion, the suspense in a game, a mystery, a good tv show. simply creating suspesen or delay adds to the reward or unveiling later on. it creates depth and dimension. this is the mysterious play, the spiritual experience, the rewarding feeling at the end of a long long journey you didn’t think you could survive. the play we don’t see, the illusive, the chills of transformation experience, touching the divine. it is the play of shadows, of challenge, pushing the limits. empowerment is the opposite or the release of suspense, yet the two may actually create eachtoehr if you look beyond the universe itself. a person wise beyond this world might say taking a wound, is, being empowered.

our universe is not a ’neutral zone’ and can be considered a giant dome of ‘suspense play’. everything is a challenge that tests our limits. a quest for survival and to discover the mysteries of life. we are so used to this subtle challenge that pulls on us that we don’t realize it is there. very real challenges pull on us every day. calling it ‘suspense play’ is a kind way of putting it. there may be other universe where this isn’t so. you could say we are suspended beneath a heavy piece of anti-matter. our universe is a suspense dome that spans 46.5 billion light-years at least, it appears infinite, yet our universe is a place defined more by it’s constraints then it’s freedoms. so i pose that it is not infinite, but simply extremely large. it is possible to stretch the fabric of our dome universe, so this constraint may lose its meaning.

8) Compete,

the thrill of testing your skills against another, not a way of life, but fun now and then. too often this is the only type of play we know as adults. it is more of a subset then a primary way of play.

9) Touch,

gripping

grabbing

texture

contact

colliding

spongy

hard

smooth

soft

most and many activities usually combine a few or many different types of play at once, for example:

move + art + suspense = adventure

the physicality of moving your body, the suspense of the long journey, the distance traveled, and the art, the beauty of the visual landscape, your reward, combine to create the experience we all know as ‘adventure’ a composite of many types of play. you can also include the internal ‘take in’ body sensations, the feeling of aliveness, but ‘take in’ these internal feelings happen in combination will all types of play, so are not unique to adventure.

play is usually between people, but can happen individually. when people gather play and energy possibilities multiply in a major way. but alone time does have it’s place and importance too.

the 9 varieties of play can each be experience in a few different modes between people. two people can be side by side in parallel play for example each doing their own kind of play, separate, yet in the same space, and their is a benefit to this. i think play is best as something we share, or at least do together. yet at times it benefits us to find the play that is most true to us if that means playing alone at times or around people yet not with people at times. don’t feel you have to be so glued to others that you lose yourself.

Natural Synergy healing “click for video”
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“If you could eliminate certain outside frequencies that interfered with our bodies, we would have greater resistance toward disease.” – Nikola Tesla

the Power of Play

Say I’m playing tennis, sparring an opponent, playing piano, even playing a video game, I’m actually using ‘play’, my enjoyment of the act, to generate energy and become better at what I’m doing while I’m doing it. If I’m sparring an opponent: I’m feeding off their natural human energy field, and enjoying the act of sparing, feeling all these stimulated energies, enjoying the strategy of the match, enjoying my outward perceptions – while at the same time I do the practical action, a punch a kick, (or hitting the tennis ball). Letting actions happen without much effort. Always balancing between practical/physical action, yet slowing down to enjoy the process of what I’m doing, feeling my connection to the environment. The feed of color and energy it gives me. Feeling my own growing heart energy or feelings of aliveness. Enjoying the rise of the other persons energy. Basking in the growing current circulating between us.

I see play as an actively healing force, for adults and kids. Both a playful perspective, to find fun and build good feeling, and play in action. It sounds almost too easy, yet when I was around people, I would freeze up, thinking more and more, but never quite connected. I forgot simply to enjoy, to play. That was my blind spot. Along with not seeing myself as ‘already good’. Something so basic, became illusive. Always reaching, yet getting further away. I did all kinds of extreme meditations, confidence work, before arriving at this kinder towards self understanding. In the past I might expose my ‘play’ self with an old friend. But with larger groups or new people, I would stiffen, over focus on the words, and forget to actually enjoy myself. Play can take a little courage, simply to drop who I think I need to be. Not the courage to fight a battle, the courage not to (dude I’m messing with your mind). To reveal the self that just enjoys, in the same way I do when I’m alone watching my favorite show. Not reaching too hard for external things, but enjoying what is felt now. I reveal I am ‘weird’, even then it is actually good, the unusual moment becomes an excuse to create more play.

I had this amazing connected camp experience back when in teeny years. Someone said “loosen up, have fun.” A few days with this on my mind. And it was amazing. Hugging. New friends. Yet the experience eventually was lost, faded to memory. You have this sound bite of wisdom “loosen up, have fun” that applies to a field of people / friends, for a period of time. I can loosen up and have fun at home, but it doesn’t have the full effect. Your back in daily life, others get caught in work school patterns, the atmosphere of fun and natural connection fades a lot, so it’s harder to find. Soon I forget even to have fun when I’m alone. We work and work, yet does the stress even help us get more done?

Attraction and love isn’t just ‘ethereal magic.’ Both play and natural human presence builds actual physical-electric energy in the body; heart field energy – particle and wave energetics. Magnetic energy. Heat and sound too. Vibrations creating more vibrations. Actual photons, partial energy, is constantly bouncing off us weather we want it to or not. (My electrons sharing with your electrons, it’s an orgy of particles and waves) The energy is going somewhere, negative or positive, we might as well take control. Gradually over 10 seconds, minutes, hours, electrical pulses generate magnetic uplift, good energy builds and builds. Play and relaxed enjoyment releases stress, both setting energy free, and allowing the body to receive more fresh energy.

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Play and environmental energy feeds creative energy when alone…. and in the social field the energy is even stronger – combining/multiplying with the energies of other people to create good health & satisfaction for all in the groups effect range. When you look at something person or object, you only see it because light is bouncing off it and hitting your eyes. That light can travel quite far. The visual is actual photon energy. Colors are different frequencies. Even more fun vibrations to subtly uplift you. Giving the heart a little boost when I notice and bask in it. Gradually building energy.

Stressful thoughts or over focus on past worries, distant abstractions: creates stress, makes it harder for the body to receive / notice these sources of light and play. Receiving these energies is vitalizing, and at the same time, our bodies themselves are in motion, so play is remembering to enjoy in or express that motion. I don’t just wait hours and hours for the light to fill me (I’ve actually done this in my learning process, you get some effect, but play when used in addition to light awareness you get more empowering results/traits, interacting with people, creative fruition,  even more body energy/health), because now I’m just ‘waiting’ and I miss the play. Waiting too long it gets boring, stiff (yet many monks will do this, because we don’t have a better answer, getting a little energy feed, but not the full picture). At the same time if I just play and don’t relax/ enjoy light, I can over-stress my muscles, exhausting more then is created. I play and at the same time take time just to bask in that light feed. There is this balance. Your body learns to get the hang of it. It wants to happen, but our bodies learn to repress it, it seems weird embarrassing silly not important.

We must give ourselves permission. For the heart it is important. We find enjoyment in an adapt to different situations. We balance the right amount of enjoying/receiving and action/play at any moment. It feels increasingly easy intuitive fulfilling.

Natural Synergy healing with sound and acupuncture “click for video”
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“Everything in the universe, including your body, is controlled by energy.”

I also find a lot of compassion or a good-sadness feeling arises with this. Even sadness feels rich/profound. I feel more connected feelings to people in general now doing this. And sadness for their struggles which I now see more perceptively. I used to blame myself a lot whenever things wrong, but now I see everyone struggles like I did in similar ways. More energy is flowing through my body, exchanging with ones surroundings, so richer feelings and noticings happen as result. I often notice the struggles around me, it actually feels good – I relate to it emotionally. It is beautiful seeing the complexity and understanding the forces at work. Understanding it I feel I can help, being supportive in a subtle way. It is empowering to feel you can help and uplift other people, and enjoy it at the same time.

I’m careful not to trigger fear or push others when they’re worn out, just by thinking about someone a person can feel your connection. At the same time we all need fun so I bring it in (unless it’s really a bad time). Even when I’m not speaking or acting play, I’m still enjoying my thoughts or noticings. I keep building uplift even in times when speaking or physical action isn’t called for or allowed. With more experience you get used to the right balance, and it gets easy. The body remembers on its own.

You can’t recreate play with fear / an over-analyzing mind. At times it actually takes courage to break a non-play mold and just enjoy while in the presence of others who can be in a stress or mind heavy zone. Yet we all want this good feeling, even if we don’t understand the source. Being a leading example of simple low stress enjoyment. This enjoyment attracts what we want without having to reach.

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