Shouting at Flowers

This post is about how to make flowers grow faster by reading motivational speeches to them, understanding how to apply the right amount of guilt and punishment, and ‘encouraging’ them to be more responsible and less lazy.          Ok lets be real.

The heart is like a flower. You can’t make a flower grow faster by shouting motivational speeches at it (basically human society in a nutshell), or by giving the flower discipline and punishment for its ‘misdeeds’ of inherently existing in this reality. Pointing out the flowers flaws and telling it to take a good long constructively critical look at itself.

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I am thinking about the concept of ‘watering the good seeds’ in my life. Like a garden! lol. Noticing what observations were the ‘most helpful’. And just noticing them and feeling good about it. the feeling helps me remember that things are safe and good. It is a habit to go into my mind for answers instead of trusting the feeling to remember what is important. the heart knows things. it has a knowledge to it. and it learns things, all the time, even when the brain isn’t thinking.

We humans think we are so different and superior from other animals. that our intelligence makes us different and above them, alienated from them. yet at core we are very similar. we are bonded to the same primal physical needs plants and animals have. we need the light, the out doors, the social connection, food and water. nourishment. kindness. trees aren’t giving motivational seminars to other trees about how to “evict their inner wussy.” we people are a lot like trees. If you aren’t in the sunlight, you grow in funny, you tend to accumulate a lot of doubts and worries and feel empty inside. it’s not your fault that you weren’t put in the sunlight. but people will judge you harshly as though this was your personal failure. Yet as a human we do have the option to pick ourselves up and re-plant ourselves in the sunlight. for a time i moved to California. because i realized i didn’t need to suffer any more, because i genially felt happier in the sunshine and heat and i could tell the people there felt happier too, like a multiplying effect. we don’t always have that choice to move to California. i had to move back. but we can still choose to spend more time ‘in the light’ in the places that make us feel good. don’t blame yourself for the bad things so much. no one ever ‘wants’ to be bad. think about what you need and how to bring more of it into your life.

I had this dream where one or two people I know who i think of as being ‘anxious’ kept coming by and removing things from my bead room or living room. In the first part my best friend kept purchasing potted plants and putting them in his living room. Then the anxious person would come by the ‘clean up’ there was a ‘busyness’ about it. They would remove the potted plant by some kind of misunderstanding that they were doing us a service, when in fact my friend just bought that and wanted it there. “She keeps taking my plants. this keeps happening.” he said. During the dream i wasn’t really aware that the person taking the plants was anxiety driven. during the dream i figured she had some kind of reason for doing it. In the next part of the dream i kept making drawing on big pads of paper like i had wanted too for some time. the drawings were turning out pretty well but this person came by and removing them for some reason. in the dream the  people were people much older then me, so they were like role models, i would figure that what they were doing was for an important purpose, like they were taking the plants and the art for some kind of important reason. Another layer to the psychology of it all. When in fact the people taking the plants were driven by anxiety and i didn’t make that observation until after i woke up.

Looking back on it after i woke up: These were people I identified a part of myself in them. the dream was about me and not them. but i won’t say that ‘all dreams are about you’, some dreams are very much about your relationships to society or other people or the events of the day. it’s not all your goddamn fault! the kind of negative self focus is a problem in society. this relentless self improvement effort. it become like a loop. trying harder. going nowhere. I’ve learned to be kinder to myself. I realized that when i got anxious i would start ‘problem solving’ in my mind, and that emotion and the thinking about it would effectively ‘remove’ positive observations i had already made in the previous days our hours. it was like going backwards, even though it felt like i was ‘being productive’ and ‘problem solving’, i was getting caught in the fear, removing positive emotions, forgetting to notice the good things i and improvements i had already made in the previous day. The anxious people were my anxious thoughts and feelings. the ‘cleaning up’ the ‘problem solving’ / ‘being productive’ was actually removing the flowers, the fruits of the previous day.

I have to water those positive seeds, those good observations about what is going right. to get out of the fear. to grow the good things in life. so those positive observations can seep down into my heart, and i can more forward in life as a choice my emotions have made, and not as a choice my brain is forcing me to do. My brain is sort of like my mom ‘forcing’ me to be more social. I’m noticing even when i force myself to do things all the time, the things i should ‘want’ to do, it seems like courage, but just becomes another kind of stress loop. stress under the guise of courage. you should force yourself to be with people all the time. you shouldn’t force yourself to have fun. at some point you have to be honest, i -want- to have fun, i -want- to feel connected to people. the wanting is a more powerful emotion. but the fear and the worry makes us afraid to just relax and want. sometimes relaxing is scary. because when we relax we notice more. our perception expands, we notice all kinds of scary things we weren’t even aware of when we were in the stress mode, busying though life on autopilot, when we really take a moment to relax and remember what that feels like in the heart, we notice more, the good and the bad and that in itself becomes scary. so we jump back up into the mind. not even noticing the reason why, and forgetting that we ever even found away into that better stronger state of being.

The anxious people in my dream were (like) my thoughts. it came from something real, something ‘out there’ that started right from the beginning perhaps, in the early years of growing up, and shaped something ‘in here’ in me. even though the thoughts were anxiety driven. I took them for something ‘important’ or ‘productive’ and this is in my waking life. not the dream any more. in that way my relationship to my thoughts was just like my relationship to the specific people in the dream. the thoughts were ‘older’ they had been around for a long time, a habit in me from the beginning i hadn’t even noticed could be different. i just figured it was the way reality was. but when something scary happens, i didn’t need to go into my brain and think about it. i can just let it roll off me. i don’t have to use logic to make sense out of fear feelings. that isn’t ‘being productive’. just because something has been ‘going on forever’ or ‘everyone is doing it’ doesn’t make it more right.

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(Naturally Social ‘hang out space’ Event) All people have passion. All people want something. it feels good to be healthy. addition is just a trauma symptom. there are hidden traumas everywhere effecting our behavior. it isn’t a ‘disease in the mind’. it’s a feeling. a feeling of not feeling safe with people. humans and other animals are a socially driven species, we learn to function on our own for long periods and even thrive temporary when removing ourselves form the community in a bigger way, but this is a trauma coping mechanisms, not true ‘thriving’.

Being part of the community is not the same as ‘conforming’ to all it’s pressures and abstract ideals. There is something to be said about being around others yet ‘holding on to yourself’. Maybe someone is talking to you a lot and won’t stop. it isn’t your responsibility to answer their every question. what matters is that you -feel- connected to people, a sense of ease and rhythm and flow in the group. that you could relax, laugh at a joke, look into someones eyes, the words quickly can become very distracting, we get caught into this race to become ‘smarter’ that is perpetuated by society and is a huge distraction blocking the way to the true simplicity of feeling of love and connection between people when we take time to relax with each other and allow them to flow.

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We can draw out this passion in all people, adults and children, but talking about it, complementing it, etc, asking about it, sharing out own passion leading by example to thereby encourage others to share theirs. just by existing int he world we encounter lots of pain, loneliness, emptiness, it all boils down to one word, ‘suffering’. you think you have to discipline and motivate your kids al the time on top of the suffering that already inherently exists in reality, the burden of just existing in this survival based universe / plane of existence. we criticize the defeated, the poor and the injured for not being ‘motivated’ enough to seeded in life and get rich and famous. the intention is wrong, the goal is wrong, the criticism is misplaced. lots of people fight against it. but the habit is too easy, it’s too old, we are used to fighting battles against ourselves and each other we don’t even need to fight. this physiological war of winning love and motivating ourselves to be better and smarter. Society has this way of teaching us, in a subliminal or subtextual way that we are ‘inherently bad’ or inherently at fault. we start assuming we are at fault or have made mistakes. the problems in our life seem ‘logical’ when they start as something emotional we have never even notices is there. when we don’t make peace with the ‘this is my fault’ emotion, we don’t let in the happiness, the rainbow river of positive emotions that flows between us and others, so therefore we never even know it is there. we never even know what is really feels like. so problems in life seem logical, we never notice this emotion that blocks our way to an even more powerful kind of connection then we thought was possible.

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The ‘autism’ thing never made sense to me, some doctor thought i was high functioning autistic? when i was 12? yet i noticed times when the shyness would just go away completely, and that i could get more connected just by looking for more of those ‘times’. the good times. I realize I had a lot of free reign when i was young, lots of time to think for myself and be creative, it was mind-expanding and thinking deeply about the universe relentlessly even as a child, i was fascinated and always learning….. i never had to deal with the strict discipline and conditioning some families had, free thinking was encouraged in my family…… so it was hard to accept the simplistic pigeon hole of mental illness. it never really made sense to me. if mental illness is a fixed condition in the brain, they why did it just totally vanish in certain situations? i was never convinced i was ‘ill’ in the brain, yet there this habit, it is trendy to convince people of my generation they have an illness. it seemed like everyone i knew had one. it was like candy.

Sometimes i felt like i was in a ‘cloud’ and other times i felt this potability for infinite love and connection, yet the ‘cloud’ really didn’t feel like a ‘mental dysfunction’ or something that was permanent, but i didn’t really know what it was that made me feel disconnected either. and slowly over time i felt more and more disconnected, I became ‘insecure’. As i grew older i became more set in the ways of society, earning approve for the love of peers, striving to prove myself to the larger community, to ‘get the girl’. trying to get ‘smarter’ to impress people, and on the flip side of it all was this fear that there was something wrong in my brain. They told me i was learning disabled too, in elementary school. Normally i don’t even bother mentioning this.. but it is relevant. They told me these things, I knew that wasn’t true, even though as a kid i was creating complicated fantasy novels, and stop motion movies, designing computer games, and doing all kinds of things. So I really questioned what i was told regarding my ‘brain’. It really made no sense. I used to be really concerned with proving people wrong, but that really is part of the problem, so i don’t even bother with it now. the people who believe these things aren’t the people i want to be around. Something made me shy away from people as a kid. But that wasn’t ‘mental illness’. That was such a creepy way to describe people. And that was the truth, every time ‘mental illness’ came up, it felt creepy as hell, it felt fake, and depressing, what were all these adults doing? Sitting in a room feeling depressed.

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The only thing we really need to worry about in life is putting food on the table. The love part, that should be the nourishment, the healing. Sometimes i can mean that we have to flip our perspective on life to see love as the food, the sustenance, the nourishment, and not as the thing we have to ‘strive’ to become, the final ‘enlightenment’ that will make us finally truly lovable. The enlightenment is right here. you are already enlightened. you have suffered enough. just by friggin existing in this reality. With all the confusion of it all. addition isn’t laziness. addiction is a trauma byproduct. Filling the void with food and pleasure, that really needs to be filled with love (human light emission, human energy). Selfishness isn’t greed. It’s trauma. All of it is trauma. That’s what our society doesn’t get. We are afraid to let the love in. As a species. It is too strange too massive and too simple to comprehend. How could so many struggle with something so simple, how could so many follow a misguided approval seeking pattern, because it’s the hive mind, it’s our connection, when we don’t know what to do we look to others for guidance, everyone is looking to someone else, know one knows that they are doing, but thought history this has created a massive and ongoing illusion that we all ‘know’ what we are doing. the head mentality. group think. hive mind.

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Trauma isn’t something you can simply talk people out of, you can’t mind your way out of it. Trauma is much stranger then we can know, love and healing have to be felt, experienced, we are all equals in this, we are discovering truth, not inventing truth. The teacher is the learner, the learner is the teacher. Children have feelings and questions they don’t understand because society itself doesn’t have the answers, yet instead of just dismissing the question of the child as childish, i try to always look at things with a fresh take, they see the world unclouded by habit, but children are far from perfect, yet they teach us things we have forgotten with time.

Trauma is strange, because reality itself is strange. For a while I hesitated a bit to use the word ‘trauma’ because that implies we ‘know’ what it really ‘is’ that gets in the way in life. Yet Trauma is a popular concept that is easy to understand and is becoming more popular than before so I fall back on it, and don’t want to go overboard with my radical theories about what ‘really’ gets in the way. trauma is something we are ‘ready’ as a culture to understand. yet still i find it too ‘mental’ and too ‘self’ or ‘individual’ focused, it take the focus off the community dynamic and how it effects us as individuals, and off the fact that we -physically- exist in reality and are constantly effected by this, it puts us into the mind and keeps us looking inwards for our ‘faults’ to too great an extent, the same old dilemma, like a decent step up from ‘mental illness’, yet the word ‘trauma’ is a good starting place. It gets us a bit out of the ‘mental’ and more into the ’emotional’. Society as a whole is ready to ‘grok’ the concept of ‘trauma’ and that it exists beyond traumas of injury, trauma can also be from emotional injury and it is important to recognize both. and accept that you can be traumatized even when nothing goes ‘wrong’, because it is equally traumatic when nothing goes truly ‘right’ in your life, as is the case for many. Yet if i were to find a word for what really gets in the way of connection… i might upgrade it further to something like… Ok i haven’t decided yet, but fun to think about. Well i have one idea, but it is way to radical, so we will stick with this for now. Understanding Trauma has put me further in the right direction, getting into the emotions more.

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“If you could eliminate certain outside frequencies that interfered with our bodies, we would have greater resistance toward disease.” – Nikola Tesla

It’s hard to really ‘know’ the Universe, but when we group up in fear that we can’t find love and purpose in the greater community, that we can’t attract the love we want, that is trauma, we don’t think it is, we just call it, being an ‘awkward dork’, but it is, fearing we don’t belong is so unconscious, yet it gets in the way, we don’t even notice we are doing it, getting in our own way, it is instinctive, it goes deep into the emotions, and it isn’t really about the mind or the brain in a significant capacity enough though society is constantly telling us it is. it isn’t your fault for not trying harder. it’s the opposite. When i talk about Trauma i don’t want to get into that all to deep rut or pitfall of saying, “all the problems are in your mind” and you can do anything if you just have the right “mentality” this gets us sucked back up into the mind, when I talk about trauma i am really talking about emotional trauma. one way to release  is you process the past emotionally. that ’emotional’ part is key. it isn’t like a science project or a mathematical equation. emotions aren’t logical, yet they effect everything we can do. you have to feel what heeling the emotional feels like, only you can to that.

Trauma isn’t just in the past. Some psycho therapy can get really focused on the past to the exclusion of the present. The past has it’s values, we hold on to it in our emotions, and don’t even resize it, just taking time to notice feelings we are holding on to has this way of shedding light on them, and soundly there is this deep body’ release’ we just let it go, just by noticing it, we feel a shift.

Trauma can be very ‘on going’ in life, and i feel this gets overlooked, it is often happening right now. the trauma is continually ‘renewed’, ‘refreshed’ in a lonely and stressed out world. Every moment is new, and we relive the dark times. life is harder then we give it credit for being. Just existing can be hard. And that’s why having ‘fun’ isn’t ‘lazy’, it’s important to take all the fun you can get. yet have it in a healing way that connects you to people and the things that matter, not fun as  away of escaping the things that scare you, fun to fill a void never full. it should feel like the fun is lifting you higher. it isn’t just about what you are doing. often the intention is the most important part. healing is on going and not just about the past. feeling disconnected is traumatic, the trauma becomes on going because you are always disconnected when you get in that cycle, you can’t just ‘let go’ of the trauma without also ‘letting in’ the love. the light. the energy. this part often feels like it gets left out for me. We get really good at ‘letting go’ of things, us spiritual seekers, yet we also need to ‘let in’ the love, if there was an absence in our lives. When you talk about trauma as this ‘thing in the mind’ and forget the heart-love part of it, the people part, it gets very mental and circuital. WE focus a lot on the individual person when talking about trauma, it gets deeply psycho analytic and takes years and decades and life times, it’s all on you and your personal barriers that you personally individually need to overcome if you do enough deep processing work no yourself over the years…….. yet trauma is also largely and significantly a group phenomena that is ongoing in this very moment, and when you shift it in the entire group it can shift very quickly. your energy is connected to the energy of everyone else in the room. we are like these beacons of energy, these receives, we are community creatures. When you change the energy of the group decades of on going generational trauma aka deep unconscious emotional fear (emotional fear responses to social and group situations) can be shifted, it gets straight to the emotion, and shy shut don’t people open up, because they -feel- the vibrations of the group, and only the group love can create that vibration. one on one is ok, but years of relating to people and working through the problems one on one takes out an essential part of the equation. we are a group animal. and group healing shifts everything. when everyone in the group wants to heal and be vulnerable and talk about love and self love, that’s when big healing happens, you just don’t get there one on one. Even just remembering times when i was part of a group or community that valued ‘self love’ those times i really felt connected, and just the memory has be a guide to help me find that in myself, to reach out and recreate that kind of self love community atmosphere.

It took me a long time to accept this , but finally i decided i had suffered enough, it became too obvious too keep ignoring it, as much as i feel afraid of gathering, all the best times in my life had been during large gatherings. the reason i failed to see it, failed to accept it, was because i was making life unnecessarily complicated for myself. the truth was simple. the group itself was healing. it didn’t matter so much who is was talking to our how i was trying to connect with them, just being there and enjoying it was what really mattered, time and time a gain, i saw this was true. i was afraid that by becoming a more social person i would become exhausted and i wouldn’t have time or energy to write books, do the creative things that were a real driving passion in my life, i was afraid that to break my social boundaries i would have spend even more time being social, at one point i stopped even allowing myself to be alone… yet this was just anything over compensation for something. when i first started to experience ‘getting high’ on the social vibes of life, the good kind of high, i started to ‘flip the other way’ from introvert to extrovert. to rely on this social energy all the time. yet this lead to a crash.

I was forgetting an important part of myself, the passion, the art, the creativity. in my big quest to be charismatic and get the girl, ironically i left out something important, the valuable that all those ‘nerdy’ ‘social isolation’ activities acutely brought to my life. i saw it as the problem. but the art way my passion. what i need was BOTH. the people, and the fun, the strange personal private fun that was hard to fully communicate sometimes. every strange creative little thing that made me happy. all that wasn’t a distraction it was part of my spiritual quest, my human quest. all that alone time creative stuff was a major place of passion and healing that also connected me to others because it made me happy and witty and funny. There are many sources of energy in life. Now i do anything and everything that makes me happy. there isn’t any one thing that summarized my routine. My life is variety itself. Variety is the healer. I do different things not because i ‘know’ it will ‘work’ and connect me to people, but because it ‘feels’ good, and the feeling connects me to people. Everything becomes vastly less complicated when you let your feeling be your guide, your compass, your radar. it is all to common to undervalue the power of the heart and the power of feeling in our modern fast passed productive mind driven world of ambitious thinkers and noble strives. We are always getting better and stronger.

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Society is trying to heal your trauma, yet it is also creating it. it is all very confusing. maybe you should take a nap. Take a break from all these mixed messages. LOL.

Society wants us to heal, yet at the same time it is trying to hurry you back onto that peer validated ‘productivity’ track. helping you to let go of shit quick so you can get back to work folding letters and packaging boxes or waiting tables or something. It’s time to ‘achieve’. “Have you done anything productive today?” My friends mom asks her every day, she looks exhausted. And the follow up question from my deep soul self, “who cares!!??”

We do what we have to do, work is work, we go to work, make a buck, but you won’t heal if you become too ‘familiar’ with that ‘exhausted’ feeling in life.

That’s how it was for me, life was just fundamentally exhausting and sucky. even in the exhausting lame situations that you can’t avoid you have to focus on the good, the energy, the fun, and start to see that there is something really consistently good in the world. it helps knowing other people have it, and i think i was always unconsciously instinctively modelling those other people, even now, often they themselves may not know ‘how they do it’. it is more important to feel it then to know it. joy and success is like this feedback loop established over time. but it is more then ‘mentality’ it is more then the ‘mental’, the synaptic firings in your mind. healing and positive momentum in life is very emotion based, feeling based. often we talk ourselves out of feeling the feelings. we became ourselves. argue with ourselves. be the feeling is deeper then all that. it’s not your fault. feelings aren’t logical. the mind is logical. you can’t logic your way out of trauma. You just have to notice how you feel. It sounds almost too obvious. but it takes time and practice.

Exhaustion becomes so normal to people like me, that we don’t even really know what feelings feel like and they way they guide us to where the energy and power of life is. When you are really getting more and more into your feelings, they become like this compass, like this radar that leads you to where the energy and connection is in life, and you don’t even have to think that much. It’s like you life is powered by this internal magnet. and that’s what love is, it’s magnetic. It becomes so normal.. just forcing ourselves to do things all the time, we think it is ‘admirable’ yet when you create momentum with your feelings by enjoying all little things in life, that momentum carries you, and then you don’t have to constantly ‘tell yourself and ‘make yourself’ do things. life gets easier, and people treat you with more respect. it is a win win. and the other way is a lose lose. yet even people are in this ‘lose lose’ place life they need our kindness and not our criticism. the criticism is already alive and well in the minds of these people, yet the outside world is always here to provide more of it somehow. the criticism and ‘identification’ of problems … becomes the problem itself. the ‘shouting at flowers’ phenomenon. a flower is just a flower. if it doesn’t get enough light and droops over, that doesn’t mean it has ‘mental illness’. A complex neural problem of the flower that has gone wrong permanently in it’s flower brain. It doesn’t have flower autism. or flower schizophrenia. It doesn’t have restless flower syndrome, to be cured with some kind of an inorganic chemical in the shape of a pill with a fancy name like “abilify”. It’s just a goddamn flower. Stop reading into things. Stop projecting problems. You just have to keep watering those good seeds, being grateful for the things that make you happy in life day by day. that creates momentum. magnetism.

The fear, we don’t even notice we have it, but it is an instinct that gets in the way around people, we mimic what the group is doing, and we prevent ourselves from really ‘feeling’ the group vibe, enjoying the vibes, socializing becomes a type of ‘productivity’ we discuss how we can self improve and get better as individuals and people. but there is a subtle underlying stress behind it. not everyone does this, but even those who are truly comfortable don’t always notice how much anxiety is driving society itself. it is so all pervasive, so everywhere. we are afraid to challenge it. it doesn’t have to be a rebellion. it can be as simple as having self kindness and gratitude for the good things. the big ambitions in life are noble, yet they are top heavy, they make us exhausted and actually bring us down sometimes. the fear cuts us off from feeling our other emotions, like in the heart, and the emotions are what tap us into the energy, the energy the group emits, and the energy of our own creative feedback loops, the energy that connects us to the sunlight, plants animals and people around us. the vibes, enjoying the simple things, the colors of your room. this hidden fear mode, that resides in the instinctive ‘herd’ (the bonds of our animal emotional nature) cuts people off from the energy. but shifting it can be very simple the moment you start to notice it. so much of healing is as simple as ‘noticing’ things. but it can feel like stepping into another dimension. it is almost too simple, too easy to accept that life could be like this at first. when you are used to the harder way, earning love and success by being constantly relentlessly ‘productive’. a lot of it has to do with how we relate to people. you can’t really heal the trauma by being alone too long. whatever problems happen in your life, you can’t let it convince you you aren’t worthy of being around people. even when you are injured and broken, you still are connected to the love of people. we are a social species. that is how we ‘harness light energy’ we have evolved this way. because human together are like batteries, we circulates this energy, like some kind of massive organic power plant. it is very simple and effective. yet we grow up learning that attracting people is all about the ‘skills’ you have learned mentally. we live life on this ‘verbal’ demon, i can’t stand to be around people who are so ‘verbal’ and doesn’t seem to read any emotions, even the most obvious ones, yet this is the kind of person society produces. we think people want to laugh at our clever jokes, and are inspired by our brilliant statements, but the energy is even more attractive, even more healing.

Spirituality tells us that we can ‘earn’ this energy if we do lots of yoga, mediation, dieting, working out, if we really are fully devoted… yet this has a way of becoming another system of control. it is the same thing all over again. ‘productivity’. again i had to let go of all that. and get back to the simple truth. how do i feel about people. it was hard to understand at first. it seems like we are ‘independent’ units. but it took me a long time to realize that humans thrive in groups, it seems almost obvious now. it feels hard to think of yourself as ‘needing’ other people to be happy. but when you make the choice to seek groups of people more often, if you were someone like me who didn’t go to gatherings every often, you will ‘feel it’, you feel that the flow of energy is ‘natural’ and it is different then ‘neediness’ or ‘consumption’.

It isn’t neediness because you are with others, but you stay connected to yourself, you get into your body and the emotions, and out of all the mental stuff of trying to understand others minds, the competitiveness of it all, the rat race, you feel emotions and relax, and the feeling is attractive and healing. you think about what makes you happy, and that in and of itself becomes attractive, it becomes a starting place for more. Socializing is like watering plants, you grow a bit at a time, you water the good seeds, water the good thoughts, and they bare fruit and flowers. People who work too hard all the time start to look malnourished, they shrivel up, the stress isn’t natural, it feels predictable, yet notice what relationships in your life are ‘productivity based’ if you feel you need to accomplish things all the time before you can speak to someone, maybe the health value of that relationship is something to question. for some this is the only way we learn and know how to relate. it is ok to want to be friends with someone just because they make you feel calm. when you feel calm, the other person feels it too, that you are becoming more natural and connected.

the irony of it all is that people work to hard and shrivel up and feel exhausted and crash and feel lonely and don’t even know there is another modality of being in the world, a different way to ‘relate’ to the universe itself, with people and when alone. this kind of doing ‘whatever’ nourishes your emotions and feeling at any moment, this constant, heeling the feelings mode of being. it is done together and alone. it has to be both. we are a social species yet you don’t have to be constantly around people to be happy, that also becomes another system of control, a compensation mechanism for not knowing you to just ‘be with yourself’. that is also very healing. it is healing ‘creativity’. for a whole different kind of reason. socializing is very energizing for me, yet being on my own is deeply relaxing, and gives me time to cultivate this different kind of creative independence that is hard to do if you are afraid to be on your own.

You start to ‘feel’ that being around the group is the natural way, because the energy flows through you. if you don’t plug in your phone it runs out of battery. we are nothing but strange creatures floating on a big rock in space. we adapt by harnessing energy. more people = more energy. it isn’t wrong to just soak it up. to just party your way to happiness. addition is the byproduct of trauma. when the fear is gone, you see that ‘fun’ is not an indulgence, society tells us to work for love, but there is a much bigger epidemic to heal, all the productivity is not making the world better, there is so much emotional healing that needs to happen, and what we call ‘bring productive’ becomes like this anxious distraction, from the real pain, the lack of feeling like we matter in the community, to each other. You can give yourself permission to enjoy life. even when it seems almost like everyone is telling you not to. because healing yourself and feeling more healthy and vibrant is the most effective healing to others to. leading by example. and doing this isn’t as easy as it sounds, because it means face fear, letting go of what we don’t need, the stress, the attachments, not just letting go but letting in the love. you matter. you are awesome. Saying that to yourself. Saying it to others.  There is so much pain out there, yet it has this way of becoming totally invisible. people who are too disabled to work are forced to, people are sick or emotionally traumatized, but society tells them they have an ‘illness in the brain’ and call it ‘autism’. the rich treat the poor like they are unmotivated drug addicts, when really no one has it harder. You learn that suffering is your fault. if you are not happy it is your fault. it sounds like a motivation speech. Motivational speech GONE WRONG. Motivational speech GONE SEXUAL. just kidding. that’s a youtube joke. Ironically it is joy that is a major healer to the pain. Joy allows us to see things more clearly. Not telling people to force joyfulness and block out the sadness and bad things. but having kindness for the struggles of life. the invisible struggles. there are so many disabilities that you can’t even see with your eyes. and many others who are healthy enough still end up living life in a kind of loop, because you feel like you are not good enough, and it becomes a cycle. you start invalidating yourself. assuming others don’t want to talk to you, and you miss the real reason. sometimes people really just are busy and it isn’t your fault. when you keep going for the love and the joy, it becomes a positive feedback loop. and this is courageous. it feels good, and it is like partying for life, yet is is also a path of great courage.

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There are greedy people out there. there are people out there who abuse power. yet we choose to put them in power. a massive part of our population votes for them and supports their power. because that massive prat of the population is acting out of trauma. Ignorant people will ride that wave and use it to get rich and powerful. but the true problem isn’t the one dictator, or the criminal, the figure head, or the bad villain man, it is the massive amount of emotional trauma in the way people relate with each other, the loneliness, the projection of our inner emptiness onto the outside world in the form of hate and fear. that ‘Hitler’ that ‘bad man’ on the top, is like a distraction of sorts, a straw man / you might call him a scapegoat of sorts, he is propped up by countless people who want to feel connected and alive and purposeful -through- him. we want that shared sense of purpose, so we elect someone who makes us feel connected, we feel connected when we all rally together over something. even if that something is racism. or a chronic drive to become smarter and better. It could be money. School. Business.

There are all kinds of things we do to feel safe, to give us an ‘excuse’ to ‘belong’ around other space. Even spirituality. Spirituality is not an exception. It starts off as this amazing blessing in our lives, to take on some form of a spiritual practice.. but soon it is another system of control, we accept this is the best it will get and get into a rhythm, a comfort zone with thousands of others and stop searching beyond the routine for answers and freedom.

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(Voldemorts last dying soul in the fetal position on the left represents the condition of the ‘heart’ in an overthinking brain productive world)

Schooling makes us feel connected, yet makes us feel like we need to score A grades all the time or even A+ to be really of significance, to have ‘social worth’ to others, and that is totally upside-down as to how people really connect. it becomes a habit, thinking we need to study hard and be smarter all the time just to have social value to others. Relaxation makes us feel connected. yet we rely on these ‘pseudo communities’, these ‘excuses‘ to connect. The excuse connects us. Yet it is also a distraction, because it keeps us afraid, afraid to connect without the ‘excuse’. I have friends because i have drug buddies. I have friends because I have drug recover buddies. I have friends because of work. I have friends because i met them at college and earned their recognition by proving myself as a smart funny person…….. etc, etc. it gets problematic.

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It’s time to take love off the ‘pedestal’. Many people less qualified and way more goofy and misguided then you have an abundance of love and success in their lives, just look around, the love and it is freely available to them. if you struggle, it’s not because you aren’t good enough. many people radiate light, and have success and respect while only trying half as hard as you are already trying. many less talented and less awesome people then you have more love in their lives. shatter the illusion. love isn’t something to strive for and battle for and stress out about. it is right here. that said, it isn’t obvious. but over time, you can shift the momentum, create the feedback loop of love. you may not be the next Jesus, but if you start on a much smaller level, this way is still much easier then thinking earning the love needs to be a complex task. water the good seeds. find the love though harnessing the natural subtle energies of your body. creativity. kindness. honesty. the little things. the big ambitions crush us. miss herp and mr. derp don’t worry about big ambitions, they just love all the time because it feels good. yet this is the most powerful way to make a difference in the world and cultivate the things you want over time.

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We don’t need a ‘reason’ to connect. You don’t need a  ‘reason’ to want to walk up and talk to someone. Or to simply smile at someone. because the reason is love. Societies keeps us thinking we needs reasons to reach out. that there is something more important and more healing then being around people. It isn’t even just about the talking, it isn’t that essential to walk up to strangers and talk at them relentlessly to ‘break’ some kind of inner ‘mental limit’ as I so tried many times. But it is important to feel connected. it isn’t easy, but it could be. Sometimes it feels like the easy way is the only way. so i find ways to make it easier. We have a kind of ‘stranger complex’ in America or maybe even across the world. Everyone is a fellow human. We tend to fear strangers and people we don’t know, they could be up to no good, they could be insidious shady perverts, or they could be — ‘so good’ — that we don’t even deserve to look at them.. etc, then we are the ‘stranger’. We ‘stranger’ ourselves out of the picture. Other animals have simple minds, they don’t fear each other. They just do things as a group. They act together. Migrate together. Feel together. Herp derp. It is important not to be brainwashed though in to doing whatever people say is right, this can be a tricky distinction, be around others, yet notice the instinct to ‘copycat’ them, don’t mimic every single thing they do just to be cool or garner respect in society, first really think about if it feels right and value to you. Don’t be afraid to go agnist what you are told. the ‘assumptions’ we all make.

You can just ‘be’ around the group and feel your own emotions and unique creative happy thoughts and ‘not’ subscribe to any kind of complex ideology or peer pressure. it takes time to feel into what that even means. to do it your own way, yet still make a choice to be around people. i always got the ‘do it your own way’ prat. i know i felt 100x happier when i thought for myself, but i didn’t get, what i didn’t get, was that i could still do this, be my unique creative self, while around people. i was afraid that being around others meant loosing myself. school felt boring, too much dry information, too much stillness, to many long hours. i lost myself in the mundanity of it all. yet being at home all day with mom clearly wasn’t the answer either. hiding a way in personal passions. visiting a friend now and then, yet not being part of a bigger ‘group’.

You can go to school, be around a larger group, and still find times to ‘have fun’. You have to create the fun. Even just as a thought. It doesn’t have to be anything big, bold, stressful and courageous all the time. Fun can be as simple as it sounds. Just think about what you like. that changes your vibe. changes how you feel. you can be goofing off internally and the teacher will never know it, they will feel your joy and love you for it and know that you are a good attentive student even when you are just thinking about something like “cartoons” or “people you are attracted to” or “art projects” like 70% of the time. The courage to have fun and enjoy yourself in little ways. That can change the world.

We humans and or complex minds, create much to be afraid of. And all that becomes an excuse to disconnect. Even if you are talking to people yet afraid of what they are thinking all the time, that is a kind of disconnection, it makes you exhausted, makes you want to run back to something else that ‘feels good’, what if connection could ‘feel good’, what if ‘feeling good’ was the primary reason to do it. It wasn’t always so obvious to me.

Animals don’t make things so complicated, a herd of cows isn’t trying to raise their kids to be the next ‘baby Einsteins’ or get straight A’s to beat out their other classmates, so that they can ultimately beat out other nations in the great race for SCIENCE and advancement. Animals know how to just be. Maybe technology isn’t about getting better and smarter and making the next mind blowing complex innovation, maybe even human tech can be used to help us get more in touch with nature and ourselves. a natural technology. other animals don’t think as much as we do. it is a gift, yet it also gets profoundly in the way. Animals just gather and follow their feelings. They aren’t driven by different religions and schools of thought and prejudiced, they just gather and chill. Herp. Derp.

Getting in touch with that inner ‘animal’ you is grocery underrated. The ‘animal’ means your instincts feelings, natural social impulse to just be goofy and laugh and look at people, to think about simple things that fill you with excitement). Stuff that isn’t really about the brain. Feeling raw emotion. feelin it and feelin it. I always used to think and think about how to get women to like me. For many years it plagued me. Finally… i just stared to see myself as an ‘animal’ of sorts, like a dog just chilln with the other dogs. I imaged it like this. that’s how it felt. dropping the intellect. it was almost like being ‘naked’. It felt like i was lying to people, smiling at them, without having anything interesting planned to say, without using my brain practically at all… but they just smiled right back. and i was like ‘hey!’ this is way the hell easier then what i was doing before. i just just smile to people and listen to them talk and say very little, yet i feel connected. Dogs don’t worry about weather they are good enough, they just run right up to people. They don’t worry about there ‘intellectual contribution’ to the global conversation. they have an emotional contribution, just by existing. even in there final moments when death and illness take them, they keep trying to stand up, keep going for the love. because it just feels right for them. I’ve learned a lot from lust looking at animals. Keep things simple. And girls like that. I am true to my emotions. I can be an intellectual. But i do things first and foremost because it feels right. A moth doesn’t need an ‘excuse’ to go to the lamp, it just goes to the light.

Natural Synergy healing with sound and acupuncture “click for video”
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“In every culture and medical tradition before ours, healing was accomplished by moving energy” – Albert Szent-Györgyi (1937 Nobel Prize for Medicine)

The Energetic Heart & Body

the Electric Heart, Magnetic Connections
and the healing power of light.

Unknown to modern understanding, hidden to the five senses, the human body gives off a subtle healing energy. For many of us… we have always ‘felt it’, this ‘energy’ between people, this higher feeling, yet never truly understood ‘why’ and ‘how’. The energy of life can feel divine, like something not of this world, such ‘true love’, or just a feeling of being ‘connected’ to people, a feeling of being in your purpose, in a new place, around the community. What if that feeling wasn’t something so ‘ethereal.’ What if it was something more basic, like air and water, something you could have more often, or even all the time. We go about our lives chasing our ambitions, unaware of this energy source that is right there, available in communities, in festivals, at the park, in the mall, with your friends. It’s right there if we know where to look. This exchange of energy, it happens all the time when we’re are in close proximity of others, even when we are doing or saying very little at all. The ‘energy’ is subtle yet important. According to German scientists.. the human body emits small measurable intensities of light, known as biophotons, from the eyes and skin. (Dr. Fritz-Albert Popp.) (Herbert Schwabl, Herbert Klima. Spontaneous ultraweak photon emission from biological systems and the endogenous light field.)

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This biolight, this ‘biophotonic field’ if you will, a kind of light energy that humans emit without even trying to, it is healing to ourselves and other people around us. Our bodies have a system for receiving biolight from each other, storing it in our cells and DNA. “Cellular damage can be virtually repaired, within hours, by faint beams of light.” (Popp) Biolight and other energies exchanged between people exist “just below our conscious perception.” (Rollin McCraty) We have this ‘bioluminescence’.

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My own spiritual and social journey to become more connected to others lead me to realize that there was some kind of ‘energy’ or vitality that would just ‘appear’ over time when large groups of people had gathered. In particular when those people seemed relaxed and were having fun. After years of exploring this concept it began to occur to me that humans were constantly exchanging small amounts of energy, that this energy was light itself. It began as energy from the Sun. Only this was a kind of living light. This ‘group healing effect’ seemed to be a simple answer to many of my life long struggles. A simple answer that took years even decades you might say to even notice or attune to. It had very little to do with ‘social skills’ as I had always been told, and ironically had more to do with particle physics. The healing effects of the energy people emit, light. And to put it more simply, it was really about relaxing and enjoying the self in the company of others. Too long I had focused my social energies into impressing others and trying to calculate in my mind what would be the best thing to say. All that energy, my ‘light’ was being channeled into slightly misdirected intentions, put there not by my own mistakes, but rather by society itself. The advice and ‘common wisdom’ that was surrounding me. As it turned out connection and attraction had very little to do with what I ‘said’, it was all about energy, joy.

If someone is too focused on  achieving tangible goals or getting the approval of others they never notice and emotionally experience, really ‘feel’ their own inherent worth in relation to themselves and others. Though we can’t see biolight particles with our eyes, we can act with an awareness of these energies and arrange more opportunity to simply receive their benefit. Biolight is a type of resource that can only come from being with people. The amount of light is seemingly small but the effect is significant over time. We don’t have to make an effort to produce it, because it is already  being produced.

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There is a kind of mirroring and or multiplying effect that happens between people and in groups. The energy keeps reflecting off and circulating between people over minutes and hours of relaxed playful interaction and even just physically being around groups of people, the energy increases and increases. This relaxing and enjoying of the company of others opens the flow for the energy, takes the mind off thoughts of fear, it heals the trauma that is caused by both isolation and dramatic events, often events and traumas we aren’t aware ever happened. The absence of the life force energy is in itself traumatic. And being around groups is a rapid way to feel that life force flooding back into your body. even if you have no trauma what so ever, doing this is fun and revitalizing to the fullest extent. We are inherently social creatures. You don’t have to ‘make yourself’ be social, that becomes like a misunderstanding about the body itself, when you make peace with the fears and worries inside you, and let go into the energy of the group, it just becomes enjoyable, the less you ‘make’ yourself do things, the more you become ‘naturally’ magnetic, ‘naturally’ attractive.

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I was fascinated to learn, five years ago when I was 25, that the term ‘biophoton’ was out there and there was a lot of research already confirming my suspicions. At the same time I felt that the research was incomplete, all through the essential discovery is there (of the body utilizing light energy similar to the way plants do.) I saw little mentioning of the way the energy seems to vastly multiply in large groups of people, or around people who are relaxed and having fun, in parallel to each other, or in the process of relationship. And no mention of the way the energy seems essential to attraction, physical romantic and friendship, key to confidence, and they way it seems to heal many things such as ‘autism’ and any difficulties connecting with desired persons (other people).

I think the current research is great, but i would much like to further it by measuring the energy and noticing any changes that occur in large groups or in festival like atmospheres for example. I think it would be interesting two measure the changes of energy in individuals in many different setting, public settings like restaurants or cafes, or in the park, at parties, and at home, at work. and see the differences. I am not concerned that everyone adopt the term ‘biophoton’. I think the term ‘deep vital energy’ is a bit better for the layman to use, it doesn’t sound so nerdy or science, although it is a bit wordy. Other words have been used such as ‘orgone energy’. Terms like ‘chi or prana’ describe the same energy, however those terms can imply effort, lots of skill, martial arts training and awareness. The ‘deep vital energy’ requires little skill. Often unskilled people will happen to be in good positive community environments that can naturally and or accidentally provided them with all this ‘vital energy’ this ‘orgone energy’. It doesn’t have that much to do with training. However you can practice to be more aware of it, and to consciously put ourselves in locations where you will naturally receive it’s benefit. I feel that the research on bio-photons doesn’t express the incredible social physical and emotional benefits of the energy, and the way it multiplies in social settings, particular ones that are relaxed or have a fun atmosphere.

When you are in these healthy good energy ‘good vibe environments’ you won’t even have to try to receive the befit of the energy. It will happen naturally. Mostly you will just have to make sure not to worry too much, to ‘get out of your own way’ so to speak. And the energy will continue to feel good even after the ‘good time’ is over. You have been noticing this energy all your life, it isn’t really anything new, some people like me may even lust after it, or become deeply devoted to a spiritual practice to get more in touch with it. I don’t think it has to be such a battle any more. There are many people out there who have all the natural skills they need to succeed, like they aren’t even trying, success just comes to them.

Research from 2019 indicates that the light is actually carried by single celled organisms that travel through a system of ‘microtubules’ in your body, like a second circulatory system, that is much smaller. In a strange way the light field really reminds me of ‘the force’ from Star Wars. And the micro organisms that carry light in the body, they are much like the fictitious (and controversial) ‘Midichlorians’. Particles that carry the force. The microtubules are like a scientific explanation of the Buddhist concept of energy ‘meridians’ passes for energy in the body. This new research about biophotons and microtubules, what I was first referring to as ‘deep vital energy’, is the gateway to a totally new understanding of the body, and also key in how people connect socially. But modern science the way it is is may be likely to protest it for some time to come.

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It is possible that many human struggles and perhaps even bigger struggles of the world could be explained by absences of this ‘bio-photon’ energy and or absence of understanding how the energy works, like blockages in the flow of light between people. While this energy is essentially the same as ‘chi’ or ‘prana’, yet the ‘deep vital energy’ as I sometimes call it, unlike those concepts, this energy can be spread out or distributed across society and communities essentially at random. If you look at the universe scientifically you will see that there is much about the distribution of matter and energy in the great void of it all that is truly random. You don’t really ‘earn it’ (the light, the love) or get it because you’re ‘worthy’ or ‘not worthy’. That’s why it’s important to know that you ‘are worthy’ even if the ‘light’ hasn’t reached you enough in your life, so to speak. That’s why we have to change our concepts of ‘I don’t deserve it’ ‘I’m not worthy’, you didn’t feel the love, so you build up this concept that you are not worthy, and you have to earn it, that’s a stigma society needs to get past. When you see how -random- it all truly is, you realize it’s not your fault you didn’t’ get the love. You deserve it, even more then the people who got it from the start. there isn’t any ‘flaw’ with your ‘character’. Often if anything the main flaw is thinking you have a flaw, like a ‘complex’.

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We often treat trauma like it is primary mental. but I find personally that it can be largely emotion more so then it is existing in the mind or brain. It can be very traumatic to feel ‘cut off’ from this life force energy. That feeling of being ‘cut off’ often stokes feeling of fear in the heart, it beings as fear singles in the heart more so often then it is rooted in specific mental complexities (in my opinion). Making trauma too ‘mental’ and ‘about the brain’ can actually further complicate it. Over the years I have learned to get more into my physical body, feel the emotions, feel the pulses and responses in the body. Getting out of the ‘words’ the thoughts, that stuff is secondary to emotions and feelings which move much faster.

Your feelings can make choices much faster then your mind can articulate those choices into the English language, or whatever is your first language. I find myself sometimes using language to communicate with myself, when really language is designed as a way to communicate to other people, your feelings are a language of their own. Feelings get scary, we get afraid to trust them. So we put words over top of them. Yet the feelings carry a lot more power then the words. A feeling says a lot. Feelings are magnetic. Electromagnetic. I think we undervalue feelings in modern society. “Feelings are chemical signals in the brain” you will hear. We are really ‘big’ about the mind. there are always new books coming out about the ‘mind’. it almost annoyes me now, because it makes the mind like this celebrity, and we tend to over look the power of something truly very simple like a -feeling- and the way that simple -feeling- can put us in touch with a vast river of energy between people, of raw charismatic power and intuitive instinctive connections to others, sometimes even at a great distance.

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(ba = biophoton absorption)

Too often we get ‘cut off’ from the energy of people. Yet modern science isn’t really that aware of the energy, it is like a fringe science, or pseudoscience even, so the idea of being ‘cut off’ from the light energy of life, is not a situation that is taken with any serious gravity. however it is very serious. the light energy is a driving force of life itself. Without it, you will be disconnected, from people, from your(full)self. Society may label you ‘high functioning autistic’ or a number of other things, such as ‘depressed’. As though something has ‘gone wrong’ in your -brain-. And believing that is true ironically keeps you spinning in the mind, trying to puzzle out a problem that was never the to begin with.

When really what you are missing is time in your life to enjoy the vibes, and the emotional connection that you deserve it, you owe it to yourself to actually enjoy the company of others and not just compete to impress them. The forces that take your light away can be truly random, and that’s why you have to remember that you deserve the love. the light. You will be surrounded by people telling you you have a complicated problem of motivation or of mind, of physiology, but really the best thing you can do for yourself and the world is to open they way for more light to enter your life, to get out there, soak up the vibes, and be kind to yourself instead of worrying what others will think. I spent all my life trying harder to be more successful, to self improve, it all turned out to be a spiral in the end. it turns out…. happiness is easy.

Once you identify what got in the way of giving yourself permission to be happy around people, you start to feel the stress in your body, and you start to let it go. Trauma is a bigger problem in society then we give it credit for. It is exacerbated by the fact that we aren’t that aware about the way energy flows between people and multiples in groups. We fight for scraps of joy here and there, when all you have to do is show up to a party or a festival, and you become like a sponge, soaking up the life force, the light, the ‘human field, the vibes, and that energy powers your deep body, you retain it, like this ‘after glow’, you can go home and wright novels, or enjoy a video game with this heightened sense of perception and emotion, appreciation for the little things, you are charged on life and don’t need the game to fill the void any more so you gain this whole new appreciation for the details, you don’t have to be glued to people, you can just enjoy life at your own pace. That energy is fuel for all kinds of things. Sometimes what we call ‘motivation’ to strive for greater heights is a mentality that makes life unnecessarily challenging. When you are used to doing things the hard way it almost seems too easy to just allow yourself to feel happy.

Some families and or groups have the ‘good vibes’ and produce lots of vibrant magnetic or attractive children, others are awkward and have ‘low energy’ emission. It is very random and chaotic, and it is not anyone’s fault. If a flower doesn’t get enough light, it is not the fault of the flower that it is not growing, and it’s also not the fault of the flowers near by, and no amount of shouting or telling the flower to “grow” can make it grow. It grows from sunlight soil and water, being in a nourishing environment. That means being somewhere where it can receive the ‘energy’ to become part of it’s flow. People grow like plants, yet we place judgment on ourselves and each other all the time for things that aren’t anyone’s fault. We need to take charge of our lives and seek out and create environments that make it easier to thrive, and break the patter of what all the old voices and old habits of conditioned society tell us we ‘should’ to. What all those voices tell us ‘is right’ and start listening to what ‘feels’ right. Listening more to that feeling. It isn’t obvious. And even just listening to the feeling doesn’t mean everything will go right. The first time i tried just trusting in the ‘feeling’ never even seemed to let me leave the house. I think I got more discouraged about trusting my ‘feelings’ after that. It didn’t seem to be the first time feelings had lead me astray. And yet all that goes back to the environment thing. once I got myself out of the house and into that environment where i could ‘grow’ like the flower. The energy started to flow. I went to meetups and concerts and places where people were having fun. That was how i taught myself to succeed society. And disconnected from the old advice the forced social skills and ‘be yourself’ stuff that wasn’t working. The ‘try harder’ thing that feels like motivation yet becomes endless and fruitless over months and years.

Natural Synergy healing with sound and acupuncture “click for video”
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“Everything in the universe, including your body, is controlled by energy.”

Much new information and research is already out there yet the struggle society now faces is the tendency to get stuck in a kind of ‘group think’ a classic psychology thing that is easy to overlook, the tendency to do what the group is doing, to do what others are doing just because others are doing it. Similar to having a kind of blind faith in ‘the experts’ and other authority figures just because they ‘should know’.

This research about the ‘light energy that travels between people’ opens up a new way to understand how we connect and what makes us feel fulfilled and happy. It comes from being with people yet it adds color and joy to all other aspects of our lives, our passions and joy.

The energy continues to last inside of us even after the social gathering is over. Not unlike charging a battery. In a way we are like organic batteries charging wirelessly when we hang together in groups. It sounds silly, yet looking at it this way has made things like socializing and going to parties immensely easier for me. Now I don’t even try. I just enjoy myself. It is something you have to get used to. But with practice it becomes very easy. You keep showing up and letting go of all the old assumptions that tell you you can’t. They come from the old ‘low energy’ conception of realty I used to be in. And now people want to talk to me. We are giving off the energy all the time, it is not a choice, just noticing it is there, now i can take more time to fully enjoy it. Unlike the force or something from DBZ the energy doesn’t give us super powers, however it does connect us more to people, and to me perhaps that is a superpower lol. You can mainly notice it with how you feel, such as ‘uplifted’. You have been noticing it all your life. I did. But I didn’t know that I could have more satisfaction more often. And it wasn’t about ‘working harder’ as I thought for so long. When I notice and feel the energy around people more I tend to seek out those places and environments that made me feel uplifted, the concerts or even just going to the park. I also began to change my perspective with home life, really accepting the goodness that was already there, taking more time to enjoy it. I found that enjoying what i already had, i was attracting more. Friends of friends would stop b, suddenly they saw me in a new way. It was about both acceptance, seeing the good in what already is, and being proactive about seeking those people and places that made me feel uplifted, fulfilled, that kind of healthy good feeling. That is the feeling of the deep vital energy filling you up. To be more nerdy you can call it ‘biophotons’. It is what I am now starting to call ‘Party Therapy’ the joy of being with others yet staying connected to yourself.

I go on the news and sometimes it starts to feel like even young children have something more to offer to the conversation because they are still creative and outside per-established assumptions, while we adults are stuck in the box. The world is changing so fast with the internet, google and youtube, information and cutting edge info is available on anything and everything in a way that is quick and easy to understand and comes at our desire and request. It is a kind of party therapy as well. If you are not using it to replace social bonds that is as I did years ago. The internet fills our generation with so much info, if you know how to use it in the right way that is, non addictive, thinking for yourself, spending most of your time experiencing the real world, the internet can keep you informed about all kinds of things. The problem is now not that we don’t have new solutions, but that we society as a whole is so attached to the old way of doing things that it can be hard to notice new information is even there. And this is really not the fault of any one individual.

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Our eyes alone possess an incredible power to help others relax, feel safe; central in this naturally occurring light exchange between people. Yet it is not just about the eyes but also the heart. It is about what we feel when we gaze that makes the gaze more satisfying, and the revelation that we can influence and change how we feel, with thoughts, with belief, with our own free will, mostly we can change simply by noticing a feeling is there, just noticing we can change it we already start to change…. We allow ourselves to feel comfortable with ourselves and then with various types of eye contact. I allow my eyes to move around and go where they want to go. It is important to know that we can take pressure off needing words to substantiate ourselves. So many modern modes of relation focus largely on intellectual concepts and words. The truth is we can in fact look at someone, anyone, in their eyes, without words needing to be exchanged, and this is vital and healthy. People just like the sense that someone is paying attention to them, they feel heard, it feels good and natural. Biolight travels at the speed of light, though it takes the heart time to absorb it.  I believe it may also be able to effect people from long distances such as 100 feet. For example one can feel and benefit from the energy of an entire crowd. It may be more effective at closer distances. This may sound like turning love into science. Yet I believe that this awareness of our bodies may reduce suffering and enable us to thrive.

“Love and compassion are necessities not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

The Dalai Lama

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The heart plays a significant role in the body in addition to pumping blood. It is key in powering this energetic biolight system in the body. “The heart generates a powerful pressure wave that travels rapidly throughout the arteries much faster than the actual flow of blood.” (Rollin McCraty) “The magnetic component of the heart’s field, which is around 5000  times stronger than that produced by the brain, is not impeded by tissues (muscles, skin, organs) and can be measured several feet away from the body (with Superconducting Quantum Interference Device (SQUID) based magnetometers.)” (The Energetic Heart: Bioelectromagnetic Interactions Within and Between People Rollin McCraty, Ph.D.)   In addition to the brain, the heart and the gut actually contain neurons. This heart intelligence informs the brain more then was previously understood. Our feelings or intuition are an evolved decision making system. When we learn to trust our feelings without fear they can guide us to what is needed both individually and collectively. Feelings of the heart can actually be felt physically by other people near us. If someone has an anxious heart it can actually be uncomfortable for a person ten feet away if they are also anxious or in energetic drain. If someone is feeling a natural or un-efforting satisfaction, this can be felt and is attractive to someone ten feet away and more, and is also healing to another with an energetically drained heart. The energetically satisfied heart is not only less effected by anxiety of others it is healing to them. Without a full heart the mind is more easily encumbered by fear and self doubt. Constantly thinking in search of complex solutions, but never satisfied.  Physical contact, a touch on the shoulder, hugging, is also an important way of generating energy and connection with people. A socially isolated person may feel threatened by touch. Prolonged social isolation, stillness, and time in dismal environment is actually draining to the human body. Experiments on monkeys showed that if you remove a monkey from it’s environment; if you take a monkey away from the other monkeys, but continue to feed it, it will actually die. It was said that monkeys who were given a soft object to hug survived the social isolation, but they were still considerably weaker then the monkeys who remained in their natural habitat.  Social isolation will make someone physically week, fragile. In light of this we should move in at a general and gradual rhythm, adjusting differently depending on the person. Being cautious with an isolated person so they feel safe.

We can also exchange biolight with animals. It is possible that a larger person may emit more then a smaller person, a young man may emit more than a baby. The fully mature heart emits more. A happy person will emit more then a small cat (of similar emotional state). But a cat may emit more then a depressed person. At the same time babies and children will emit a lot because they instinctively know to make eye contact and feel free to play; social insecurity in society has not yet set in. Children and young people will often emit a lot of biolight because their bodies are very healthy and they feel free to express play (thus releasing the stress in their cells). Knowing about biolight and play can restore youth to a degree. We can use this awareness to get more out of relationship, and be with people that help us feel good.

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I used to think that other people, girls I liked, peers I wanted to meet, ‘had the love,’ the ‘bright eyes’. We’ve all felt or seen it. I would sense it from people. All my life I was expecting the other person to ‘show the love’. I thought if someone didn’t that meant they didn’t like me. But now I see the ‘bright eyes’ more as a phenomena that arises between people. I was putting too much pressure on the other expecting it from them. It was never there’s to give. The ‘bright eyes’ is something that arises over time between two or more people.

I think trauma exists in the world on a bigger level then we even realize, and often we are compactly unaware of it. We tend to think ‘we’ have a problem, and everyone else has it ‘figured out’. That is in itself part of the ‘trauma prescriptive’. Part of that trauma perspective is not even knowing the trauma is effecting you. We feel disconnected. Like others are more outgoing and magnetic then we can ever hope to be. But when you heal that ‘feeling’, things start to shift. It is as simple as ‘enjoying the vibes’. but that can feel scary, you get used to failure, you start to expect failure, expect the hurt. But there might be a feeling inside you that tells you can get more connected, the ‘how’ isn’t totally obvious, but the feeling shows you how. and it is that feeling is like the ‘receptor’ that guides you to where the ‘vital energy’ is. the biophotons so to speak.

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‘Biophotons’ makes you think of little particles. But really it is like a river, flowing between people, and circulating through your own body. like a love loop. a feedback loop. it circulates and grows stronger with each circulation. Weather it is the relationship between your mind and your heart, or the relationship between you and others, let it be a loving one. When you love yourself, that is the starting place to open the energy to love others. Yet keep in mind that we are a community organism, and if you try to love yourself too much in the safety of your own isolation, you start to feel cut off. It is valuable to learn how to be around others, yet not feel the need to ‘conform’ to exactly what they are doing and saying and how they are doing and saying it. It is possible to be around others and enjoy their company, whiteout really conforming to a single thing, if you so desire, you have to go at your own pace and do what feels right for you, and at the end of the day, that’s what makes others happy to, if others feel that you are happy they will feel happy too.

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This social benefit is healing to us all. With time and practice, day after day it begins to feel more natural and instinctive to simply receive this ‘human light energy’ in the group. This is what I at first was calling the ‘love instinct’. To seek love attention and connection for the pure joy of it, for the good feeling it brings. Over time doing this the heart and mind actually self rewires so to speak, you thoughts and feelings become naturally reoriented towards seeking energy and joy and fulfillment from people and eye contact and things like laughter and the warm feelings this all brings. Feelings that become almost impossible to find when connection becomes replaced with material pleasures. Over just minutes and hours our heart and cells are charged with it. We become ‘fulfilled’ ‘uplifted’ ‘naturally high.’ (Naturally Social)

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“If you could eliminate certain outside frequencies that interfered with our bodies, we would have greater resistance toward disease.” – Nikola Tesla

We Conquered Love, it’s almost epic

I met this amazing girl recently. I remember thinking that she was the hottest girl in my town/community, and thinking there was no way she would be interested in me. My plan was to talk to her if she wanted it, but not to ‘over focus’ on her, not to make her my main focus or romantic priority. She was inviting right away and invited me to sit next to her at this meetup event. However stuff like this happens to me now and then and i tell myself not to get ‘too attached’ just because I ‘got lucky’ and a pretty girl asked me to sit next to her. I had little connects with her for the following months. But then recently she needed a place to stay and moved in with me in my house where we live with six other friends. From that point on i told myself still not to get ‘too excited’ but after just a few days, something changed, i became much closer to her. Turns out she has a boyfriend and the cynic in me says ‘of course all hot girls are already taken’. i’m kind of selfish at this point in my life, being 29 and single, and am still wanting to pursue her. But it’s only because i also sense she has interest in me. I’ve been trying to get a girlfriend since i was 13. That makes this a 16 year quest lol. I don’t’ like to talk about it that much but i am actually a virgin. I think there is no same in this. I was ready to start a ‘virgins anominous.’ I think there is too much of a ‘race for sex’ with men, and it really isn’t something we need to validate our male pride. For the last 5 our so years i have been more interested in a quest for love then a quest for sex.

I did my best to send her the right signals to this girl. Lets call her Revanna. it’s only now and then. I try not to overwhelm her or come off as needy. They way she looked at me, looked into my eyes, and things she said let me know she liked me. When that happened i tried to give back, to send her the right signal. I like to make it a bit humorous, so it is friendly and not scary, being too direct can be scary or even crude to people. She told me she was “recovering from drug addition” so i told her “funny, many of the girls i really like seem to be recovering drug addicts.” I think she liked that. The statement let her know that i ‘really liked her’ I opened that door. But because it was indirect, it just ‘lets her know’ without forcing her to respond to it. There is a place for being more direct but in this case it wasn’t until after we made love. She told me i was beautiful so at that point it was pretty easy for me to feel safe telling her i felt the same way. I told her she was hot, and she told me i was hot. I never experienced anything so complete. At another point she was telling me that her ex needed anime porn to get off. I ended up telling her something like “I actually watch that too lol. I watched regular porn too though. I guess i need both. I don’t actually like porn that much because it feels kind of aggressive, i don’t really like watching other people have sex, so i guess technically i watch ‘videos of women’ that may or may not be porn.” I told it as kind of a ‘funny story.’ I remember thinking ‘what the fuck kind of dating tactic is this, I am telling her about porn. it was ok because she brought up the subject and i could tell from her personalty that she was ‘cool’ talking about most anything. It felt important to bring the subject up at least once because, to respond to that opening she gave me to talk a few sentences on that topic, because it lets her know that i have those desires. she had told me about her sexual inclinations, her struggle to remain committed to a single person. It felt important that i open up too, otherwise she might actually think that i was too ‘proper’ to have sexual inclination, or some shit, she might just think i wasn’t interested. in the past i would say so little that girls would think i actually wasn’t interested. even when i definitely was. I try to say just enough for them to realize that i have these thoughts and feelings, for them or girls in general, without going overboard. I think because i opened up about these stuff, she felt comfortable to continue opening further to to me, asking to hold my had and ‘cuddle me’.  At one point i was walking around with her outside, and she asked to massage my hand. I tried to make it seem comfortable and natural, like it was ordinary or totally cool, I wanted her to get that i was ok with it, often guys might go overboard and say something too sexual at this point, or say nothing at all. It is actually very simple, almost too simple, but i found that perfect middle ground. I just waited a bit and let her massage my hand, she said “how does that feel?” i said something like “that feels nice.” The old me would have said “that feels fine.” And that would have made her think i didn’t like it. A lot of these things are like strange habits. I think that “fine” is some kind of safe word, because i’m afraid in the past of saying too much. but I knew this time that it was important to say “nice” or “good” and not just “fine”. I think i probably could have done a bit more, i tend to be overly cautious. She told me that she has liked me this entire time. I remember  many times being afraid just to say “hi” to her. I realize i could have been a lot more bold, just in terms of ordinary things like saying high. This girl is 25, she is close to my age. I’ve met some girls who were a bit younger and just not interested. Because of that and my past experiences i tend to assume any girl i like won’t be interested. but that isn’t true any more. In this case she was interested, and I could have been more active in approaching her or saying hi to her. I got lucky that she moved into my house, there are six of us living here as friends. And living together made us way closer.

After things went so well with Revanna I started to reevaluate a few past relationships. I can think of a time from last year where a girl was nice to me but i thought she wasn’t ‘really’ interested. but she said things like “when are we going to go on a date Zack?” the singles were mixed. i thought maybe it was some kind of a joke. but then she was more forward the more recent times i saw her saying things like “Zack is one of my favorite people” to one of my friends. and asking me to go on a walk with her. I remember a day a year ago when we had a chance to hang out but she didn’t talk to me, here head seemed somewhere else. But maybe she just thought i didn’t like here. I think she was ‘going through shit’ but that didn’t have anything to do with me. Maybe she liked me all along. Like with Revanna, i could have included her more. This Revanna girl is so attractive that even though i wasn’t ‘sure’ she wanted to talk, i would just see her and be like “hey!” i tried to make eye contact with her. I remember thinking she wasn’t that responsive. but i think i was being to self critical. Because the next time I saw her she was driving by and she gave me a big wave, then she responded to my friend request on face book. It was that ‘delayed reaction’ effect I referred to in my Naturally Social book at one point. i have so many versions of that book i’m not even sure it made it into the final ones. Sometimes when you give ‘the love’ to someone, i mean in an appropriate way, like saying ‘hello’ they might not ‘appear’ to give back at first. they make a mental note of it and then feel more inclined to ‘give back’ in the future, to say hello in the future. we get discouraged to easily. I’ve even noticed this in myself. once this hot girl was inclusive towards me, she asked me how i was doing. but i couldn’t think of anything interesting to say. it felt like i didn’t have a ‘good’ response to her that reflected her energy / the joy i felt. but then 30 minutes later i got another chance to talk to her. it ended up being a great conversation that when way past my expectations, it just started with me wanting to ‘give back’ a good vibe that she sent me.

I was hanging out with this Revanna girl one night. She told me she wanted to “cuddle me”. We went to her room. She told me to “just relax”. It was compassionate and not ‘annoyed’ or something. It was helpful that she said that. After like 15 or 20 minutes she asked if I wanted to have sex. Like an idiot I said “maybe”. I think i get so content just cuddling or being near a girl that i don’t even want any more. I am used to a very slow rate of escalation, like years or even decades lol. But I immediately remembered that one other time in my life i turned down sex with a beautiful girl. I had my reasons. I wanted a relationship with that girl and i was afraid she just wanted one time sex. But the opportunity never came again. It would have been worth it just for the experience. Life can be so chaotic and unpredictable. I knew that another chance might not come again for like another 2 years or something lol. So after a few seconds i was like “actually, lets have sex.” It was great to have her on top of me. I didn’t realize how much rigorous humping was involved. For 16 years, from when my quest for love stared at the age of 13, till now, i just couldn’t succeed with women. I began to feel hatred inside me. I wondered if women were more ‘evolved’ then men. If they had evolved beyond the need for love. They could focus on there higher passions for art and academic ambition. While men were controlled by base desires for the booty and other sexual inclinations. I told myself stores like this out of hatred, to try and explain things, to make sense of everything. I told myself that women were better and they didn’t need us. It was great to feel this girl humping me, because it made me feel that she was just like i was, that she had the same desires i did and that we could embrace them together. In this strange place where heaven and earth intertwine. We humans are almost like angels in the way we appear yet we have this animal side to us. Society keeps us so straight laced, we block out our desires to maintain a ‘polite’ and appropriate social facade. Some of us feel so timid about our desires that the other gender doesn’t fully realize that we are ‘into’ them. We don’t find creative ways to express our passion to each other.

This girl was kicked out of her place of work for flirting too much. She had to move away to be closer to her new job. I don’t dislike her for that. Many of the girls I like have been ‘flirtatious girls’, those girls tend to have a lot of vibrant energy, because they are always ‘playing the game’, I don’t hate them for that. Love is unpredictable and they survive by keeping there options open. I might do the same thing if i was hot to the extent that everyone wanted me they way it seems to be with this girl. I’m just happy that i was in her life. This is a really beautiful girl, so when she told me i was her “best physical encounter” that really blew my mind. Even though she had to move away only 2 weeks after moving into my house, moving was the last thing she wanted, and i still feel really connected to her, we talk a lot by phone and text. Neither of us have cars, but that doesn’t stop the connection. Apparently she broke up with her boyfriend. She told me many times that she wanted to break up with him for various reaction, like he was a few years younger then her, long distance, still in school, and way to eager to get married after only being together a few months. I was tempted to say, “i won’t do any of those things” because i won’t, but i thought it was better just to listen and help with her conflict. Even though i had an obvious interest in there bring a ‘particular outcome’ as to the ending of her relationship, I didn’t push for that at all, it wouldn’t benefit me to be pushy anyway, i just acted exactly as a fried would act to listen to her and to help her make the right decision for herself. And as a separate subject in separate moments i let her know that i liked her. She told me i had a beautiful mind body and soul. she told me i was hot. I told her she was hot. I told her I loved her, “but not in a possessive way” I added. I was afraid the world “love” might be scary because it implies a ‘strong attachment’. But she said it was sweet. I still find myself being careful not to come off as too attached. I haven’t even talked to her about the boyfriend subject in a while since she moved away 2 weeks ago, but i noticed her relationship status on Facebook vanished, and 3 days later i reappeared as “single”. I can still see him posting to her on face book. It sounds like she let him down easy. Just because she is single i’m not assuming she wants to be with me. Now there is a bit more of a distance between us. But i’m not assuming she doesn’t want to be with me either. I had a few friends tell me “they didn’t want me to get hurt” from me telling them the story. that feels way to negative. I mean, any time you open that door there is the possibility of getting hurt, intact it is almost gaurenttee, yet it is worth it all the same. I am used to hot girls being really complicated and hard to get with, compared to some of the stuff i have dealt with in the past, this girl is totally easy. Even tough our time together was short lived, I’ve never felt so validated, the relationship with her felt so complete. She said all kinds of things, that she liked my smile and thought it was so genuine. She even said she liked my pelvis or some shit lol. once she started saying stuff like that it became much easier to open up and feel safe saying the feelings i had to her. I always find myself holding back a bit, i like to play it cool, i don’t want to gush or dump all my feeling on her, maybe it’s just because i’ve been hurt so many times.

There was this great moment when she was standing on the other end of the living room taking a selfie, she looked damn fine, so i said as much. I was like “damn, who is the girl in that picture, she is so hot!!” the picture on the phone was just her reflection basically in the camera of course. When i said that she got this great smile then and ran over and sat next to me. then she took a picture of me. This was another way I let her know i think she is hot but did it in this humorous light hearted kind of way.

I had all kinds of deep conversations with her but most of this was after we already had sex. People say that i have great listening skills but they only come out when i’m around really hot women lol. I’m just glad to have these skills at all. They are really simple, but it took a long ass time to get it, to get how simple it really is. It’s really simple in the short term, being with people and listening to them, but in the long run, i end up soaking up quite a lot of information and i can rattle of the most relevant insight or piece of information for all kinds of situations. The old me would always try too hard in the moment then burn out after a few hours. What i am doing now, it is like a “stylistic application of nothing” compared to what i used to do. I am just enjoining myself. I try to always grow my connections with others. I joke around now and then. I don’t make constant jokes, i take breaks and try to wait for the right moment, but people say they like my humor. My jokes are always related to what is happening in the present moment.  I’m always commenting on some kind of funny situation. I feel connected to the people in my hows, i think Revanna sensed that. so there was already a foundation for us to connect, for her to get to know me even before we stared having long conversations. I like humor, I like to take a difficult situation and put a creative spin on it, make it lighthearted, I do it because it makes me feel good, I actually do it for myself but other people like it, i like it because they like it, and they like it because i like it. Most of the deep conversations i had with Revanna weren’t till after we had sex, but they were important for furthering the relationship. She was forced to leave too soon, but it is still my most successful romantic interaction.

I think a lot of guys like me are afraid of the ‘friend zone’ this idea that if you don’t get the relationship to ‘heat up’ fast enough you will get stuck being ‘just friends’ for ever. Even the word friend starts to take a negative connotation, like it becomes senomonious with ‘not good enough’ or ‘not worth of love’ / something more. At the same time i know that becoming someones friend means you can have them around for life where if you are only romantically involved and not really friends, once the relationship is over that’s it. I’ve seen people who were dating stay friends for years after they broke up and possibly forever. I’ve also herd stories about people who were friends for years and years and finely at a certain point realizing that they wanted something more, even that they were perfect for each other. I think there is something essential that makes that difference. For me it is ‘party therapy’, it is being connected to the energy, harnessing the ‘good vibes’ of people and having self kindness, self love, being connected to yourself, etc. I believe if one can do this you can ‘break out’ of the friend zone, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been in that zone with someone for one year or 15 years, if you tap into the natural effortless ‘good vibes’ they will -feel- attracted to you to the point that they can’t help but want to be with you. it goes beyond logic. the friend zone becomes kind of like the matrix, it is possible to glitch out of the matrix, to unplug, by harnessing the power good vibes, and learning to be a more chill confident person. I notice i still have this fear of getting stuck in a friend zone, but maybe it is something i need to get over.

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It is Ok to be Attracted to Girls (the opposite sex)

This sounds like an obvious statement. However I used to think that it wasn’t ok to show girls you were attracted to them, not under any circumstances. I always got the feeling and the signal that they weren’t interested, and even looking at them, making eye contact could be bothersome for them. I felt the feelings were not appropriate to have at all, or even that women were ‘above’ those feelings that men had, and that I had to suppress or ignore them

However I was making a lot of assumptions. It is easier to see now that the assumptions came from a place of insecurity and self doubt. Low self image. There is a ‘right way’ to express those feelings, and it doesn’t even have to be that complicated. It’s just about simple stuff like saying “hello” and being around people and sending the right small yet appropriate signals. Not even to every single person, it’s ok just to say it to people you find interesting. Adding a little light hearted humor into the way you say things. And also a big one is approaching people / the opposite sex, in a way that is compassionate and helpful because frequently people are ‘dealing’ with something, and may appreciate a helping hand, literally or metaphorically, it often just means being their to listen. We think we have to use all these complex pickup-lines but often girls just want a guy who will be there to listen.

Now when I see girls I like, I am finding simple appropriate ways to let them know I like them. There is a right way and a wrong way to do this. And sometimes even if you know the right way, it might not work on certain people, like if they are too shy. Yet I’ve seen this work in all kinds of places, even at work where relationship are not allowed, I will be making tons of eye contact with cute girls/women and feeling connection and chemistry to them. It is all very ‘appropriate’. Yet keeping things appropriate allows me to feel lots of great feelings of connection or attraction without ever ‘crossing any lines.’

Even if a girl has a boyfriend she often won’t have a problem with this, because she will see you as a friend, yet the attraction will still be fully there, it is quite different from a ‘friend zone’ where she thinks you are safe or smart or reliable but feels no attraction. Just learning how to make more rhythmic eye contact and enjoy her company, focus less on your anxiety if you have that, is already a way to get out of this ‘friend zone’. I don’t agree that the friend zone is permanent, I think it can be changed in a single day if you have learned to cultivate chill and good vibes in yourself. They will always respond to the vibes and feel attracted and it isn’t about the words. Always make sure not to over-focus on her, in the moment or thought the day, cultivate good vibes through being around and enjoy the company of groups of different people, look for people you like ‘your peers’ people you think are cool, this will grow the incentive, and remind yourself ‘I deserve to be around people like this’.

Also it is very good to have many friends of the opposite sex, particular those you are attracted to, this will add to a seance of contentment so you don’t over-focus on one girl. See the beauty in many different people. As I like to say “I like all the flavors.” The blonds, red heads brunets, skinny girls, thick girls. They all have different yet special qualities. When I first began feeling attracting I would fixate on one or two girls and ignore 100 others. Now I notice just taking time to look at people more I will start to notice how attractive they are, some girls don’t stand out right away, their qualities are subtle, but when you notice them they can become very profound or even additive.

Once it took me 3 weeks to notice this girl was even attractive, but now I think she is the most cute and adorable girl I know. With some girls it is right away. Sometimes it takes me 5 seconds to notice a girl is really hot. Some qualities can be hidden at first, but when you are looking for them and know they are there you find them faster. Sure it sounds perverted in some aspects, yet by doing this I find myself noticing and feeling attracted to a broad spectrum of girls. I am seeing the unique qualities of a large group of different people. And it makes it way easier not to fixate on a specific girl.

I bumped into this pretty girl one the street who is the front desk secretary at work. I was like “hey!” I try to emote the emotion I feel in a simple way when I say hello. I don’t mean talking ‘louder’, that’s a common confusing that louder is better or more exciting. I just mean that I try to put the genuine emotion i am feeling into my voice and eyes. I notice often they will respond to that. She responded like “hey!” right back. I felt that she was fully responsive just to me showing some enthusiasm, she felt she could show it back. I haven’t had any real conversations with her before, but just giving her a “hey!” with a little energy seemed to create a connection with her the old me would have never known was possible. It was really ’emotion’ more then loudness. Just by choosing to ‘feel’ that emotion to attracted-ness or love for her, to focus on it and stir it back up in that moment as i say “hey” she can actually feel what I am feeling.

This is because emotions are chemicals in the brain and those chemicals will teleport over to her mirror neurons, just kidding, I find our current scientific view to be confining, even primitive. I like to see the emotions as energetic electric (or bioptotonic) waves or pulses generated from the heart. The chemicals and hormones are part of it, but the energetic wave part may be even more important.

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“Everything in the universe, including your body, is controlled by energy.”

Often people just ‘get louder’ to show you they are interested, this really irritates me actually, and it’s funny because when I was trying to get girls i did this all the time. It’s funny when people are like shouting in your face “hello! good morning!” And you are like “hey…” ‘back up a bit’. It’s like they are disappointed you didn’t congratulate them on their great social skills. Often these shouter type people are the ones telling me to work on my social skills. I’m like, ok, whatever you say. Often this being loud and socially forceful is what passes for ‘great social skills’ or a ‘social role-model’ in our society, it really pisses me off. Then when people get irritated by it that type of person will be like “oh it is because they don’t have social skills. they are just ‘struggling’.”

It’s annoying that being yourself is considered ‘struggling’ to some people. Going at your own pace, taking time to yourself. Not enjoying people who are forceful hyper or condescending. I’ve seen this with lots of people and not just me. If you socialize in a different way that doesn’t mean you need to read 10 self improvement books and go to rigorous yoga classes every day, you don’t need a big depressing intervention and social shaming for your ‘problem’. Maybe the way you socialize is right for you. People will always say heavy/serious and confusing things about how you need to ‘improve’ yourself. It’s a mindfuck and I’ve been so much better off ever since i just stared turning in out. I’m not ‘hiding’ or running from the truth. I just finally after many years realized that all that self improvement stuff wasn’t working for me, a lot of it is bullshit. I was running in circles all my life. Finally i realized that the common wisdom of ‘trying hard and harder’ just didn’t make sense. I socialize in my own different way, and i am way happier then i have ever been, I hang around more but i have my own totally unique methods. I just enjoy myself mostly. I see myself as worthy. Girls dig me now.

It is funny there are a bunch of people who tell me about how I am “struggling.” Because I have my own way of doing this. I’m like “I am actually a lot better then I have ever been.” The old me never got girls. But he was academically and athletically a success. I could get A’s and B’s. I could run 5 or even 10 miles a few times each week. I did martial arts. I meditated a lot. I had discipline. I was a success in many ways, but my heart was overcome by a deep emptiness. Things like love and creativity, the things that really mattered to my heart, they eluded me, i was always ‘blocked’ creatively and socially. I’m so much more satisfied now. Yet people are always looking to improve something, even now.

People are always looking to improve or tell others how to improve, but it actually becomes a deceptive pursuit. I’m like “Actually I am pretty content, I think I turned out really well.” I’ve been through some difficult situations but I have skills to handle it well, I really beat the odds. People with higher authority roles over me tell me I need to learn to love myself, that I’m not motivated, that I expect something for nothing, that I am biased by privilege, that I need to improve my social skills, they say all kinds of funny things when I don’t just ‘do what they say’ it’s a way of controlling you. It’s not real. People live there lives conforming to patterns that don’t really benefit anyone, and it is scary when you question those patterns. Because it means that they really have been hurting themselves and others all this time.

There are actually lots of beautiful girls at my work. Guess I lucked out… though I’m not allowed to have relationships with them, that’s the catch, yet I feel great being around them and I develop friendships with them. The old me would have focused on one of them and been sad that it never amounted to anything more. Now I focus on a who range of people and or girls, but I work on my friend connections with all of them. It’s not really a ‘friend zone’ because I feel chemistry with them, some more then others, it feels like good practice for the real thing. It is good experience and it also makes me seem popular or desirable. Maybe that sounds superficial but it helps when a girl comes along who actually is available. This really amazing hot girl came into my life recently and I will wright about that more in another post.

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Awakening the Innate Intelligence

Play is flowing with each enjoyment of life, then letting go of each joy and worry, to move on to the next positive playful focus. Finding that letting go into the flow of each cosmic event, actually strengthens our memory, our ability to recall that facts we need exactly when we need them with mere detail, more creative spin and new synaptic connections. Allowing some details to go forgotten, trusting our body is already doing all it needs to do to be all we need to be, this act of forgetting, letting go, actually strengths our ability to instantly & clearly recall the things that matter. By focusing on the fun more of the time, the ‘innate intelligence’ emerges on its own, it will be there, on it’s own. Because too often our society does not allow this ‘already present’ intelligence the time it needs to emerge and blossom on its own. Play is the fuel for the mind. Positive relaxing stimulating environment supports neuron generation. Play and relax at your own pace around others. Play and relaxing are both seen as leisure activities, as unproductive in our society, this is why we alloys feel so stiff and dry and lonely. Doing something simple like playing and relaxing around others actually takes a kind of activism, to stand up to the rules that don’t make sense, or at lest meet the needs of your heart, do what you want and need, what makes you feel right, even when others seem to constantly tell you not to.

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Rejection?

What is rejection?

I remember times going to bars, and finally getting the courage to walk right up to girls that were on the dance floor, asking them “do you want to dance?” one just said to me straight up “No.” and grinned like it gave her a fucking thrill to reject me. Another girl was sitting down and seemed available to talk to, but when i asked her she said “i have a boyfriend” right off the bat. not even time to just talk, she had to end it cold and quick, even though she was sitting there alone, in one of the main places where people come to meet people. This will happen a lot, the real realization it just when it doesn’t get to you any more. rejection is not a reason to stop trying. on two separate occasions i just walked up and sat next to a girl (i had never seen before) in a mall dining court, and she looked at me like i was a total weirdo. but I’ve done this at malls or parks maybe ~100 times~ in the last 5 years (and you could do much more), and more often there is a conversion, something good happens, maybe i get a phone humor. That’s why the most important thing is when that 1 out of 10 girl says “No” like you are the biggest loser on the planet, not to let it get to you! I lived so much of my life in fear of rejection, really just assuming i was already rejected. in a way you could say i had already ‘rejected myself’. I was pre-rejected to save girls the time and effort of rejecting me. sort of like the opposite of Mysteries ‘pre-selected’ lol. Now i see so much of it was my mind frame, and when it went on long enough, i finally just decided to commit to going out and walking up to people, and that made me realize i could change my attired, and assume ‘by default’ that people and girls do like me, and want to talk to me. I say ‘attitude’ because the term ‘mind-frame’ focuses on the mind, where ‘attitude’ is like a feeling you cultivate and chose to focus on. Our culture are lady puts a lot of weight on the ‘mind’ and this was part of the problem for me. People are attracted to the energy, the feeling, first and fore most, so i put my energetic well-being first.

One time i was at a dance club, asking a girl, who was with a few friends, if she / they wanted to dance, and i was getting better, this time i was already dancing as i said it. …i was getting mixed positive and negative signals from them. finally this 4th onlooking girl, must have decided i was being too loud, and she walked over, grabbed my arm firmly, and walked me out of the club. That was a pretty harsh blow for one of my earlier and more courageous attempts to meet a woman in a new place. Yet some how i saw it as progress, because it was something that had never happened before, i was pretty determined now so i could see past the rejection, that there was a lot more to learn and adjust.

compare-apples-to-apples.jpgSometimes a rejection cuts to your core and makes you feel sad, and it’s not even something you can ‘choose’ not to feel. You just have to embrace it, and let it slid off you. But the bigger point is that i lived in fear or what is really just a moment, and happens less often then not. And i was perceiving a lot of rejection that -wasn’t actually there-. Often people are a bit exhausted or tired from their jobs or general boredom with life, and i would see this ‘low energy’ of the other person, as a personal rejection of me. it sort of mirrors, and they also see my low energy, or state of ‘backing off’ as a rejection of them. Now i see it for what it is, not as a judgment of me in any way, but that people can often be a bit ‘drained’ and that that is the best place to meet them, i don’t have to ‘act super happy’ i can instead sort of ‘tune in’ to that ‘chill’ frequency, because i know ‘mellow energy’ is not in any way equal to rejection, it’s closer to ~relaxation~. Sometimes you are so excited to talk to someone attractive that you start acting super happy and jumpy, but often they my prefer more of a ‘chill vibe’, because maybe they are pelted by lots of guys already, or especially if they have had a hard day. Even if they are pelted by lots of guys they had to reject, they still ‘have room for desert’ so to speak, as in they’re still hoping one person they are comfortable with does come along. even one guy who is on that right balanced vibe of calm and playful can turn an exhausting day into a good day. Once i watched an actress talk to one hundred guys she was signing autographs for, she looked exhausted, and i almost walked out of the line thinking, ‘she probably doesn’t want to talk to yet another guy’, but then i had this thought, i’m just going to be there to send her good vibes and help her relax / cheer up. I took over the talking so she didn’t have to keep repeating her same old speal, and i actually felt like i saw something change in her. Like she lit up and relaxed.

635895246024855434655902584_rejection1.jpgYou will get a lot of these ‘micro expressions’ that look like rejections, drop outs of energy, or negative thoughts about you, but they OFTEN do NOT have anything to do with you, nothing to do with something you ‘did’ or ‘did not’ do; the real truth is these subtle drop outs in the ‘vibe’ are very normal, these little drop outs of energy may actually be ~necessarily~.. because they are caused by just when someone is thinking too hard, or remembered they left their wallet in an open location and felt afraid, the brain sucks up actual energy in the body, it can cause the eyes to go dull for a moment, and -look- like rejection, but it is actually just the energy being taken by the brain, very deceiving if you don’t understand it, or are falsely expecting to be rejected. It took me like a decade or two to figure this out! To notice i was misreading it. And it’s not ~complicated~, it’s just having a bad social self image caused me to see things differently.

Rejection.pngWhen there is a subtle energetic break like this, you can just alter your rhythm, or continue the conversion, if you take it as rejection, then it becomes rejection, it makes you look fearful and insecure. Most often it is not rejection, it’s more like human imperfection, it only becomes rejection if like 30 seconds pass and it seems more obvious they are trying to pull their ~entire body~ away. But i lived a lot of my life seeing these really subtle expressions as rejection, when they are not! they are in no way rejection! Now i don’t see these micro moments as rejection, so i don’t feel the need to over compensate, and ‘act happier’, i can just allow a pause, or calmly continue the conversation. It’s not the worst thing in the world if you accidentally ‘over talk someone’ and miss that they are -actually- trying to leave, i feel like there is a tendency in our culture to be ‘in a hurry to go nowhere’, so it may not be the worst reason to delay, these skills of meeting people are ultimately the most important thing anyone can really do weather or not they know it.

Another important point to further it this home, is that the universe isn’t quite ‘as it appears’ i find everything has a sort of ‘time delay’ to it. For example if i decide ‘today i will have a confident self loving attitude’ it will take like 3 hours of me doing that before other people start to notice ‘wow there is something confident and cool about that guy’. there is always a sort of build up, a cultivation, to everything you do. It takes time for energy to travel through space, almost like sound echoing through a sea. Space is sort of fluid, and a lot of time has to be spent just being near people, before real energy and clear communication can be transmitted.

Just being near people, after this ‘delay’ passes as you talk or ‘just be’, giving it time, both (or all) people will feel the exchange of energy in your heart(s). It’s closer to ‘cultivating’, then boring ‘waiting’, hey that rhymes. Don’t ‘wait’, cultivate! It’s like ‘how’ you ‘cultivate’ that matters, how you feel, focusing on the good things. Also ‘where’ you are as you ‘cultivate’ matters a lot. Even when i meditate, i prefer to do it outside and near people, because there is more energy circulating out there. Now my mediation is more of a cultivation, cultivation of energy, calm fun and positive emotion, in the heart itself. Energy makes a huge difference in attracting people. And it starts with loving yourself, and loving yourself -while- being near people. Anything fun or positive can be a means to cultivating energy. I don’t me hyper enthusiasm that you ‘force out’ to get people to like you. This is more of a deep inner body energy, that you ‘breath in’ like air, you continuously take into your body from environmental stimulation, and then circulate / generate in your body, almost like perpetual motion.

A lot of stuff is being delayed, but these ‘delays’ are NOT rejections. When u see they are just ‘delays’ a whole new world of (🎵A WHOLE NEW WORLD🎵sorry) a whole new world of energy possibilities opens up. You are exactly the deep interesting chill vibe person she or he wants to talk to, but it may take them a few minutes to ‘warm up’ to u, just to simply notice. You could have ‘love at first sight’ with someone who has already ‘warmed up’, but i find this is more reliable. The world is full of overlooked beautiful souls that back out and feel they are rejected to early.

In a way it is sort of similar to ‘looking past appearances’, and embracing the ‘time delay’ of energy, and the fruit that energy bares. You can still have a physically attractive person, but this opens you up to more people, in my case, because the energy of multiple people, cultivating that energy into your body, is actually the only way to get an attractive person or any kind of relationship. If your in a situation that talking to someone that isn’t your type, helps you get connected to a group of people, it’s worth it, it opens doors to new friendships, and everyone feels better now that more energy is going around. You are not indebted to someone just because you have talked to them. I don’t want to lead someone on because i know what it’s like to be led on, but when it’s about making the group happy, you transcend all that. Socializing helps the good of the community.

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“If we only mask the symptoms, we’ll have them for life.”

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9 Varieties of Play

The 9 play varieties are: move, music, chat, feel, art, imagine, touch, random, suspense. Rather these are the fun ‘nicknames’ I have given them. We will explore all of the categories of play in depth and how they relate to each other. You can categorize play types in many ways, I chose this way to show how different play types relate and intersect. Play types are all different patterns of energy as perceived through different senses.

Each play variety has ‘flavors’ within that type. like red, blue, green, or fast, slow, jittery, or happy, sad, reminiscent. Normally I don’t think about play varieties while I am playing, I don’t categorize them, yet it can help to be aware of it before hand, like you have to plan or set up an environment where play can happen, you plan to not plan, that’s the sort of paradox or zen of it. it’s about taking it in, and then trusting your subconscious to do it all without having to think about it.

9 Varieties of PlayThese categories are just base categories, like primary colors, there are countless secondary categories or even new categories you can create by combining and modifying the different play types. I’ve included many subcategories of play also. I numbered the play varieties to give them emphasis, but they have no order.

Attributes of Play

Before we start, these are some characteristics of play itself that apply to all types of play.

Play is an activity done primarily for enjoyment, yet can have huge productive and creative benefits. It’s about doing what contributes to our personal feeling of enjoyment much more then it is about impressing others with the most clever joke. And allowing the subtle energy of my enjoyment to become a force that benefits others too.

Play often involves something new, or something you haven’t done for a period of time. Play involves variety, more then repetition. Or even a new twist on something done before.

Play can be random. It needs no linear order or logic. Play usually involves a degree of randomness, choosing between equally appealing options for the sake of creative freedom and being unique. The freedom to be random is a big one we often lose sight of, allowing ourselves to be random liberates us, frees our natural need for movement in this moment we can’t take time to calculate or predict.

Play has a harmony or rhythm. It has many different ‘notes’ or actions, yet occasionally they will repeat, or return to a theme, to familiar ‘notes’ to from a ‘harmony’. a sense of familiarity. This is because play is constructive, not pure destructive chaos, it has an organic order or resonance.

Play involves two or more people or objects interacting. Person with person, person with object, person with person with object, etc.

Play is collaborate and constructive more then it is competitive or destructive.

Play builds into an energetic flow, play produces energy, and the benefit of this flow increase the longer it continues without interruption.

People and objects in our universe that do not play or move for too long will lose energy.

9 Varieties of Play

1) Move

dance

walking

running

travling

slipping

sliding

jumping

skip

frolic

stretch

bend

2) Music, 

a sequence of sounds that repeat and vairry to from a melodic harmony, going all the way from the particle level, to creating waves of energy large enough to be heard by our ears and felt by multiple senses.

3) Chat, 

language

communication

code

representation

symbols

geometry

sequence

imagination

think

ponder

‘chat’ is the cutesie nickname i give it, but the meaning of this type of play is language and music. the word ‘chat’ implies a relaxed conversation. puzzles and games are similar in that they involve many combinations, like a code that can be put together in many ways, symbols that represent physical things and abstract concepts, the gateway to imagination.

Puzzle.

games, card games, video games. using constraints can actually add to the freedom of the play experience in a paradoxical way. like creating ‘suspense’ makes the reward better often. games are a mixture of what i call puzzle, compete, and suspense play. there is some kind of specific objective and props involve that take it different places, produces a different experience then a conversation might go where the only limit is imagination. the quality of having different types of constrains, different rules, and different objectives is what makes each game fun and interesting.

Letting Loose

Much of our human lives are already constrained with limits like gravity, or mortality, needing to eat sleep and work, so often we just want more time to let loose without rules, so that is why we have the other forms of play.

Imagine, to simulate reality or fantasy possibilities inside ones mind, believe it or not i find the mind can simulate and stimulate all these senses from inside itself, meaning, when the heart has absorbed enough energy, the mind can be like a virtual reality machine, creating experiences that feel almost repeal inside itself, like a dream, but with practice you can control your dreams, or even create something similar while you are awake. the power of imagination is a great tool for simulating reality, and it also has the power to imagine beyond reality, to explore things that ‘could be’ gaining types of freedom you body may not have.

Work Play/ Purpose Play, the play of making chores, the work you have to do (to keep society running) into fun, so you can enjoy them more and get through them easer, with energy to spare so you can enjoy the play of your choice afterward. in addition it’s always good to question which work you really do need to keep society running, and what is just ‘collective unconscious’ patterns of ‘false knowledge’ humans repeat in fear of not knowing what to do with their free time. this is a huge topic i will talk more about later. most ideally you can turn your work into your passion / vise versa, so the activities you love most are the activities that most benefit the world, that way you become like perpetual motion, creating and innovating in the world actually gives you energy, so you keep creating more and don’t run out (until your like 100 years old lol)

4) Take In, 

feel, witness

feelings sensations and energy inside the body usually sparked by an outside person place thing, or a thought or another feeling inside the body itself. also sparked by visuals, sounds, smells, etc.

internal

receiving

taste

smell

visual

enjoying all the types of energies and sensations that happen inside your body while you play, often prompted by inspiration / sensation from the outside world, or also can be purely internal at times (like when you dream or close your eyes and ponder/feel)

this is the play of witnessing something, an event, a person, a thing, a place, a flower, a tree, the natural beauty of life and the world.. too often witnessing is seen as purely passive or uninvolved, witnessing is not given credit for the amount of activity that happens inside the body as we witness something that touches us emotionally. witnessing if a fundamental and underrated play type, that allows us to relax and receive energy for a change in a world that gets stuck in the mode of producing and giving, to point of self sacrifice. in witnessing or ‘take in’ play we receive and nourish the energies and needs of the body. take in play happens in conjunction with all the other types of play, we play with our bodies, interacting with the external world, and we feel something inside our bodies as we do this. and both the external and internal energetic reactions flow in and out together in a harmony, it is important that both happen together or felt in back and froth. often we get too focused on one or the other, just navel gazing internal reflection, or external people pleasing with a loss of our own emotions and relaxed self. we need to find the rhythm of both.

take in play is important, a huge category that is often overlooked, because it happens inside the body on an energetic level where our eyes can’t see it, it is primarily felt. and it is not selfish, it is essential in listening to people, fully ‘taking in’ what they are saying, and in our own well being. as they say ‘love yourself to love others’. this helps give a bit more description about the meaning of that phrase. play for me shows me ‘how’ to love myself. as well as receiving light energy, like sunlight, and biophotons, or residual human energy.

5) Random Play: so often play has totally random origin, and this is essential. we wait, hours days and life times we wait, just for someone to tell us what to do. why won’t my dreams come true yet? maybe in 5 more years that girl will go out with me. no. it will never happen. the big secret is you don’t have to wait a single moment. when you use the right portion of randomness to grow your play, you can create fun right out of thin air. the fabric of our universe, at the base level everything is quantum foam, a random dance of wild vibrating particles. i like the phrase ‘wild compassion’ because i see living beings as being part ‘wild’ part ‘compassion’. half animal, half angel. the ‘wild’ is the martial side. life is a constant flood of random material information, chaos. yet all these random disorganized things in life can be converted into vital meaningful energy as though with the snap of your fingers. you just have to see it as -play-. it rains, i can tell a story about something good that happened to me in the rain. i see a picture on the wall, it reminds me of a weird girl i half dated, that improves my mood. better play is often intentional, basket balls that are carefully crafted to be basket balls for just the right bounce and light weight touch for the game. but as you play basket ball, all the random factors, the force of the wind, the sunlight, effect the ball, effect your mood, it’s random, but it is also meaningful, because no 2 games are the same, each day is full of subtly different factors, putting you in a position that you have to adapt each day, for a different experience of the game of life. instead of seeing random events as a hindrance, i see it as something that will give a new twist to my day or week, make it unlike any other. that that variety fuels my energy in the long run. without all that random different stuff going on in the universe, the day gets boring, and we all actually lose energy! sometimes all you have to do is control things less, and fun just starts appearing out of no where! it wants to happen. it can be scary at first not to plan everything, but when you learn to go with the fun opportunities that appear, you see that they have a rhythm, and unseen yet real energy field, a safety net that holds you in them, in the experience of play and the magnetic joining of people. when you can’t think of anything to say, but it feels like silence isn’t right either, you go with random. we think random is meaningless. yet it is actually -essential-, is what so many people never get. randomness is the makeup of the universe, and randomness is great fun! when there is a moment that feels missing something, whenever there is, I go with something random, it comes from somewhere, maybe something reminded me of it, maybe it was something we were talking about an hour ago, a day ago, maybe it’s something cool I was waiting for a good time to mention, it can get more basic, random colors, random feelings, focusing on something fresh in your mind feels good, it’s whatever pops into my mind, something around me probably made me think of it, but it’s not important that I know that, now that I have it, I feel a little better, and I turn it into part of the conversation, something slightly related to previous topics, or a totally new topic, (remember the alternative is not thinking of anything to say at all when you may really want to) it doesn’t have to be something all that smart, often the best roots of creativity and connection between people are simple, basic, a simple feeling, being captivated by a color, a sound, a few notes of music, something pleasant. energy is simple, but our eyes can’t see wave energy, so we always overlook it! we need it. now that you have this new random thing in your mind, see if you can speak it some how.

Variety: all the forms of play are all about variety, the play of switching between different flavors, colors, etc, and the play of switching between different types of play.

Layered play: the play of combining and recombining different types of play.

the most sophisticated multilayered kind of play. this play is about the many layers.this is the play of evolved minds, the play of humans. the play of many layers.

Surprise: play is all about something new, something different something fresh. the play of the unexpected. just by enjoying one thing, it means you are not doing something else, and thus you are creating distance and time for that other thing to feel new and different again. while you are at the mall.. you are enjoying yourself there, and forgetting the sensations of being on the beach.. so when you finally get back to the beach, it really feels like a fresh and different experience, because you are not their every hour or every day. knowing this helps because i know if i get board of a particular activity, all i have to do is leave it for a few hours, a few days, do something else, and when i come back, that activity I love will be fun again, i will have fresh reined love for it. too often we live life in a melancholy wondering why things that used to make us happy don’t any more. It’s because we find one thing we love, and then we sap the ‘play value’ out of it by doing it too long. we don’t alternate our activities enough for the sake of enjoyment. we get addicted to the specific ’material’ of something, because we don’t understand the varieties of play, and how to use the act of play to create energy from ourselves and all things. take note of the thing you love, then find something different, then come back to the first thing, then try the first think in different ways. always recombining different things and ways of playing in different ways.

6) Art,

see,

aesthetic

location of things, color, often visual, contrast, variety, balance, the aesthetically pleasing and organize location of objects and furniture in space helps the flow of energy. just as a beautiful painting that conveys emotion is more pleasing and uplifting then a splotch of mud. Even art that appears random often has an emotion it conveys, stimulating the play and sensory feeling circuits inside the body of those who witness the art. art is a visual language, and a language of physical objects and gestures, which our eyes can see. while music is a language of sound, unseen to the eye, yet just as powerful. looking at a painting, taking in the beautifully of a landscape, this is the play of ‘art’. It’s important to set up your house to have an aesthetic just as you would paint a painting, or write a article in a way that catches the readers interests.

Object Play: playing with things, objects, toys, props, dolls, play weapons. play objects also become a focal point for attention and energy and play possibilities even before or weather or not you pick them up. play usually tends to involve and interaction with an object of some kind, or the environment, so this is an attribute that applies to most varieties of play, that play involves objects, play is an interacting between things and people, or people and people.

7) grow/Empower, Suspense

spending, healing, the play of changing the world. bringing cultural change to large places.

possibly a sub category of ‘move’ because it relates to distance. suspense details with much longer distances that move.

all play emerges from a dormant or suspended state, released from the fabric of the universe that binds it.

manifesting empowerment in people can be seen as the act of sharing skills that release ‘suspense’ or tension.

we are all born into some degree of suspension or tension and fulfillment in life is learning the ways to release that tension. however counterintuitively the tension itself is what created the joy of release.. while often their is an imbalance or surpluss of tension in our world, there are times when we do want to crease suspense, like the suspense of the journey that builds to a desertion, the suspense in a game, a mystery, a good tv show. simply creating suspesen or delay adds to the reward or unveiling later on. it creates depth and dimension. this is the mysterious play, the spiritual experience, the rewarding feeling at the end of a long long journey you didn’t think you could survive. the play we don’t see, the illusive, the chills of transformation experience, touching the divine. it is the play of shadows, of challenge, pushing the limits. empowerment is the opposite or the release of suspense, yet the two may actually create eachtoehr if you look beyond the universe itself. a person wise beyond this world might say taking a wound, is, being empowered.

our universe is not a ’neutral zone’ and can be considered a giant dome of ‘suspense play’. everything is a challenge that tests our limits. a quest for survival and to discover the mysteries of life. we are so used to this subtle challenge that pulls on us that we don’t realize it is there. very real challenges pull on us every day. calling it ‘suspense play’ is a kind way of putting it. there may be other universe where this isn’t so. you could say we are suspended beneath a heavy piece of anti-matter. our universe is a suspense dome that spans 46.5 billion light-years at least, it appears infinite, yet our universe is a place defined more by it’s constraints then it’s freedoms. so i pose that it is not infinite, but simply extremely large. it is possible to stretch the fabric of our dome universe, so this constraint may lose its meaning.

8) Compete,

the thrill of testing your skills against another, not a way of life, but fun now and then. too often this is the only type of play we know as adults. it is more of a subset then a primary way of play.

9) Touch,

gripping

grabbing

texture

contact

colliding

spongy

hard

smooth

soft

most and many activities usually combine a few or many different types of play at once, for example:

move + art + suspense = adventure

the physicality of moving your body, the suspense of the long journey, the distance traveled, and the art, the beauty of the visual landscape, your reward, combine to create the experience we all know as ‘adventure’ a composite of many types of play. you can also include the internal ‘take in’ body sensations, the feeling of aliveness, but ‘take in’ these internal feelings happen in combination will all types of play, so are not unique to adventure.

play is usually between people, but can happen individually. when people gather play and energy possibilities multiply in a major way. but alone time does have it’s place and importance too.

the 9 varieties of play can each be experience in a few different modes between people. two people can be side by side in parallel play for example each doing their own kind of play, separate, yet in the same space, and their is a benefit to this. i think play is best as something we share, or at least do together. yet at times it benefits us to find the play that is most true to us if that means playing alone at times or around people yet not with people at times. don’t feel you have to be so glued to others that you lose yourself.

Natural Synergy healing “click for video”
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“If you could eliminate certain outside frequencies that interfered with our bodies, we would have greater resistance toward disease.” – Nikola Tesla